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[quote name='Inuyasha Fandom']My boyfreind commited suicide........ I don't know what to do........ Was it my fault????? Was it because i wasn't there on friday?????[/quote]

No offense to your boyfriend,but he is an ***.Suicide is being selfish.You don't think about the people around you,how they'll feel.Mostly guilt,like you.Its not your fault.

Its not your fault.

Obviously there was something else that was more serious going on in their head. Something you did might have upset the person,but for someone to end their life they would obviously have to have a very good reason.One person really can't make someone think their life isnt worth living.


You know you love me.
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[COLOR=Indigo]Well first off I guess I'll start by saying I'm sorry. I know what its like to go through a death, and also a suicide and it really really really sucks. So in a way I know what you are going through (my best friend killed himself earlier this year) although I know I can't possibly know exactly what you are going through.

As mean as it sounds, you have to continue on. Your boyfriend chose to end his life for a reason, be it good or bad, but he didn't chose to end yours. Keep on living, if you truly cared for him, let his beauty shine through you. Let everything good about him live through you.

Thats the best advice I can really give you, because theres no way to tell you to get over it, time will heal your wounds, or atleast mend them.

I really am sorry you have to go through this, but good luck in any case. If you need someone to talk to, feel free to PM me, or e-mail me, or IM me, or whatever. Just if you need to talk, talk. Don't let it stay contained.[/COLOR]
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I know this may seem a bit off the wagon but well your life is just really full of angst now isn't it and one thing keps happening after the other always dealing with your boyfriend...

Now as I get back on you shouldn't balme yourself at all because it's just wrong... If anything you should blame him for killing himself... Like the other person said suicide is a very selfsh act and all you can really do is watch from the sidelines... Also maybe he was just trying to get attention and really didn't mean to kill himself my friend got seriously hurt pulling a stunt like that.... so just think about it....
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[SIZE=1][COLOR=Teal]Like Deed said, your not the only one trying to get over the death of a friend.

There is nothing more that I can say to you that no one else on this thread has said or hinted at, but I will say this; that death happens and when it does you just have pull yourself up and live on. Lalaith Ril put it perfectly, 'if you truly cared for him, let his beauty shine through you. Let everything good about him live through you.'
Another I will add is that you should never forget him and always remember the good inside his soul and the spirit that he had. Let that be an example and a beacon in your life as you continue to live.

Just remember to remember him...[/COLOR][/SIZE]
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I'm having trouble establishing a time-line here. I know a sequence of events would help me in helping you, so...I'm figuring that your thread from the other day, the one where you explained your predicament about having a crush on Will and Shane, has something to do with this thread?

[url="http://www.otakuboards.com/showthread.php?t=42704"][u]Here's the "Crush" thread[/u][/url]

I'm really having trouble here, lol. It shows you posted in that thread last earlier today, then had a post yesterday, then posted on Sept 25th. It looks like at that point, you still weren't in a relationship, but...now you post and your boyfriend has committed suicide?

You're mentioning something about not being there Friday, and I can only assume you meant October 1st or September 24th, but if it were October 1st, wouldn't you have mentioned something in the "Crush" thread about not being there?

From your most recent post today there, I can't tell if you talked to him or not, or when you would have talked to him, and on what day, and if it may have been a Friday. I'm reading that thread again, and it doesn't sound like you talked to them at all.

So...could you provide a time-line here, please? I'm confused.

I'm comparing the post dates and times, as well, and your last post in the other thread was at 3:34 pm today, and you started this thread at 3:36 pm today. Two minutes doesn't seem like enough time to be told that your boyfriend committed suicide, and to post about it, because I'm positive those who told you wouldn't give you the two minutes to do anything on your computer. Also, it doesn't seem like you had a boyfriend at that point, and the day before it.

Now I'm seriously confused.
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[QUOTE=Siren]I'm having trouble establishing a time-line here. I know a sequence of events would help me in helping you, so...I'm figuring that your thread from the other day, the one where you explained your predicament about having a crush on Will and Shane, has something to do with this thread?

[url="http://www.otakuboards.com/showthread.php?t=42704"][u]Here's the "Crush" thread[/u][/url]

I'm really having trouble here, lol. It shows you posted in that thread last earlier today, then had a post yesterday, then posted on Sept 25th. It looks like at that point, you still weren't in a relationship, but...now you post and your boyfriend has committed suicide?

You're mentioning something about not being there Friday, and I can only assume you meant October 1st or September 24th, but if it were October 1st, wouldn't you have mentioned something in the "Crush" thread about not being there?

From your most recent post today there, I can't tell if you talked to him or not, or when you would have talked to him, and on what day, and if it may have been a Friday. I'm reading that thread again, and it doesn't sound like you talked to them at all.

So...could you provide a time-line here, please? I'm confused.

I'm comparing the post dates and times, as well, and your last post in the other thread was at 3:34 pm today, and you started this thread at 3:36 pm today. Two minutes doesn't seem like enough time to be told that your boyfriend committed suicide, and to post about it, because I'm positive those who told you wouldn't give you the two minutes to do anything on your computer. Also, it doesn't seem like you had a boyfriend at that point, and the day before it.

Now I'm seriously confused.[/QUOTE]
Well done.
I'm interested in what he will say now.
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I learned about it over the weekend. I didn't know about it untill sunday. And as for Will and Shane, Derek was one reason i was afraid to tell them.


perhaps i should explain my emotional structure??? I try to hide everything, and then it all bursts forth..... I get all wrapped up in things and then i hack on my wrists.

And if you don't beleive me, that's your problem. I really don't care, suicide looks good to me right now as well.
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My suggestion is to seek professional help. Find a counselor who can help you deal with your problems one-on-one versus seeking help on a message board of anime fans.

Take care and hope you can work though this difficult time in your life. Suicide is not the answer, please seek professional help.
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[quote name='Inuyasha Fandom']I learned about it over the weekend. I didn't know about it untill sunday. And as for Will and Shane, Derek was one reason i was afraid to tell them.[/quote]
Which weekend, though? I'm still not seeing how these dates and times synch-up. I'm assuming you meant this past weekend, which was the weekend of October 1st. That Saturday would be the 2nd, and Sunday would be the 3rd. Apart from looking at the calendar, I know this because I attended a local food/music festival held every first weekend in October.

Now, you say you found out about it Sunday. Why is there no mention of that at all in your Monday, Oct 4th posts in the other thread? If you had found out about it on October 3rd, wouldn't you have said something about it in your post on October 4th? Specifically, I'm looking at the following:

[quote][img]http://www.otakuboards.com/images/liquid/statusicon/post_old.gif[/img] 10-04-2004, 11:59 AM
[url="http://www.otakuboards.com/member.php?u=7055"]Inuyasha Fandom[/url] [img]http://www.otakuboards.com/images/liquid/statusicon/user_online.gif[/img] vbmenu_register("postmenu_610649", true);
Member
The Angel of Sorrowed Dreams


[url="http://www.otakuboards.com/member.php?u=7055"][img]http://www.otakuboards.com/images/avatars/Inuyasha_Inuyasha.jpg[/img][/url] Will knows i like him, yes, but he is completely unaware i like Shane as well, though definitely not as much. Will is also completely unaware of just how much he himself means to me.
[/quote]
You're talking about both of them as if they're still alive and well. In fact, you're talking about them in present tense, meaning, not referring to them in [i]past[/i] tense, meaning, they're still alive, if they even existed to begin with.

If you had found out about it on Sunday, why do you post about it on October 5th, an entire two days after you found out, and two minutes after your last post in your other thread, a thread that spans over the few days after Sunday, where there is no mention at all of a suicide?

And...your post (which is dated October 5th) at the start of this thread has the "I just found out about it this second" type of feeling, similar to the posts in the 9/11 thread back in 2001.

I'm not trying to be an -ss here, I'm seriously not. I just am having an incredibly hard time understanding this time-line suggested by the post dates and times, which can't be altered.
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[quote name='Inuyasha Fandom']My boyfreind commited suicide........ I don't know what to do........ Was it my fault????? Was it because i wasn't there on friday?????[/quote]
Don't blame yourself...It was his decision ...There was nothing you could do...,You just have to move on now...be strong...I am sorry...
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I'm just making sure I've got everything here.

Okay, so Derek is your boyfriend. You've been dating how long? There was a mention of a "friend" in one of your posts in the other thread, but no mention made about Derek. If the "friend" you mentioned was Derek, your boyfriend, why didn't you say, "Derek, my boyfriend?" It doesn't make sense to me.

And, two days after you found out, then you explode? I can't believe that parents aren't getting involved here. I mean, trauma like this and it sounds like there's nothing being done? Even in an attempt, there are major, major actions taken by mental health agencies...required psychiatric counseling for those affected directly...evaluations, meetings...none of this is happening?

And...your post was at 3:36 pm, on a Tuesday, which is within working hours for most emergency wards. At the hospital I work for, they have 24-hour coverage for those types of emergencies.

It sounds like there's nothing being done, either by parents or by professionals, and...pardon me for saying so, but that's unheard of.

I'm not attacking you here, but there are still a lot of hazy areas.
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[QUOTE=Inuyasha Fandom]
And if you don't beleive me, that's your problem. I really don't care, suicide looks good to me right now as well.[/QUOTE]

Do it. I DARE you.

Oh, but a game might cheer you up.

I'm thinking of a word that starts with 'F' and ends with 'D'. It rhymes with "BROAD".
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I agree with Siren. I think the issue may be more of you are considering suicide yourself and want to get feedback on the issue. If this is something you are considering, you need someone to confide in and talk to about your feelings.

Killing yourself is just an easy way out. You've got to find a way to surpass it, to be stronger than that.
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fine. **** all of you. You don't know me, yet you judge me. You don't know how i was raised, you don't know what i was taught. You have no idea what i have to go through, everyday. **** YOU AND GO TO HELL.


No one can really know me, and I don't care anymore. You think I'm a fraud??? Let me tell you this:


Emotions are weakness in action, people take advantage of this weakness, and get you to do whatever they want, and this leads to more emotions, which is more weakness and trauma. It is this truth that has led me through life. Only Will has ever seen me cry, as has Derek. You really don't know me, and i can't explain the depths of all the **** i have gone though. You'd be just like me, too, if you had. So **** all of you.
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[QUOTE=Inuyasha Fandom]fine. **** all of you. You don't know me, yet you judge me. You don't know how i was raised, you don't know what i was taught. You have no idea what i have to go through, everyday. **** YOU AND GO TO HELL.


No one can really know me, and I don't care anymore. You think I'm a fraud??? Let me tell you this:


Emotions are weakness in action, people take advantage of this weakness, and get you to do whatever they want, and this leads to more emotions, which is more weakness and trauma. It is this truth that has led me through life. Only Will has ever seen me cry, as has Derek. You really don't know me, and i can't explain the depths of all the **** i have gone though. You'd be just like me, too, if you had. So **** all of you.[/QUOTE]

If you don't want people to judge you,don't post your feelings on the internet. :(
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