Manga Have story, need feedback/artists!

[Raiyuu]

Right, my manga idea. A lot of the events and things hinge on a few basic principles of how the world works, so I'll explain those first.

(This is gonna be a long post. You might wanna get a drink or something before sitting down to read it :smirk: )

The Universe consists of two parallel Realms, the Corporeal and Æthereal. Your body exists in the Corporeal Realm, and your soul or spirit exists in the Æthereal Realm. As you get old and infirm, the bond between your soul and body weakens, until one day it breaks, and you die. We all know what happens to the body. The soul ends up drifting aimlessly in the Æther. If you're lucky, it'll chance across a conception, enter the new life and you'll be reincarnated. You cannot be reincarnated as an animal because they don't have souls.

The longer the soul drifts unconnected in the Æther, the weaker it gets and the harder it becomes for it to reconnect with a living body. Eventually a line is crossed at which it can no longer inhabit a living body. From this point on it is no longer a soul or spirit, it is a dæmon, and can only possess dead flesh and inanimate objects.

Now the pattern reverses and the longer the dæmon drifts in the Æther, the more powerful it becomes. So if it possesses a body soon after it 'falls', the creature created will probably be weak. The dæmon will be unable to exert enough will to hold the flesh together and so it will be rotting and the slightest damage will shock it back into the Æther. Hey presto, a zombie. A bit longer after its fall, and the dæmon can hold its body together, even repair it to look like living flesh, and has enough control to walk like a human. But it isn't so long since it lived that it can't remember what being alive was like. It remembers warmth and craves it; it obtains this by drinking the warm blood of the living. Hence, vampires. And so on. I have explanations for were-beasts and more powerful creatures that I won't go into now (because of space and so as not to give it away).

The other basic principle is that the world's harmony is maintained by a balance of eight elements. That's right, eight. There are the traditional four: earth, air, water and fire, which are the 'good' elements. But these can be soured by the 'bad' ones: earth by salt (which makes it impossible for things to grow), air by smoke, water by blood or ichor and fire by a mysterious herb I haven't named yet, which turns the flame green and makes it Æthereal, so it burns the soul instead of the body.

Phew, there's the basic physics of the story's Universe out of the way. Here's the story. (Anyone who speaks any Japanese, could you please let me know if any of my characters' names mean anything daft or if they've been used before in manga or anime?)

A demon worshipper (or demon worshipping cult, I haven't quite decided) perform a ritual that knocks the harmony of all the elements out of kilter. This unleashes a huge red wave through the Æthereal Realm. It hurtles across the planet. When the wave hits you, your spirit is carried away with it, but your body stays where it is in the Corporeal or 'real' world. Basically, almost the entire population of the world is wiped out in an instant, and to cap it all we've got billions of unattached souls roaming the Æther but no [I]new[/I] lives for them to inhabit. In short, it won't be long before the world is mostly inhabited by dæmon-infested undead nasties.

Some people didn't die. Those with exceptional strength of will were able by a mammoth effort to hold their body and soul together long enough for the wave to pass. These are a tiny minority, scattered and alone across the planet.

Our hero, Kyo (finally! a character!) survived because at a young age he nearly drowned in a swimming pool, so having been separated once from his body, his soul's connection to him is abnormally strong. His twin sister Asuka was not so lucky: however, as the wave is passing and he's holding onto his body for dear life he sees her soul zooming past him and on instinct, grabs her Æthereal hand. Their souls are fused, both inhabiting Kyo's body.

Having their souls briefly separated from their bodies has not failed to affect the few survivors. First, they are all more aware of the Æthereal Realm and can 'see' people's souls (a useful skill when not everybody you meet has a 'true' soul). Some have other new skills; one of the characters will be a 'Sensitive', who can sense other true souls from extremely long distances away, for instance. Kyo himself has increased spatial awareness and agility.

Okay, longer-term storylines: Kyo and Asuka are both being driven mad by inhabiting the same body, so Asuka ends up entering Kyo's sword. This gives the sword a presence in both Realms, allowing it to kill the undead far more efficiently. Asuka sometimes possesses other objects to help Kyo; eventually she'll settle on a bird or other familiar as her main body, but still retain the ability to flit into the sword and other things.

The first challenge for them is: they find a cry for help on an Internet message board from another survivor not all that far away from Tokyo (where they are, forgot to mention). They make their way there by train, battling stuff along the way. They find an originally English girl named Cassiopeia. She knows where the ritual took place (all the survivors saw it in a dream, but she actually recognised the place from her early childhood) so a massive Odyssey to England ensues in the hope that it can be reversed there as well. Another group of survivors, containing a Sensitive and a helicopter pilot, find them and recue them while they're beseiged by vampires in a metro station. The pilot's name is Aki Kasahara; Aki is asthmatic, and because of all the smoke polluting the air from the ritual, has to wear a gas mask. Also here is Nibori Takahashi, an occult-obsessed biologist who is suspiciously (but helpfully) knowledgeable about all the different types of undead beastie they encounter. By the very end there'll be a showdown with the guy who orchestrated the whole cataclysm in the first place, with a big twist I won't reveal.

So, any feedback/interested artists, post on this thread. Hope to hear from you all soon.

[Guest Y4KUZ4]

that is good...but its one of those anime's thats a little complicated like AKIRA or ghost in the shell...defintiley good material.


Although i am SICK :sick: of souls and demons blablablablablablablablablablabla,yu yu hakusho,inuyasha,shaman king,bleach.Im just sick of souls and demons and ghosts and stuff but i think ur story is awesome. :D

[mangakiwi]

Excellent! I would love to take on a story like that, but I would need to practice more and I suck at coloring :laugh: ! Anyways the story seems very well thought out! I like the name Asuka for the girl (pronounced Aska). Mabye it's just cuz I got done watching Red Shadow (Man that movie rocks!).

[Raiyuu]

I mostly see sci-fi stuff like Nadesico and Bebop so the souls/dæmons stuff actually feels like quite a departure for me, but I do know what you mean about souls and dæmons being a little overdone. That's why I'm trying hard to put a slightly different slant on it, having it all set in modern day and with the creatures of the night not being exactly the same as in everything else (for instance, vampires don't have weaknesses against crosses etc as there is no reason for them to under the physics of the world). Any other ideas to help escape the stereotypes of the dæmon/soul genre are welcome.

I like Asuka as a name, cheers for that one mangakiwi! Is any of your art posted anywhere so I can take a look? Colouring isn't really a problem, I mean it'll be important in the end as I want to use colour to differentiate between Corporeal and Æthereal, and also between true souls and dæmons, but I'm sure you're not as bad as you think you are, and there's got to be someone out there who can colour well right? Alternatively anyone got any other ideas of how to portray those things?

:Edit:
I've just read the posting in manga workshop rules, sorry moderators: it says that detailed story descriptions should be in the Literature forum, does that mean this thread needs to move there? Sorry for the trouble if it does :sweat:

[sakura18]

hmmmm? Intresting! ^-^ Oh......i have TONS of good ideas for both girl and boy names!! ^-^ Either American OR Japanese! ^-^ Just PM me if you want some cool or meaningful names. BTW!! Although i forgot some of the stuff in your idea..(cuz it was so long...lol) I thought it would be a good thing to read on a rainy day or when you feel like reading those scary/horror related manga! ^-^ I wish you TONS of luck on your manga. Oh......i forgot to ask,does your manga have a title yet?

[naota]

This sound like it can be a great manga! Are you going to get someone to illustrate the comic for you? Also is there going to be a perveted person in the comic like in Inuyasha? Perverted people act very funny lol.Anyway what will you call it?

[Raiyuu]

I've never seen Inuyasha although I've noticed people here go on about it a lot, so maybe I'll have to check it out. I can't draw to save my life, so yeah, I'm trying to get people interested in drawing this for me. No plans for perverts thus far but I'll consider it ... :smirk:

I'm a bit stumped for a name tbh. I thought of some things along the lines of 'TwinSoul' or 'Double Soul', or the title could be something to do with 'balance' as it's the notion of balance being knocked out of kilter that it's all based on, but I've yet to hit on the exact right combination of words.

sakura18, hi! I'll pm you about those names. Cheers for the offer :)

[mangakiwi]

Hmm... I will draw some sketches of what Kyo and Asuka might look like. Do you have any design ideas for them at all? I'd really like to try a hand at it but by all means don't settle on me as the artist meerly because I'm the first to offer :D .

Oh! What are your plans for this comic? Will you be putting on a drunk duck type thing or will it be just for fun? PM me if you have any designs or character ideas. I'll get started on Kyo right away. I also have a cool idea for a vampire!

Oh one more thing! What kind of character is Kyo? (solemn, happy, wierd, angry, funny, ect) and how old is he? :confused:

[Raiyuu]

I've started posting character ideas on myOtaku. My username there is still Blackjack so just search for that. Only Kyo's up there at the moment as I kind of decided to get the story plotted out before doing loads of character work, but as I develop each character I'll post the stuff I do.

I've edited the original post to include the new character names suggested by mangakiwi and sakura18. Thanks for the assist, guys!

[rokas]

[COLOR=Sienna][b][i][font=comic sans ms] I hope I'm not pushing my dramatic license too far. I drew this picture, before I read Kyo's describtion on your otaku, so it is more a draving inspired by your story than one based on it.
It's a scene where Asuka enters Kyo's sword. The sword might be too flashy, but come on, it has a soul lodging in it. It has to look preaty. I gave Kyo white hair not because I thought him to be albino, but because anyone's hair would turn grey before time if their soul left their body. I only read about Black Hair and pony tail later. The birds taking off in the background is foreshadowing the final body Asuka settles for. I guess this picture is now preaty much useless, except as an example of what I can do.
Seeing ideas like this makes me wonder why a lot of "Profesional" western serials, comics and films are so boring and predictable, while kids can come up with better stuff. I would like to help how I can, though school starts soon so there's a question mark on how much I can. So if you're interested...[/b][/i][/font][/COLOR]

[Zero Tolerance]

It's good material, but make sure you place everything out so that your readers don't get confused.

[SilverCyclone]

I like this idea alot. Though I am not the best drawer (average) I am good at computer coloring.I added one of my works. I take absolutely no credit for the actual drawing. I merely colored it. All rights go to its artist. I give you my best wishes and hope this manga succeeds, even if I cannot be a part of it! :D

[mangakiwi]

Hey! Sorry I didn't do this sooner. Oh well, I read your description of Kyo and drew a sketch. I'm thinking a katana for the sword (am I right!?) Hope you like it! ;)

[sakura18]

hmmm? I don't know...it's a good sketch of him in appearance.....but i'm not too sure of his outfit. I really saw Kyo as a guy in a long black trench coat with tons of belt buckles on it!! I have the PERFECT idea for Kyo!!! I wish i could put it on but my scanner broke.... T.T

[mangakiwi]

I almost ALWAYS draw characters with trenchcoats. So I figured I would do a baseball jersey kinda thing for a change. I always see the "cool" Japanese kids wearing that kind of shirt in movies and stuff. And this crazy japanese exchange student has one. But he's got this sweet mullet and it's all flipped up and crazy in the front. Woah that kid is nuts! Opps. Kinda lost my train of thought.... I think that trenchcoats have become kinda cliché for Manga. Oh well, what do you think Blackjack?

[Raiyuu]

Wow, I'm off the boards for a couple of days and all of a sudden this is a Hot Thread!

Nice work on Kyo, mangakiwi. I'm not sure about the chin - he looks a bit gormless - but otherwise that's pretty much spot on! Trenches are cool and everything, but they are a bit cliché for an undead-killing souls-and-dæmons manga, and I'm trying to avoid cliché wherever possible. I think before he goes adventuring he'll probably have to loot a clothing shop for some combat trousers or something with a similarly large amount of pockets, so he can carry supplies ... but the clothes you've drawn him in look fine for the beginning. And yes, I was thinking katana too. Is there any cooler sword?

I like SilverCyclone's colouring, too. This place is full of talented people.

I've pretty much got Asuka figured, so her profile should be up on myOtaku soon. I'll keep you all posted!

[mangakiwi]

I agree with the chin :laugh: And I like the idea for the pants too. I might take you up on the banner. Do you got anything in mind? (PM me) Mabye silver cyclone could color it if I make something original for you.

[SilverCyclone]

[quote name='mangakiwi']Mabye silver cyclone could color it if I make something original for you.[/quote]

I would love to. If you do decide to allow me to partake in this project, I would be glad to do the color for any drawings you may need me to as well. I also added another coloring job I did. Once again, I take no credit for the drawing, merely the coloring. All rights go to its artist. Since posting this is kind of like spamming, I will ask that if you are interested in my help that you either PM me or send me an email at [email][email protected][/email]

I look forward to it. :cool:

[Raiyuu]

For anyone who's interested, I've posted details of Asuka's character on myOtaku. Sorry it's taken so long, but I've been busy and I wanted to get the details firmly sorted out in my head before I committed anything to post.

In the near future I'll be posting some stuff about the themes of the manga, and the stuff I'm trying to get across in it, although some of the messages I'm trying to communicate will be hard to explain without including long-term story spoilers. Also up soon will be character profiles for Nibori Takahashi the suspicious but useful biologist and Aki Kasahara the asthmatic helicopter pilot.

On the subject of Aki, here's a short transcript of an exchange I had recently with my good friend Leofski of the KGB.

[QUOTE]LEOFSKI: Also, wouldn't it be really hard to fly a helicopter in a gas mask?

MYSELF: Oh, you just had to point that out, didn't you, you pesky Russkie.[/QUOTE]
I later admitted that yes, in fact, he did have a point. Unfortunately I have my reasons for including Aki's gas mask (Sakura knows what I'm talking about ;) ), but I conceded that he could probably take it off while flying because the helicopter is a sealed environment and the air-con could probably get rid of the smoke that aggravates the poor guy's bronchi. Darn those heathens and their apocalypse-style ritual! Didn't they think about all those asthmatics out there?

[Leofski]

I agree with most of what has been written on Kyo's concept art (particularly the chin), also if he's the standard "ordinary guy on unexpected adventure" perhaps making his first set of combats fit quite badly (long or short) would highlight how out of place he is.(you can tell i was a literature student) .

[sakura18]

Hmm? Hey BlackJack? Instead of a gas mask, why don't you put on some ideas for what Aki's mask looks like. We'll make a better one that's easy to look through...lol

[klinanime1]

Wonderful plotline, and it seems you have all the details ironed out. With the prospective artists around, I hope soon to see previews of a finished project. You definitely seem like someone who enjoys making things seem as if they could be reality, so I expect to see something great come out of this. A pity I won't have time to lend my own talent due to time, but it's unlikely it would be of publishing quality anyway. A word of advice for any artists willing to undertake this: In order to really bring out the "dark" quality of this plot, heavily toned backgrounds would be a plus.

[mangakiwi]

Do you think something like this in terms of zombies? Or would this be more of a low level vampire? It was scarier before I scanned it... :( oh well.

[Raiyuu]

Looks great for a zombie. Vampires are gonna be a bit more human-looking. There's a sort of bestiary up on myOtaku site with details of Walking Dead, Zombies, Vampires, Were-beasts, Higher dæmons and Ghosts. I realised there aren't yet any real bad-guy characters yet except the obvious dead creatures, so I'll be posting details of some decent baddies soon, along with character profiles for Cass, Takahashi and Aki and some stuff about Æther-manipulation: the art of using your strength of will to draw power from the various wandering souls in the Æther. Magic, basically. This is going to be Aki's other [I]forte[/I] (along with piloting a helicopter).

[Guest Star_Dreamer]

kool storyline!!im preety good at drawing.............i could show u one later. i might be able to draw a pic of kyo and the other ppl if i can find the description of them!