Writing Just Like Any Other Morning [PG]

[Arcadia]

[size=1]This is a short story I had to write for my lit class, so I thought I'd share it here and get some feedback before I have to turn in the final draft. ^_^

[b]Just Like Any Other Morning[/b]

Every morning I have a ritual. I stop at Starbucks and I order something hot and add about half a gallon of cream, and then start my day with my fingers firmly wrapped around the warm, cardboard cup and a goofy little smile on my face. Sometimes I add a blueberry muffin to the mix; chocolate if I?m feeling adventurous.

This morning, however, was slightly different. I stopped to get my usual caffeine fix before heading to campus for my nine o?clock class and had almost literally run into a man while I was fishing my wallet out from the bottom of my bag. He smiled politely and started to say something but the words sort of died because that was about the moment we both recognized each other.

The last time I remember seeing Alex it was at a mutual friend?s graduation party, and it was a little less than comfortable. We had a few polite conversations, but our niceties were just to cover the fact that we really didn?t have anything to say to each other. There was a little too much history, I guess. I knew even before then that we would never be able to recover any of our bad jokes or friendly repartee, but that moment really seemed to drill it home. There were times, even months after that, when I wondered if he still hated me or held a grudge, if I would forever be doomed as a ***** in his eyes, or if he even cared. I worried about that most. Despite my long-held beliefs that I hadn?t done anything wrong (in fact, I hadn?t done anything at all), there was a pool of guilt within me that never really seemed to go away. Still waters run deep, you know.

?Long time no see,? I said then, deciding to initiate some kind of conversation. Seeing him was kind of like a blast from the past, and I would be lying if I said it wasn?t the least bit uncomfortable. But I smiled anyway and gestured for him to take a place in line in front of me.

?No, go ahead,? he replied, ever the gentleman. In high school he always insisted on covering the tabs to movies and dinners and it used to infuriate me. As independent as I was at that age, I still felt like I had something to prove.

He?d picked back up on the conversation again once I stepped in front of him. It took a second, but I gave in. ?How are things these days??

?Really good, actually,? I replied, wondering if he had moved into the area and thinking how damn weird that would be. ?I?ll be graduating at the end of the semester.?

He nodded, pulling at some of his hair at the front, as if trying to smooth it down. I recognized it as a nervous habit and for one reason or another it relaxed me. It seemed that he was feeling just as out of place as I was, so at least we were on some kind of common ground. ?I?ll probably start grad school after that. If I get in,? I added, as an afterthought.

Alex raised his eyebrows, still nodding along and acting interested, bless his heart. He always was a good actor ? fooled me a number of times. ?Grad school, huh??

?Yep.? I glanced to the muffins they had on display behind the glass counter. They were looking awfully good. A safety net, if you will. ?I?m hoping for a Masters in Ancient History.?

?What are you going to do with that??

I shrugged, grinning, and he chuckled. ?Teach, maybe. Not sure yet. What about you??

He had the beginnings of a smile on his face, and I could tell that this was something big. That was his ?excited? face. Funny how I still remember all this crap. ?I got myself an agent. It?s only a matter of time before I?m on stage again.?

?That?s awesome,? I said, but I was really thinking about how optimistic he sounded. Maybe that?s one of the reasons he kept trying, even though I?d never given him any reason to. It?s almost amazing how we can fool ourselves into seeing things that we want to see, instead of what?s really there in front of you. Getting back into focus, I continued, ?Congratulations. Maybe I?ll see you in the movies someday??

But he didn?t get to finish that thought because the line had moved and it was my turn to order. I blinked at the menu board before smiling at the girl behind the counter. ?I?ll have a café latte, tall, please, with a blueberry muffin.? She rang up my order, took my money, and then gave me a number. I moved to the side, allowing for some space for the other caffeine addicts in line, and broke a small piece off my muffin off.

After Alex had ordered, he too moved to the side and flashed me a quick smile before turning to watch the employees make drinks. It was the kind of smile that was friendly, but only because you both knew that you?d probably never see each other again. Naturally, I returned it. After all the things that had and hadn?t happened between us, we were now barely acquaintances and neither of us could care less about it. And when the man in the green smock and Starbucks cap handed me my latte, I gave Alex a little wave and said, ?Well, see you around.?

Except that I knew I wouldn?t see him around, and I?ll admit it, a part of me kind of hoped that it would stay that way.

?Yeah, take care,? he responded, and flashed that smile again. I think I can safely speak for both of us when I say that as soon as I walked out that door, we both breathed a huge sigh of relief. I tightened the scarf around my neck and snuggled into my coat, feeling a little more secure despite the cold, and continued on my trek to class.


I spent most of my morning walk to campus remembering high school, and though I had a lot of good times, the particular memories that were flitting through my head were not exactly the ones that I felt all that pleasant about. It had taken me about a year and a half to get back into the swing of things after the big blow out between Alex and me. I didn?t want to be in another relationship, and I didn?t trust guys. I?d been called too many things by too many men during that whole stupid affair and I wasn?t in a hurry to get back in the water and makes waves. It wasn?t that I wasn?t interested ? trust me, there were a lot of gorgeous men on campus ? but I guess I was afraid.

When I did go on a few dates towards the end of freshman year, I never let any guy pay for anything of mine, and I hated it when they gave me little pet names. I had to assert myself. I felt like I?d be run over completely if I didn?t act like a force of nature. But I never wanted to run over anybody else, since Alex claimed again and again that was exactly what I had done ? I?d screwed him over completely. I was a messed up little girl when it came to that. It was hard to find a balance.

And then I met Josh. Josh was cute, but Josh was also gayer than a care bear, despite how quiet he was about his preferences. We were quick friends. It was a very easy, natural relationship and he was one of the coolest guys I?d met since coming to campus (even though he drove on the other side of the street). He was my other half, almost. It was like he could even read my mind, sometimes.
Josh watched me go on these dates and he watched me push the guys away and eventually he sat me down and made me talk. ?I don?t know what you?re doing or why you?re doing it,? he had said, ?But there?s a story behind all this and you?re going to tell it to me.?

Naturally, Josh was right. He took me to the International House of Pancakes and we discussed my malfunctioning love life. I did most of the talking, actually. Once I started it was kind of hard to stop ? I hadn?t realized I had so much to say about it. Josh only interjected a few times, either to nod and encourage or ask if I was going to finish my hash browns.

Something about ?The Talk? (as we had come to call it) really hit home and it soothed over my shattered nerves. It made me think about the situation and about Alex when both were the last things I?d ever wanted to do. It also made me examine myself ? what I said and did, and what I didn?t say or do. I knew that I?d never meant for any of it to end up like that, that I?d never purposely try to hurt anybody, least of all Alex. But my inaction did exactly that anyway. Because I didn?t speak up and I didn?t assert myself in that relationship, things went to hell. And while I didn?t think all the blame was mine, I knew that I definitely deserved a fair share of it.

Coming to terms with Alex in my mind changed everything. I can see that now, and I?m glad that Josh made me face my fears. I?m even glad that I met Alex and I?m glad for all the drama between us, no matter how many times I?ve previously wished otherwise. The experience taught me something invaluable about myself and it changed the way I viewed guys and relationships as a whole. If I hadn?t of gone through all that, I simply wouldn?t be where I am today. I wouldn?t be the same person.

And I wouldn?t have met Aaron. I?ve been seeing him for about a year now. The more I think about it, the more I really believe that without all of this experience backing me, I never would have had the courage to ask him out for coffee (of all things). I tightened my fingers around my latte and smiled before taking a sip.

Alex might never know it, but I?m sorry for the things I put him through. I never meant to hurt him, and I never meant to make him cry. Even if those were his goals for me afterwards, I don?t care. Maybe that?s karma. I learned, didn?t I? And I don?t regret a moment of it.

?Hey sweet cheeks.? An arm slipped around my shoulders and I knew it was Aaron immediately. I?ve always been good at remembering certain quirks about people, and ?sweet cheeks? was something only he called me. And I loved it. He grinned and kissed my forehead. ?You having a good morning??

I looked up at him, smiling, and replied firmly, ?Yes, yes I am.? [/size]

[Brasil]

Very good. Sh-t, less than 5 minute review here, so I'll make it fast. I can't go into any specific editing right now, unfortunately, but Arcadia, the story is awesome. I'd work on the transitions just a little bit, but not the actual grammatical or paragraph transitions. I'm more talking about the Flashback stuff. If you could figure out a way to make it flow a bit easier, it'd help a lot. It's good as it is now, but I don't know. The backstory just doesn't "click."

Gotta run now, but I'll edit this post later. ^_^

[Mimmsicle]

[FONT=Verdana][SIZE=1][COLOR=Navy]This was [B]bad[/B]. Really [B]bad[/B].

In all seriousness, the story flows great. You switch from 'flashbacks' - and close to present day - to present day, very well.

I love how you describe how it is to meet someone after some time and how it plays out, both in behaviour and emotion. Spot on all the way.

I'm proud of you, [B]Badness [/B] ~_^[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[Shinmaru]

Excellent story. I think the flashback transitions are fine as they are now. I couldn't really think of any way to make them any smoother than they already are, at any rate. Maybe Alex has a suggestion up his sleeve, heh.

Anyway, I liked the story. The description was good, and you didn't have an overabundance of description, which seems to be a fault of mine. The dialogue is very natural, and the characters feel realistic. I'd be proud if I wrote a story like this.

[future girl]

This was really good. I became totally immersed in it. I think it flows perfectly between present day and past, I don't see how you could make that any better. It's really descriptive, but in a simple sort of way so you're not overwhelmed with anything. It's just enough. Awesome work.

[Arcadia]

[size=1]Thanks, you guys. It's nice to hear some positive feedback, especially since some of you are notoriously picky. :p

I decided to let the story sit a bit before I went back and revised it (again). There were a couple parts that I wasn't completely satisfied with, but it wouldn't have done a lot of good for me to mess with it then. I finally came back to it this morning, more refreshed and ready to rumble, and attacked the bits and pieces that bothered me. As a result, this version is a little longer (which makes me a little more comfortable with it, heh) and I think it flows a little better. It's still not perfect by a long shot, but this is the version I'm turning in. I would have edited the first post, but I like the idea of being able to actually see the progress I've made, so I'm posting it again. ^_^;

So without further ado, I give you:

[center][b]Just Like Any Other Morning: Revised![/b][/center]

Every morning I have a ritual. I stop at Starbucks and I order something hot and add about half a gallon of cream, and then I start my day with my fingers firmly wrapped around the warm, cardboard cup and a goofy little smile on my face. Sometimes I add a blueberry muffin to the mix; chocolate if I?m feeling adventurous.

This morning, however, was slightly different. I stopped to get my usual caffeine fix before heading to campus for my nine o?clock class and had almost literally run into a man while I was fishing my wallet out from the bottom of my bag. He smiled politely and started to say something but the words sort of died because that was about the moment we both recognized each other.

The last time I remember seeing Alex was at a mutual friend?s graduation party, and it was a little less than comfortable. We had a few polite conversations, but our niceties were just to cover the fact that we really didn?t have anything to say to each other. There was a little too much history, I guess. I knew even before then that we would never be able to recover any of our bad jokes or friendly repartee, but that moment really seemed to drill it home. There were times, even months after that, when I wondered if he still hated me or held a grudge, if I would forever be doomed as a ***** in his eyes, or if he even cared. I worried about that most. Despite my long-held beliefs that I hadn?t done anything wrong (in fact, I hadn?t done anything at all), there was a pool of guilt within me that never really seemed to go away. Still waters run deep, you know.

?Long time no see,? I said then, deciding to initiate some kind of conversation. Seeing him was kind of like a blast from the past, and I would be lying if I said it wasn?t the least bit uncomfortable. But I smiled anyway and gestured for him to take a place in line in front of me.

?No, go ahead,? he replied, ever the gentleman. In high school he always insisted on covering the tabs to movies and dinners and it used to infuriate me. As independent as I was at that age, I still felt like I had something to prove.

He?d picked back up on the conversation again once I stepped in front of him. It took a second, but I gave in. ?How are things these days??

?Really good, actually,? I replied, wondering if he had moved into the area and thinking how damn weird that would be. ?I?ll be graduating at the end of the semester.?

He nodded, pulling at some of his hair at the front, as if trying to smooth it down. I recognized it as a nervous habit, and for one reason or another, it relaxed me. It seemed that he was feeling just as out of place as I was, so at least we were on some kind of common ground. ?I?ll probably start grad school after that. If I get in,? I added, as an afterthought.

Alex raised his eyebrows, still nodding along and acting interested, bless his heart. He always was a good actor ? fooled me a number of times. ?Grad school, huh??

?Yep.? I glanced to the muffins they had on display behind the glass counter. They were looking awfully good. A safety net, if you will. ?I?m hoping for a Masters in Ancient History.?

?What are you going to do with that??

I shrugged, grinning, and he chuckled, and for a few seconds, things seemed kind of normal. ?Teach, maybe. Not sure yet. What about you??

He had the beginnings of a smile on his face, and I could tell that this was something big. That was his ?excited? face. Funny how I still remember all this crap. ?I got myself an agent. It?s only a matter of time before I?m on stage again.?

?That?s awesome,? I said, but I was really thinking about how optimistic he sounded. Maybe that?s one of the reasons he kept trying, even though I?d never given him any reason to. It?s almost amazing how we can fool ourselves into seeing things that we want to see, instead of what?s really there in front of you. But that wasn?t something I needed to be thinking about at that moment, so I continued, ?Congratulations. Maybe I?ll see you in the movies someday??

But he didn?t get to finish that thought because the line had moved and it was my turn to order. I blinked at the menu board before smiling at the girl behind the counter. ?I?ll have a café latte, tall, please, with a blueberry muffin.? She rang up my order, took my money, and then gave me a number. I moved to the side, allowing some space for the other caffeine addicts in line, and broke a small piece off of my muffin.

After Alex had ordered, he too moved to the side and flashed me a quick smile before turning to watch the employees make drinks. It was the kind of smile that was friendly, but only because you both knew that you?d probably never see each other again. Naturally, I returned it. After all the things that had and hadn?t happened between us, we were now barely acquaintances and neither of us could care less about it. And when the man in the green smock and Starbucks cap handed me my latte, I gave Alex a little wave and said, ?Well, see you around.?

Except that I knew I wouldn?t see him around and, I?ll admit it, a part of me kind of hoped that it would stay that way.

?Yeah, take care,? he responded, and flashed that smile again. I think I can safely speak for both of us when I say that as soon as I walked out that door, we both breathed a huge sigh of relief. I tightened the scarf around my neck and snuggled into my coat, feeling a little more secure despite the cold and continued on my trek to class. I was walking to meet Aaron, the new man in my life. Revisiting ugly memories with Alex just wouldn?t do.

Most of my thoughts, however, drifted back to the coffee encounter anyway, and to the problems with Alex that had somehow consumed my life in high school. When I think back on all the drama that occurred then I can?t help but shake my head. Sometimes it?s hard to believe that I was ever that young. A lot of things have changed since then.

It had taken me about a year or so to get back into the swing of things after the big blow out between Alex and me. I didn?t want to be in another relationship, and I didn?t trust guys. I?d been called too many things by too many men during that whole stupid affair and I wasn?t in a hurry to get back in the water and makes waves. It wasn?t that I wasn?t interested ? trust me, there were a lot of gorgeous men on campus ? but I guess I was afraid. Although wounds might heal with time, you?ve still got the scar to serve as a reminder, and I certainly never forgot mine.

When I did go on a few dates towards the end of freshman year, I never let any guy pay for anything of mine, and I hated it when they gave me little pet names. I had to assert myself. I felt like I?d be run over completely if I didn?t act like a force of nature. But I never wanted to run over anybody else, since Alex claimed again and again that was exactly what I had done ? I?d screwed him over completely. I was a messed up little girl when it came to that. It was hard to find a balance.

And then I met Josh. Josh was cute, but Josh was also gayer than a care bear, despite how quiet he was about his preferences. We were quick friends. It was a very easy, natural relationship, as though we were twins seperated at birth (never mind the fact that we didn?t look alike at all). He was one of the coolest guys I?d met since coming to campus and his mellow, easy-going nature always helped to sooth over my frazzled nerves. He was my other half, my alter ego. It was like he could even read my mind sometimes.

Josh watched me go on these dates and he watched me push the guys away and eventually he sat me down and made me talk. ?I don?t know what you?re doing or why you?re doing it,? he had said, ?But there?s a story behind all this and you?re going to tell it to me.?

Naturally, Josh was right. He took me to the International House of Pancakes and we discussed my malfunctioning love life. I did most of the talking, actually. Once I started it was kind of hard to stop ? I hadn?t realized I had so much to say about it. Josh only interjected a few times, either to nod and encourage or to ask if I was going to finish my hash browns.

Something about ?The Talk? (as we had come to call it) really hit home and it smoothed over all the sharp edges of my memories. It made me think about the situation and about Alex when both were the last things I?d ever wanted to do. It also made me examine myself ? what I said and did, and what I didn?t say or do. I knew that I?d never meant for any of it to end up like that, that I?d never purposely try to hurt anybody, least of all Alex. But my inaction did exactly that anyway. Because I didn?t speak up and I didn?t assert myself in that relationship, things went to hell. And while I didn?t think all the blame was mine, I knew that I definitely deserved a fair share of it.

I sighed, and watched my breath fog in the cold air as I crossed the street towards the campus. Coming to terms with Alex in my mind changed everything. I can see that now, and I?m glad that Josh made me face my fears. I?m even glad that I met Alex and I?m glad for all the drama between us, no matter how many times I?ve previously wished otherwise. The experience taught me something invaluable about myself and it changed the way I viewed guys and relationships as a whole. If I hadn?t have gone through all that, I simply wouldn?t be where I am today. I wouldn?t be the same person.

And I wouldn?t have met Aaron. I?ve been seeing him for about a year now. The more I think about it, the more I really believe that without all of this experience backing me, I never would have had the courage to ask him out for coffee (of all things). As I spied my darling man waiting on a bench, drumming away to his headphones, I curled both of my hands around my latte and said a quiet cheers to all the men in my life.

Alex might never know it, but I?m sorry for the things I put him through. I never meant to hurt him, and I never meant to make him cry. Even if those were his goals for me afterwards, I don?t care. Maybe that?s karma. I learned, didn?t I? And I can honestly say now that I don?t regret a moment of it.

?Hey sweet cheeks.? Aaron pulled off his headphones and opened up his arms. It was warm there with him, and I hoped it always would be. But even if it wasn?t, at least I knew that I would always cherish these good moments, as well as the bad ones. Grinning up at him, I asked, ?Why do you have to call me that??

He kissed my nose before taking my latte, spreading the coffee love. ?You know you like it.? And the best thing was, I couldn?t deny it.

?You having a good morning??

I took back my latte, smiling, and replied firmly, ?Yes, yes I am.? [/size]

[Mimmsicle]

[FONT=Verdana][SIZE=1][COLOR=Sienna]Picky ? Us ? *dodges Shin's glaring* ;p

The changes you've made work really well with the story and almost makes it completely different. Possibly because you're staying pretty much within just one timeline and only going back very briefly in the beginning, before doing the 'real' flashback to how it had affected her/how she moved on from there.

I have to say that the 'new' ending is adorable! It also ties together the story marvelousely, how she's come to terms with the bad and embraces it with the good.

Lovely work, [B]Badness [/B] ^___^[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[Shinmaru]

[quote name='Mimmi][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=1][COLOR=Sienna]Picky ? Us ? *dodges Shin's glaring* ;p[/COLOR][/SIZE'][/FONT][/quote]

Well, I know that she wasn't talking about me ^_~

I think that the revision helped, especially the revisions to the ending. I think that this new ending works better, and works more with getting across just how much that she has changed and evolved as a person. She's still a strong woman, yet she doesn't have to assert herself in every single aspect of life to prove this to herself anymore. Like Mimmi mentioned, it also ties together the story very well.

Great work ^_^