Dragon Warrior Posted October 23, 2004 Share Posted October 23, 2004 [center][img]http://www.otakuboards.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=21309&stc=1[/img] [/center] [size=1]This is an idea I had that's a tad silly, I must say. It's a story told through a captain's log. Humorous and silly it will be since I tend to do my best through comedy. It's almost like the blog of a pirate captain. Characters, events, and other such things will be expressed through the captain's thoughts as he jots them down in his book. Without further ado, here it is...[/size] [i][b]Captain's Log[/b] June 28th, 1742[/i] I was docked in the port of Salidus and since my men were patchin' the ship, I decided I'd get a drink or two with my first mate down at the local tavern. When I entered I saw numerous other captains. I was s'posin' they were there just for a good swig and then would tally out of there. [strike]My first mate-[/strike] oh, yeah, you don't know him. Oh, well, blast, I can't erase what I previously wrote. Damned ink! They should make ink that you can erase. Yes, I'll invent that someday. Anyways, first mate Marley... He's a stout fellow. Shorter than me, he is, but I tell ye right now he keeps me in line. If I weren't captain, he'd be it and I'm darned sure he would make a better one at that! [strike]I'd never admit it, though.[/strike] But yeah, he's smart. Good fer him. Now then... These other captains... they were nothin' special. I could sail winds around them with me eyes closed, I could. Why, my own father fought fifty hundred pirates on an island by himself with a toothpick and a pair of scissors. Aye, scissors! Mother's love, they couldn't compare! But enough about me father, what really matters is I, Captain Lucidore Hawkins, am the greatest pirate to ever sail after my father. But other captains had something I didn't. That's right. I didn't have you. My very own captain's log. I ordered Marley to fetch me one. Good thing he did. You will record some of my greatest adventures ever! Yes. Yes, you will. Umm... I'm not sure what to write in you. Yeah, you're a tad boring right now. I think I'll come back tomorrer when more action shall be sure to happen. [i][b]Captain's Log[/b] June 29th, 1742[/i] Not one thing happened. How bloody exciting. Maybe tomorrer will bring the tides of adventure! [i][b]Captain's Log[/b] June 30th, 1742[/i] Wow, I'm stunned from all the events. I'm tellin' ye. Jenk, our newest bilgerat, caught a real rat that had been on board, I'm guessing since Port Aliska. The boys feasted like kings tonight! [i][b]Captain's Log[/b] July 1st, 1742[/i] I killed a large sea monster today. Okay, who am I kidding? I'm bored to the bloody skull. [i][b]Carpet's Lung[/b] Watermelon Juice 1799980[/i] [strike]Boony[/strike] [strike]Bonnie[/strike] [strike]Boogey[/strike] [strike]Barney[/strike] [strike]Benny[/strike] [strike]Boonra[/strike] [strike]Bagels[/strike] [strike]Watermelon[/strike] [strike]Boonrick[/strike] Boonra wuz hear. [img]http://img48.exs.cx/img48/9880/theface.gif[/img] [i][b]Captain's Log[/b] July 2nd, 1742[/i] Damnit, Boonra! I should've keelhauled him when I had the chance. He's the idiot of the crew, bytheway. And did he forget how to spell his name or something? Look at all the mistakes he kept making. C'mon now, that's sad. Oh, and nothing interesting happened. [size=1]I know this isn't terribly funny, but it'll get better once it goes. I just had to start us somewhere ;) And I think you actually become stupid from reading this nonsense.[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... MissWem Posted October 23, 2004 Share Posted October 23, 2004 [COLOR=DarkRed]The carpet's lung confused me XD lol. So I guess the suggestion to come and read your captains logs were really a part of your extraordinary plan to lure people into reading this and becoming stupider than thou... Oh, that is so fox-like of you ^_~[/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... lea Posted October 23, 2004 Share Posted October 23, 2004 Actually, I found it more amusing that not ^_~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Dragon Warrior Posted October 23, 2004 Author Share Posted October 23, 2004 [i][b]Captain's Log[/b] July 3rd, 1742[/i] Finally some action, log! I wasn't too pleased to see it at first, but now I'm glad it happened. The boys needed a wakeup call. Ye see, what happened is a very large monkey boarded our ship. What? No, I don't know how! It was just there! A big, smelly monkey! Actually, it wasn't too smelly. It was rather nice. I was thinkin' it attacked a merchant vessel carrying perfume earlier on. It was indeed a nice thing to have around. It smelt better than the crew, I tell ye now. That's pretty bad. The crew needs a bath. Anyways, I'm getting sidetracked. Now then, the monkey... he was big. He smelt good, but he was a big 'un. All the crew fled aside for myself, Marley, and Boonra (because he's too much of an idiot to know any better). So there we was, me, Marley, God's mistake, and the giant monkey. I wasn't sure what the monkey wanted, but he was goin' bananas. Haha--I made a funny! But in all seriousness, he was going for some bananas. He jumped into our kitchen and stole all our bananas. Now we'll suffer some scurvey! My poor dental plan. That was the last pike, I tell ye. I went down to the galley and kicked that monkey a new red butt, har har! He stood no chance against Cap'n Lucidore Jake Hawkins. Unfortunately for me, the monkey knew kung fu. I know! Who knew monkeys could use kung fu? For one thing, a big, nice-smelling monkey is a tad outlandish, but we were sailing a bit close to the Bermuda Triangle. Well, anyways, just when I thought all was lost, Boonra ran at the monkey. It was incredibly funny to see him get the fishslop beat out of him. But he died. It's sad, I know. Tossed overboard, he was. Oh well. As for Marley and me, we overcame the monkey by making him officer of cleaning the ship. He now is in charge of cleaning the decks and such. Serves him right for what he flings around that deck. Gives a whole new meaning to poopdeck, I tell ye. And if he ever gets out of line, I'll keelhaul him good. But that was pretty much our day. The monkey has been named Mr. Naners. A fitting name, don't ye think? [i][b]Captain's Log[/b] July 4th, 1742[/i] Boonra is alive! Sad, huh? He drifted to the side of our ship this morning. Some of the idiots of our crew decided that we should save him. So I fished him out... and stuck him in a room with Mr. Naners. I thought I was being clever, but turns out Mr. Naners and Boonra are friends now! What in the name of Prosthetic Navels is wrong wit' that picture?! Mr. naners felt sorry for the way he acted and apologized. Boonra, being the fool he is, accepted the apology. They're good buddies now, oh, aye. Well fine, maybe Mr. Naners will keep Boonra out of trouble. And if the Gods smile on me, they'll both choke on their bananas. Oy... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... MissWem Posted October 24, 2004 Share Posted October 24, 2004 [COLOR=DarkRed]0_0 oh dear me, the suspense is just getting too much!! Whatever will happen next in the Captain's crazy carousel of pirating, giant nice-smelling monkeys and "keelhauling"?!?!?[/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Create an account or sign in to comment You need to be a member in order to leave a comment Create an account Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy! 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MissWem Posted October 23, 2004 Share Posted October 23, 2004 [COLOR=DarkRed]The carpet's lung confused me XD lol. So I guess the suggestion to come and read your captains logs were really a part of your extraordinary plan to lure people into reading this and becoming stupider than thou... Oh, that is so fox-like of you ^_~[/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lea Posted October 23, 2004 Share Posted October 23, 2004 Actually, I found it more amusing that not ^_~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragon Warrior Posted October 23, 2004 Author Share Posted October 23, 2004 [i][b]Captain's Log[/b] July 3rd, 1742[/i] Finally some action, log! I wasn't too pleased to see it at first, but now I'm glad it happened. The boys needed a wakeup call. Ye see, what happened is a very large monkey boarded our ship. What? No, I don't know how! It was just there! A big, smelly monkey! Actually, it wasn't too smelly. It was rather nice. I was thinkin' it attacked a merchant vessel carrying perfume earlier on. It was indeed a nice thing to have around. It smelt better than the crew, I tell ye now. That's pretty bad. The crew needs a bath. Anyways, I'm getting sidetracked. Now then, the monkey... he was big. He smelt good, but he was a big 'un. All the crew fled aside for myself, Marley, and Boonra (because he's too much of an idiot to know any better). So there we was, me, Marley, God's mistake, and the giant monkey. I wasn't sure what the monkey wanted, but he was goin' bananas. Haha--I made a funny! But in all seriousness, he was going for some bananas. He jumped into our kitchen and stole all our bananas. Now we'll suffer some scurvey! My poor dental plan. That was the last pike, I tell ye. I went down to the galley and kicked that monkey a new red butt, har har! He stood no chance against Cap'n Lucidore Jake Hawkins. Unfortunately for me, the monkey knew kung fu. I know! Who knew monkeys could use kung fu? For one thing, a big, nice-smelling monkey is a tad outlandish, but we were sailing a bit close to the Bermuda Triangle. Well, anyways, just when I thought all was lost, Boonra ran at the monkey. It was incredibly funny to see him get the fishslop beat out of him. But he died. It's sad, I know. Tossed overboard, he was. Oh well. As for Marley and me, we overcame the monkey by making him officer of cleaning the ship. He now is in charge of cleaning the decks and such. Serves him right for what he flings around that deck. Gives a whole new meaning to poopdeck, I tell ye. And if he ever gets out of line, I'll keelhaul him good. But that was pretty much our day. The monkey has been named Mr. Naners. A fitting name, don't ye think? [i][b]Captain's Log[/b] July 4th, 1742[/i] Boonra is alive! Sad, huh? He drifted to the side of our ship this morning. Some of the idiots of our crew decided that we should save him. So I fished him out... and stuck him in a room with Mr. Naners. I thought I was being clever, but turns out Mr. Naners and Boonra are friends now! What in the name of Prosthetic Navels is wrong wit' that picture?! Mr. naners felt sorry for the way he acted and apologized. Boonra, being the fool he is, accepted the apology. They're good buddies now, oh, aye. Well fine, maybe Mr. Naners will keep Boonra out of trouble. And if the Gods smile on me, they'll both choke on their bananas. Oy... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... MissWem Posted October 24, 2004 Share Posted October 24, 2004 [COLOR=DarkRed]0_0 oh dear me, the suspense is just getting too much!! Whatever will happen next in the Captain's crazy carousel of pirating, giant nice-smelling monkeys and "keelhauling"?!?!?[/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Create an account or sign in to comment You need to be a member in order to leave a comment Create an account Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy! Register a new account Sign in Already have an account? Sign in here. Sign In Now Share More sharing options... Followers 0 Go to topic listing
MissWem Posted October 24, 2004 Share Posted October 24, 2004 [COLOR=DarkRed]0_0 oh dear me, the suspense is just getting too much!! Whatever will happen next in the Captain's crazy carousel of pirating, giant nice-smelling monkeys and "keelhauling"?!?!?[/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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