Discuss Black Horzion: Deimos Rising (UNLEASHED!!!1!11!11)

[Corey]

[size=1]Allen looked around uncomfortably from the counter on which he was perched. The introductions were going well, but something was growing in the pit of his stomach. It must be nervousness and aprehension. Another crewmwmber intrduced theirself and Allen shifted, his face contorting with a flare of pain in his abdomen. That sure didn't feel like nervousness...

[b]Allen-[/b] "I hate to interupt... But I'm going to have to excuse myself." He hopped down from the counter as a audible gorwl filled the air. He placed a hand on his stomach and started walking towards the double doors. His walk looked odd, like his legs weren't quite working right.

[b]Sam-[/b] "Allen? You ok?"

[b]Allen-[/b] "Yeah! Oh yeah I'm fine... No problems..." He stopped for a moment, inhaling and exhaling, trying to get control of some unseen force.

[b]Van-[/b] "You sure? You look rough man..."

[b]Allen-[/b] "No I'm-" Another growl filled the air and Allen shuddered. He began shuffling toward the door. It opened with a hiss and a pop and he quickly made his way through it. Sam, a small smile on his face, got up and peeked out of the door just in time to see Allen make his way into an adjacent room.

Allen shuffled through the room swiftly, but had to stop twice. He finally sat down, and lost all control.

Sam walked into the bathroom and immediately threw imself backward, colliding with Van and Jako.

[b]Sam-[/b] "Jesus Christ! Allen what in gods name did you eat!?" The three of them were laughing hysterically.
???
[i]If you haven't figured it out yet, this is a blooper thread for my RPG Black Horizon.
The bloopers don't have to go in any specific order, they can be from any point in the RPG as long as they are funny.
If you are going to post here, please write as well as you would in the story.
I hope this takes off as well as the RPG has.

EDIT- You can also use this thread to ask questions and get feedback.[/i][/size]

[Gavin]

[SIZE=1]Well this is a change from your usual run-of-the-mill thread Corey, but I can see it being entertaining.

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[I]Van's eyes drifted from each of the women in the new crew, he wondered if he stood a chance with any of them. Allen had been the ladies man on the previous mission but with him safely incapacitated with industrial-strength laxative, it was Van turn at bat though he wondered if he could still charm them like he used to.[/I]

[b]Van:[/b] [[I]Without thinking[/I]] So do any of you ladies find me attractive ? [[I]eerie quiet where everyone's staring at Van[/I]] Alright moving on to new business I'd like to call off the investigation into Allen's mysterious sickness, it is obvious a mere case of gas and he should be fine.

[b]Sam:[/b] Ah Van there was no investigation but as you bring it up, it might be a good idea to hold o... [[I]Lights go out for 4 seconds and then come back on to find Sam dead with a fork in his throat[/I]]

[b]Van:[/b] [[I]Non-chaulently[/I]] Eh... I told him not to eat so quickly...

[b]Trini:[/b] Maybe we should go and check on Allen, he's been away for a while now...

[b]Van:[/b] Good idea, I'll go find him and check up on him myself... [[I]Gets up out of chair and goes to find Allen[/I]]

[b]Allen:[/b] Oh Van there you are... [[I]groan loudly[/I]] Uhhh I feel awful... [[I]Grips stomach[/I]] Is there anything you can... [[I]Microphone hitting Van in the head[/I]]

[b]Van:[/b] OH FOR CHRIST'S SAKE, I though you fired that idiot already, that is it, if anyone wants me I'll be in my trailer.

[b]Director:[/b] CUT !!! PHIL PACK UP YOUR GEAR 'CUS YOU'RE FIRED. [[I]Roof of the set caves in killing all the other actors except Kane and KoTR[/I]] Oh great now we need to start shoot all over again...

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OK not great maybe I should stick to Drama.[/SIZE]

[Annie]

[size=1][color=navy][right][b]Hehe, great idea, Corey. I nearly fell out of my chair reading both posts ^_^ Hm, perhaps I should take a try...[/b]

Ana blinked, watching the faces of the others. They looked just as confused as she was.

[b]"What's going on here?"[/b] Trini growled under her breath.

[b]"Why did we stop filming?"[/b] Ana stood, firmly setting both fists on her hips, [b]"My makeup is going to run."

"I'll be in my trailer!"[/b] Van stormed past the doors, which opened.

The other scrunched their noses in total loss.

[b]"Okay people, we can still keep going. Van will be a minute,"[/b] the director bounced into the room.

[b]"It's about time. These lights are really bothering my skin,"[/b] Steffanie groaned.

The group took their original positions. The director counted down on his fingers. He walked backwards away from the camera, tripping over the electrical wires.

[b]"Action!"[/b]

Ana nodded and tossed her hair. The final crew member stood to introduce theirself. Sweat dripped from his chin. Steffanie began to fan herself.

[b]"So, does anyone know exactly what we're getting into?"[/b] one member asked.

[b]"Hell. We are going into Hell,"[/b] Trini shivered, [b]"But first, I must administer the physicals. Please, all of you bring your medical profiles into Sick Bay in about ten minutes. I'll be waiting."[/b]

Trini stood and exited the room. The others were left to shudder, or daydream, about their exam. One by one, they stood to leave the room.

[b]"So, Ana. Do you want to go first? I'd like to see what exactly Trini is going to do,"[/b] Marcus sauntered behind the red-head.

[b]"I will go whenever my name is pulled from the hat,"[/b] Ana pointed bluntly, pressing the airlock button.

The doors hissed and she walked through, closely followed by Marcus. The doors closed quickly, unfortunately, not giving Marcus the time to make it all the way through.

[b]"Yeeeeooooouuuuchhh!!!!"[/b] Marcus yellped, grasping his rear.

[b]"Cut! Someone get those fixed! Marcus, you okay?"

"DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'M OKAY?!"[/b] his face flared and reddened, his hands still administering the rub-knead motion.

[b]"Fine, fine. Just, keep going. The editor will come up with something,"[/b] the director waved.

Continuing, Ana and Marcus walked side by side down the corridor, making their way to Sick Bay. They made small talk.

[b]"So, what really did happen to your eye?"[/b] Marcus questioned with sincerity ringing in his voice.

[b]"I had an accident. It was about twelve yea-"

"Watch out!"

"Huh? Oooof!"[/b] Ana blinked and turned around to slam into a crate.

She performed a complete flip-flop and tumble. Both feet soared in the air. She landed on the flat of her back.

[b]"CUT!!"[/b][/color][/size][/right]

[Skye]

[color=orange][size=2][font=times new roman][b]*GASP!* Good gods, I fell out of my chair![/b]

Steffanie slapped a hand to her forehead. ?[b]This is hopeless[/b].? She looked at Ana, who picked herself up with a sheepish look. She backed up a few paces, stepped to the right a little, and they started filming again.

Steffanie walked down the hall not to long after, apparently lost in thought. Jako ran up, trying to catch up with her. ?Ms. Littleton!? Steffanie stopped, and turned.

She and Jako ran headfirst into one another. The two fell backwards, and there was another, ?[b]CUT![/b]?

Steffanie rubbed her head, and Jako got up first. He pulled her to her feet just as the director stomped up. [b]?Jako, your supposed-?[/b] Jako glared. [b]?It is pronounced Yakko, not Jake-o.?[/b]

The director rolled his eyes. ?[b][I]Jako[/I] then. Your supposed to stand here.?[/b] They went through the scene again.

OOC: *is laughing to hard to type much*[/color][/font][/size]

[Hinata]

[COLOR=DarkOrchid][SIZE=2]


Hmm time for the silliness to begin...

[I]Take one... ACTION![/I]

She stayed at the desk shuffling the forms in hand and stacked them together as the crew dispersed to their work areas. She sat back down in her seat and places her hands on her forehead only thinking for a few minutes. She heard Allen and Van talkingfor a few seconds and sat up straightaway and held the papers in her hand.

She stands up silently and begins to head out of the door when she realizes she didnt see Allens name in the stack. She turned back to the two of them, and walked over to them interrupting their conversation.

*Trips over wires in the middle of the floor and falls into Van's arms. As she falls Van goes on with his lne.*

"What's up Trini?" He catches her and holds her lifting her up...

"Obviously not me..."

Laughs are heard in the background by the crew and actors.

[I] CUT![/I]
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[I] ACTION[/I]
"Are you trying to skip out on your physical Allen? Cus if you are..."

"Trini! Calm down!" Trini turned her eyes back to Van. It was the first time he had ever raised his voice and she was pretty well surprised to see it happen. But she took it the wrong way still and attacked him with her heating temper.

"Why are you covering for him?" She started. "He's the captain of this ship and he needs his papers here or he needs to get checked out, like NOW!"

Van just looked as Trini spoke her point and burned herself out talking to the both of them.

"You know what? I don't why I waste my breath on stubborn men. Never listen to woman anyways."She began to turn away from them both, and walked towards the door. "You better find those papers or my hand's gonna go straight up your ***."

Allen and Van start laughing incoherently as Trini steps back and covers her mouth.

"That wasn't for this scene was it." She begins to laugh again as Van and Allen walk up to her and put their hands around her. "I'm sorry guys!"

"CUT!"
[/SIZE][/COLOR]

Very corny.. but it happens!

[Gavin]

[SIZE=1]Well I guess we'll have another dose of zany Black Horizon based comedy, though it would have been hard to imagine this while we were doing the first one...

[i]Van was sick and tired of working with these amateurs, he was almost a legend in Theatre at this stage and he'd given up almost six months in order to going into movies because it was the [u]trendy[/u] things to do. The director was an incompetent idiot proves by the constant mishaps and accidents happening during filming, "I wouldn't have to put up with this if it was a Spielberg film" he thought. "But no I decide to take up this idiots offer and do a sci-fi horror, that is if we ever finish filming". A loud knock on the door of his trailer door interrupted his train of thoughts...[/i]

[b]Coffee Boy:[/b] [[i]Excitedly[/i]] Umm excuse me Mister Ambrose they need you on set to film the next scene.

[b]Van:[/b] [[i]Angrily[/i]] Begone !! And tell that idiot I'll be there in a moment. [[i]Sighs[/i]]

[i]Walking back onto the set Van found the director hunched over reading what appeared to be the script and muttering loudly to himself, though he was loud enough for everyone to hear him. Van groaned as he heard the idiot using a pencil to cross out dialogue and replace it with his own horribly scribbled handwriting, more than likely he was implementing one of his many "brilliant changes". Van strode up to him and coughed to get his attention, still absorbed by the script Van had to use one foot to wedge him roughly out of his seat, soughing and spluttering he finally noticed the aristocratic actor.[/i]

[b]Director:[/b] Oh Van, good to see you, I'm working on some great changes to the script and I wanted you to have a look through it and tell me what you think. [[i]Hands Van the script with haste[/i]]

[b]Van:[/b] [[i]Mumbling as he reads[/i]] Alien babes... Intergalactic super-war... Corey getting the girl... THIS IS PLAIN GARBAGE !!! I warned you, I will not put up with conditions, now either you hire a proper script-writer or I walk.

[I]Van walked away leaving the director balling like a small child crying for his mother, in fact he was calling for his mother so Van was pleased with his work. Preparing for his next scene he walked onto the set only to be hit by a large lighting unit knocking him unconscious, before he went completely he could here the director jumping delightedly while uttering.[/i]

[b]Director:[/b] That's great Van we'll have your character go into a coma for some of the film so you have less work to do... Van... VAN... Oh dear...[/SIZE]

[Corey]

[size=1][i]Wow Kane, that was awesome.[/i]
???
Allen walked into the gel pod room. Van was already stowed away, and the rest of the crew had just entered into their pod of choice. Allen looked around, counted off crewmembers on his hand, and walked into his own gel pod. He typed up the commands to start up the gel tank. It hummed to life around him and a large burst of greenish powder hit him square in the face.

[b]Allen-[/b] "Ahhhh!!!" He pressed the emergency release button and stumbled from the pod wiping at his eyes and gasping for fresh air. He got his breathing under control and walked up to the defective pod. He kicked it. "Damn machine..." Allen walked over to another one and stepped in. He punched up the start commands again and breathed a sigh of relief as the tank started to fill with a greeish semisolid.

[b]Allen-[/b] "Whew... At least this one works. Allen held his breath as the stuff covered his head. He waited for the normal tingling sensation hat signaled his soon to be stasised state. It didn't come. He opened his eyes to see nothing but green all around him. He panicked and opened his mouth, some of the stuff seeping in. Allen stopped and chewed. He screwed up his face and ate a little more. The tank opened and spilled him out onto the floor. "Jello!!!"[/size]

[Gavin]

[SIZE=1]Heh thanks Corey, I'm working on my comedy for a new story I'm working on, very hush-hush though.

[I]Van sat on a bench holding a ice pack against the giant lump on his forehead, "That incompetent moron" he growled looking over at the director. He knew the director hadn't been responsible for what happened but he sure as hell hadn't made Van feel any better about it. The ice pack was actually more of a zip-lock bag filled with ice-cubes but it did the job, getting up out of his seat he walked back over to the pompous fool wondering what he was blabbering about. On reaching the bloated git Van wondered whether or not he wanted to hear exactly what it was he was yammering about. Preparing to turn back the director whirled round with a huge grin plastered on his ugly face.[/I]

[b]Director:[/b] [[I]With speed[/I]] Oh Van, how're you feeling, your head alright, would you like another ice pack.

[b]Van:[/b] [[I]Bluntly[/I]] I've been better, no and no. Now what exactly were you talking about on that cell-phone ?

[b]Director:[/b] Oh that, yeah well you know the way you wanted a screenwriter to come in and help with the project ? [[I]continues before giving Van a chance to respond[/I]] Well anyway I got one and he's just going over the script with me.

[b]Van:[/b] [[I]Sighing[/I]] OK well what films has he/she done ?

[b]Director:[/b] [[I]Less than forthcoming[/I]] Umm... some more mature stuff...

[b]Van:[/b] [[I]More than annoyed[/I]] Meaning ?

[b]Director[/b] Umm.. some adult films...

[b]Van:[/b] [[I]Takes in a breath[/I]] What ?

[b]Director[/b] [[I]Looks at his shoes[/I]] ... [[I]mumbles almost inaudibly[/I]]... umm porn films.

[b]Van:[/b] [[I]Absolutely exploding[/I]] YOU HIRED A PORN WRITER ?!

[b]Director:[/b] [[I]Waving his hands to get Van to speak more quietly[/I]] Please, they prefer the term Adult Entertainment.

[b]Van:[/b] [[I]Gritting his teeth[/I]] So your telling me that in order to fix this beyond atrocious script you've brought in a porn writer ? IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE TELLING ME ?!!

[b]Director:[/b] Umm more or less...

[b]Van:[/b] [[I]Balling his fists, bowing his head and squeezing his eyes together[/I]] AHHHHH !!! [[I]Right hooks the Director in the chin, watching him fall to the floor with a thud[/I]]. If anyone wants me I'll be in my trailer, when that idiot wakes up tell him I quit...[/SIZE]