Ughhhh!!! Parents!!!!

[Epitome]

[size=1]As alot of you may know, I play alot of Counter-Strike. And about a week ago, I was caught on the computer, playing the game when I wasnt supposed to, because I wasnt supposed to be playing during the week. So my mom grounded me and all the sudden she gets this idea that I have a HUGE obsession with guns.

So she calls my dad in Michigan and she starts explaining to him how she always sees the computer with websites with guns on them and how I always am looking at websites with guns. So I get on the phone with my dad and explain to him that they are in fact gun websites but for CS. So hes like let me talk to your mother.

My mom yet comes back again with the phone and says to me, I think that this game is influencing you to lie and cheat with us and we are making you stop playing it. Also you are going to be put into counseling or Im sending you to boarding school because I cant deal with you anymore...

"WHAT!!!!!" My heart stopped for a minute, and I really believe so. I am addicted to the game, I can admit it, but thinking the game is leading me to lie and cheat and influence me to bring a gun to school and start shooting people... thats ludacris. So my mom continues to tell me that the game is bad for me and I basically flipped on her.

So then I get grounded from the computer for a week and now I am back on, explaining this whole situation to you. Now the main point of this thread was to ask you this... Do you think that the game CS can influence you to lie, cheat, and kill people with guns(if you play the game), and also to ask if you have parents similar to mine?

My parents are very protective in my life. They always make sure that I have good grades and always am doing the right thing. But when they get to the point of doing this to me, it got on my nerves. So do you have parents like this, or am I just the only one that has to go through this emotional mayhem?[/size]

[Deedlit]

[color=#009966]It's their job to overexaggerate. Try to expain to them that you know the difference between the gaming world and reality. If they don't believe you, then....I don't know. I would handle the situation in my own way, but I don't think "my way" is very good advice to you right now, seeing as my parents are *slightly* more reasonable. :cross: So, good luck I guess.[/color]

[...]

My parents are exactly the same. But I don't view their protectiveness as a burden, Serraph-Angel. In fact, I really can't say I blame them when they ground me for playing games too much, or take things they may think is a "bad influence" away from me. Because I know my parents are only looking out for *my best interests.* And I'm talking from a lot of experience here in this area. I've had certain games taken from me, computer privledges, down to the music I listen to to be viewed before I am allowed to listen to it. So yes, we have identical parents in this way.

Attitude has a lot of impact on a parent's decision. If you are arguing with them about how unfair it is to keep the game from you, then they are going to want to take it away even more. Because they can sense the pull for you. And obsession with any game is never a good thing. Again, I speak from experience.

While it may seem unfair to you, your parents are only doing this because they love you. If they didn't, they wouldn't care what you devulged your life into. And the fact she wants you to see counseling makes me believe that there is a lot more to this story then any of us really know. Do yourself a favor Angel, take your parents advice. Stay away from those games until you can put priorities in line. Games have been proven to influence a person's actions later in life. Especially one that they are obsessed with.

[Sui Generis]

[color=indigo]Obviously if one game is so important to you than it has the possibility of influencing you.

You say it doens't, yet why in the world did you argue with your mother about it, and why are you making a big deal about something that every teenager faces, unless indeed it has influenced you in some way.

To be addicted to something, and say it has no influence on you what so ever is a total fallacy.

Now I'm not going to sit here and say what your parents did was wrong or right, all I'm saying is, obviously you were addicted, to a game.

As I said if you are addicted to something it can influence you without you noticing.[/color]

[Princess_Keiko]

I totally understand your pain... Sadly...my parents..are the same, I mean they just start getting some insane ideas about the things I do. If I were you and I tried to explain to my parents that the game isn't influencing me to lie and cheat, they still wouldn't beileve me, So the only advice I can give you is that..Just spend some time away from the game, I know it sounds hard probably..But at least they'll stop noticing you playing the game as much , and then they won't bother you about it..(Of course you can play the game when they're not around) Anyways, sorry about you getting grounded.

[Baron Samedi]

[size=1]I know all about unreasonable parents.

Anyway, if you are addicted to the game, ease up on it a bit. Get outside, play some sport. If you develop a varied lifestyle, with time for everything, then your parents shouldn't worry so much. Could a game make you behave differently? Yes. You already broke 'house rules' by playing it when you weren't supposed to. You would have done it again, and if you weren't caught, you would have denied it. Which is why addictions are bad.

But, unless you are really hopeless and unbalanced [lol] then there is probably no chance of you going Columbine on your folks. And tell them that.[/size]

[Soliel]

[COLOR=GREEN]At the risk of sounding repetitive, I'm going to have to say that all in all, your parents are only looking out for your best interest. I know they may seem rigid at times, but that's just part of being a parent.
About your game, I'd suggest sitting down and calmly discussing things over with your parents. Tell them that you understand the difference between fantasy and reality, but do so in a very calm and mature way. If they see that you understand this, and act mature about it, they might consider letting you have your game back. My parent have been fine about my brothers and I playing violent video games since we've had a similar family discussion. Of course, it may take more than one try. This talk, like the ones parents give their kids on sex, drugs, alcohal, and smoking, are repetitive because parents fell the need to drill these ideas into their children's heads.
Oh, and if your parents try to blame solely the game for you so called "obsession", tell them that they're partailly to blame. I hate it when over protective parents try to get rid of good games and TV shows because they think that those are the cause of their kids bad behavior. (Sorry, went off on a tangent there.)[/COLOR]

[Epitome]

[QUOTE=Lalaith Ril][color=indigo]Obviously if one game is so important to you than it has the possibility of influencing you.

You say it doens't, yet why in the world did you argue with your mother about it, and why are you making a big deal about something that every teenager faces, unless indeed it has influenced you in some way.

To be addicted to something, and say it has no influence on you what so ever is a total fallacy.

Now I'm not going to sit here and say what your parents did was wrong or right, all I'm saying is, obviously you were addicted, to a game.

As I said if you are addicted to something it can influence you without you noticing.[/color][/QUOTE]
[size=1]But a huge thing is that my mom says that by playing this game I am being anti-social and am neglecting my "need to be active." But the thing is, alot of people who I hang out with around me and people I have met through the game, play the game so we CAN keep in contact, which is one of the reasons why I argue.

But I will agree with you that when you are addicted to something, it will influence you, whether you see it or not. But my parents think its influencing me in a way to become hostile or volatile in a situation. They wanted to put me in couseling because they thought that because there were "guns" on the screen of the computer that I was going to purchase one, and as Baron said it, go Columbine on them.

And I know what your going to say: Thats what everyone says before it really does happen... But Im not a the type of guy who throws his WHOLE life away because he saw how to kill a person with a gun in a game called Counter Strike...[/size]

[eleanor]

[color=firebrick] Loosen up. Your parents are acting like all the other parents I know.

The fact that you're addicted to a game is bad. When you're addicted, it leads you to lying and other such things so that you may continue playing it...in the wee hours of the morning or whatever. I fail to accept that an addiction to a game would help postively in any major way. If you come home from school and the first thing to think about it playing CS and you don't stop playing until your mother shouts at you for the fifth time, I think there's something wrong. Chances are you can become very anti-social if you keep it up and even if you meet people you hang out through CS, the whole thing still ends up revolving all around...a game. Even if you say you're not going to throw your life away for a game, just think about it. You were so 'addicted' that you had to play when you were told not to. How many hours a day do you play this game? How is it affecting your school like...or your physical health?

I mean, if my kid were to play CS 24/7 and start looking at websites with guns all day, I would get worried. The counseling thing...eh. My parents wanted to put me in counseling in seventh grade because my grades were dropping. [Because seventh grade was the worst year of my life...because I was addicted to the internet and anime.]

And I would be glad to have your parents. If my mom caught me playing a game when she told me not to and expected me to study or something, I'd be grounded from the internet for at least a month, and she'd probably ban me from ever playing the game.[/color]

[Sui Generis]

[QUOTE=Serraph-Angel][size=1]But a huge thing is that my mom says that by playing this game I am being anti-social and am neglecting my "need to be active." But the thing is, alot of people who I hang out with around me and people I have met through the game, play the game so we CAN keep in contact, which is one of the reasons why I argue.

But I will agree with you that when you are addicted to something, it will influence you, whether you see it or not. But my parents think its influencing me in a way to become hostile or volatile in a situation. They wanted to put me in couseling because they thought that because there were "guns" on the screen of the computer that I was going to purchase one, and as Baron said it, go Columbine on them.

And I know what your going to say: Thats what everyone says before it really does happen... But Im not a the type of guy who throws his WHOLE life away because he saw how to kill a person with a gun in a game called Counter Strike...[/size][/QUOTE]

[color=indigo]No I'm not going to say thats what everyone says before the go and kill someone, because personally I wouldn't know what people say before they go and kill someone.

I was just stating you'd be suprised how much a game can affect you. Its the same thing with young children and cartoons. Although its still being argued, the pyschology world (atleast) believe the reason for such problems as ADD and more violence in kids now is because of the cartoons.

First off the rapid action and the short attention span that is related to cartoons promotes ADD and actually slows down a child's thought capability.

Second off cartoons show violence as humor, as well as, imaginary.

So basically I'm just saying that the simple fact is, things can affect you.[/color]

[James]

[color=#707875]I'm amazed at some of the reponses I'm seeing here. If we are to go on what Serraph-Angel has told us, then I think we can assume that his parents are behaving in a totally irrational manner.

The idea that you can take a kid playing a violent game and then make the leap from that to cheating, lying and so on, is quite remarkable to me. Not only is there no reason to actually come to that conclusion, but that is also a massive insult to Serraph-Angel -- unless, of course, there are things in this situation that we don't know about.

However, as I said, we can only go on what we've been told.

If his parents are sending him to boarding school [i]and [/i]counselling simply because he plays Counter-Strike regularly and looks at CS sites, then I'd say that is highly irrational and unreasonable. Whether or not you have your child's best interests at heart is kind of being used as an excuse to make some very backward decisions, in my view.

It's a difficult thing to comment on, though. As I said, I can only go on what I've been told by Serraph-Angel. If everything he said accurately represents what's going on, then yeah, I'm very inclined to suggest that his parents are being irrational. But if Serraph-Angel is "addicted" to the point where he totally lives his life through the game and that has somehow driven him to lie, cheat and so on...then I'd say his parents are only half right (boarding school for a video game addiction? Seriously, let's jump into the 20th century at least, lol).

However, I doubt it. It does sound to me that Serraph-Angel's mother made that accusation simply because he'd mentioned that the "gun sites" were Counter-Strike-based. But yeah, again, we can only go on what we're told here.[/color]

[Delta]

[COLOR=DarkRed][SIZE=1]
Say to her that sending you to boarding school will hurt your feelings [i]gravely[/i] and the chances of you becoming a trigger-happy psycho will skyrocket from nil to 75 percent.

Seriously, I think you should stay away from CS for a while. Do something that requires moving bodyparts other than your hands, say... paintball. CS-esque fun in the real world! Then sign-up for save-Mother-Earth clubs so that you'll look goody-goody to your mother.

Love and Peace! :love2:
[/SIZE][/COLOR]

[Baron Samedi]

[size=1][quote name='Serraph-Angel']And about a week ago, I was caught on the computer, playing the game when I wasnt supposed to, because I wasnt supposed to be playing during the week.[/quote]

[quote name='Baron Samedi']You already broke 'house rules' by playing it when you weren't supposed to. You would have done it again, and if you weren't caught, you would have denied it.[/quote]

[quote=James]The idea that you can take a kid playing a violent game and then make the leap from that to cheating, lying and so on, is quite remarkable to me. Not only is there no reason to actually come to that conclusion, but that is also a massive insult to Serraph-Angel -- unless, of course, there are things in this situation that we don't know about.
[/quote]

Cheating and lying have just entered the field...[/size]

[James]

[QUOTE=Baron Samedi][size=1]





Cheating and lying have just entered the field...[/size][/QUOTE]
[color=#707875]Playing a game when you're not supposed to isn't necessarily right, but we're still making an enormous leap here.

Are you telling me that this act requires boarding school and counselling to be corrected? At best, his parents could simply confiscate the game and not allow him to use the computer at all. Physically sending him away and sending him to counselling is highly irrational, considering what we're being presented with here.[/color]

[Princess_Keiko]

I don't think his parents were actually gonna send him away to a boarding school, I am pretty sure they probably said it out of rage, like my parents. They probably just want to scare him. oo'

[Baron Samedi]

[size=1]I agree with that James. I was just saying that lying and deception comes into it very quickly. I doubt they were seriously considering that level of punishment though.[/size]

[Charles]

I would just like to point out that this is the reason why many children rebel against authority with irrational behavior of their own. There's nothing worse than parents whose trust in their children is so fragile that they choose to believe a simple form of mainstream entertainment is going to completely undercut their kids' grasp on human values. That shows a lot of insecurity on their part, I think. If they were confident in their parenting, they wouldn't suffer from an intense paranoia that tells them a simple video game holds more influence than their guidance.

Perhaps instead of sending you away for correction, she should arrange for family counseling because it appears to me that she knows nothing about you and has problems of her own that need attention.

[Epitome]

[QUOTE=James][color=#707875]I'm amazed at some of the reponses I'm seeing here. If we are to go on what Serraph-Angel has told us, then I think we can assume that his parents are behaving in a totally irrational manner.

The idea that you can take a kid playing a violent game and then make the leap from that to cheating, lying and so on, is quite remarkable to me. Not only is there no reason to actually come to that conclusion, but that is also a massive insult to Serraph-Angel -- unless, of course, there are things in this situation that we don't know about.

However, as I said, we can only go on what we've been told.

If his parents are sending him to boarding school [i]and [/i]counselling simply because he plays Counter-Strike regularly and looks at CS sites, then I'd say that is highly irrational and unreasonable. Whether or not you have your child's best interests at heart is kind of being used as an excuse to make some very backward decisions, in my view.

It's a difficult thing to comment on, though. As I said, I can only go on what I've been told by Serraph-Angel. If everything he said accurately represents what's going on, then yeah, I'm very inclined to suggest that his parents are being irrational. But if Serraph-Angel is "addicted" to the point where he totally lives his life through the game and that has somehow driven him to lie, cheat and so on...then I'd say his parents are only half right (boarding school for a video game addiction? Seriously, let's jump into the 20th century at least, lol).

However, I doubt it. It does sound to me that Serraph-Angel's mother made that accusation simply because he'd mentioned that the "gun sites" were Counter-Strike-based. But yeah, again, we can only go on what we're told here.[/color][/QUOTE]
[size=1]Thank god, someone agrees with me...

And Baron, you say cheating and lying entered the field, but I have been lying since I started my teenage years. If you were to come to my house and ask my parents when I started lying, they wouldnt be able to tell you its been so long... But on the other hand, I am doing alot better.

And James, maybe counseling wouldnt be all that irrational if it was like playing it 24/7 and as somone has already said, getting on right when you get home from school and then dont get off until your parents have yelled at you 5 times and grounded you. But thats not my situation...

And the only reason I would lie about the game, is because my parents are irrational about how much time I can play it for. They only let me play the game for an hour on Fridays and Saturdays, and Sunday, until Im done with my homework(which it legitimate), only a half-hour. They dont even let me play during the week either...

Somone also brought up my school life. My grades are above average in my opinion. I have 3 "A's" 3 "B's" and 1 "C." And my parents think a "C" is unsatisfactory but this was in the beginning of the year when we had maybe 4 assignments. And my physical life is fine too. Im playing Ice Hockey for my school, I play baseball regularly, and I go out with friends all the time. Its not like Im not trying to make an effort to go do something else besides play the game...

But a HUGE factor that I forgot to mention is the fact that I will be moving to Detroit very soon. My dad just got a new job there and now were moving for the 2nd time in under 3 years. I made friends, lost them, and now I made more friends, and now am going to be losing them as well.

And I do realize that my parents are only looking out for my best interest, but if they realized how much I enjoy playing the game, that would probably be one of my best interests...[/size]

[Baron Samedi]

[size=1][quote name='Serapph-Angel']I think that this game is influencing you to lie and cheat with us and we are making you stop playing it.[/quote]

All I said was that it is causing you to lie and cheat. Thats all I said. And it is.

Your limits are ludicrous. But, hey **** happens. Rather than cheating, try to explain. Or just put-up. I don't know. In the end, your parents are your 'masters' and can do what they want, to a degree.[/size]

[James]

[color=#707875]The thing is though, I don't think that the game is responsible for Serraph-Angel's lying. Let's face it; if a parent tells their child not to play a certain game, that child is probably going to sneak in a play session now and again. lol

I'm not trying to suggest that this is right, [i]however[/i], if I didn't know better, I'd say that many in this thread are already lighting their torches and holding up their pitchforks.

I mean, seriously, we're talking about a kid who loves to play a particular game. When my youngest sibling gets a new game, it's often hard to tear her away from it, because it's something she's really into at the time. But there's nothing inherently wrong with that -- as long as her play time [i]is[/i] kept under control and as long as she's getting other things done (like schoolwork).

It is reasonable for a parent to say, okay, I'm going to restrict the amount of time you can play your game...and if you play it when you're not supposed to, you'll have more restrictions, or something along those lines. I'm sure that there are several things that Serraph's parents could do, in order to keep things under control.

But if what Serraph says is to be believed, then we're talking about parents who are treating their son like a potential axe murderer. It's not just old fashioned, but it's really questionable parenting.

I think Charles' comment most accurately reflects my feelings on the matter.[/color]

[Baron Samedi]

[size=1]I can see that. But, if your parents warn you not to do something and punish you when you do it...well, that's what happens.

Sometimes you gotta have willpower. I don't mean to bag you Serapph Angel. I do think your parents are being unfair. If they were seriously considering boarding school and sending you away, only because of that...then there is something wrong. But really, things get said in the heat of the moment, and only people with perfect lives would not have experienced that. You've been punished for breaking the rules. Thats what happens [unless you're really sneaky...lol][/size]

[eleanor]

[color=firebrick] I didn't mean to insult you, but when you said 'addicted' I really thought you were addicted in the sense that you played CS and did nothing else. That's my fault, I'm sorry.

But seriously. All I can say is tough it out. Your parents aren't even close to what others do to some people I know.

Your mother probably worries you're going to go out on a killing spree because of stuff other parents have told her or whatever she's read in the newspaper or seen on the news [same thing happened with me]. You should explain to her that videogames such as CS only give stupid kids ideas that they decide to do...because they're dumb or something, I don't know.

If she's really being serious about sending you off to boarding school you should sit her down and talk.[/color]

[i]They only let me play the game for an hour on Fridays and Saturdays, and Sunday, until Im done with my homework(which it legitimate), only a half-hour. They dont even let me play during the week either...[/i]

[color=firebrick]So wait, are you saying they let you play an hour on Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays and then after an hour you have to finish your school work before you play again? [/color]

[Epitome]

[QUOTE=maladjusted][color=firebrick] I didn't mean to insult you, but when you said 'addicted' I really thought you were addicted in the sense that you played CS and did nothing else. That's my fault, I'm sorry.

But seriously. All I can say is tough it out. Your parents aren't even close to what others do to some people I know.

Your mother probably worries you're going to go out on a killing spree because of stuff other parents have told her or whatever she's read in the newspaper or seen on the news [same thing happened with me]. You should explain to her that videogames such as CS only give stupid kids ideas that they decide to do...because they're dumb or something, I don't know.

If she's really being serious about sending you off to boarding school you should sit her down and talk.[/color]

[i]They only let me play the game for an hour on Fridays and Saturdays, and Sunday, until Im done with my homework(which it legitimate), only a half-hour. They dont even let me play during the week either...[/i]

[color=firebrick]So wait, are you saying they let you play an hour on Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays and then after an hour you have to finish your school work before you play again? [/color][/QUOTE]
[size=1]No, what I was saying was on Sundays, I get to play after I finish my homework, and only get to play for a half hour, so basically, that makes me want to try to break the house rules more to get on only because, in my mind, they really dont let me play enough. But thats besides the point.

Yall are right probably, I should just tough it out, and wait until the let me back on the game, and hopefully, at max Ill be in counseling.[/size]

[Sui Generis]

[color=indigo]As much as I want to just say thats its a bunch of junk (the parent's actions) I just can't find the story to be 100% true.

I mean its nothing against you what so ever, but the simple fact is, when you get pissed off with your parents what they do seems to grow more and more, and you can always think of "reasons" to get mad at them.

I mean come on, I'm 16 lord knows I do it. Everyone I know does it. Its just a part of life, your parents piss you off, they make an off hand remark, you take it seriously and things get blown out of proportion.

It happens a lot, whether it happened in this circumstance I don't know, I'm just give another point of view.




Granted it is plausible that the parents are just insane. I mean getting sent to a boarding school for playing a game, is well, ludacris. Thats why I suspected other motives besides just the game, but who knows.

I really don't know your parents, neither does anyone here (except maybe someone who knows you in real life) so really its your word we're going off of.

So lets start over.

Going off of your word, my response will be this:

"Are you seriouse? Your parents are actually going to send you to a boarding school, because you played Counter Strike? Thats so stupid, I mean its only a video game, and you never did anything wrong. Well besides break a couple small rules, being sent to a boarding school just seems rather....extreme."



Although that is my teenager response and essentially what I thought you have to remember one other thing. Think about the time period they grew up in. They could be from the 70's where everything was about peace. War was evil, and guns were evil. They could've come from the 50's where family value was above all, and any violence was too much violence.

The simple fact is; its just been recently (matter of the past two decades) that violence and guns have truly been accepted into the household; for good or bad. So the way they were brought up, and the way teenagers are being brought up now are two different ways, so in the end you may see it as unfair, they could just be doing what they were taught.

Now granted I think there should be a compromise, a meating point, in this situation; for example you could play Counter Strike maybe three days a week or something. I mean obviously they are your parents and untill you move out (as much as it sucks) you're stuck with that.


So to you I say I'm sorry, it sucks to be in your situation, hopefully it gets better![/color]

[eleanor]

[color=firebrick] Well if you really want to play you should have a discussion about you getting more priveleges. Work out a deal or something...Like you could maybe agree with your parents that you get to manage your own time for a week or so and after that your parents can agree or disagree to continue it [based on how you manage things and such]. I did that with my mom when I wanted to get a gamecube; it might work with yours.[/color]