Writing Claustrophobia [PG]

[Shinmaru]

This is a short story that I've been working on for the past week and a half, though I did most of the work on it today. I think it's still a bit rough around the edges, but I also think that other people would be a better judge of that than I am. Anyway, I hope that you enjoy the story.

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I?d just seen the most beautiful woman that I could ever imagine seeing. She was tall, about the same height as me, with long brown hair, dazzling brown eyes and a perfect face. She walked very seductively, yet also with an air of detached calm. I was mesmerized by her. I knew that my chances of even slowing her down long enough to speak with her for a few seconds were slim to none, but I decided to throw caution into the wind and at least try catching up with her. I didn?t think that it would hurt at all, seeing as I had plenty of break time in between my classes.

She walked through the library?s automatic doors and went off towards the elevators, which were a bit off to the right. I stopped before the mat in front of the automatic doors, and slowed down my breathing. After I was sufficiently calmed down, I raised my head, walked through the doors as they opened in front of me and stepped into the library. I was met with a fresh gust of cold air ? the school library was notorious for being much too cold and air conditioned for most people to handle. I saw that she was getting into the elevator, and I hurried over to them so that I could get on before she left.

?Hey, hold on!? I yelled. I got over to the elevator just as it was closing shut. She looked at me and threw me a sportive wink before allowing the elevator door to close in my face. I frowned and began pressing the up button maniacally, hoping that this would somehow make the elevator rise and fall faster. I hissed softly and paced in front of the elevator, waiting for the doors to open. I could hear people typing away on computers behind me, keys clicking up and down, chairs creaking loudly as people shifted around nervously in front of their computer screens.

My eyes floated up towards the red digits in the black box hanging over the elevators. The numbers counted down slowly as the elevator descended towards the ground floor: Five?four?three?two?one. With the ring of a bell, the elevator stopped, and the doors opened slowly, ready to take me to my destination. I walked inside of the elevator, and waited a moment to see if anyone else would be joining me. Nobody came, so I pressed the fifth floor button and waited for the elevator to take me up. I didn?t really know that she was on the fifth floor, but I figured that it was a good enough assumption.

I was pressed down slightly by the extra gravity brought on by the elevator?s upward ascent. That feeling always made me slightly uncomfortable, but I?d gotten a bit used to it over time. I leaned back against the silver bar on the wall, and I realized that my hands were quivering; I was used to that, too. I?m slightly claustrophobic, so I?m not too comfortable in tight spaces. However, my mind was on the prize, at the moment, so I wasn?t paying much attention to my shaking hands.

The elevator slowed to a stop, and its doors opened. I stepped out into the fifth floor of the library, and took a look around the area. Bookshelves filled to the brim with books were lined all around the room. A few groups of tables were scattered on the far end of the floor, where several students were studying. The green carpet was hard, worn, and felt very tough under my shoes. The elevator doors closed shut behind me and I walked further into the room, craning my neck, hoping to catch a glimpse of the vision that I had seen earlier.

Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted a blur of movement on the far left side of the room. A lock of shining brown hair disappeared behind the bookshelf, and I recognized it immediately. I could never forget hair as tantalizing as hers was. I hurried over to the bookshelf, hoping to catch her in time, but she was not there when I arrived. I frowned to myself, and decided to walk through the bookshelves; maybe I?d be lucky enough to spot her, and I would be able to move in for the kill, so to speak.

I walked in between the shelves, glancing left and right every few seconds at the people hanging out on the outskirts of the room. There were a few people that I recognized strewn throughout the room, but none of them were the woman that I wanted to see. I continued walking, still glancing outward at people, when I realized that I had just passed by the same people I?d seen but a few minutes ago. I had not stopped walking, yet it seemed that I?d just walked in a circle.

?How strange,? I muttered to myself, still walking, but now turning my head in all directions, my eyes darting wildly from book to book. A few minutes later I was [i]still[/i] walking straight ahead, yet I?d made no forward progress at all. For every step I took, the hall of bookshelves seemed to get longer and longer, stretching on into infinity. Slightly unnerved, I looked up at the books I kept passing: There were economics textbooks, cookbooks, ideological books, biographies on people I?d never heard of, and more. There were so many useless books here that I knew that nobody would ever read in their life, and it got to me for some reason.

I broke into a run, desperate to get out of this never ending hall of books. The faster I ran, though, the more the hall stretched on. After a few moments, it began closing in on me, as well. I ran further and further, hoping beyond all hope that dumb luck would see me through, but the hall kept on stretching and closing. At first the bookshelves had been inching towards me, a subtle movement that I had only noticed because my right foot accidentally clipped the shelf on my right side. Now their movement was more noticeable, more frightening. I barely had any room to move now, so I slowed down drastically until I came to a complete stop.

The shelves were mere inches from my body now. I was afraid to move, unsure whether or not my next movement would cause the bookshelves to collapse upon me and crush my body. I was shaking all over, my irrational fear of enclosed spaces suddenly bursting into life. Although there were people still talking and going about their business as all this was going on, I felt utterly alone, caught in some bizarre trap fashioned by bookshelves. My fear nearly paralyzed me, but I somehow willed myself forward slightly. One small step was all it took to get me going again. I gained confidence with every movement, somehow overcoming my fears, and I realized as I kept moving forward, the path widened out once again. After a moment or two, I stepped out from the hall of bookshelves and back into the main area of the fifth floor.

I had but a precious few seconds to wonder what had just happened when she appeared once again, popping out from behind a column and flashing a dazzling smile at me. Once she did that, I?d totally forgotten the ordeal I?d just been through and marched forward determinedly. I reached the column and peeked at where she?d just been, ready to cry out in triumph, but she was not there. I scratched the back of my head in confusion, and then heard a voice whispering from behind me. She was now leaning lazily against the front of one of the bookshelves, looking over her shoulder and grinning mischievously at me. Normally I would have questioned the logic of what had just happened, but my gut, among other body parts, told me to ignore it.

I strode smoothly forward towards the end of the bookshelf, readying my most suave pick-up line possible. When I got there, however, she was gone again, without a trace. I thought this to be extremely peculiar, and glanced around quickly in all directions with a very agitated look on my face. I spotted her once again hanging around by the emergency exit, giggling excitedly at me. I grew very frustrated at this sight, and grew more determined to have her, knowing it would make my conquest that much sweeter.

She turned her head away from me, her hair flinging gracefully through the air, and began skipping past each of the bookshelves. I walked along the path, marking her progress as she passed the open space between each bookshelf. We passed about five or so bookshelves before she failed to emerge past the fifth one. I knew that this was my last chance. If I didn?t get her this time, I?d just give up and try again another day. I jogged forward briskly determined to once and for all have my way. While I wasn?t paying attention, I smacked full-force into a shelf and fell onto the floor; a few books fell onto me that had been lodged loose from the impact.

?Ow,? I groaned to myself, rubbing the back of my head gingerly. I figured that I must have been really off to run head on into one of the bookshelves. Yet, when I looked upwards, I saw that the bookshelf was standing on the very path I?d been taking just now. I had not wavered from my path at all, the shelf had placed itself onto my path! I was understandably freaked out by this and staggered to my feet, eyes wide and mouth agape. I started to back away slowly, but then I bumped back first into yet another bookshelf. I whirled around in a panic, desperately trying not to believe what was happening to me at the moment.

?Okay,? I said to myself. ?Don?t worry about a thing, this is all just some kind of crazy hallucination?just close your eyes for a few moments, open them again, and everything will be all better.? I closed my eyes, waited a few moments, and then opened them again. Each shelf was now closer to me than ever, though I couldn?t tell at first, because the area was completely darkened now; some sort of lid had been put onto the area, blocking off all outside light.

I groped around with my hands, trying against my will to not completely lose my cool. I pushed and shoved with all of my might against the shelves, but they did not budge even an inch. I tried everything I could to get them to move: I slammed them with my fists, I kicked them as hard as I could, I threw all of my weight into them with as much momentum as I could muster in the small amount of space that I had. The bookshelves still stood pat, however. I slumped towards the floor and curled myself up in frustration. Everything was now hitting me all at once ? I didn?t want the girl anymore, I didn?t want to be in this library anymore, and I certainly did not want to be in this closed-up, darkened room anymore. I tried not to think these thoughts for very long, because I knew that they would make me go mad when I realized what I might not ever see again.

I couldn?t help it when I finally snapped, however. Tears began streaming softly down my face, thoughts of my wide-open comfortable home began flooding into my mind, and I pounded the floor in anger and fright. I got colder and colder as each second ran by, my breaths grew sharper and shorter every time I breathed, and I convulsed madly with fright. I couldn?t see a damn thing that was going on and my imagination ran wild ? I could just see the bookshelves closing in on me slowly, crushing me centimeter by centimeter in a slow, unforgiving torture session. I could feel my spinal column collapsing and shattering into the rest of my body as the bookshelves compressed me like an accordion. My heart stopped and started up again every few moments, and I found myself praying to God, apologizing for each and every misdeed I?d ever done in my life.

And then I was back in the light. A crowd of people stood around me, gawking down at my curled up body, obviously wondering what was wrong with me. I was still shivering and sniffling with fear, and I jumped up nervously when someone reached out with their hand to help me back up. The man who tried to help me up threw up his hands in self-defense, likely afraid that I would snap at any moment. I looked around the room wildly. Everything was as it had been when I first emerged from the elevator. All of the shelves were in the right spots, all of the tables were still scattered everywhere, and the green carpet was still rough and hard.

I turned tail and ran for the elevator. I wanted to get out of the library as soon as possible and forget everything that had happened to me just now. I pressed the elevator button frantically, consciously willing it to rise faster so that I could finally leave this place. The red digits rose as the elevator rose along with them; one?two?three?four. I was thanking the Lord by the time the elevator reached the fifth floor. I closed my eyes as the elevator opened, taking in a deep breath, and letting it out slowly in order to calm my nerves. I opened my eyes and began to step forward into the elevator, but I stopped suddenly.

She was waiting for me in the elevator.

She stood alone, grinning innocently and leaning against the bar on the wall. She beckoned me forward with a slow curling of her right index finger, but all I could do was fall flat on my *** as I backed away in fright. Everyone stared at me as I scrambled hastily to my feet, but I didn?t care. All I was concerned about was leaving the library with my life intact. I rushed over to the door leading to the stairs, and ran down them not caring who I bumped into or ran over on the way down. I reached the bottom floor nearly tired out, but I forced myself to go on. I limped comically through the exit, and ran hastily outside of the library towards my next class.

I never saw her again.

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Questions, comments, critique, anything would be appreciated.

[Godelsensei]

[COLOR=Gray][FONT=Courier New]Aside from a few points I made you aware of in our conversation, I love it.

(If any one got to commenting before me, you know I read it first, Shin. xP)

I like how you fail to include the name of the character, or those of any of his friends, hobbies, or interests, yet still manage to give us a clear depiction of his character.

You don't feel like you're missing anything after reading this, and I found myself summing up the presence of the girl to either insanity or some strange effect of his claustrophobia.

Very cool.

You get a cheesecake. : D[/FONT][/COLOR]

[Hevn]

[COLOR=RoyalBlue][SIZE=1][B]*breathes heavily*

That slowly killed me. This story somehow live up to its title, lol.

The fact that the story went by tardily and you went into so much detail made me feel in touch with my own claustrophobia. It's really scary if you think about it and if you have the fear and can relate to it. I was amused in the end though. Good job ^_~ [/B][/SIZE][/COLOR]

[KarmaOfChaos]

[color=deeppink] [size=1]Good stuff, Shin! There's so much interpretive symbolism. What does the girl represent? Obviously something he wants, but for whatever reason, can't have, up until the point where he becomes terrified of having it. Also, it is only when he surrenders that the view of the world returns to normal, which reminds of this story where a girl had to stop fighting her fears and simply surrender to death before it would let her go. Could it be the same thing here, except instead of death, he must surrender to insanity?

Shibbyness.

-Karma[/size][/color]

[Shinmaru]

I figured I should respond to the three of you, because I'm glad you took an interest in the story, and I felt I owed it to you to respond.

[QUOTE=Godelsensei][COLOR=Gray][FONT=Courier New]I like how you fail to include the name of the character, or those of any of his friends, hobbies, or interests, yet still manage to give us a clear depiction of his character.

You don't feel like you're missing anything after reading this, and I found myself summing up the presence of the girl to either insanity or some strange effect of his claustrophobia.[/FONT][/COLOR][/QUOTE]

Yeah, I never really think about any of that stuff while I'm writing a story, it just sort of comes out. It's usually not until I take a look back at it that I realize any of these little quirks and stuff. For this I didn't really realize that I hadn't given the main character a name or anything until the very end lol.

[QUOTE=Hevn][COLOR=RoyalBlue][SIZE=1][B]*breathes heavily*

That slowly killed me. This story somehow live up to its title, lol.

The fact that the story went by tardily and you went into so much detail made me feel in touch with my own claustrophobia. It's really scary if you think about it and if you have the fear and can relate to it. I was amused in the end though. Good job ^_~ [/B][/SIZE][/COLOR][/QUOTE]

Thanks, that's part of what I was going for. I'm not really claustrophobic, myself, so I had no idea whether or not I really nailed the feeling of actual claustrophobia(or metaphoric claustrophobia, as the case is). Good to see that I nailed it somewhat well.

[quote name='KarmaOfChaos][color=deeppink] [size=1]Good stuff, Shin! There's so much interpretive symbolism. What does the girl represent? Obviously something he wants, but for whatever reason, can't have, up until the point where he becomes terrified of having it. Also, it is only when he surrenders that the view of the world returns to normal, which reminds of this story where a girl had to stop fighting her fears and simply surrender to death before it would let her go. Could it be the same thing here, except instead of death, he must surrender to insanity?[/size'][/color][/quote]

The symbolism is definitely the largest part of the story. I won't explain it unless some actually [i]wants[/i] me to, because I'd rather people try and interpret it for themselves, but just about every main aspect of the story has some symbolistic quality to it. I don't think it's that tough to figure out, honestly, but then again I thought it up lol.