Writing Before the End of Time [PG- VL]

[Lord Rannos]

This is the book that I'm writing in and for a publishing class.It's going to be a fanasy novel, and I need some feedback as to how it's going. It's my first, so I hope that everyone likes it! There will be more to come.


[b][SIZE=4][COLOR=DarkRed][CENTER][FONT=arial]Before the End of Time[/font][/center][/size][/b][/color]

[center][FONT=lucida console]Lord Rannos[/font][/center]

[FONT=Arial Black][center]Chapter One[/center][/FONT]

Rannos was scared. He wasn?t proud of it, but with a 10 foot tall ogre on his tail, he felt that he had a right to be. He dashed through the forest, dry leaves underfoot crackling. Hearing a loud roar, he quickly threw a glance over his shoulder. He saw, about seven feet behind him, a huge, pale beast, with legs half as large around as tree trunks and bulging muscles. It dashed after him with grim light in its eye, holding its club high above its head. It was big, and it was pissed.
?Shoot this bloody monster!? Rannos yelled at the trees, hoping that one of his fellows would hear him, praying to whatever gods he knew that he wouldn?t be killed. His prayers were soon answered; two arrows came shooting from the treetops, landing directly above a short spear that was hurled directly into the ogre?s stomach. Again, it roared out its rage to the world as it pulled out the spear and cast it away.
Rannos kept on running, but chanced a look back when he heard a cry of pain from the bushes where the thrown spear had landed. No time to stop for him?.. Rannos thought, chancing another glance over his shoulder. He saw the ogre bearing down on him; it would soon catch up to him.
?Rannos!? came a voice from behind the ogre, ?Strike it down!?
Rannos smiled. This was his cue. He quickly whirled around to face his foe; eyes alight with a golden glow.
?Die, beast!? he said gravely, slowly spreading his arms. Lightning crackled between his outstretched hands, as the ogre charged him. He grinned mirthlessly as he slammed his hands together, sending out a bolt of lightning from his fingertips. It struck the ogre full on in the chest, and it toppled over.
?I think that?s the last of them,? came a voice from the trees, as its owner leapt nimbly down from a branch.
?Right you are,? came another voice; similar to the first, but slightly deeper. He leapt down, as well, both of them smiling faintly. They were both of elven descent, short in comparison to a man, but pretty average height for an elf. They both had golden hair that was cut short failing to cover their pointed ears. They carried a longbow apiece, with a quiver strapped to their backs.
?Draan, Traan. Nice to see that you finally decided to help me with that creature.?
The twin brothers gave a mock bow. ?Your wish is our command, O lord.?
Rannos pushed past them, going into the woods behind the ogre?s carcass to look for the warrior that had accompanied them. He started poking through the thick undergrowth.
"Where is that swordsman.....?" he wondered aloud, rubbing ruefully at his temples. It had been a long night, looting a gnoll base. At least they would be reimbursed by the mayor of the town who had hired them in the first place.
"I'm over here!" came a voice from somewhere off to his left. Rannos started running in the direction of the voice. He soon saw a large man sitting in a clearing with his back to a large tree and a bloody spear lying on the ground next to him. His plate armor was dented where the ogre's club had struck him, and he had a large hole in his armor where the spear had hit him.
"You look terrible, Kojaan," Rannos said, grinning.
"That spear that Gyrin threw got me," Kojaan said, his face pale.
Rannos began walking towards him. "Actually, the ogre threw that spear away," Rannos said, checking Kojaan's wounds, ?these wounds won't kill you, Kojaan, but we had better get you back to town and find you a healer. For now....." Rannos slowly spun his arm in a long circle, leaving a long white cloth where it went. Rannos knelt over and handed the cloth to Kojaan, helping him to remove his armor.
"I didn't know that you did healing magic," Kojaan said, binding his stomach where the spear had struck him.
"New thing I'm trying," Rannos said as he tightened the bandages, "let's get back to town now.?
"Fine, but I can't walk alone." Kojaan said, struggling to his feet. Rannos chuckled and grunted as Kojaan shifted some of his weight onto him.

[SIZE=4][center]* * *[/center][/SIZE]
Quonth stood over a pool of dark liquid, chanting softly. As he chanted, the water started moving; first rippling, then starting to shift upwards. It formed the figure of a podium reaching up from the liquid. It showed many shadowy figures in it, constantly moving and melting into one another. He frowned and stared at the liquid for another moment. All of the shadows melded into three figures, although their appearance was impossible to discern.
He scowled darkly at the pool, and dashed the liquid away with one hand. Trying to read the future was pointless. Especially if it was inside, without a clear lake to do it with. Quonth sighed softly. It was no use, his master had a castle, and it would have to do.
Replacing the scowl on his face, Quonth walked quickly towards the large oaken door of his chambers. As he reached for the handle, it flung open, revealing a small man with dark green robes.
?What do you want?? Quonth snarled at him. He was in a bad mood.
?The master wishes to see you,? the servant said with a bow.
?In his chambers, I suppose?? Quonth asked, walking out into the hallway.
?Yes, Lord,? the servant said, hurrying after him.
?Be about your business, then,? Quonth told him, turning left down a passageway. Whenever the master called, he usually wanted Quonth to go on some mission or another for him. He walked for another minute, counting his paces carefully. Fifty-seven, fifty-eight, fifty-nine??.60! He tapped upon the wall to his right three times, and turned. The gray stone slowly melted away, leaving a dark portal where the wall had been. Quonth hesitated only a second before pushing through. A cold clammy feeling crept over him, and he suddenly felt cold, afraid, like he was going to never get out. Luckily, that feeling was never actualized.
Stepping out of the portal, Quonth found himself in front of a black, ironbound door; the one that led to his master?s chambers. Quickly straightening his robes, he grabbed up the large knocker in the shape of a dragon?s head. After knocking slowly on the door three times, he took a step back. The knocker came alive before him, slowly opening its red eyes and staring at him. Quonth slowly brought his right hand up to face level, revealing the ring upon his forefinger in the shape of intertwined leaves. The dragon blinked once, and lowered its head.
Slowly, the door opened to reveal a long, dark chamber. Peering hard against the darkness, Quonth could see a figure far off in the distance.
?I?ve been waiting for you?.? said the shadowy figure in a cold, monotone voice.
?I came hear as quickly as I could, Master,? Quonth said, kneeling and keeping his head down facing the floor of the chamber.
?Yes?..of course you did?..? there was a small laugh from the shadows,? In any case, I have a new mission for you.
Quonth sighed mentally, but kept his body still. Usually his master sent him out to gather herbs or something. It got very tiresome.
?I need you to intercept a band of warriors,? the master said again. There was a rustling in the darkness, and a map of Varutyrm appeared. On it, there was a black spot to mark his master?s citadel. Suddenly, there was a flashing red dot just south of the citadel, ?they will arrive here soon. You are to intercept them, and bring them back to me. Use any force necessary; short of killing them.
?My visions have told me that you would need only three?..? Quonth said, barely controlling the fear in his voice. It was unwise to contradict the master.
?Indeed? Then attempt to find out who these three are, and bring them here. You are dismissed.?

[FONT=Arial Black][center]Chapter Two[/center][/FONT]

Rannos strode confidently towards the city gate, the rest of the group he had been traveling with trailing slightly behind.
?Would you guys hurry up? We?re almost to Laothen,? Rannos said, stopping for a moment to look over his shoulder.
?We, unlike some cocky elementalists, are worried about bandits on the road robbing us,? Kojaan growled, looking around warily.
?Well, if we were in the city, there would be less chance of being robbed,? Rannos said impatiently, setting off towards the distant city.
?I wouldn?t be so sure of that,? said Gyrin quietly, speeding up to keep pace with Rannos, ?some of the worst thieves lurk in the shadows of cities, large or small. As for roads, they?re a perfect place for an ambush.?
Rannos became quieter after that, choosing to fall back into step with the others. He felt that they were overreacting, but it never hurt to be careful. Since Gyrin had given him that warning, Rannos felt on edge and nervous. His eyes were shifting to the sides of the road involuntarily. They traveled the rest of the way in silence, warily watching the trees.
As they reached the city?s outer perimeter, they were stopped by a small contingent of guards. They were all dressed in full armor with a long sword held before them. Their shields bore a large sword split at the end upon a dark green background, the official symbol of the city, Rannos surmised. The guards stopped three feet from them and held their swords high in front of them. One guard stepped forward and addressed them.
?Who are you, and what is your business here?? he asked, driving his sword point down into the ground in front of him and crossing his arms across his chest. Rannos was unsurprised by the guard?s suspicion; they had been fighting through the night and must have looked terrible.
Rannos reached slowly into his bag, keeping the opening towards the guard so that he could see what was being pulled out.
?We have this agreement with the guardian, to kill the nearby tribe of snagorths,? Rannos said, holding up a large, much wrinkled, piece of parchment bearing the cities seal.
The guard stepped forward and scrutinized the seal. He grabbed a monocle from a small pocket within his armor. He held it to his eye and stared at the parchment a moment longer before ushering them in.
?You are to go directly to the guardian?s manor. He will meet with you once you have had a chance to rest and be fed. Is this understood?? the guard fixed Rannos with an icy stare.
?Understood,? said Rannos, turning back to his companions. They all nodded and they set off through the town, weeding their way between tightly packed houses. After a short time of walking, they came upon the finer part of the city; where large houses and rich merchants were common. Here would also lay the guardians manor.
?Wait here for a moment,? said Gyrin, taking his spear from his back and leaning it against a nearby wall. He then pulled out a long, black rope that seemed to writhe at one end as if it were alive. He started swinging it in a tight, slow circle, and released it at the top of its swing. It flew upwards and grabbed hold of the roof of a building, and clung there.
Gyrin tugged the rope twice sharply, and started to climb it. He scaled the side of the building quickly, and was soon sitting on top of the house. Rannos saw him stand up and look around for a couple moments before he leapt to the ground. Gyrin hit the ground hard and rolled for a couple feet before he stopped, struggling to get up.
?What?s up there?? Kojaan asked, helping Gyrin to stand up.
?Not much. The guardian?s house is over that way,? Gyrin pointed to the north, dusting himself off,?and let that be a lesson to me about jumping off of buildings.?
Chuckling, the small band made its way toward the large building in the distance. It wasn?t very far off, so they soon reached the large building with large green banners bearing the cities seal. They walked quickly up to the door, and were met, once again, by a guard.
?Let me guess?..state our name and business?? Rannos asked, his voice dripping with sarcasm.
?I don?t appreciate your tone,? the guard said icily, narrowing his eyes at Rannos.
?Rannos??? Kojaan said threateningly, giving him a warning glare. Rannos shrugged apologetically, as Kojaan continued.
?We had an agreement with the guardian; to kill the snagorth tribe.?
?Alright then, you may enter,? the guard said, stepping aside and opening the large manor door. As it swung open, Rannos leaned forward; peering into the prevailing darkness around the chamber.
?Why is it so dark in??Rannos started, but he was cut off by the door slamming behind him.
?What!? What is this?? Draan said. Rannos heard a rustling of cloaks, which he could only assume was Draan pulling out his sword.
?I like this not??? Traan said, also pulling out a sword.
Rannos was about to draw his own, but he never had a chance to. Suddenly, many lights came on all about them. Rannos saw that he stood in the center of a large room, surrounded by now flickering torches. Directly in front of them stood a tall, stately seeming man with a bushy white mustache. He looked to be old, but his muscles were firm. He wore a simple green tunic that was belted at the waist. He leaned upon a jewel-encrusted sword.
?Ah. I see that you have finally returned. I trust that those pests are taken care of?? the guardian asked, raising one eyebrow inquisitively.
Rannos snorted. Calling thirty of those creatures a pest was hardly fitting. They were shaped as snakes, but had arms and claws that could tear a man?s throat out. Add to that the fact that they could fly as well as any bird, and you had a deadly combination. Before Rannos could air his opinions on what the guardian had said, Kojaan replied.
?Yes, we have killed the snagorths. I trust that you have prepared our payment????
?Yes, yes, of course,? the guardian said, waving his hand dismissively. Five bags appeared upon the ground; one in front of each of the adventurers. Draan and Traan quickly sheathed their weapons and leapt upon their sacks. Rannos leaned down and picked his up. He untied the string keeping his shut and looked inside tentatively. He smiled at what he saw: A sack literally bulging with gold coins.
?Perfect,? Rannos said, ?well, now that we have our payment, I suppose that we?ll be off, then?..?
?Also, in thanks for your help, I have reserved you all rooms in my favorite
tavern: The Jagged Blade,? the guardian told them. He then proceeded to give directions to the tavern.
?Well?.thank you,? Rannos said, turning to his companions, ?are we finished here??
?I?..suppose so,? said Gyrin, shouldering his payment and heading for the door.
?We, as well,? Traan and Draan said together.
?Let?s go to that tavern, then,? Kojaan said, turning toward the door of the building.
Rannos yawned. He had been slightly energized by the adrenaline of the guardian?s entrance, but Rannos?s eyes were beginning to droop; he was afraid that he would fall asleep where he stood. Walking slowly out of the manor, Rannos started towards the Jagged Blade. He saw a large, orange sword off in the distance; near the poorer district.
After walking for a time in a half-awake trance, Rannos came upon the tavern. Rannos could see why they had gotten in for free. It was one of the most run-down taverns that he had ever seen. Rannos sighed and walked in, anyway; hoping that at least their water would be clean enough to bathe in.

[Guest MangaFreak]

Well? Go on, Go on! Its awsome and i'm driven to hear more! Please continue! You have to keep this updated ok? till then, I'll run and get popcorn
But its awsome!