Writing My Poem (M)

[CaptainAnarchy]

You may think she's so beautiful,
All dolled up in Coach,
With those pristine lips and flawless skin,
You may think she's so beautiful,
But no beauty lies within.

You may think she's so beautiful,
In her custom tailored dress,
With those shiny tresses and svelte shape,
You may think she's so beautiful,
But no beauty lies within.

She snuffs,
She puffs,
Then has just a few ritzes for dinner,
After she vomits,
For hope she'll get thinner.

You may see a movie star,
But I see an ill woman,
You may be jealous
For her looks,
And I'll admit she's pretty,too.
But there isn't anything pretty
About those rosy cheeks turning
Sickly blue.

She's never been happy,
She's always been blue,
So she snorts little crystals,
For an artificial happiness,
For a joy that's untrue.

You may think she's so beautiful,
Waving to all her fans,
With those long eyelashes and designer shoes,
You may think she's so beautiful,
But no beauty lies within.

Its very amateur, but I'm a 6th grader 0_0, whatcha expect?

C'mon everybody! I want some feedback, positive or not...you can say it sucks and I have no talent and I will still be happy you bothered:)

[font=Verdana][size=1][color=red]Please do not double post. Simply edit the original post to include the new message. ^_^ -- Lady Asphyxia[/color][/size][/font]

[Mirushi]

[COLOR=Navy]You do have talent. It's just not a topic I would normally pick to write about. But it's good all the same.[/COLOR]