Manga My first manga/comic: reveiw!

[Skye]

[color=orange][size=1][font=veranda]Lyon?s Pryde: Crossing (Vol. 1)

Fera ? the daughter of the dying race of lion-bred elves, and one of the only ?true? Lyon?s left. She is a fighter, and she struggles to hold her rank in the ever-growing tribe of only half-lion elves.

Jenga ? the daughter of a dying pride of jaguar elves, and unaware of any other prides. She doesn?t know about Fera, or her pride, or how much they have in common. She is a hunter and a herder, and she throws a javelin with the best.

Lapis ? the son of a serpentine clan, and the revered prince of his rank. He hates all the attention; he wants to be left alone. Unfortunately, the Prophecy under which his fame resides won?t leave him alone until he fulfills his duty.

The Prophecy: It was said long ago that one day, three children from the three corners of the Sacred Pyramid would once come together, and re-unite the three tribes. A Lyon daughter, a Jaguar huntress, and a Serpent princeling must find one another and join the Knots of Loyalty once more.

It is only the beginning. The beginning of a stronger empire, of all animal-elves together, in harmony ? if the three Chosen can survive.


^.^ SO there?s the short version of Volume One. When I can be bothered about it(meaning: when I get around to making enough of the first Volume) I will give you a longer, more detailed version. ^_^ SO satisfy your curiosity with that, and go wild with imagination. C&C are welcome! [Pages done: cover, page 1, page 2, page 3-7.] If anyone wants to draw it out for themselves(anyone who has a scanner, please!) than I could give you character desc, what of the storyline I have down so far, and such. ^_^ I want to see someone elses shot at my manga.[/color][/font][/size]

[Guest The Pro]

Umm... no offense but the sotryline dose seem a bit ripped-off, i mean it seems like the same thing we have all seen time and time again, just with a bit of a twist by brgining in the animal-elves (whats up with that anyhow?) Maybe if you posted more of the deatalied sotryline it would amke some more sense. Couse it really dose seem like the same thing.

[Skye]

[color=orange][size=1][font=veranda]Setting: Think Africa. Large plains, lots of rocks, dust, tall brown grass, acacia trees. Only with villages. Three of them. Or at least, those are the largest. Cansa (Lyon Pride), Kaiga (Jaguar Pride), and Lisda (Snake Pride). The houses are more like huts of mud and clay with thatched roofs.

Culture: Cansa: Females are often rivaling with the males, though are more often than not the females are the hunters. Fera always fights for the right to be hunt-leader, and is almost pushed back to lowest hunting female each time by her rival, Yalsa. Males, like lions, get the first of the kill, and are usually the ones who babysit the cubs(or children).

Kaiga: A mostly female pride with one or two males(didn?t see that coming did yah?) the jaguar?s are one of the rarest elf-animal cross overs. Jenga is lead huntress, and the few males that she hunts with do not rival her, and do not try. She is the daughter of one of the lowest Jaguars, but is still one of the best.

Lisda: This culture is made up of males and females, though females are more submissive than males. Some are bron with tails, and some are born with a lot of scales. Rank is held by birth, or promotion, and not by who beat who.

Appearance: Lyons: Most have short, tawny fur, and feline-like teeth. Their tails are long and tufted, tawny colors ranging from fawn colored, brown-gold, and red-gold to pure reds. Eyes have slits. Most of the body is elven, and the human-like legs fade into paws, though hands are like normal, except for the long, sharp claws. Ears are not human, though true breeds(unlike the more elven types) have cat ears. The halfbreeds have long, elfin ears with tufts.

Jaguars: Much like the lyons, but their fur is short and brown, with scattered golden spots near the calves and paws. Their tails usually have a white tip(rounded), and have the spots. Their ears are like the pure-bred Lyon?s, but with spots, and hair is much longer and coarser.

Serpents: They have the longer faces, with a long, slit tongue, and small slits for a nose and ears. Some have no legs, and instead have a tail from the waist down, but most have long legs and plenty of scales. Their hair is usually short and fine, and only on their head, except for those who have scales instead. They favor beads.

Clothing is often optional, considering it?s so hot, and modesty is not very often seen.

-_- I?m writing more, be patient.[/color][/font][/size]

[Muad'Dib]

[COLOR=DarkOliveGreen]Well, despite the fact that the 'prophesy' plot line is used quite often, this is very original in my opinion. I can see the Eflquest influence pretty obviously ^_^ (for those of you who don't know Elfquest, tough luck). I would imagine the 'dying out' lion-blood species and so on would add a little urgency to the plot, making it more or less fast paced. You did an excellent job describing (not to mention imagining in the first place) the different spcies and their heierarchy. I can't wait for the first 'chapter' to be finished.

I would draw it if I was any good at it.[/COLOR]

[Skye]

[color=orange][size=1][font=veranda]*dances around, happy, laughing* Oh, very good! Yes, it does have SOME Elfquest influence(though only from the elf-animal mixes). >< I tried to draw it on th ecomputer (the first page), but MS Paint sucks so bad. So it looks horrible.

I designed Jenga already (and I want a scanner so much!) so if I could I would show you her. I also have Lapis more or less figured out, and Fera is the only one I really have to draw. I?ll give you guys more detail on the Pyramid when I get it done.[/color][/font][/size]