American Beauty

[eleanor]

[i]Bull, I say. Bull. Show me an overweight male model. Go ahead, look through any magazines you have lying around. I can weight wait. Turn on the TV to E!. Nothing?
Okay, now I want the ladies out there to be honest. Have any of you ever been more attracted to a guy who was in shape, as opposed to an overweight guy? Judging by the casts of most TV shows, I'm willing to bet men are held to the same standards as women.[/i]

[color=darkslateblue] If you read my post completely, I think you would have gotten the idea that I was talking about things like begin five-pounds overweight and such, and I'm talking about real people, not models. [obviously we shouldn't even bring the topic of how any model looks like when we're talking about regular people]

Guy=he's five pounds overweight. No one cares. Someone compares him to a guy who's not overweight. No one still cares.

Girl=she's five pounds overweight and we compare to a girl who's not. Do the math.

So it's not really bull at all. The five pounds thing is probably an extreme, but it happens a lot. Let's take it to ten pounds overweight.

Seriously, no one will really care if a guy is ten pounds overweight. You don't see many people who walk down a street a look a guy who's ten pounds overweight and think 'ew, he's fat' because 1) he's a guy and 2) guy clothing doesn't consist of skin tight pants and shirts.

Now, let's say a girl who was ten pounds overweight walked down a street. This may sound cruel, but she's not big enough to not wear tight clothing and not small enough to actually look great in it either. She feels compels to, anyway. She does. And people notice.

But let me say that I'm not trying to be mean, here. It's just that most guys like skinny girls. Sure, there are tons that like the more shapely ones, but still there are more guys who like the skinny ones. And while guys may feel comfortable with being overweight, you will never have any idea how it is to be an overweight girl. Even the ones who try to be proud of their body are just beaten down because guys refuse to like them and are teased for it. And like I said before, insults dealing with physical appearance are huge blows for most girls.

Which brings up the point that it matters to girls more anyway. Ever walked into a girl's clothing store? See any baggy shirts or pants? No. It's like we're here to look pretty and stand there so guys can look at us and say, 'wow, she's pretty.' Although for most girls it's a fun thing to do, it's also somewhat demeaning if you think about it.[/color]

[Erika]

[size=1][color=royalblue]I'm just considered average: 5'6 and 130-35 lbs. There's more to weight than just [i]fat[/i]. There's muscle, bone size, etc. etc.

My bones are most likely between medium and large. I have saddlebags, whoopdeedoo. I'm a 34A. I have childbearing hips, albeit I won't ever have more than one kid. Y'know, I didn't ask for all this, but I am gonna deal with it, even if I do feel a bit out of porportion. Although I'm a girl, I'm not too accquainted with my size. Womens, juniors, blah. If something fits, I just get it, lol. Most of my pants are a little too big in the waist, but a little snug in the butt (and that drives me crazy).

Yeah, it wouldn't hurt for me to get up and get active on a normal basis, lol, I could use the toning, but I'm not gonna consider myself a Klump.

I can wear an average pair of Mudd bellbottoms, a screen tee, and people will voluntarily compliment me (my close friends and family members especially, and I know they're not doing it to be nice...and I have a critical sister, lol). I never ask for anyone's opinions to begin with (unless I'm feeling curious). If I think I don't look good in somethin', [i]I won't wear it,[/i] even if other people oppose.

Basically, I try to look my best, and I know what my best is. Because of my butt and everything, I have a hard time finding jeans/pants than don't make the worst stand out, so I solve the problem by finding pants whose bottoms are as or a bit wider than my hips. As for my tummy, the only time I can't stand it is when I'm on my period, and I feel like some queen termite that hardly moves, or I just got through eating a meal.

I guess it depends on the person's metabolism, lol. I gain a few, lose a few...it never stays, lol. It can range from 125 (when I'm sad/lonely/hurt and lose my appetite) to a healthy 135 lbs.

But like I said, I'm just average. Not really slim, but not overweight, not even by a pound. I'm active in general, but I don't get out much, lol...I guess that explains why I'm pale XD My diet...well, I'm just one of those "organic hippies", for the lack of a better word, so I guess I'm not overweight at all because I rarely eat junk, let alone pork or fried crap.

Y'know, for the people with low self-esteem, just limit your crappy food intake, or eliminate it completely. If you have energy to spare, but hate workouts and wandering around your town/neighborhood (or have no none to do it with, lol) at least vent it out with housework and/or yardwork (or even find work, or learn to enjoy your job, rather than drag yourself through it). Y'know, help people out. When I'm just too relaxed, I play my games. But I do love helping out people, and yeah, the occasional walk feels pretty damn good.

Ok, to wrap up my idiotically long-winded post, don't worry about what other people look like. As long as you enjoy your lifestyle and you yourself (because it IS your life, and you are your own person), there shouldn't be a reason to worry about other peoples'. But don't get too carried away with things that cause you to gain weight/any other health issues. You should know what those are.

Basically, eliminate the cause, not the effects.[/color][/size]

[DeathBug]

Here's my question: Who is it that finds these stick-wimmin attractive? I don't, and several people here have said they don't, yet obviously *someone* has to, or the image wouldn't propogate.

There are signs of change, though; new manniquens are supposed to have enhanced posteriors, similar to J-Lo or Byonce. The times, they are a changin'.

[Lady_Rin]

I think I'm missing something. The deleted/edited posts sort of lose the trail/thread for me.and may have been relevant.

Go back in time a to the turn of the 20th century and start looking at photos of the women of that time. Look at Jean Harlow, Clara Bow, Marlene Dietrich. By todays standards, and I here this from Ky, they're fat, overweight, obese, not attractive? Take your choice. On the other hand we sit here watching some old movie from the 30s and Ranger will say about someone like Mary Pickford, Ruby Keeler or even Una Merkle, She's a hottie or some other comment that says he thinks they are very sexy. I have asked him if he could would he take any of them to bed? [size=1]Most women would get jealous being told this[/size] He said yes without a doubt. He has also said the same about women from the 40s while our son, Ky, says... you know.. too fat.

When you get married you shall notice your husbands eyes wandering, Ranger does and he's not always looking at girls with tiny arses and big tits. [size=1]Lore, if you edit this I'm not going to be very happy. It is relevant and is art.[/size] I've watched other men, same thing.

Nancy and Amy , sisters, are what your would call big girls. Amy dresses in tight clothes that make her look terrible. She does he get "hit" on, mostly by the bikers, costruction people and the marines. Amy is a UPS driver. Nancy on the other hand wears clothes that fit properly works in a doctors office and looks very attractive whenever I see her despite the fact she weighs about 150. You can ask her husband about that, they can't keep their hands off each other.

Girls who are worried about your weight or appearence should be aware that being attrractive is a curse as w as it always attracts undue attention. Sometimes I think it's my curse to be attractive, I really do. I 'm petite, a B-cup and Ranger can pick me up since I weigh ~105. I am also 41, the mother of 3 and a new grandmother (six months, her name is Talia). Still I am the subject of catcalls from men/boys not only older but much younger than me and I am really tired of being grabbed and having my bottom felt by anyone with wandering hands when we go to the Alamo (local pub). I like to cosplay, that's the term used here, however I do it anytime I want, even at work. It's not the way anime cosplay is. I can wear school unforms, (one of them is from where my school) such as a skirt, bolero and blazer or a pretty sailor type dress, not the schoolgirl sailor uniform with midi blouse, and that makes other women in my office jealous of me. Then there are the geeky types where I work. We go into the field and I find them trying to look up my dress or down a blouse and the hands again even in a place where I get told if I hug someone it's sexual harrassment.

My dept head, Mrs H, doesn't like the way I dress or appear at all, she also doesn't like my popularity, I'm just naturally friendly that's all. That may be one of the reasons I have not had a promotion in three years and my raises have been minimal. BTW. Mrs H is a good looking women. *thought* and that may be the reason. She's a woman and I'm a girl. Amy's a woman and Nancy's a girl. Laura (a hottie according to my son) is a woman and Wendy is a girl. I just realized; of these women/girls, married or not, attractive or not, overweight, big boned or not, the "girls" are the ones approached by men.

Ranger has been reading this as I write it and he agrees. He says, "Men would rather hit on girls than women". That is something that has never occured to me.

If you feel you're unattrractive do something about it. Lose weight, if you can't do that try clothes, a new hairs style, a change in your makeup. Watch the makeover shows. Instead of buying a new DVD work spend it on what makes you attractive.

Try to do what I and my friends do.






[FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=DeepSkyBlue][CENTER]Be a girl!
Use that "gurl" power I see everywhere. [size=1]I don' like the spelling[/size] and remember...

[COLOR=deepPink]Lady Rin may not always be a lady, however she is always a girl.[/COLOR]
[/CENTER] [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

This took too long and have to go to work.

Ta

[ChibiHorsewoman]

[color=darkviolet]Yes it's true that most women in the media (ie models, actresses, 'Reality Show' contestants) are astetically pleasing with good bodies, many of the men are too. But then you have the guys on shows like King of Queens with man boobs or that guy who walked around naked on Survivor who wasn't really that good looking or in shape. But they're either have supposed to been good looking to someone (Doug and Kerry on King of Queens) or just show that no matter how fat you are it's better to have good self esteem.


On that note, has anyone ever looked through the personal ads in their local paper? If you haven't you really should do so some time. It'[s a real eye opener because it shows that what both men and women will find attractive and seek out in eachother is as diverse as everyone out there. Need proof, here's a sample from a few personals:

Attractive White Male seeks an attractive female 45-60 for adventure and fun

Sm seeks woman with pierced tongue

This MBM is looking for the hairiest hairy white woman. If you are a white woman with lots and lots of hair all over your body, call me


Seriously I'm not making this up. My point is taht although you may not find yourself beautiful someoen else does. And if someone else doesn't find you beautiful, just tell them where to stick it.[/color]

[MissWem]

[QUOTE=DeathBug]Here's my question: Who is it that finds these stick-wimmin attractive? I don't, and several people here have said they don't, yet obviously *someone* has to, or the image wouldn't propogate.

There are signs of change, though; new manniquens are supposed to have enhanced posteriors, similar to J-Lo or Byonce. The times, they are a changin'.[/QUOTE]
[COLOR=DarkRed]I know of one.. lucky for him he's in another country but the fact that makes him so dangerous is also the fact he is a player. He just knows how to get girls and one of my friends happened to be a victim of his charms and he told her she was fat. He literally told her she was too fat (which I'll be damned if she was -_-) and then told her he didn't like her hair short it had to be long so she grew it out..

Sure she didn't have to listen to him but we know what it's like to be young (13-14 in this case) and be absolutely smitten with a gorgeous/popular guy that everyone else just wants a piece of.

*sarcasm*His effect on her was less than tragic, it resulted in years of ongoing eating disorders to which she's a lot better now but one can never fully recover from something like that.

There maybe another one of those guys I do know who's in the same country however he doesn't tell the girls what they should look like or not, he merely picks the pretty ones and I assure you he can. He's extremely good-looking to the majority of girls and he knows how to use it.

I think it's well propagated. Girls see guys they want and see the girls around them (most likely thin "pretty" ones) and emmulate it. The insecurites are most dangerous as a young teenager, it's all so new to them : O[/COLOR]

[Zeta]

[quote name='Baron Samedi][size=1]Sadly, I do feel that this thread is underrating many men. It's not like every guy wants a skinny girl. But, generally, they're the outspoken minority; and thats why we have this problem. There is a difference between being fat, and being well-proportioned. And I think many girls [esp. insecure girls] do not recognise this. Different girls, of different weights can be attractive. Provided that they aren't overly fat, it [weight] doesn't bother me. Weight is such a small part in terms of attraction. And when you add any relationship or personality factor into the equation, the relevance fades even further. On a scale of 1 [skinny] to 10 [fat'] I'd prefer anyone from 3-8. But, thats only in terms of weight. There is much more to a girl than that.[/size][/quote]


I'm sorry I am not buying that. Every guy I know says that exact same thing, even I do, and when it all boils down to it we don't follow it. I myself would go around to all my friends and would say that looks don't matter to me as long as they have a great personality and what not, but ultimately it ends with me saying no because they aren't "hot" enough for me. Everyone says that and when it comes time for that to show, many don't follow what they say.

I myself have run across women who claim they are fat when they truly aren't. Asuka mentioned one, but there are also many, many girls in my new school that randomly say "I need to lose weight." When they say that I look over out of curiosity and my mouth drops. These girls don't need to lose weight. They say things like that when right across from there is someone who does have to lose weight (pardon me if I sound rude) and that person just glares at them.

I believe that the media has a small part in the way girls think, but they are not entirely at fault. I agree with wrist cutter on not wanting ugly women on T.V. Even if he was being sarcastic I am not. What draws us to the movies? The plot and action and stuff. Now if there was just this huge guy/woman in an Indian Jones type of film, no one would want to see it, least they want to be entertained immensely. I also agree with his girls saying they are fat to fit in comment.

[Lady_Rin]

ChibiHorsewoman is absolutely correct. Here's your hug for today and a star that glows in the dark as stars should.

[CaptainAnarchy]

Pfftt...If I were a man I wouldn't judge a girl on weight. As long as a girl is nice and loves you, then guys, you should love her back.

[Adahn]

[font=Courier New][size=2][color=blue]If the first thing I notice about a girl is that she's fat, I won't consider a romantic relationship with her. I just can't be attracted to someone like that.[/color][/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][size=2][color=#0000ff][/color][/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][size=2][color=#0000ff]However, I have a thing for nice, innocent girls. If someone doesn't strike me immediately as attractive, but later on I get to know them and see innocence and kindness, that person seems attractive to me.[/color][/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][size=2][color=#0000ff][/color][/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][size=2][color=#0000ff]But, I've fallen in love, so I don't have to worry about that anymore :love: [/color][/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][color=#0000ff][/color][/font]

[Baron Samedi]

[size=1][quote name='Zeta']I'm sorry I am not buying that. Every guy I know says that exact same thing, even I do, and when it all boils down to it we don't follow it. I myself would go around to all my friends and would say that looks don't matter to me as long as they have a great personality and what not, but ultimately it ends with me saying no because they aren't "hot" enough for me. Everyone says that and when it comes time for that to show, many don't follow what they say.[/quote]

Well, thats your ******* problem, isn't it?

I'm not saying I'll go for 'fat' girls. I will go for girls within an acceptable limit, because within that limit, girls can appeal to me. So, stop putting your personal template on everyone else, and move on.[/size]