Ever been 'Not Enough'?

[wrist cutter]

[quote name='Pumpkin']For the people who dont have parents that care, you end up growing a stronger person.[/quote]

It's exactly because my parents care that they don't babysit my *** through college.

[quote name='Pumpkin']As for this that is someones own choice, and not for you to critize. If people make mistakes, that is there problem but they dont need you to voice your views on it. Period.[/quote]

And I don't need you voicing your views about me voicing my views.

[James]

[quote name='wrist cutter']But the problem is often that they CAN work at that level, they just don't want to exude the extra effort. This is demonstrated by quite a few posts in this thread.[/quote]

[color=#707875]That's somewhat true, but it's also a vast overexaggeration. Let me give you an example.

A friend of mine back in high school was in an accelerated learning class; he worked insanely hard. He definitely worked longer hours than the rest of us put together.

However, his mother in particular was continually pressuring him to work harder and harder. The end result is that she quite often barred him from having [i]any[/i] social life whatsoever. If he ever dared bring a friend home after school (and he only lived a few houses down from the school itself), she would rant at him about how he should be working and not bringing friends over, in front of the friends themselves. Obviously, apart from the pressure, that also caused a great deal of embarassment for him.

It's true to say that this was an extreme case. And I'm willing to bet that many of the people in this thread are probably exaggerating their situations (as many teenagers will tend to do). [i]However[/i], I don't think it's helpful to over-simplify matters either.

Not only are we really unable to determine what the reality is in each case (because we aren't there ourselves), but we must also recognize that each person has a different limit on what they can handle.

In regard to the working for the apartment and the car...I don't know what the context of that was, so I can only say that this is an obvious realization, lol. I mean, [i]of course[/i] you have to work for those things. If that is a stumbling block for anyone, then that person isn't going to have fun in the real world.[/color]

[Lunai]

[font=comic sans ms][color=goldenrod]Well, I don't know about most of you but I grew up in a somewhat metally abusive environment. My godmother made me feel as if I didn't do anything right, even though I was getting As and Bs while I was in school. As far as housework went...one teenager in a house full of 7 adults and I was the only person who would wash dishes.

My mother, on the other hand, is a totally different story. Neither of us like to clean, but we're both trying to get in the habit (especially since I've started seeing someone who is in the millitary), but other than that she never makes me feel as if I'm not good enough...she just wants me to be happy, and learn what life is about for myself. Otherwise I might be having a worse time of it right now at the age of 20.[/font][/color]

[Delta]

[COLOR=DarkRed][SIZE=1][quote name='Eikou][COLOR=SlateGray][SIZE=1]And now, whatever I do...I feel as though I failed, because I am his only student that has to get more help them anyone else. I'm five years behind his other students. It makes me feel a bit ignorant and dumb.[/SIZE'][/COLOR][/quote]
Hey, not everyone can be good at everything. Focus on what you're really good at (Though it's also good if one tries something he/she's not exactly a genius at. Build up your other skills, I say.)

[quote name='Pumpkin][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=1] and I hate how everyone feels that the only way you can succeed is by going to college. College is NOT for everyone. People can make good money without college, and i dont feel it makes you higher then someone else. [/FONT'][/SIZE][/quote]
Amen. I really think I shouldn't be in college but a lot of people aren't so why waste this opportunity? I'm pretty good at Geology and am being offered jobs even as an undergraduate but really, I'd rather fall into a lavaflow than be underemployed.

I wonder how well we'd do in school if our parents did the exact opposite (push/not push us into working harder)? Would it make a difference?

[quote name='Lunai][font=comic sans ms][color=goldenrod]My mother... she never makes me feel as if I'm not good enough...she just wants me to be happy, and learn what life is about for myself.[/font'][/color][/quote]
Meow! Are our mothers related?
I'd probably raise my kid in the same way. She believes that if one forces things into another's brain, the latter won't be able to learn it properly (especially in my case).

I say college, though easier, is waaay drearier than high school.

Love and Peace!
[/SIZE][/COLOR]

[Erika]

[quote name='Pumpkin][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=1]...Ii have to work for my own car, i have to work for my apartment...[/FONT'][/SIZE][/quote]

[quote name='wrist cutter']Like everyone else? Boohoo.[/quote]

[size=1][color=royalblue]I'm sure she meant that her parents won't be helping her out on it.[/color][/size]

[Pumpkin]

[QUOTE=James][color=#707875]
In regard to the working for the apartment and the car...I don't know what the context of that was, so I can only say that this is an obvious realization, lol. I mean, [i]of course[/i] you have to work for those things. If that is a stumbling block for anyone, then that person isn't going to have fun in the real world.[/color][/QUOTE]

[FONT=Verdana][SIZE=1] On that note, It wasnt a realization for me, was just stating its the normal for everyone, atleast almost everyone, there will always be that someone that has their car bought by mommy and daddy and never learn that value. [/FONT][/SIZE]

[QUOTE=Eternity] Amen. I really think I shouldn't be in college but a lot of people aren't so why waste this opportunity? I'm pretty good at Geology and am being offered jobs even as an undergraduate but really, I'd rather fall into a lavaflow than be underemployed.

I wonder how well we'd do in school if our parents did the exact opposite (push/not push us into working harder)? Would it make a difference?
[/QUOTE]

[FONT=Verdana][SIZE=1] BTW forgot to add that college is not a bad thing at all, infact its probably one of the best things you could do after HS Just hated how people state that if you dont go to college that somehow means your a loser? no. it doesnt. but yes its good that your parents encourage you to do so, but i dont believe in the ones that blame you if your not going to college. some people just dont have their heart into it, maybe they are pursuing something that requires attention elsewhere? music? dance? who knows. Whatever it may be, there will always be people who look down on you. But who cares. its your life, and not theres. [/FONT][/SIZE]

[lcrisler]

Duo, all I can honestly say is do your best and learn what lessons you can from these experiences to make it easier when you face something similar. I don't know you, so I don't know how bad you have it, but the only one I've heard that could probably even come close to my childhood might be Anatema. As bad as I've had it, I still say that being a big kid is even harder. Then, you have work, bills, and people that you have to handle yourself. If you're trying hard in school but getting average grades, it doesn't mean you suck, and I'm sure that there's other things going on in your life that will prove that. Try bringing that up to your parents , maybe, and in the meantime, keep putting forth the effort that way you won't get into the habit of being lazy. That's about all I can say that would be constructive.

[Lady_Rin]

Being a parent of teens I can say that while we do what we think is right it is not always right. By the time most parents learn this it is too late, many never learn. Of two teens at home one is a hardworker and the other won't even try to do anything and she's older. Like other parents we are always asking ourselves, "Where did we fail with Mu"?

Most of the books published are usless after a child starts school and that makes parenting a do-it-yourself thing. Unfortunatley it's not like fixing a broken sink.

Most parents will never say this to you. It is something we learned the hard way and now I say it to all three children. Today I say it to you, "We are very sorry; we truly do want only the best for you".

[Lunai]

Lady_Rin[quote]Most parents will never say this to you. It is something we learned the hard way and now I say it to all three children. Today I say it to you, "We are very sorry; we truly do want only the best for you".[/quote]

[font=comic sans ms][color=purple]In this I know that I am one of the luckier ones. Growing up was hard for me: I was living in a psychologically and physically abusive situation with my godmother and her family, I was removed from school (which was something I was good at and I enjoyed) and I was lied to about whether or not my mother wanted me.

But now, 2 years after I left that situation, my mother always makes me feel as though this statement is true. She never judges. Never tells me that I'm stupid or wrong or anything like that. She supports me, gives me advice, and asks me my opinion. Every day.

But I know people who have parents who don't do this. My grandmother is one of those parents. But they love you, in most situations (parents who don't are furhter & farther inbetween than you might think). And sometimes you have to wait until you're older to see it. Or for your parents to see that they are doing you more harm than good.[/font][/color]