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Monty Python Quotes


Anna
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Wait...I think I remember...

"Of course I'm french! Why do you think I talk with this outrageous accent?!"

"Now, we wait until night, and we jump out of the rabbit and attack from inside!"

"Thou shall count to three and then throw the grenade. Thou shall not count to four, and not to two unless then proceeding onto three. Five is right out."

What's up with me...I can't think of more?!:bawl:
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Hehe, I love this movie. Weekly ritual (well. . was at least) for whole group of us to get together and watch this movie, qouting all the lines as we went ^_^ Have to say that the majority of the lines I love have been taken already =P But here goes. . .

ARTHUR: Old woman!
DENNIS: Man!
ARTHUR: Man. Sorry. What knight live in that castle over there?
DENNIS: I'm thirty-seven.
ARTHUR: I-- what?
DENNIS: I'm thirty-seven. I'm not old.
ARTHUR: Well, I can't just call you 'Man'.
DENNIS: Well, you could say 'Dennis'.
ARTHUR: Well, I didn't know you were called 'Dennis'.
DENNIS: Well, you didn't bother to find out, did you?
ARTHUR: I did say 'sorry' about the 'old woman', but from the behind you looked--
DENNIS: What I object to is that you automatically treat me like an inferior!
(can't go on. . too funny)

ARTHUR and BLACK KNIGHT: Aaah!, hiyaah!, etc.
[ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's left arm off]
ARTHUR: Now stand aside, worthy adversary.
BLACK KNIGHT: 'Tis but a scratch.
ARTHUR: A scratch? Your arm's off!
BLACK KNIGHT: No, it isn't.
ARTHUR: Well, what's that then?
BLACK KNIGHT: I've had worse.
ARTHUR: You liar!
BLACK KNIGHT: Come on, you pansy!
(ROFL!! . . next?)

BEDEVERE: Tell me, what do you do with witches?
VILLAGER #2: Burn!
VILLAGER #1: Burn!
CROWD: Burn! Burn them up! Burn!...
BEDEVERE: And what do you burn apart from witches?
VILLAGER #1: More witches!
VILLAGER #3: Shh!

Will stop for now. . since I am laughing too hard (must go watch movie again. . course. . have to steal it back from a friend first. . )*grabs herring*
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FATHER: Hold it, please! Hold it! This is Sir Launcelot from the court of Camelot -- a very brave and influential knight, and my special guest here today.

LAUNCELOT: Hello.

RANDOM: He killed my auntie!

FATHER: Please, please! This is supposed to be a happy occasion! ... Let's not bicker and argue about who killed who. We are here today to witness the union of two young people in the joyful bond of the holy wedlock. Unfortunately, one of them, my son Herbert, has just fallen to his death. But I don't want to think I've lost a son, so much as... gained a daughter! For, since the tragic death of her father--

RANDOM: He's not quite dead!

FATHER: Since the near fatal wounding of her father--

RANDOM: He's getting better!

FATHER: For, since her own father... who, when he seemed about to recover, suddenly felt the icy hand of death upon him,--

RANDOM: Oh, he's died!


and, of course.....


HEAD KNIGHT: Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!

ARTHUR: Who are you?

HEAD KNIGHT: We are the Knights Who Say... Ni!

ARTHUR: No! Not the Knights Who Say Ni!

HEAD KNIGHT: The same!

BEDEVERE: Who are they?

HEAD KNIGHT: We are the keepers of the sacred words: Ni, Ping, and Nuu-wom!

RANDOM: Nuu-wom!

ARTHUR: Those who hear them seldom live to tell the tale!

HEAD KNIGHT: The Knights Who Say Ni demand a sacrifice!

ARTHUR: Knights of Ni, we are but simple travellers who seek the enchanter who lives beyond these woods.

HEAD KNIGHT: Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!

ARTHUR and PARTY: Oh, ow!

HEAD KNIGHT: We shall say 'nee' again to you if you do not appease us.

ARTHUR: Well, what is it you want?

HEAD KNIGHT: We want... a shrubbery!

ARTHUR: A what?

HEAD KNIGHT: Ni! Ni!

ARTHUR and PARTY: Oh, ow!

ARTHUR: Please, please! No more! We will find a shrubbery.

HEAD KNIGHT: You must return here with a shrubbery or else you will never pass through this wood alive!

ARTHUR: O Knights of Ni, you are just and fair, and we will return with a shrubbery.

HEAD KNIGHT: One that looks nice.

ARTHUR: Of course.

HEAD KNIGHT: And not too expensive.

ARTHUR: Yes.

HEAD KNIGHT: Now... go!




:whoops:
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[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Yuri [/i]
[B]Is it any monty python quote or just holy grail or flying circus

oh I'm sorry this is abuse... [/B][/QUOTE]

Started off a Monty Python, but you can not cut out the other great movies as well =P Post whichever you want.

As for abuse and spam - do you not like this thread or something? you don't have to post if you hate reading this. I enjoy catching up on memories from the movie, playing it over in my head, and laughing out loud when I think about it. You say it is spam, I say it is TOO FUNNY! :D But that is my opinion, and no one asked for it ^_^

*shuts up*
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[COLOR=royalblue]All I could do is LMAO...oh my goodness this is so funny but I saw a site with all the script to all Monty Python movies so check it out [url]http://www.montypython.net/grailmm.php3[/url]

I just had a fun time looking at this stuff..you will to if you're bored.[/COLOR]
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"Look! Over there!"
"What? Is it behind the rabbit?"
"It IS the rabbit!!!"
"What's it do? Nibble your bumb?" :butthead:

:laugh: Whoo! That never gets old!

simpletons-"We found a witch! We found a witch! BURN 'ER!"
"witch"-"I'm not a witch! They dressed me up like this. And this isn't my nose, it's a false one."
Sir B.-"Did you dress her up like this?"
simpletons-"No. No. Y-Yes. A bit. A bit. But she has got a wart."
Sir B.-"What makes you think she is a witch?"
simpleton1-"Why, she turned me into a newt!"
Sir B.-"A newt?!?!"
simpleton1-".................I got better."
simpleton2-"Burn her anyway!!"
Sir B.-"Tell me. What do you burn with witches?"
simpleton1-"More witches!!" *gets slapped in the head.*
simpleton2-"Wood!"
Sir B.-"So. Why do witches burn?"
simpletons-*thinks for a while..."B-Because they're made of... wood?"
Sir B.-"Goooood. So. How do we know if she's made of wood?"
simpletons-"Build a bridge out of her!"
Sir B.-"Ah, but can you also build a bridge out of stone?"
simpletons-"oh yeah. Forgot 'bout that."
Sir B.-"Er, does wood sink in water?"
simpletons-"No. It floats. I-It floats!! Throw her into the pond!!!"
Sir B.-"No no no! What else floats in water?"
simpletons-"Apples!" "Bread crumbs!" "Very small rocks!"
*Sir Arthur rides up*
Arthur-"A duck!"
*the simpletons r n awe.*
Sir B.-"Exactly! So. Logically...."
simpletons-"If... she... weighs... the same as a duck... that means she'll float."
Sir B.-"And therfore:"
simpletons-*thinks a while*"A witch!!!!!!!!!!!!" "BUUURN HEEER!!!!!!"
Sir B.-"We will use my largest scale."
*they put the woman and a duck on a balance scale and they turn out even!*
simpletons-"A WITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"witch"- "Fine time to go on a diet! :mad: "
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Okay.....THE CLASSIC LINES FROM HOLY GRAIL:

LAUNCELOT: We have the Holy Hand Grenade.

ARTHUR: Yes, of course! The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch! 'Tis one of the sacred relics Brother Maynard carries with him! Brother Maynard! Bring up the Holy Hand Grenade! [singing] How does it, uh... how does it work

LAUNCELOT: I know not my liege.

ARTHUR: Consult the book of armaments.

MAYNARD: Armaments, Chapter Two, Verses Nine to Twenty-One.

BROTHER: "And Saint Atila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, 'Oh, Lord, bless this thy hand grenade that with it thou mayest blow thy enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin, and people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats, and large --"

MAYNARD: Skip a bit, Brother.

BROTHER: "And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shalt be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thou foe, who being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.'"

MAYNARD: Amen.

ALL: Amen.

and..............(don don don)


MAYNARD: It reads, 'Here may be found the last words of Joseph of Aramathea. He who is valiant and pure of spirit may find the Holy Grail in the Castle of uuggggggh'.

ARTHUR: What?

MAYNARD: '... the Castle of uuggggggh'.

BEDEVERE: What is that?

MAYNARD: He must have died while carving it.

LAUNCELOT: Oh, come on!

MAYNARD: Well, that's what it says.

ARTHUR: Look, if he was dying, he wouldn't bother to carve 'aaggggh'. He'd just say it!

MAYNARD: Well, that's what's carved in the rock!

GALAHAD: Perhaps he was dictating.

ARTHUR: Oh, shut up. Well, does it say anything else?

MAYNARD: No. Just, 'uuggggggh'.

LAUNCELOT: Aauuggghhh.

ARTHUR: Aaauuuuuugggghhhhhh

BEDEVERE: You don't suppose he meant the Camauuuugh?

GALAHAD: Where's that?

BEDEVERE: France, I think.

LAUNCELOT: Isn't there a Saint Aauuuves in Cornwall?

ARTHUR: No, that's Saint Ives.

LAUNCELOT: Oh, yes. Saint Iiiives.

SEVERAL: Iiiiives.

BEDEVERE: Oooohoohohooo!

LAUNCELOT: No, no, aauuuuugh, at the back of the throat. Aauuugh.

BEDEVERE: No, no, no, oooooooh, in surprise and alarm.

LAUNCELOT: Oh, you mean sort of a aaaagh!

BEDEVERE: Yes, but I-- Aaaaagh!

ARTHUR: Ooooh!!

GALAHAD: My God!!

BEST TWO LINER:

Run away! Run away!
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"I love this show..." oops. sorry, that's Invader Zim...

lol my fave scene:
'Ni!'
Aurther: who are you?!
Head: we are the nights who say... NI!
"NO! Not the knights who say ni.."
"the same.."
Sir. B.: Who are they?
Head: we are the keepers of the sacred words; Ni, Pang, and Niiiii-wom.(other knights echo)
Aurther: Those who hear them seldom live to tell the tale
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