Manga please tell me what you think

[Dielover]

I'm a little scared but i think i will post my manga idea up. So here it goes.
It starts off in the house of a family of humans who have taken in a yokai child. In this village all men at the age of 16 are required to carry a sword in order to protect the village from yokia. Chiu, a 16 year old yokai is against killing and refuses to help protect the government that killed his foster father. His mother convinces him to at least go to the cermony and recive his blade. Once there, whle giving Chiu his blade, the master blacksmith tries to kill him, but Chiu's brother, Yungsung swiftly kills the man. The cermony goes on, but once at home Chiu finds out that he must go with his brother on a quest to kill his father who kill his real mother and tried to kill him. While traveling they meet a young 17 year old girl who is fighting a snake yokai. When she is injured Yngsung and Chiu try to help, but after the girl shoots the yokai with an arrow she tells them to stay out of her fights. Yungsung mentions their father, a yokai with eyes the color of blood and the girl, who we later learn her name is Komia, tags along to avenge her village.

I have much more, but i want to see if you like it so far. If you don't like it please feel free to trample all over it. :D

[Miyoko-chan]

[COLOR=DeepSkyBlue][FONT=Arial]That sounds very interesting. The only thing I would change would be to add a little more originality. I think one of my friends came up with a very similar story. A good suggestion would be to give your characters a few quirks to make them stand out.
Hope that helps!! ^_^[/FONT][/COLOR]

[Dielover]

Thanks for the idea's. I have only begun to tell you about my charcters. They have very interesting personalites. I hope other people reply and I will post some more soon. :D

[Guest maniac320]

hmm... not bad. not bad at all. i had a friend read it and he says that it is great. i think that a little bit more of a twist later on would make it much more interesting and make the reader hooked. keep up the good work :)

[Dielover]

Oh there are many twists. I have already written four stories. I write out a script before i do the drawing. I just don't feel confident about my drawing so writing is very fun. ;)