Writing Pain And Sorrow [E]

[Inuyasha Fandom]

What a pain,
Such a pain
Some one help me....
Let me die.

Why am i so hurt?
Free me from my sorrow.
Death is what I wish for,
Death will bring me peace.

Sorow latches on,
Gripping us,
And never ceaces,
untill our final breath,
When death sweeps it all away.

Do I want to die?
Why am I so sad?
Is it really all that painful?
Why do I bear all of this on ly own?
It doesn't make any sense.

Why, why ,why?

Some one....
Some one stay with me.
Untill I'm not alone.
Untill my sorrow is no more.

Some one please help me.......

I want to beleive sorrow vanishes,
Like the rain.
Like the rain,
It eventually retreats.

But why do I live alone in sorrow?
I do not understand.

Will it drown me,
This sorrow,
This saddness,
This pain?

Some one heplp me...
Some one stay with me.
Some one stand by my side,
Untill I know my sorrows are no more,
Untill I know I'm not alone.

I so wish to beleive
That there is no sorrow that never ceases.
Please help me learn that.

Oh how I wish to beleive........

I don't know what to do anymore.
I've lost my way in life,
I've no real direction to go.

I know how painful it is,
To live a life,
Hurting others and being hurt too.

I am lost,
I just want to die.

Do I really desire death?
Is it worth dying to escape the pain?
My pain,
My sorrow,
They are so truely great.

Some one, please........
Help me.

My destiny has been sent in motion,
But is it to salvation,
Or is it to desacration?
Which path will my heart take me?
What does my heart desire?

Now, let me be,
But don't leave me,
I can't escape myself.

I am alone,
I am tough.
It's painful,
To always be alone.
I know it all to well.

No one sees my true pain,
No one sees my true sorrow,
I hide it all too well.

This world caused my sorrow.
Tgis world is filled with sorrow,
To end it,
There must be annilation.
Annilation of my self.

I won't feel the pain anymore,
This pain of life,
The pain won't exist.
But, is it my wish to stop my pain?
Do I wish to feel to know i live?

What is my wish?
What is my desire?
What is in my heart?

I torture myself,
For not living,
And not dying,
As I know i deserve to.
Slowly I destroy my self.

I do not understand my self.

Someone,
Someone please.....
Someone, please help me.

Stop the life,
Stoip the pain.

Why am i so hurt?
Why am I so sad?
Why do i suffer alone?

This life and this pain,
Or a cold oblivion?
Which do I dare choose?

Would death bring me peace?
Or will it be a nightmare?
Will I pay for life?
I am tortured by my own questions.

Stop the pain,
But never stop the life.....
Life is precious,
I see that now.....

Life may be a gift,
A precious,precious gift,
But it is my curse.
It is no gift to me.

All life brings me is pain,
All life is is hurt,
All life is is sacrifice.

I hurt,
I feel pain,
Can I face the pain and sorrows of others?
Can I truely feel the pain and sorrow?

I am pain,
I am sorrow,
It over comes me,
It tries to drown me.

But I will work hard
To bring happiness to those I love.

[wiccansamurai]

This was really dull. Rhythm needs work, and the topic was really juvenile. Why do you feel this? Make the reader feel it as well! Put an image, a sound, a scent, anything in the readers mind. Otherwise, it's just not a succesful piece. It has no structure, no meaning, no emotion. Put some work into it and revise it.

Oh, and spell check is your friend.

[Inuyasha Fandom]

this poem is raw, real fresh. I'm editing it now, I wanted to show this one off fresh from my mind.

[wiccansamurai]

Well, good, then. I hope you'll keep what I said in mind. Have fun rewriting it. That's one of my favorite parts of poetry, rewriting. But I'm just odd.

Anyway, post up your next draft once you're done.