Guest Garelock Posted October 11, 2004 Share Posted October 11, 2004 [SIZE=4][CENTER]Osama for Bush 2004 [/CENTER] [/SIZE] [IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v369/Garelock/bushcheney-banner.jpg[/IMG] "I am Osama bin Laden, and I approve this message." A personal message from Osama Bin Laden to the American people: In the name of Allah Almighty, I would like to welcome all my supporters and all American infidels! Many of you may be surprised to learn that I support George Bush, but it's true! George Bush and I go way back and he is now supporting and promoting my cause better than I could have ever hoped! He is helping me recruit Muslim militants, uniting my supporters around the world, making it easy for me to attack infidels, and is keeping America unprotected for our next attack. There are so many reasons I want Bush to be America's president for four more years, I don't even know where to begin! But once you read my message, you will understand why I am Bush?s #1 fan! He has been a loyal friend and a partner in promoting my cause and organization. (please to excuse my English not very good). Bin Ladens & Bushes: Longtime buddies It was George Bush papa Sr. who helped me when I was just a struggling young terrorist. When he was head of the CIA, and later Vice President, he gave me and my terrorist friends lots of money and weapons so I can fight the Soviets in Afghanistan. He was so nice to me! They gave us everything we wanted, even excellent CIA training so we can kill very effectively! My family and I were ever so grateful! When George Bush Jr. could not find any oil in Texas in the 1980s, we gave him lots of money through W.A.M.Y. (World Assembly of Muslim Youth), one of our terror organizations. That was not enough to save his failing company Arbusto, but we knew that he would be forever grateful for our help! Later, George Bush Jr. and his papa became partners with my relatives in Carlyle Group, one of the largest defense contractors of America! When George Bush Jr. was governor of Texas, he was very nice to my protectors, the Taliban, and invited them to Texas to discuss plans for building an oil pipeline in Afghanistan. As you can see, my family and the Bushes have been good, loyal friends for over 20 years! Bush allowed us to do 9/11! I have to admit, I was really nervous about our plans to attack New York and Washington on the 11th of September. Doing such an operation inside America would be very difficult. We tried it many times when Clinton was president and we never succeeded. Clinton the infidel was very mean to us. He wouldn't let me blowup Americans, and he even tried to kill me! Luckily, Bush's Republicans friends warned Clinton not to attack me again. I was very depressed. The only thing I could do is kill a few Americans in embassies in Africa and in the USS Cole ship. But then Clinton sent his agents to Yemen to track down my people and arrest them! Can you believe the nerve of this guy? But then, a miracle happened! Even though he received fewer votes than Gore the infidel, George W Bush became the new president! I knew then, that it must have been the will of Allah and that everything would go my way from now on. Indeed, George Bush told the American agents in Yemen to stop tracking down my people. They were only allows to resume the investigation a couple of weeks before our attacks. This was very important for us; a couple of our Yemeni terrorists were scheduled to be part of the attacks of the 11th of September. If Bush arrested them, who knows what might have happened to our operation. Bush also told his FBI agents that they are not allowed to investigate any Saudi links to terrorists. That was very nice of him since myself, my family, and most of the hijackers on the 11th of September were Saudi. Bush was also nice enough to give $43 million to the Taliban, my protectors. Mr. Bush also made sure that America spent money on missile defense and not on counterterrorism, even though Clinton and his people told him that we were planning a big attack. When some Americans said he needs to have a Department of homeland security, Bush said he doesn't like that idea and didn't allow it until after our operation has succeeded. Then, in the summer of 2001, when many of the American agents began to uncover our plots, Bush did not attempt to disrupt our operations. He even went on vacation for a month right before we attacked and refused to hold any meetings with his advisors to try to foil our plans! Then, in the morning of the 11th of September, when our hijacked planes were in the air heading towards New York and Washington, Mr. Bush stayed in a classroom with kids in Florida and did not do anything, even after he was told that ?America is under attack?. Bush let us get away with it! Thanks to the success of the attacks, I became a big celebrity! Everyone in the world knows who I am! I have become more famous than Britney Spears! Even though 3,000 people were killed in America, Mr. Bush did not forget his loyalties and let my Saudi relatives to fly out of America, even when no one else (not even Americans!) was allowed fly in the days following the attacks. I understand, and forgive Bush for invading Afghanistan. He had no choice. The American infidels were really mad at me and he had to do something to show that he is tough. But he made sure to attack Afghanistan in such a way that I could easily escape. You see, Bush gave me a two month head start and he didn't send any troops to protect the border of Pakistan and Afghanistan so I simply walked into Pakistan where I now live in a comfy cave. Bush said some mean things about me after the 11th of September; he said he wanted to see me captured dead or alive. I could not believe it! My old family friend speaking that way about me? My feelings were hurt until he later changed his mind and said he doesn't know or care where I am, so I forgave him. Bush also scared me when he said he will take my money and do not allow me to finance any more terrorist attacks. I wasn't sure if he really meant it or if he was just kidding. Apparently, he was just kidding as I still have all the money I need and he never really interrupted the funding of any of my operations. I was also getting really worried when some of the American special-ops agents were getting close to me, and for a while, I even wondered if they'll actually catch me. But just in the nick of time, Bush pulled his agents off my trail and sent them to Iraq to arrest my old nemesis, Saddam. Iraq: Bush?s best gift for me! The biggest gift that Bush could have possibly given me was his decision to invade Iraq. You see, my immediate goal is not to destroy America and convert all American infidels to Islam. Even I am not that crazy to think I can do that. As a first step, I just want to radicalize the Muslim world. If all Muslims learned to hate Americans and the Jews like I do, they would be much easier to manipulate and I could tell them to do whatever I want. I could even convince them to blow themselves up if I wanted to! I could help destabilize moderate Islamic governments in the Middle East and have my people take over those countries. The problem is that most Muslims are moderate and don't want to sacrifice themselves for my cause. My dilemma has always been: how to convince more Muslims to join my cause? I always told them that America is an evil empire that wants to conquer their holy Muslim lands. The excuse I used so far was that the Americans put a military base in Saudi Arabia after the first war with Iraq to free Kuwait. That argument was kind of weak because after all, the Saudis invited the Americans there to protect them from Saddam. I still managed to recruit some poor, uneducated Muslims for my cause, but that wasn?t enough. Now that Bush sent his army of Christian soldiers on a crusade to invade a second Muslim land, I can recruit terrorists more easily than ever! Now, everyone believes me that America wants to attack Arab countries that pose no threat to America and kill thousands of Muslims for no reason (except perhaps to steal their oil). Bush wanted to help me so badly, that he even lied to his own people about Weapons of Mass Destruction, about Saddam?s involvement with our operation and claiming that Iraq is harboring our people. He did such a good job lying that most stupid Americans believe that Saddam was linked to 9/11. It is also so much easier for me to kill Americans now! Thanks to Bush, there are so many American soldiers in my own back yard and I can kill several of them on a daily basis! Over 800 so far and counting! Mr. Bush was nice enough to send his soldiers to Iraq without proper protection and armor to their vehicles and bodies, which makes killing and maiming them much easier for my people! Bush also refused to pay the measly salaries of the Iraqi soldiers after the Americans invaded Iraq. That made it much easier for my people to recruit them since they were all unemployed and pissed off with nothing to do. In a courageous attempt to turn the entire Arab world against America, Bush allowed his soldiers to torture and humiliate Iraqi prisoners. Now there is hope that Iraq will finally be a radical Muslim country under my control. As long as Saddam was in charge of Iraq, there was no chance of us ever having power there, but Bush is making it possible for us! We can now create chaos and try to take control of Iraq, and we can finally use Iraq as a base of operations! We are now all united in our common cause of holy war against America thanks to Bush! Bush: Keeping America primed for our next operations. Thanks to Bush, it will be easier than ever for us to attack inside America again. Bush did not want to buy the nuclear stockpiles of the former Soviet Union, which means, we can (and already have? shhhh! It's a surprise!) Also, Bush does not want to increase funding for screening of cargo that arrives to American ports. This means that we can easily sneak in all sorts of cool weapons to blowup and poison Americans. Bush also does not want to protect chemical plants near big cities in America. This will permit our people to blow them up if we wanted to. Mr. Bush was also nice enough to cut the FBI budget for counterterrorism by two thirds! Our main goal is to see that Bush is reelected to so that he can provide four more glorious years of hate and turmoil in the Middle East and all around the world. We certainly do not want a levelheaded president that will try to stabilize the Middle East and encourage peace between the Palestinians and Israelis. That will make recruiting new terrorists much more difficult. Also, having Bush as the president of the Americans is very good for America! Thanks to Mr. Bush, America is in a financial debt of trillions of dollars, millions of Americans are unemployed, millions more cannot get healthcare, and since he took money away from schools, American kids will grow up stupider than ever! Mr. Bush was also nice enough to allow American companies to put lots more poisonous mercury & carbon dioxide in the air and arsenic in the water for Americans infidels and their kids to breathe and drink. Our future is bright thanks to Bush! Things have never been better for me and I owe it all to Bush! Because of the war in Iraq, people are forgetting about me and I can continue to plan more and more attacks against Americans, Europeans, and other Muslim countries. I still have plenty of money to buy lots of weapons (even nuclear weapons! shhhh! It's a secret!), and I have almost 20,000 supporters that will deliver them to the infidels. Thanks to Bush's excellent work, we can now freely operate in Iraq and we are working hard to establish our first radical Islamic government in Iraq. When Saddam was in power, he did not allow my people to operate in his country, but now I can send many of my agents to use Iraq as a base of operations! As the ultimate sacrifice, if it seems like Bush is struggling to get reelected, I may even let him capture or kill me before the elections to ensure a second term for my good friend! It will be my final gift to Bush who gave me so much! Don?t worry, Al Qaeda will stay strong even after I'm gone, but the Americans will be so happy that Bush got me that they will vote for him again! It seems that Bush is committed to keep America weak, our cause strong, the Middle East in chaos, and the entire world hating America. That is why I hope that you will join my cause to reelect George Bush in November 2004! Sincerely, Osama Bin Laden [IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v369/Garelock/osama.bmp[/IMG] If you would like to send us a message, write to [email][email protected][/email]. Please note you will be writing the webmaster of this page, not Osama Bin Laden himself. Due to bad internet connection in Osama?s cave, he will not be able to receive your messages. We may choose publish some of the mail received. You can also add comments to our Guest Book. (Disclaimer: this satirical web page was neither written by, nor endorsed by Osama Bin Laden or anyone else affiliated with anyone.) 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ChibiHorsewoman Posted October 12, 2004 Share Posted October 12, 2004 [color=darkviolet]Not to sound rude or anything..okay who am I kidding, I am about to sound rude and frankly my dear I don't give a damn. Don't you think that's a bit disrespectful to people who lost loved one's during the attacks on 9/11? Can we just close this now?[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Midnight Rush Posted October 12, 2004 Share Posted October 12, 2004 Yea really. CHW is correct. Regardless of one's opinion on the President, you must realize that there [i]are[/i] limits even in bad taste. Get a life dude. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Garelock Posted October 12, 2004 Share Posted October 12, 2004 I'm not the one who really posted that. It was my friend using my username. I told that girl to leave my account alone and she specifically ignored me. I'm not really used to otakuboards.com so I don't know if I can delete posts or not and if I knew how to I would. I apologize for Mori's posting this, I shall give her some nuggies for it. Then again, this would mean that she was in my room without my permission yet again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Midnight Rush Posted October 12, 2004 Share Posted October 12, 2004 [QUOTE=Garelock]I'm not the one who really posted that. It was my friend using my username. I told that girl to leave my account alone and she specifically ignored me. I'm not really used to otakuboards.com so I don't know if I can delete posts or not and if I knew how to I would. I apologize for Mori's posting this, I shall give her some nuggies for it. Then again, this would mean that she was in my room without my permission yet again.[/QUOTE] Riiiiggggghhhht. Whatever you say... *Is secretly thinking that the Kerry Juggernaut, Garelock Lord of Liberals, belived this and now realizes the intellectual impossibility of this nonsense, and in a very Kerrylike fashion is trying to cover his bony **** Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Garelock Posted October 12, 2004 Share Posted October 12, 2004 [QUOTE]Riiiiggggghhhht. Whatever you say... *Is secretly thinking that the Kerry Juggernaut, Garelock Lord of Liberals, belived this and now realizes the intellectual impossibility of this nonsense, and in a very Kerrylike fashion is trying to cover his bony ****[/QUOTE] Knowing my loud mouthed and arrogant ways, do you think I'd post something like this and have no comments to go along with it? Plus, whoever posted this had decently good grammar and my grammar...well, lets just say it's less than acceptable. If you just use common sense, you can see that whoever wrote this surely couldn't have been me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Midnight Rush Posted October 12, 2004 Share Posted October 12, 2004 [quote name='Garelock']Knowing my loud mouthed and arrogant ways, do you think I'd post something like this and have no comments to go along with it? Plus, whoever posted this had decently good grammar and my grammar...well, lets just say it's less than acceptable. If you just use common sense, you can see that whoever wrote this surely couldn't have been me.[/quote] I won't humor this topic after this. That post smelled of the lamp. With your sinlgeminded stupidity, I believe you would have worked on that. Or downloaded it from somewhere. You don't have the right to speak about common sense...that would be like Oracle advertising for Microsoft! W/e boy... just hope that we don't meet in a politcal thread. For then I would have to shred your philosophical body and feed it to my brothers dogs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Garelock Posted October 12, 2004 Share Posted October 12, 2004 [QUOTE]I won't humor this topic after this. That post smelled of the lamp. With your sinlgeminded stupidity, I believe you would have worked on that. Or downloaded it from somewhere. You don't have the right to speak about common sense...that would be like Oracle advertising for Microsoft! W/e boy... just hope that we don't meet in a politcal thread. For then I would have to shred your philosophical body and feed it to my brothers dogs.[/QUOTE] You know, I was trying to be nice and explain to you why I couldn't have done this but you asked for it. You want to talk about stupidity? Why the hell would I download something that I can copy and paste from somewhere else? Then again, most stuff like this wouldn't have an image that could be copy and pasted into a thread and especially so on this site. Goes to show how much you know about the internet. You better hope that I never meet you in a politcal thread because I'll beat you down just like I managed to somehow defend myself against 4 people at once. And uh...you do mean single-minded don't you? Oh yeah, good job on calling me a boy. What's next? You gonna call me a poo poo head? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChibiHorsewoman Posted October 12, 2004 Share Posted October 12, 2004 [color=darkviolet]Like I stated in my first post in this thread. Can we close this thing? It's pointless.[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panda Posted October 12, 2004 Share Posted October 12, 2004 If there is a thread you feel is inappropriate please report it. This thread is just an arguement waiting to turn into a full blown flame war. Topic locked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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