Writing "Don't worry, she'll eat it." [PG-disturbing thoughts]

[Engel]

“Don’t worry, she’ll eat it.”

“What was that?”

“Oh, nothing.”

His eyes flashed up towards the dark rafters of his downtown loft as he came back from the kitchen. He had been preoccupied with the ceiling all evening, throwing nervous glances up at the shadows above them. But Natasha didn’t care. It wasn’t very often that an anti-social girl like her got a date with a handsome man, no matter how odd he may have acted at times.

“What is this?” She pointed to a small bowl of syrupy substance.

“Eggs.”

“Hmm?”

“Caviar. Fish eggs, you know. A delicacy, but some people don’t like them. Try ‘em out.”

The small spheres crunched and splattered within her mouth, getting in between her teeth and tickling her tongue. With one swallow, she lit up and started to eat the whole bowl.

“Have you ever desired children?” he asked as she ate. She shrugged. He continued. “I love children. I always wanted them. Hundreds of them, if that were possible. Just think of it. All those beady little eyes glaring up at you, eagerly awaiting you to feed them, nurse them.” His eyes grew round as she finished the bowl of food, and they darted up towards the ceiling and back down to her face. She began to feel sick in the stomach, and got up to go to the bathroom.

As she ran, she glanced up at where her date had been looking all evening. It was dark for sure, and she couldn’t be positive, but she fancied a shape clinging above her. It wasn’t possible, because it was the size of a large dog, but it looked like a spider…

[Flashlight]

I like. It really had me intrigued and at the end I was honestly wondering what happened next, and that's no small feat considering the short length of the story. I do hope you continue it.

One thing I didn't like though:

"His eyes flashed up towards the dark rafters of his downtown loft as he came back from the kitchen."

His his he. Repetition is never a good thing. Use other small words like 'the' to avoid this in circumstances like these, or if you can leave out 'he' or whatever small word it is altoghether.

I love the mystery. What was up there? Why did it want her to eat the eggs? What kind of eggs are those, or are they even eggs? Oh wait, are they spider eggs, and she's going to birth hundereds of spiders now!?!

It's been a while since I've been interested in a story like this, a long while, so great job! Will you be continuing this work?

[Squall]

Not bad, very intruiging. Hooked me into wanting to read on, even though it is fairly short. I didn't really like how the giant spider-thing was hinted at at the end, though. But other then that, nice work.