Manga Sutaru's Gateway? (A manga that I can't think of a name for)

[naota]

[COLOR=Sienna][SIZE=1] Well, I have always wanted to make a ninja comic book before so I am going to attemp to make this one.
~*~_____________________________________________________________~*~
- In the days when ninjas roamed there was a ninja named Sutaru Derukasu. He was no special ninja he was just a teenage ninja that was one day walking through his village coming back from his ninja academy when a big portal opened up right infront of him. It looked like a huge black hole except that it was navy blue with some shades of red in it and it was spinning furiously and fast. This portal was blowing out very warm air and then multiple big dark green arms started to stick out of the portal. Then a man that was glowing red jumped out of the portal with the arms trying to hold him back. But he still jumped out of the portal then landed by sliding across the ground. Thats when a glowing red key in his hand became visible.

The red man held up the key and pointed it to the big portal and out shot a red beam that hit the portal and closed it. The red man turned around and saw the ninja there standing still just watching in amazement. In the blink of an eye the red man disappeared then in another blink of an eye he reappeared in front of Sutaru. He hit Sutaru in the head with the front part of the key and knocked him out and then disappeared into the air. When this ninja wakes up he is in bandages in a strangers house.
_______________________________~*~_________________________________
- A long story short this is about a teenage ninja Delugar who gets clonked in the head and then his head will get a marking on it which is a gateway and monsters from an unknown world starts to come out of it. This is when he starts to search for the man that came out of the portal to get some questions answered. When "the man" found this out he started his own team of criminals to make sure he gets killed.
~*~_____________________________________________________________~*~
- Yeah poor storyline ehh..............yeah I am bad with those..........and also to sticking with one online manga at a time lol. Well lets just say the last online manga pages I did were a preperation for this one. Well comment this if you like.[/SIZE][/COLOR]

[Dielover]

I think the begining plot is good, but the story line moves too quickly. That and it makes little sense. I hope you don't think I am being rude. I have one question. When another one of those lines appear the ones that look like ~*~_______________________________~*~ does that mean it's a differant story or is that just a divider? :confuse2: