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Sadness..... [E]


Persona
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[COLOR=DarkRed]Don't let sadddness get to you..........


If she has no soul,
Why does she cry
Noone ever noticed
To even ask why

Or so she thought

Wanting to spread her wings
The only thing beautiful

Sadly, she couldn't be free
Her wings weren't ready to let go

So much pain
That she couldn't even notice
It was she who kept herself
In shadows

Noone noticed how souless she was
They were to busy dealing
With what was there

Her sanctuary was her mind
But her mind couldn't help
Her escape at all
For the mind itself was lost

Once she tried to let go
Caught herself gazing
What was beneath...the ground
But her wings still
Coudn't let go

Had no choice but to hold back in
Days passed and nobody
Seemed to notice
That all along she was
A suoless body

She found herself again
Doing something else

Standing in front of the mirror
Daring not to see

Couldn't bare the fact
That she couldn't let go

One day she'll stare
At her reflection
And face the truth

That it was her all along
Who lost hope in herself

Sadly, that day never came.

SadAngel[/COLOR]
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[COLOR=SlateGray][SIZE=1]I like your writing style. Over looking two minor spelling and grammar errors, you've done a great job at catching the flow. And allowing it all to fall together with in the main phases.

But there is one line with, annoys me. The line:

[i]"She wanted to spread her wings
The only thing ever beautiful about her"[/i]

Breaks done certain parts that are further in the poem. In my personal opinion, it's hurting the foundation a bit. It think that those two lines could be shortened. Or the second line [i]"The only thing ever beautiful about her."[/i] could maybe be rephrased.

Other then this, I think it's wonderfully done.[/SIZE][/COLOR]
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