Ego Trip or Necessary Help?

[Brasil]

We've all had our fair share of personal scares and very disturbing experiences with people we know, but where is the line where you must get someone help? At what point, I suppose I'm asking, do you stop and say, "Okay, this has gone too far. You need professional help."? I ask because I am at that point now, today.

I'm not going to go into the gory details, because frankly, they're far from appropriate to post here. If you'd like, IM or PM me and I'll link you.

With that said, however, I have a former friend whose mental health over the years has rapidly deteriorated, especially over the past six months. She has become increasingly angry and violent, though not physically violent, and for this I am incredibly thankful, because I fear that if she were to get physically violent, her first targets may be herself, myself, or my significant other, and that's a risk I am totally unwilling to take.

She has just...gone off the deep end, I guess. Her journal looks like pure hate-mail, but not of the racist type. It's like she just hates everyone, no matter who they are. I suppose she's been like that all along...totally unable to distinguish between the skinny blonde sluts in high school and an intelligent and beautiful actress, you know?

But she refuses to admit she has a problem, but clearly, she does have a problem. I'm worried that her only remaining friend is of no help, because she can't pull herself away to look at things objectively and realize that if she honestly cared about the friend, she'd help her get the help that she needs. I don't think her parents will help, either, as she's surely painted the past six months in a way so that I'm put in the worst color possible.

So...who do I turn to now? She needs help. I'm contacting a psychiatrist I know, who treated me a few years back, but as I contact him, I can't help but think that I'm doing it for the wrong reasons...like the Subject Line says, Ego Trip or Necessary Help.

But based on what you've read here, is it an Ego Trip or am I simply taking action when action needs to be taken, regardless of who wants it or agrees with it?

[Angelus_Necare]

It all really depends on why you're contacting this psychiatrist.

If it's just something you're doing to make yourself feel better then perhaps it is an ego trip.

But if you truly are worried about your friend's well being, and you don't want to see her go furthur down the path she's on, then you are really doing what's best.

I think she is lucky to have someone like you who actualy cares, and by the sounds of it, she may be in need of help.

[Muad'Dib]

[FONT=Palatino Linotype][COLOR=DarkOliveGreen]I'd just like to say, regardless of your reasons, she does sound like she needs proffessional help. In the nicest way possible of course. When someone gets to the point she's at, somone's got to take action. It sounds corny but... well, you know.

You said yourself you were concerned for your own well being, because she may turn violent if it continues. That may be half the reason you're getting her help, but I think that you really do care about her. Who wouldn't try and help someone like your former friend? Honestly, even if someone has the best intentions in mind, their own health is always at the heart of their concerns. It's human nature.

I wouldn't stress out about your reasons, and just get her the help she needs.[/COLOR][/FONT]

[Godelsensei]

[COLOR=Gray][FONT=Courier New]Oh boy, there are two of those people on the world, I guess, because I know your friend's mental twin.

We did end up getting her into discussions with guidance councelors and she started going to a psychologist, but that didn't really help.

Often the person involved is just looking to be a victim of everything because they want attention.

She either needs a serious reality check or she has some kind of [i]real[/i] dissorder.

I guess I didn't help much, but PM me if you want to know more about what I went through and what I did to try and help my friend.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[MissWem]

If it has been this much of a long term problem then do something about it. Or else it gets dragged on and on and then you'll start second guessing yourself wondering whether or not you should've done something earlier.

Seriously if you're going to look at it in the most cynical way possible, (something I'm very fond of doing) then yes, you are going on an ego trip to help this girl.

It's an ego trip because she's a bothersome problem to you and you want to remove that problem. By getting help for this problem you feel better because something is being done about it. Other people will thank you for doing something about it, whether or not they verbally thank you is different. But you'll feel better anyway. Ultimately if she does get better then she'll have you to thank for helping her. Otherwise known as being a Good Samaritan or charity.

My opinion is that I'd help her anyway before she passes the point where going back is just as painful as falling in deeper. Although like Godelsensei has said, if she's doing it for attention like many "Angsty/angry teens" of today *rolls eyes* then she'll probably shun the psychiatric help and hate you for it and accuse you of the entire ego trip thing..

If it's really that bad then getting someone else to take the responsibility can't make it much worse.

[The_Ghost]

[quote name='Godelsensei][COLOR=Gray][FONT=Courier New]Oh boy, there are two of those people on the world, I guess, because I know your friend's mental twin.[/FONT'][/COLOR][/quote]

Make that triplets. Kind of ironic, really, a friend of mine is going through the exact same thing. She's maybe not as angry (or better at hiding it-something we have in common) but she's cutting herself a lot. She got caught for it two weeks ago, and she was sent to a hospital and now she sees a therapist.

I always felt really bad, first of all because I didn't want to narc on her, even though that's probably what she needed. (I didn't narc, by the way, it was a "unnamed friend" :huh: ) Also, she and I are big competitors in music, and she hasn't talked to me since the "incident" and I'm worried that she hates me and I'm part of the reason she's stressing out. I mean, we've always been in friendly competition, but sometimes it got pretty catty. Ok, more than catty. We'd start screaming at each other. Or snipe behind each others backs. With friends like these, who needs enemies! ;)

She's also got some stuff going on at home, and I wish she'd talk to me about it, but apparently she and my other three friends are too "cool" for me or something, because they never talk to me. They act like I don't exist and its making me so frustrated. GRR!!!

Sorry, got a little off topic. Personally, I think if your friend is getting really bad you are doing the right thing. We got a teacher involved, but a therapist is good too. The most important thing is to get your friend better. Also, If your worried about the ego trip, just don't let anyone else know you were the one that helped. That way, you don't get the glory, defeating the ego trip.

Hope your friend gets better!