Writing How to Learn Engrish [PG]

[Godelsensei]

[COLOR=Gray][FONT=Courier New]This is the first of a series of short pieces I plan on writing about a couple of characters you'll meet if you read this post in its entirety.
I've never lived in Japan, of course, so I can't give you a 100% accurate reprisentation of Japanese society. (I've read many books about Japan that take place a few hundred years ago, and the rest of my knowledge comes from comic books, anime, and stereotypes. Psh.)

Yeah, so quit being a purist and enjoy. (I'll leave the story part in verdana, as it tends to be easier to look at in large quantities than Courier New in grey.)[/FONT][/COLOR]

Toue Nobuhiro was not a tall man. In fact, he was quite short, a fact he blamed primarily (if not entirely) on his Japanese heritage. He had never been made acutely aware of his lack of height (for his head only reached five feet, seven inches higher than the ground) until now, however.

Nobuhiro had been born and raised in a small village in rural Japan. He had failed every English class and exam he?d ever taken, and could not say or understand more of it than any newborn baby. He had never really watched very many movies, having grown up without electricity, and rarely read. He was too caught up in spending countless hours on end every week inking other people?s weekly comics.
Nobuhiro drew backgrounds for a living, and this fact had eventually led to him, for the first time in his life, realizing how short he was.

The woman was taller than him by several inches, something that could not have been very drastically assisted by her flat-bottomed flip-flops. Her hair was a shade of purple that would have gotten a student all but expelled from any respectable Japanese school, and she had several holes through various parts of her face.
The tank top she was wearing revealed rather a lot of cleavage, and he found he had little to say to her but ?Ano?ohiyogouzaimasu.?

She nodded her own greeting and turned back to the man he had come to ask a rather important work-related question of. He was momentarily surprised by her rudeness, then recalled her still-visible white skin and round eyes that were facing away from him, and shoved his hands into his pockets. Amerika-jin yo, he thought: She must be an American.

After several minutes had passed, Watanabe-sensei apologized to him for keeping him waiting and the woman left, a yellow envelope under her arm.
?I?m sorry for bothering you at home, but you weren?t answering your phone, you see?? Nobuhiro trailed off, glancing towards the door briefly before looking back at the older man in front of him.

?I?ve been having problems with that. It seems a custodian cut my phone-line when he was repairing something.?
Nobuhiro asked his question eventually and left, having refused the offer of something to drink. There were bags under the mangaka?s eyes: Give the man some peace, he thought.

Just as Nobuhiro was about to enter the elevator, the lights flickered. He glanced upwards in surprise, only to watch them fade out again. They did not come back to life, and neither did the hum of the air-conditioning. A young girl poked her head out of a door, looked both ways down the hall, then called back inside.
?The hall lights are off, too! Is the phone working??

Nobuhiro decided he would not step into the elevator, the doors of which were still wide open, trying to be inviting.

He followed the signs that directed him towards the stairs. He passed Watanabe?s apartment on the way, and considered asking him if his phone was working, but left the idea behind after deciding it would be too mean on his part.

The stairwell was dark. Very dark. But for the basically useless emergency lights that lined the steps at even, ten-meter-or-so intervals, one would have thought it was the third Word War, and the city was trying to avoid being seen from the air.
Nevertheless, he took a step forward.

Whether it was the mostly-dark or his shoes that were half a size too big or the fact that he wasn?t paying attention, the next conscious thought the rather short man had was, Why am I lying in a position that must be doing awful things to my joints and why at the bottom of a poorly-lit stairwell, of all places?

He heard the slap-thud of a person in flat-bottomed sandals with only one strap, bound towards the front of the shoe, hurrying down stairs.
?Daijoubu desu ka?!?

He glanced upwards while trying to lift himself back to his feet from his rather precarious position at the edge of another series of steps by propping himself up, onto his left arm, but failed. ?Shi-shimatta?!? Pain scorched through his forearm and he gave up on trying to get up again, for fear he might actually fall down the second flight of stairs the third collapse around.

The woman was squatting next to him, asking if he needed help in accented but flawless Japanese. ?Oh, why am I asking? Look at your wrist! That?s just plain gross.?

Nobuhiro missed all of this, as it was in what may or may not have been English, but, indeed, his wrist was twisted in a way that would have sent all but the strongest stomach into a violent state of relieving itself of its contents by the same passage it attained it.

?I?m going to get you a doctor,? she said, sternly. Then, as an after thought, she added, ?Isha,? presumably so he would know what she was going on about, patted his if-not-unscathed-less-so arm gently with the tips of her fingers, and stood up.
Apparently, some one?s phone was working, as a few men showed up shortly to see if he was crippled for life and to carry him away on a stretcher.

Thankful that the power had only gone out in two buildings?undoubtedly thanks to the shoddy work of another (or perhaps the same) custodian?Nobuhiro put on a pot of coffee with his awkward right hand.
He let his eyes wonder towards the photograph of he and his sister at a restaurant in Kyoto?taken on her birthday?and smiled faintly.
Then the doorbell rang, and he jumped.

[COLOR=Gray][FONT=Courier New]I'll be updating this every few days or so, ideally. If any one cares for it, that is.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[Mimmsicle]

[FONT=Verdana][SIZE=1][COLOR=Navy]This is a great start ! You have a knack for drawing in a readers attention and holding onto it, without making it seem like an effort on your part. Magnetic, I believe would be the best way to describe it.

In any case, I look forward to reading more ^_^[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[Arcadia]

[size=1]Yes yes, definitely keep going. Your writing style is very natural, almost conversational, which makes it fun to read. I can definitely see this story developing into something incredibly cool, heh, so keep at it.

I for one would like to know why the crazy American woman is there. ^_~[/size]

[Godelsensei]

[COLOR=Gray][FONT=Courier New]Here's chapter two.

I'm not very good at dialogue, so sorry if this is rather stiff and overwhelmingly...boring.[/FONT][/COLOR]

The bar smelled of cigarette smoke, so she decided that they would sit outside. Nobuhiro, not caring, agreed.

Then, as they considered what drinks they might order, he realized something. ?You haven?t told me your name yet.?

Her eyebrows knit the slightest bit together and she laughed a little. ?I guess I haven?t.? Then, she extended a hand across the table, which he shook, and continued: ?My name is?Winnie.? She paused. ?Winnie Montgomery. Yoroshiku.?
?Yoroshiku. You know my name, I think.?
?Toue Nobuhiro.?

He nodded in response and turned to give the waiter their drink orders. They came quickly. ?So, Winnie-san, what?re you doing in Japan??
?Living, mostly.? She took a sip of her drink and turned her gaze towards the street. Even though it was nearly midnight now, there were still many, many people out, doing pretty much everything they?d do during the day, except maybe going to work. ?I?m in the place two doors down from Takashi-san. I moved there a couple of weeks ago; I?m still getting settled in, but it?s not like I?m unused to big cities.?
?You?re from a big metropolis, then??
?Biggest in the country.? She smiled over the rim of her beer mug.
?New York??
?No! You didn?t honestly think I was American, did you?? An expression of annoyance crossed her face briefly, then she smiled again. ?I?m Canadian. I?m from Toronto.?
?Ahh. Kanada-jin desu ka? Naruhodo. Is it as cold as they say??
?Only with wind-chill. Thanks to Global Warming, the weather fluctuates a lot, anyway. You work with Takashi-san??
?Yeah.? He smiled awkwardly. ?I draw?backgrounds.?
?You must have a lot of fans, then.?
?Not really. It isn?t like any one knows what I look like.?
?Well, I?m sure you have lots of fans who are vaguely aware you exist, then. Backgrounds are very important, after all. I have friends who would be very jealous to know I live next door to a real mangaka and went drinking with one of his assistants.?

Nobuhiro raised an eyebrow, taken aback. ?Why? Are your friends ten-year-olds??
?No, they?re gai-jin. You?d be surprised.? She smirked a smirk that gave the impression of a very subtle wink: thus, the smirk made him feel the slightest bit uncomfortable. He blinked a couple of times before speaking again.

?So?what do you do, then??
?Aside from go drinking? Eh. I guess you could say I?m an author. I have a couple of books published?in English, of course.?
?That?s too bad?I don?t speak English.?
?Not a word??
?Not a word.?
?That?s funny; I thought it was a compulsory subject in school here??
?It is. That doesn?t mean I learned any.?

?Ahh.? He thought he detected a hint of disappointment in her voice or face, or possibly both, but was unsure. ?Takashi-san speaks English. That?s probably why we became friends so quickly; it?s nice having some one to talk to in your own language when you?re away from home. He read one of my manuscripts the other day for me. It?s not finished yet. That was that envelope you might have noticed.?

He nodded; he had noticed, for some reason. Probably because he?d noticed a lot about her in those two or three moments at Watanabe?s apartment, namely the diving neckline of her shirt, but thinking of that made him redden the slightest bit. He looked away, at a store across the street, thankful for the semi-dark?s keeping his emotions somewhat masked. For that was something he was rather bad at.

She was wearing a grey sweater and a streamline green skirt that came down to her knees now, and he was fairly certain she had changed her nose-stud.

?What do you write about, Winnie-san??

?I write plain old, boring fiction books,? she admitted. ?I lost my knack for fantasy a while ago; I don?t know why, really. You read at all??

?Not really, no. I don?t?do much, I guess.? Neither of them said anything for a while, as the contents of their mugs began to diminish at a slightly faster rate. It was as though they had covered all mandatory conversation and didn?t have anything else to discuss
.
He was somehow reminded of times he?d received first instant messages from people he barely knew.

?Hey, want to go hit the arcade??
?What??
?Come on, I haven?t played DDR in ages.?

[COLOR=Gray]
[FONT=Courier New]And here's chapter [i]three[/i]...!!!

I like how this one turned out, even if it's a rather tad cliche. Oh well. : )[/FONT][/COLOR]

[b]"That would be very nice of you, Toue-san."[/b]

Winnie was grinning like a five-years? child on her birthday, or quite possibly Christmas. She hiccupped and giggled, a red flush once again coming over her cheeks and neck. The line she walked in was not quite straight and he found it was better if he led her as far from the street as possible by the elbow every so often.
It was two in the morning and he was regretting having agreed to go anywhere past the first bar.

She had won three games in a row playing Dance Dance Revolution at the nearest arcade, against three different teenagers, all of whom seemed genuinely shocked by her doing so. Then, she had insisted on their hitting another bar, across the street.
Nobuhiro decided it was a good thing they had walked. ?Winnie-san, I do not know whether it is more surprising to me that you were able to drink that much and still be standing, or that you didn?t mind paying for it all.?
She stumbled, but caught herself. ?This is nothing: you should have seen me at my friend?s birthday party last year.? Another, slightly longer, series of giggles. ?I passed out in the middle of her kitchen floor after??
?We?re back at my place now, Winnie-san. Did you notice??
?Yes??

?I don?t think you should drive any more tonight, Winnie-san.? He led her up the steps awkwardly, noticing that she was allowing him to carry more of her weight than any point since he?d had to physically keep her from falling flat on her face. ?You can sleep on my couch, if you don?t mind the mess.?
?That?s good, because I don?t think I should drive anywhere either.? She seated herself, rather clumsily, on the steps leading upstairs as soon as they were inside.

?I?m going to have a bitching headache in the morning.?
?What??
?Oh, nothing.? She massaged her temples with her fingers letting the weight of her head rest on them at the same time. ?Damn?sorry, Toue-san, but do you have anything for a headache??
?Hai, but I think you should drink something first.?
She looked up at him blearily.
?No more alcohol. I?ll make some tea.?
?That would be very nice of you, Toue-san.? He heard her take her shoes off?that is, he heard the gentle thud of them hitting the ground. He had noticed that they had a rather substantial heal to them, which only managed to dwarf him in comparison to her even more.

By the time Winnie had sobered up a little and they were both sitting on the chesterfield, having said very little since arriving back at his home, she noticed a photo on his coffee table. She set her tea down and picked up the framed photo. ?Are these your daughters, Toue-san?? Her voice no longer had the typical drunken slur to it: something that half amazed, half impressed him.

?No, those are my nieces. My sister?s kids.?
?They?re very cute.? She set the picture down again and glanced at the digital clock that sat on a shelf at the other side of the medium-sized room. ?Oh, Christ, Toue-san, I?m sorry. It?s almost four in the morning. Sorry about getting pissed on you like that?it?s sort of a bad habit of mine.?
?That?s okay, I guess.? He finished the remainder of his tea in one larger-than-usual gulp and made his way over to the kitchen. Setting it down in the sink, he said, ?I?m going to bed now. There?s an extra blanket or two in the cupboard under the stairs if you?re cold.?
?Thanks.?

Within minutes, the house was completely dark and silent but for the sound of breathing. Nobuhiro slept with the slightest of smiles on his face.

[PrincessGoneral]

Very good, very good. I like.

It contains three of the most important elements of a story; drinking, DDR, and purple hair.

Keep it comin'. I'm a-hungerin' for some Godel-writin'.

[lea]

*is deeply intrigued*


Aye, I like! Very very much so!

:O

[Mimmsicle]

[FONT=Verdana][SIZE=1][COLOR=Navy]It's good to see that there's no slump in the continuation. Sometimes when the first chapter is really captivating, you get slightly dissapointed with the following story since it might not have the same feel. That's not an issue here ^_^

Personally I think the conversation flowed nicely and wasn't boring in the least. There's a really good balance between talk and description of what's going on (both in their surrounding and ... in their heads o.O).

I also appreciate that you didn't tease us with just one chapter ~_^[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[Godelsensei]

[COLOR=Gray][FONT=Courier New]The title is actually derrived from the name of a short film I saw on Imax a few years ago.

I like how this chapter turned out--I think it does an okay job of introducing a very important person to Nobuhiro, as well as revealing a smidgen more of his personality.

Incidentally, I love the name Junko. : )[/FONT][/COLOR]

The doctor had told him it would take six to eight weeks for his wrist to heal, as long as everything went fine. Watanabe-sensei had told him he needed a break, anyway. Not that he was on paid leave or anything, but it was somehow nice to know that he had a legitimate, obvious excuse for not working for a couple of months.

Nobuhiro sat on the couch Winnie had occupied the night before and stared at the picture she hadn?t noticed on the coffee table. It was slightly smaller than the one of Keiko and Yukari, which he was often glad of, as he never really enjoyed looking at it.
After a few minutes, he sighed and stood up. It was nine-thirty and he had nothing better to do, so he turned off the lights, made his way upstairs, with the intention of going to sleep.

However, upon pulling off his shirt and socks, then sitting down on the bed, he happened to glance at his bedside table.

She had left him her phone-number before she left, on a pink sticky note?produced from the kangaroo pocket of her sweater?in case he ever wanted to go drinking again, or if he ever decided he needed help with learning English. He hadn?t been sure what to make of the adhesive note being stuck carelessly to one of his walls as she walked out, thanking him a few times over, but was rather glad to have it now.
Almost without thinking, he picked it up, letting it adhere itself to the end of one of his fingers, and read through the series of numbers several times before reaching for the phone. It was only nine-forty-five, after all: she was bound to be up.

The phone rang five times (he counted them, letting his gaze drift about the room, never settling in one particular place) before he heard her voice on the other end of the line.

?Moshi moshi??
?Winnie-san, I was just??
?I am not able to come to the phone right now, so sorry. Please leave your name and number.? Then, something in English that he could not understand. Then a beep. The second when he could have left a message asking if she felt like doing anything some time passed. He took a small breath and opened his mouth again. The second passed again, until it became nearly a moment, and he hung up.

He looked at the phone for a few minutes, sitting there, innocently, on the receiver, before crawling between the cooler-than-he-preferred sheets and trying to fall asleep.


When he opened his eyes, a strong beam of sunlight was shining through a gap in the curtains, spilling out on his face and bed sheets. He could hear a dog barking somewhere down the street, and some one was cutting their lawn. Sitting up, he glanced at the clock, to discover it was nearly noon and rather chilly.

Pulling on a sweater, he made his way downstairs, but not without stopping at the bathroom to empty his bladder and brush his teeth. The carpet felt warmer against the soles of his feet than the air did against his face and hands, and his eyes were still partially occupied by the gritty yellow sleep; he had overslept, and was therefore still tired.

He let go a yawn and tripped, missing a step.

Last time he had been lying on his back after falling down a flight of stairs in much the same fashion, some one had shown up and called an ambulance. He didn?t need an ambulance this time, but it would, indeed, have been nice if any one else had been there. He lay there for a few minutes, on the off-white carpet, watching the ceiling for nothing in particular, until his stomach growled and he decided he needed to eat something.

?I figured since you finally have some time off, we ought to do something together, the four of us.? Junko was sitting across from him, next to his younger niece, who was blowing bubbles in her chocolate milk. Her face seemed to have a few more lines than last time he had seen her, something her dark red lipstick no longer managed to draw attention from. It was the only make-up she was wearing, and her hair was cropped chin-length?it was a startling contrast from the last time he had seen her, nearly two months ago.

Her hair had been pulled into a pretty alligator clip at the back of her head then, and mascara had helped to define her longer-than-usual eyelashes. She hadn?t been so tired then, her skin hadn?t sagged ever so slightly from her bones, and she hadn?t spoken in the half-defeated way she did now. His sister was still beautiful, only more conventionally now: she had lost something that made her exciting to be around.

Now, three minutes later, she was clearly holding back tears, giving a vague explanation of the current state of her attempt to get a divorce. She didn?t say anything that her daughters wouldn?t have understood or already known, but he caught more from her words than they did, and it saddened him.

?Sorry, Hiro?you don?t have to worry about this. Shouldn?t anyway.? She put an arm around the four-year-old Yukari and wiped a potential tear from her eye with her knuckle.
?Don?t say that, neesan. Anyway, let?s talk about more cheerful things. It?s Keiko-chan?s birthday in a few days, right??

His niece visibly perked up at hearing this and proceeded to give him all the details of what she was hoping to receive. He wondered at the six-year-old?s ability to be so happy when it was so obvious that her family was falling into tatters, but then he thought she was most definitely hiding her feelings, and humored her.
Lunch was delicious.

[COLOR=Gray][FONT=Courier New]Thanks for all the positive re-enforcement, by the way, guys.^^ Appreciate it.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[PrincessGoneral]

I love your descriptivefullishnessicity. I really do.

Keep up the grood work. ^___^

[MissWem]

[COLOR=DarkRed]*sigh* Godel, you are quite a brilliant fictional writer... I personally would like to have some of that talent. Although it's infintely more interesting that the book I have to read for English, but I don't think it's affecting my opinion...too much

Oh well, keep writing it, I wanna find out what happens!![/COLOR]

[Godelsensei]

[COLOR=Gray][FONT=Courier New]Just a shorty for today. I like this chapter; hope you will, too. : )[/FONT][/COLOR]

There was no visible sign that could have told him Winnie had fallen asleep at her computer, aside from the seemingly endless line of lowercase H?s on the computer screen, a result of her forehead coming into contact with the keyboard when her energy well finally ran dry, when she answered the door to his hesitant knocking a week later.
Despite the blue-black bags under her big, white-person eyes, and the disarray of her brightly coloured hair, she smiled when she opened the door, and invited him in without hesitation.
Her apartment seemed to be full of everything at once. The floor was almost entirely impossible to make out under the mess of empty Ramen bowls, the wrappers from various chocolate-bars, an assortment of socks and sweaters, multiple heavy books in what seemed like more than three or four languages, and just about anything else he could have put his mind to work thinking of, including her underwear. He did his best to avoid looking at that while she fetched them both drinks from the refrigerator.
?I?m sorry to just show up without calling, but I kept getting your answering machine up until last night.? Then, he realized what he had said, reddened and continued with, ?I was just wondering if you wanted to do anything again, since the last time was pretty fun.?
She handed him a can of something he hadn?t drunk since his fourteenth birthday and glanced towards the ceiling, apologetically. ?Oh yes? I?ve been away for a week or so.?
?Where?? She flopped down next to him on the couch, putting her feet up on a pile of magazines on the coffee table. If it hadn?t been for the motion of her feet and their coming to rest where they did, he never would have noticed the pile of Jump comics. Shounen Jump. He wondered if she had them because she was friends with Watanabe-sensei or if it had something to do with what she?d told him about her friends? interest in manga at the bar.
?Oh, my friend got married and didn?t tell me until two days before. I had to jump on the first plane to get there on time? That bastard. I didn?t know they were more than just dating. Shows what you keep track of when you move out of the continent, I guess.? She opened her can, took a long drink, and said, ?They were a pretty cute couple, though. Are. In their matching tuxedoes and everything.? She laughed a bit.
?Matching?? Don?t American brides usually where dresses??
?Canadian. And yes. But there wasn?t an actual bride there.? He blinked at her for a few seconds. ?It was a gay wedding,? she said, setting her drink down. She stood up and stretched, yawning. ?And this is what teaches me not to stay up ?til four in the morning trying to meet deadlines. I?ll probably have to rewrite all of this crap. Ugh.? She swore in what must have been English, and highlighted countless pages of the same letter.
?Oh. I see.? He felt uncomfortable sitting while she was standing, so he walked over to stand next to her, but on the other side of the desk chair. ?Are you busy today, then??
?No, I finished this last night. If my editor doesn?t like it, it?s her fault.? She grinned in a way that almost made him burst out laughing, and hit delete. ?Death to superfluous H?s, I say. Nobody needs them.?
?I suppose not.?
?Hey, Toue-san.?
?Yes, Winnie-san??
?You know Tokyo better than I do, so could you show me around a bit? You know, some cool stores or something? I just know where the grocery store and a bookstore is. And a couple of restaurants.? She looked down at him with a look that said ?Please?? and he nodded.
?Sure. I mean?sure! This will be fun!? He smiled a smile that revealed his teeth, and commented that he hadn?t had one of these drinks since his fourteenth birthday.
?Sou da ka, Toue-san? I just bought a box of the best label I saw yesterday. I?ll meet you in the lobby in forty-five minutes, ?kay? I need to bathe and stuff.?
He nodded and, five minutes later, found himself sitting in the lobby, watching the clock with a mix of happiness and excitement that he never would have expected to have been precipitated by his breaking his wrist falling down a flight of dimly-lit stairs.
[COLOR=Gray][FONT=Courier New]
I wrote this while listening to The Pillow's Back Seat, an song you should run out and download right now. Well, stay seated and download.

I had originally started writing another bit about Hiro-kun and his Neesan, but I think this is more fun; what's Engrish without Winnie, after all? : )[/FONT][/COLOR]

[Iori Yagami]

This is great work!
I wish I could write like you but I need a lot more practice... :(

But back to you, this is great stuff. Keep up the good work.

[Mimmsicle]

[FONT=Verdana][SIZE=1][COLOR=Navy]Hehe, it looks like the guy is slowly coming out of his shell. Could Winnie be the dolphin that will turn the turtle into a shark ? =O

Hrm, ignore that >>

Anyway, your style is lovely and loose. It's wonderful and easy to read, with plenty of entertainment/afterthought intwined in it ^___^

Keep it up ![/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[PainfulLife]

At first I wasn't sure about reading this... but I saw you had so many responses I did... Oh am i so glad I decided to look at this! the story so far is brilliant!!!! ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Keep up the mos excellent work and post up the next chapter soon!!!!!!! Well BUH-BYE for now!!!!! :love:

[MissWem]

[COLOR=DarkRed]oh...damnit...I read it during class but couldn't comment so I was hoping to be the first one to say how great this new chapter was but I was beaten..by about 3 other ppl.. -_-

Oh well..keep writing..must learn more 0_0[/COLOR]

[future girl]

I haven't had a chance to post in this thread, but I have been keepiing up with it and it's superb Godel. Just like something I would expect from you, very witty and clever. I'm especially fond of the title. Good job ^_^

[Godelsensei]

Once again, they were walking down a sidewalk in Tokyo, at some time in the vicinity of two in the morning.
Winnie was clutching an overflowing bag of comics, DVDs, and quite possibly a few other things he hadn?t noticed, to her chest, having somehow rid herself of her sleepiness in its entirety, laughing and smiling at almost everything he said.
They had been talking about his job for a while, and their similarity in having to deal with from-hell editors and various other half-superiors. He had worked on two series before his current job, and had once tried to submit his own manga to the magazine, but it had been rejected: he actually still had it lying around somewhere, gathering dust.
Winnie said she wanted to read it, and proceeded to ask him for all the details concerning it.
It had been a long time since any one had shown any amount of interest in his story or characters, and Nobuhiro found himself detailing more than what he would have even put down on paper for fear of embarrassment. She listened the whole time, nodding and agreeing, and asking questions, which he answered.
?You?re an author, Winnie-san, but how many books have you written? Two??
?Er. Eight or nine, I guess. Every time one gets out, I worry it has less to it than the rest.? She grimaced slightly as they turned down a less-busy street, quite possibly heading for a pleasant little sushi-house he knew of, and a book fell out of her bag.
Immediately, he bent to pick it up, not letting it create a gap in their conversation. ?I?m sure they are all very good. I?m sorry I can?t read English?I?ll have to learn so I can read your stories, Winnie-san.?
?Oh, they?re not that impressive. Just things that come to mind and get expanded on over time. Most of them are pretty weird, anyway. I get a lot of mean-spirited reviews.?
He did his best to place the book in a position from which it would not once-again fall, and insisted that anything she came up with would most definitely be brilliant.
?Not so sure about that. Is that the place we?re looking for?? She jerked her head in the direction of a small restaurant, and he nodded.

?So I guess you could say I?ve never had a real job in my life.? Gingerly, she picked up another piece of sushi between her chopsticks, dipped it in Soya, and ate it. She brushed a piece of rice from her bottom lip and chuckled softly to herself.
?Well, that doesn?t really matter, as long as you?ve got money coming from somewhere, I guess.? He looked over at the painting she was regarding with vague interest. It was abstract, of nothing in particular as far as he could make out, but was entitled ?The Bitter Linguist?. He wondered vaguely if she had any idea what the artist was trying to convey, and would have asked her if their meal hadn?t been interrupted.
?Ah! Nobuhiro-san! Nanda koko ni?? Kochira gai-jin wa?? He visibly flinched at the sound of a familiar voice cutting into their discussion.
Winnie glanced towards the man standing by their table with a look of confusion, looked over at Nobuhiro, then across the room, at something behind him.
?Ano?Kazuna-san. Konbon wa! This is Winnie.?
She looked over, hearing her name, and smiled, dipping her head the slightest bit. She said nothing, however, which managed to surprise him boundlessly.
?Herro, Winnie.? Kazuna?s English was bad, but it was all the same to Nobuhiro. He wondered if his friend had picked any more of the language up of late.
?Hello, friend of Toue-san.?
?Name is Kazuna.? More English.
?Oh, I see: hello, Kazuna.? She took a sip of her drink and looked back towards the painting.
?You guys mind if I join you for a bit, or am I cramping your style?? He grinned as he planted himself next to Winnie, who moved over a couple of centimeters. She looked as though she were wishing she had sat on the aisle half of the booth.
?Um, it?s okay.? Nobuhiro shrugged, having trouble imagining Winnie having any sort of problem with his friend?s presence.
?I?m surprised to see you of all people out late at night. Ano. Early in the morning. Heh. With a gai-jin no onna, no less.? Nobuhiro half-wondered if he ought to tell his friend that she spoke fluent Japanese, but decided against it. It seemed almost as if she had avoided speaking it on purpose, somehow, which confused him to no end. Oh well, he thought, I don?t know Winnie-san all that well, I guess. I wouldn?t know what she?s thinking.
She didn?t say anything for the remainder of the meal, aside from a brief farewell upon their departure.

?Mm. Winnie-san. I was wondering why you didn?t speak Japanese to Kazuna-san. He?s kind of an idiot, but he?s a good guy. Sorry if he offended you.?
?Not so much offended as irritated.? She was carrying the bag by the handles now, as though some of the novelty of new possessions had worn off. ?I don?t like it when people refer to me as ?a gai-jin no onna?, to say the very least.? Nobuhiro considered this.
?Wakarimasu yo. I guess it is quite rude. But this is Japan?people are very much like that here.?
?I know. I just didn?t feel like embarrassing him by knowing what he was saying, either. Like you said, he seems like an okay fellow.?
?He is one. I hadn?t seen him in a while, though. Is his English very good?? Suddenly, she burst out laughing.
?No, Toue-san, it isn?t.?

[COLOR=Gray][FONT=Courier New]At this point, we begin to see a bit more of Winnie's personality developing. She doesn't like being an outsider, I guess.

This sort of wrote itself.^^"

I hope it's up to standard...[/FONT][/COLOR]

[Shinmaru]

I finally stopped being lazy, and decided to comment on the story. Yay!

I like it a lot so far. I've always enjoyed your style of writing (I still have to finish the other story you sent me a while ago...), and I enjoy this quite a bit. There's a lot of humor that I like, and at the same time, it goes a bit deeper with insights into Winnie and Nobuhiro's characters. You blend everything together fairly well.

I'm looking forward to the next part.

[PrincessGoneral]

Ooh, brilliant.

Gotta love that Godel style. So pleasant a read.

[KarmaOfChaos]

[color=deeppink][size=1]Good stuff, Godel! I'm a sucker for interesting characters, and you've definitely got my curosity piqued. Little off-kilter situations like this are great, where completely different characters are thrown together and the author just goes "Well let's see what happens now!"

I eagerly await the next chapter. ;)

-Karma[/size][/color]

[MissWem]

[COLOR=DarkRed]Absolutely adoring the story. And I like how your characters are starting to be more genuine making them easier to believe. I think a really difficult thing to do is to write deeply about more than one character and actually make them two completely different people, without that problem of accidently merging them.

It's all good in my opinion, too bad I don't understand Japanese. But it's only a minor detail since you've clearly made it an obviously unpleasant name to call someone.[/COLOR]

[PainfulLife]

I really love this story! I'm so glad you updte it a lot to! ^_^ Keep up the excellent work and stuff!

[Godelsensei]

?You think maybe she?s a lesbian or something?? They were sitting on the subway, Toru managing to somehow take up three seats, despite his quite possibly being skinnier than his brother was. It had something to do with the way he sat. Nobuhiro thought he would have probably made room for any one else if they had been on the train during rush hour: right now, it was almost empty.
??no.?
?Didn?t you say her friend was gay or something? They have schools for gay people in America, you know. That?s what I heard, anyway.?
?She?s not from America. And I wouldn?t recommend lighting that cigarette while we?re on this train.? His brother scowled and took the thing from his lips, then handed it to him. ?Here. For later.?
Nobuhiro took it. ?You shouldn?t smoke, you know.?
?You do.?
?Hm.? He put it in the pocket at the front of his shirt and leaned back, letting his head softy tap the window. They had just come out of the tunnel, but would re-enter it in a matter of minutes. ?Did you talk to them yet??
?No. Why would I do that??
?Just wondering. So, Dad actually kicked you out of the house for real this time.?
?Hai. It?s none of your business, anyway.? His headphones were emitting noise that Nobuhiro could not identify as anything specific, sitting about his neck, making every one aware of the fact that he didn?t care about noise pollution and whether or not it offended them. He lifted them with the tip of his forefinger in order to pick at a scab that he had somehow sustained there. It was not a big scab.
?How?d you cut yourself??
?Cat scratched me.?
?Her, too, huh??
?Guess so. You talked to Junko, huh??
?Yeah.? His brother turned to look out the window. He was the picture of despondency, Nobuhiro thought. ?I picked up the phone when she called home last night. Remember when Mom made him get a phone??
?Better than you, probably.?
?Yeah, well, she talked to me, and then I told her to find a guy that was less Japanese, less like Dad, and she laughed. But he heard and then he was yelling and telling me to get out of his house. You know, I don?t know how the other two still live in that place.?
?They?re just like Dad, that?s how.?
?You know, niisan, Mom didn?t try and stop him or anything. She just sat there on the couch, and I looked at her once, and she wasn?t even paying attention.?
?Sou ka.? He glanced at his watch, absent-mindedly. The next stop was his brother?s, and the one after that his own. He?d told Junko he would meet her there.
?Yeah. I don?t think she cared too much.? He took his foot from the seat it currently had all to itself and stood up, shouldering his bag. ?She never liked me too much, I don?t think. She never really wanted the last three of us, did she?? He gave out half of a muffled laugh and looked up at the ceiling. Nobuhiro noticed that his eyes were glazed over, and imagined that his throat probably hurt. He didn?t have anything to say to his brother, the learning disabled, dropout, never-worked-a-day-in-his-life nineteen-year-old they had given up on years ago, in response to that and just when he thought he might have, a familiar sound alerted the passengers that the doors were opening, and his brother stepped out of the car.
As the train began to pick up speed again, Nobuhiro noticed him put another cigarette to his lips and reach into his pocket for his lighter.
Having triplets after your fortieth birthday would probably take a lot out of any one, he thought.

[COLOR=Gray][FONT=Courier New]I'm not sure about whether or not I like this chapter. Regardless, it's what came out. Enjoy.

Hong Hing:
Gai-jin = foreigner
Onna = woman
I leave it to you to figure out the rest.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[MissWem]

[QUOTE=Godelsensei]
[COLOR=Gray][FONT=Courier New]I'm not sure about whether or not I like this chapter. Regardless, it's what came out. Enjoy.

Hong Hing:
Gai-jin = foreigner
Onna = woman
I leave it to you to figure out the rest.[/FONT][/COLOR][/QUOTE]
[COLOR=darkred]Thanks...
Well, in my opinion it lacks the same kind of humour your previous chapters had.. perhaps.. this was more, sentimental. Definitely. I'm glad you actually update on a regular basis that way I don't forget what I read previously and therefore I don't need to go back and re-read everything all over again ^__^

I like.[/COLOR]

[KarmaOfChaos]

[color=deeppink][size=1]Well, I don't know about you Godel, but I loved this chapter. You could truly feel the sheer...humaness of these characters. Little details like Toru putting his head on the window, or his brother telling him not to smoke. This is my favorite chapter so far, actually.

Yes, there isn't much humor, but you need chapters like these. If it's just flippant funny repeatedly, then it gets boring. This chapter helped fill out your story, make it meaningful. Giving the characters flaws, but showing that underneath, they still care for each other.

Keep up the awesome work.

-Karma[/size][/color]