RPG The Ultima Tournament!!!! [PG- LV]

[poo62.2]

OOC:Oh, thank you Delirium, I always thought i wasn't that good! But you've proven me wrong! Thank you again!!

We best stop these OOC, there spamming up the story!

[Guest Mana]

OOC: Yeah, sorry, I meant to say you each get one more post. Go ahead. Sorry again, lol. I was gonna post that yesterday but forgot. Go ahead, and good luck.

[poo62.2]

[SIZE=1]OOC: ok, thanks for telling us MysticKnight! :D

I ran and jumped so i was directly behind Kita.
[B]"The only meat that?s dead is that piece of meat that you call your brain"[/B]
I kicked the knife out of kita's hand and caught it in my hand. I immediately jabbed it into kitas spine. Kita gasped and coughed up blood. I sneered with happiness at Kita's pain.
[B]"You Monster!"[/B] Kita spluttered. I laughed again.
[B]"The only monster round here is you, Half fox demon, half fallen angel? What a vulgar mix, you should have been but in the bin years ago"[/B]
Kita growled with anger, but she didn't have much time left on her side.
[B]"See, your no sophisticated fighter, your just some.... some...creature"[/B] Then I chuckled loudly to myself. Kita growled even louder and flipped round and kicked me in the face, and then punching me in the stomach. I whipped away the blood from my mouth and laughed to myself again.
[B]"I don't know why you are even trying, your just using up vital energy, if you surrender you get to walk away and go to a hospital, on the other had if you stay here with me, its only a matter of time before you die[/B][/SIZE]

OOC:Im sorry if i seemed super evil in this chapter, but reamember, it Mantis talking, not me!

[Skye]

[size=1][font=veranda]I growled, and winced. ?[b]Damn you, human. Damn you to the lowest of the nine hells.[/b]? I took out one of my knives, one with a jagged edge. I launched at him, knocking him to the ground. I was oblivious to my pain. I stabbed him in the stomach, and said, ?[b]Is it so much my fault for what my parents wanted?[/b]?

The spines on the knife caught in his stomach as I ripped it out. He nearly screamed, and my own face was a mask of anger and hatred. ?[b]Never call me a monster. I don?t kill people to pleasure my mind; its not my idea of fun.[/b]?

Mantis sputtered blood under me, and blood gushed out of his ripped stomach. I held the knife over my head, and plunged down. Mantis knocked me away, and I gasped as I felt the injury in my spine.

I held two knives; the one with the jagged edge, and one that was long, double sided, and the tip held poison.

OOC: ^_^ Now, when DW tells us who wins, I can?t wait to see the end of our characters. Its gonna be so interesting to see my character killed ? if I loose.[/size][/font]

[Guest Mana]

OOC: Alright, now Dragon Warrior may judge. Nice job posting poo62.2, and Delirium, my angel :love:

*Ahem*

[Dragon Warrior]

Sorry I didn't post for ages. Now that school has started again, I'm quite busy with my Junior year. And my social life is gaining even more every day, especially since now I'm an official curb squirrel (skaters, yeah! :D). So no hating me ;^D

[size=5][b]Match Four Results[/b][/size]

[b]Delirium:[/b] Delirium, you no sign up to muh RPG >:^O Shame. Anyways, I'd like to start out by saying that your grammar and spelling were excellent. I only saw one or two mistakes for that category. And your description was superb as well (plus the wording you had). The real only problem there is that you tended to be redundant. You used the same words too often. I remember one example was the word "start" and you definately used "bared teeth" so much that it lost meaning :( Those can be replaced easily with things like "shined my fangs" or whatever. You know. Use my best friend, Mr. Thesaurus. He's the shiznit ;^D

I'd like to end this critique with how I liked the humming. It was quite original and you seemed to control your character well enough that I say they're the most developed chara of this whole tournament so far. What an honor. The humming did seem creepy, though ;) Like the chick in Kill Bill whistling :^O

[b]poo62.2:[/b] Poo! :^D You made this judging hard with your nifty word usage. But there are some things that I must point out, mind you. Sadly I didn't see as much description from you as I did from Delirium, but it was still excellent. You did have some short sentences that were very dull, though. They countered your good sentences and that doesn't work well in writing. Short sentences with small description too often = bad :(

But in some spots where you seemed to really get into description, they turned out to be run-on sentences. Run-on sentences (if you don't know what they are) are sentences that sound like they need a period because they're extended too long. An example would be: "I went to the store it was awesome!" That's an example of a very bad run-on sentence, but yours were minor mistakes in that category.

But speaking of grammar, you did make some mistakes there too (as well as spelling). A lot of the things your character said did not have a period at the end. That's very important to have. And to get down to the nitty-gritty and just a tip to improve your writing skill, never use extra exclamation marks when you're trying to write something good. It's okay if it's your OtakuBoards signature or whatever, but not in sparring. Try to avoid it. But I liked how you said your attack names. Kind of reminded me of Pokemon. Go figure ;^D

[b]Both of you:[/b] Last note. I noticed you both didn't use the battlefield or your attacks in creative ways. That seriously helps you a lot in battles. If I see that, I will definately be shifting to your side often. I like to see how you use your skills and the battlefield in your favor :)

Now then, the victor, in my opinion, is Delirium, but poo put up a good fight. Good work :^D

[Skye]

[size=1][font=veranda]OOC: Sorry about the place. ^_^ I had no clue what the arena looked like. :( Otherwise I would have.

IC: I lunged, though it was painful. Mantis? form was now crystal clear. I knocked him back to the ground as he attempted to rise. One knife slashed across his chest, the other plunging deep into the stomach wound.

Mantis was pinned beneath me, and loosing the battle quickly. I growled,?[b]Die, you monster.[/b]? My knifes slashed across his throat with so much force from my anger I was afraid I had cut his head off. His eyes glazed over, and blood gurgled from his lips as I felt him go limp beneath me.

I closed my eyes, and hummed a small tune. My mouth formed words as I stopped, and licked my blades clean. ?[b]A worthy opponent, though I must admit you were brutal. Rest.[/b]? I stood, slowly, and opened my eyes. Turning them towards the slowly clowding sky, I said, ?[b]And never, mortal, call me weak.[/b]? A smile teased my lips as I stepped away, and walked away, victorious.

OOC: Marvelous fight, Matt. You gave me a run for my money. BTW, DW, your rpg was to complicated! >< And my brain was dead. If you like, I can try to sign up now. And I had no clue someone did that. ><[/size][/font]

[Guest Mana]

Alright, I'm ending this tourney. Too many things are going on right now, like cool rpgs. I just had to make sure and get through the first round. Now I will judge a winner by who of the winners did the overall best.

Burori is the winner, because he was most descriptive and very good quality posting. That is only fair. Congrats, Burori. You win....NOTHING, DUDE!!! lol. You get fame. I'll mention it in my sig.

[legatogunsmoke]

OOC: ok a few things. im so late on my death post for this match its not even funny! lol. and is it the new trend to bold all the dialogue? i guess it is ;)
AND, one last thing, the last post by the late ultimamilz (lol) he used my flare type attack, that is in fact the first stage of my chara's rage attack. so im gonna use it now :) .
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His assault was useless, I felt nothing. What he didnt notice was that the bright flaming light was in fact the first stage of my rage technique. [B]"Its time for this little bout to come to an end. Im disappointed now, I was expecting more from you. Now burn!"[/B]

I began to burn myself, starting from my feet. I was now engulfed in my flames. A look of fear came over Milz' face as I charged at him. I threw my swords at his feet, pinning him to the ground so he couldnt run. I ended up behind him, then stabbed my burning hand right into his back.

Feeling his spine burn away in my palm I pressed on inside. Once i was directly in the center of his body I caused the flame on my arm to grow even more. With one final scream from my opponant, I incinerated his whole body, leaving a pile of ashes where he once stood.

With disappointment and a new scar i left the battlefield, wanting to know who my next victim will be.

[Albel the Wicked]

OOC: QUITER! Although my opinion doesn't matter, since my character is dead. But why should you care? This is just his ghost talking. Yeah, he's gonna haunt all your asses. The stadium is now haunted. Better call the GhostBusters. LOL I just had to put this on.

[Beorhun]

Whew. What an ending to this crazy first RPG. The tourney was canceled, and my character, Amare Takenawa, emerged with a seriously hurt arm and a whole lotta third degree burns. What a mad, mad, universe we live in. BTW, I think Misenke's post was spam, but then again, so is this. Anyway, thanks to everyone for not being too harsh about my noob status. C ya all.