Writing The Legend of Otaku Hollow [PG-13]

[Dragon Warrior]

[CENTER][IMG]http://img130.exs.cx/img130/9282/otakuhollow.jpg[/IMG][/center]

Welcome to my newest insane story. If you can't tell, it kind of is like a Legend of Sleepy Hollow parody. But it really isn't. Well, I guess it is. Maybe not. Who knows. Read it ;^D

And for those who wanna know what it's about, here's a short summary: a crazed being is running around Otaku[b]Boards[/b] and banning members with a ModRod. Now James with the help of a few other familiar OB members must figure out this mystery.

[size=5][b]Chapter 1: The Banning[/b][/size] [size=2]It was a dark night. The setting was a tad melancholy with a stroke of hideous silence. The atmosphere was lit with light fog, but it was enough to obscure the vision of travelers through the forest’s wake. Leh was one of those travelers unfortunate to be out in these particular woods at this time. “Dum dee dum dum dum,” he hummed as he made his way down the moss-covered trail. “What a wonderful night to take one of my dark forest midnight walks.” That’s when a rustle came from within the brush. Leh stopped short and turned slowly to the creator of the noise. When he saw nothing, he continued his travels, only more cautious than before. Nevertheless, the sound was produced again causing Leh to jump and turn around to find nothing once more. His curiosity, however, did not get the best of him and he rushed down the trails like a sissy. He was making good time since his sprinting was in a league of its own, but he ended up running right into the source of the odd noises in the brush. It was a tall, scary, cloaked man with a rod. His face was shadowed and masked. “Are-are you a masked murderer?” asked innocent Leh, his stuttering forming from his crazed fear. “What gave you that idea?” replied the cloaked man, playing dumb. “Well, you have a large, flowing dark cloak and a mask and an evil-looking rod and you’re wandering around in scary woods looking quite threatening.” “What? Noooo,” laughed the masked man. “I’m no masked murderer. I’m a… er… well… I’m a… blast, what’s an occupation… er… I’m a lawyer! Yes, that’s it. I’m a lawyer!” “OMG!!!11!!1!” shouted Leh, not bothering to use proper grammar and spell checker. The little Otaku member rushed away from the ‘lawyer’ and through the cornfields outside of the town of Otaku Hollow. Upon emerging from the field, he arrived at Ben’s farm. He ran to his friend who was oddly outside working on his barn. “vBen, yuo’ve gotta lehp m3!/” Ben held Leh in his arms and shook him until his senses cleared. “Leh, you look terrible,” said Ben in his wise tones. “What happened? Calm down and use proper grammar.” “Okay,” agreed Leh and he took a deep breath. “There’s a lawyer after me!” “A what?!” Ben screamed. “A lawyer!” Leh repeated. “A lawyer?!” quoted Ben. “A lawyer!” “A lawyer?” “A lawyer!?” “You’re being chased by a lawyer?” “Yes, I think we’ve established that I’m being chased by a lawyer. Will you help me already?” Ben nodded and pushed Leh towards his large barn. That’s when the lawyer emerged from the cornfields. “I was kidding. I’m not a lawyer. I’m a masked murderer, I swear!” Ben ran into the barn and emerged with his shotgun. He pushed Leh back inside. “Stay inside, Leh,” Ben said before cocking the gun. “These guys are dangerous.” “I’m not a lawyer!” the masked man shouted again. “I’m just your friendly neighborhood murderer!” “Oh, okay,” said Ben relieved. He put the gun down and turned to his companion with pleased expressions. “Hear that? He’s just a murderer. We’re safe.” “Don’t listen to him! Some of the traits of a lawyer are to lie, cheat, and persuade!” Leh pushed past his friend and yelled over to the cloaked figure. “How do we know for sure that you’re a masked murderer and not a lawyer?” “I… uhh…” The cloaked man seemed to be fishing for explanations and during his befuddlement Ben regained his shotgun and reloaded it (even if he never used the bullets that were in there just a second ago). Upon seeing the weapon re-emerging, the cloaked man decided he had to take action. “Oh, what the hell.” He unsheathed the ModRod and began approaching the two victims. Ben fired the shotgun several times, but to his dismay, the ModRod stopped the bullets in midair and caused them to fall to the wet grass. (Wait, why is the grass wet?) “Oh, shootles,” Ben cursed. “Were d00med, Brn!!!11!!” whined Leh. “God damnit, if you’re going to die, you might as well have good grammar, you puss.” By this time, the cloaked man stood before them, towering high above with his awesome height. “The lawyer…” Ben gulped. “Please don’t corrupt me into becoming one of you,” Leh said, covering his eyes with his hands. “I’m not a lawyer!” Those were the last words the cloaked man spoke before taking his ModRod to his prey. Wait… actually, he did say “Shagoomba,” then he took the rod to his prey. But that matters not. What matters is, Ben and Leh were banned. James stormed into Town Hall with fury. Approaching the desks where the lazy administrators Master Charles and Master Adam sat snoozing. The slamming of the door gave them quite a rude awakening. “I say, James, what’s the meaning of this?” asked Charles, wiping sleep from his eyes. For some reason he was depicted as a fat, old man in this story. Adam, on the other hand, was tall, thin, and rather crooked looking. He rubbed a cloth on his glasses and placed them on his pointed noise. “Yes, James, do tell,” he backed up Charles’ question. James was the youngest and morally inept being of the three council members. He believed in proper law rather than the ways Charles and Adam follow—idiotic ventures. The two delinquents that call themselves administrators sniffed at James, awaiting an answer. “You two didn’t hear?” James said, furious in his words. “Hear what, my dear James?” asked Adam dumbly, pouring himself a cup of coffee. James felt the need to fling the whole pot of joe into the laps of his two companions of business. “The banning of two members.” “We didn’t ban anyone recently,” reassured Charles while he too partook in the warm beverage. “I’m aware of this,” James said angrily, pacing in front of the long desk of Adam. “Take a seat and tell us,” Adam offered. “It seems two members were banned last night, but not by any of us who have the ability to,” James began, ignoring the invitation to take a seat. “And since members lack the ability to delete their own accounts without our supervision, a disappearance of a member in Otaku Hollow is unlikely.” James stared down his partners. “Well?” “Well, what?” asked Charles, sipping his coffee. “Well, did you or did you not ban anyone last night?” “We most certainly did not,” countered Adam. “The members have surprisingly stayed in order as of late. We have had no need for our ModRods.” That made James think further. “Where are your ModRods?” “Why, we keep them right here at all times. See?” Charles held up his, as did Adam. James moved a hand over his own, which never left his side. “You see James, you’re clearly over-reacting. This is most likely a simple hoax played by some village idiots.” Two large sacks were thrown onto the hard oak tabletop, a loud [i]thud![/i] resounding. The bags appeared heavy. “What’s this?” Charles asked, poking one sack with his cigar. James politely obliged and opened one of the sacks. The two other admins peered in. “Cookies?” Adam asked. “No thank you, James,” Charles declined. “I’d rather not. I’m on a diet, you see.” “They’re members’ cookies, you fools!” James shouted. “You know, the kinds that store information of where you’ve been. They only appear in these sacks when a member is banned. I only assumed you’d know that much!” “Oh, of course that’s what they are,” Adam said with a nervous laugh. He elbowed Charles who accompanied him in a good chuckle. James saw through them, but continued. “These were found at Ben’s farm just outside Otaku Hollow. They belong to Ben and his friend Leh.” Charles continued to poke a cookie with his cigar, bits of butts falling into the sack. “And who do you suppose did this to them?” “I have two theories,” James said, walking towards the window to add dramatic effect to the scene. “A lawyer or a masked murderer.” Charles and Adam nearly jumped through the roof with fright. “A lawyer? In these parts?” “Stop it, James!” scolded Adam. “You’re scaring Charles half to death.” “I’m sorry,” James said, finally taking a seat. “I’ve been leaning more towards masked murderer actually.” Charles and Adam calmed down a little. “Good,” Charles sighed. “Last thing we need is a lawyer running amuck.” He choked up a little bit of ash from when he swallowed his cigar when he screamed. “We’ll keep a close watch for this ‘masked murderer’ of yours, James.” He gave an unconvincing smirk, but James left it at that. He stood up and walked out of the room. Once the door slammed shut, Charles and Adam kicked back again. “Man, he needs to get laid… BIG time.” Not too long after James’ meeting with Adam and Charles did he arrive at the home of a strange person. Well, actually, it is the home of a more normal person who shares the residence with a man who lives in his basement. Well, erm… I’ll explain later. So, James arrived at the house. He rapped the door a few times and awaited a greeting from someone within the house. After moments of silence, the door creaked open and a large wolf emerged. Drool dripped from its chops and it growled at James. “G’Afternoon, Master Solo Tremaine,” James said politely. “I’m here for Dr. Kane.” The blue wolfman whimpered as if sad he wasn’t the reason for the unexpected visit. Gradually, he moved out of the doorway to allow James to cross over the threshold and into the abode. “Oh, stop your whimpering,” James soothed. “You can join us.” Solo panted happily and closed the door. He led James to a door in a small, bare room. The door led to rickety stairs, which led to a vast area with machines, chemicals, and scientific thingy-mabobs. James peered around at the curious sight until he heard a familiar voice. “Solo, is that you?” A head with rather large goggles appeared behind a table littered with acids in bottles. “Ah, Master James! So good to see you!” “Good to see you too, Dr. Kane.” James stepped over random parts to machinery and made his way over to the man in the strange gear. Removing the goggles, Dr. Kane shook James’ hand with glee. “It’s been a while since you’ve needed my services,” he began, wandering the lab in search of particular items. “What is it this time? Werewolf antidote? Sunlight in a bottle? Batwing Bladder-Bussles.” He held up the bottle of Batwing Bladder-Bussles and winked. “Makes you poop.” “I don’t have to poop.” “Everyone has to poop,” argued Kane. “I don’t have to poop!” James shouted. “Not at the moment, anyway.” “What is it, then?” Kane asked kindly, walking to a stove where he had tea. Solo hopped over to a blanket by an armchair where Kane implied for James to take a seat. James sat and cleared his throat. He began talking as he stroked Solo’s head with his right hand. “There were two members banned last night.” “Ah, very good,” Kane smiled. He carried the tray of tea over to his armchair that was next to James’. He handed his friend a cup and Solo one as well, then seated himself with his own. “I’m always pleased to hear the system is still working. Some members don’t learn. Always spamming this and flaming that. Terrible, I tell you. Why, I remember this one time-” “Kane,” James interrupted, “none of the administrators banned the two members. In facts, the two members were Ben and Leh.” Dr. Kane scratched his chin in thought. “I see. Most peculiar. Did they deactivate their accounts?” James sipped his tea and shook his head. “Members can’t do it on their own. Not without our help, that is.” This seemed to confuse Kane, so he went into further thought. “Are you suggesting some crazed banner is running around Otaku Hollow and causing misery by banning innocent members?” “That’s what I’m guessing. My first impression was it was a lawyer.” “Oh, God no. Not even a lawyer could do this.” Kane was very intelligent. James knew this. He had put his trust in Dr. Kane many times previously so why would it be any different now? If Kane said it wasn’t a lawyer, the thought was tossed out the window. “Think of this: the two members that were banned—Leh and Ben, wasn’t it? What did they have in common that would make a person want to ban them?” “Well, they’re friends, but I don’t know them that well,” James said, aware he wasn’t contributing all too much. “Hm, yes, well that’s no help.” Dr. Kane tapped a finger on his chin as he pondered. “Perhaps one was a victim and the other—since they’re friends—tried protecting the other from harm and they both resulted in death because of it.” “That could be,” James agreed. “We’ll have to keep that option open.” Kane nodded. “I’ll have to sleep on this.” James yawned and accidentally burnt himself on the cup. “Ow, your tea is hot!” James whined. “Oh, that’s not tea,” Kane informed. “That’s the Batwing Bladder-Bussles.” James’ face went pale. “I’ll be right back,” he moaned as he ran up the stairs to the bathroom in a hurry. James awoke to a shrill in the night. It was only about eleven p.m., but it was obvious that something went amiss in Otaku Hollow. He jumped out of his jammies and into his robes and slippers and rushed out of his house into the streets. He heard a knell being rung so he rushed to the center of town where a large, abandoned church was. The bell there was still used for cases such as this. Someone shouted from above that the banner had struck again. James rushed to the crowd of people huddled before the church. He pushed through and arrived at the center of the circle. There was another sack of cookies. James read the member name on the bag’s side: “Sara.”[/size]

Comments? Chapter two will arrive soon.

[Solo Tremaine]

[COLOR=#503F86]"Makes you poop."

Call me crude, but that was my favourite line in the whole thing ^_^

This is really well-written. You've a decent flair for comedy and it shows nicely. Some of the dialogue exchanges are simply priceless. I can't wait to see more, heh.[/COLOR]

[Shy]

[size=1]Why am I never a part of these Otaku stories? People must not like me very much.

Anyway, it's a very amusing concept. I'll be interested in seeing how the story progresses. Good work.

-Shy[/size]

[CaptainAnarchy]

Wow...I like how you used the actual Otaku Board members in the story...and how you depicted the Otaku Boards as a town. I also love the lawyers-arent-as-bad-as-murderers thing. Thats classic. I also have to agree that the "Makes you poop" line is simply so stupid that it is remarkably hilarious. Cheers to you, you certainly have a talent for writing.

[Dragon Warrior]

Well, I'm sorry, Shy. I actually did plan on having you in it, but this is only the first chapter. You can't expect everyone to appear at the start. Not even I'm in it and I'm a main character with James. Anyways, I'm not sure when the next chapter will be in. We'll see.

Thanks for comments ;^D

[Sir Gawain]

This is very good. Your inclusion of real people, err, real people's other selves, makes this an experince that others can enjoy. It was very enjoyable, and I'd like to see it again in Chapter 2.

Oh yes, and using proper grammar and spell checking is very funny. You know, lawyers ARE dangerous. Keep up this story, and the boards could be remodeled!

[CaptainAnarchy]

Damn lawyers...I can't sleep at night knowing such scum is on the loose...

[Elk]

lol that was soo funny! The lawyers thing and the "makes you poop." I can just imagine the guy saying that and stuff. I can't wait for ch. 2 i hope it come out soon!

P.S. Love the story so beautiful *cries*

[Hevn]

That was fun and very interesting. I especially love the dialogues, lol. I'm surely waiting for more.

?I was kidding. I?m not a lawyer. I?m a masked murderer, I swear!?

Your talent for comedy is truly admirable, sir. I also love that banner you made ^_~

[MissWem]

[COLOR=DarkRed]By the second sentence you made me giggle. Quarter the way through I started sniggering. Halfway through I couldn't help but chuckle then by the end of it I giggled some more.

Oh you're so funny, stop it! : P[/COLOR]

[Gavin]

[SIZE=1]Interesting, most interesting.

Yes my first feature appearance in a story by a fellow Gavynn, I have to agree with Solo the "[I]Makes you poop[/I]" comment was definitely good. I'm eagerly awaiting my next appearance in the further chapters, I get the feeling this is going to be as good as [B]Enter the Net[/B].[/SIZE]

[Ezekiel]

[COLOR=DarkSlateBlue][SIZE=1]That really was very entertaining, I know you told me about this when you first posted it and I'm only replying now >_< I'm so bad, please forgive me *begs forgiveness*

Ahem, any-whoozer.

I love the way you depicted Solo, very cute if you ask me. And James seems like such a fun character, I can't wait to see where this goes.

*gives Shy a teddy* We love you Shy, like the way a parent loves the 21 year old who won't leave home...hehe ^_^;[/SIZE][/COLOR]

[Dragon Warrior]

To make James happy, I'm making this chapter [i]not[/i] centered and in size 2 font. Happy? ;^D

Anyways, here's the next one! Yay!

[size=5][b]Chapter 2: A Loon, A Sexy Beast, and A Really Ugly Waiter[/b][/size] [size=2]The very next day James went to Dr. Kane?s abode once again. Solo?s paws patted the floor softly as he panted and made his way down the steps to the basement to serve the company breakfast. ?Ah, flapjacks!? beamed Kane, who immediately helped himself to a twelve stack. After pouring some Big-Foot Urine Syrup over his pancakes, he motioned for James to take his share. James declined. ?I?m not in the mood to eat right now. Not after what has happened to Lore.? Kane nodded with understanding. He took a cup and passed it to James. ?Then have some Batwing Bladder-Bussles.? James almost choked. ?No!? ?Very well,? Kane said, a little disappointed James didn?t accept the offering. He placed the cup down and stared into his own. After sipping, he crossed his right leg over his left and placed his hands in his lap. ?Now then, what do you wish to discuss?? ?The banning of Lore. It?s uncalled for!? Solo had to push James down into his chair. Kane nodded calmly. ?I know you?re upset James, but we can?t get too excited. When anger gets in the way of things, your mind is clouded. Anger leads to hate and hate leads to the dark side.? ?What are you, a Jedi Master?? ?Silence, young Padawan!? Dr. Kane shoved five pancakes in his mouth and chewed angrily until he calmed down enough to swallow. ?About Lore? wait, didn?t that bag say Sara?? ?Yeah, I think it was a mistake. It was either a typo or the [i]Postless Banner[/i]-? ?Postless Banner?? ?I named him, okay?!? ?Fine, fine!? Kane shook. ?Anyways, as I was saying. It was either a typo or the Postless Banner didn?t know Sara changed her name to Lore.? Kane rubbed his chin. He was intrigued by this, but wasn?t sure what to make of it. ?Of course I don?t know what to make of it! No one does! If I did, this case would be solved.? Sorry. ?Stupid narrator.? Hey, shut up! Kane wears a training bra. ?Hey, stop narrating lies!? ?Excuse me,? James said interrupting the idiotic Kane and the very attractive narrator, ?can?t we do this little feud later and get to the bottom of this case?? James is very gay. ?Oh, that?s it!? ?Calm down, James,? Kane said calmly. He?s gay too. ?Stupid mother f-? It was afternoon when James and Kane left the house after the battle with the narrator. I?m the new narrator, just so you know. Anyways, James and Kane stopped at their favorite café, ?The Shinmaru Shack.? ?I don?t like the name of this place,? James commented as a freakishly disgusting-looking waiter seated them. Dr. Kane gave one look towards their servant and almost used the ketchup bottom placed on the table as a barf bag. ?I Syk3,? said the hideous thing that we sadly call a waiter. ?Whaz cans I gets you gentlemenses?? Solo gave off a low growl. James patted his furry friend and tried his best to look at the waiter. It was just so hard! It was like burning out your eyes. ?We?d all like a cappuccino.? ?Whip cream on mine,? Dr. Kane said, shielding his eyes with a menu. Syk3 wrote down the orders with what we?re assuming is his hand and then nodded approvingly. He smiled and said, ?Thanks youz for your orderses. I go gets them nowses.? He smirked again, and then took the menu from Kane?s hands, revealing the hideous waiter to the scientist?s line of vision. Kane squealed, but held back a scream. Once the waiter left, Kane poured salt in his eyes to clean them. ?That waiter?s hideous!? mumbled Kane. ?You?re not suppose to look directly at him,? James said matter-of-factly. Kane stabbed silverware into his eyes and sighed. ?Okay, I think my eyes are better. Let?s continue our discussion.? ?Well,? James began, poking at a mustard packet, ?what?s our next option? Wait for another banning to happen? I don?t think so. We can?t allow this to go on anymore.? Kane leaped up with an idea. ?I have an idea!? I just said that. ?Don?t you start with me too, new narrator!? Fine. ?What?s your plan?? James said eagerly. ?Well, I think it was Gonzo from the Muppets or an old proverb that states all criminals think alike. If this is so, we could get a criminal of possibly the same stamina?or even more, if possible?and use them to hunt down the Postless Banner. If they?re of the same mind, the villain should know where to look for the other villain!? ?Sounds like a possible theory,? James considered. ?But can we really trust a criminal?? ?We?ll kick him where it counts if he betrays us!? James smiled as Kane acted out the pain of the criminal if he [i]did[/i] betray them. ?The only thing left now,? Kane continued, ?is we must figure out who the criminal should be.? ?I have just the one in mind,? James grinned, almost deviously. ?Okays, here?s yer drinkies!? Syk3 returned just in time for Kane to get a full view of his hideous face. Kane screamed and rolled on the floor in pain. ?I can still see him when I close my eyes!? ?Think happy thoughts!? James shouted. ?Someone burn out my eyes!? The prison door swung open with a creak, a sound echoing across the empty hallways as it slammed into the wall. James stepped into the cement room and walked down the corridor until he reached a large desk with a small woman. Her desk plate said ?Hevn.? She looked up through thick glasses. ?May I help ye, hun??? James pushed a lock of hair from his eyesight and smiled. ?I?m looking for-? ?Wait, wait, wait,? said the small woman, ?You just pushed a lock of hair and smiled. Are you hitting on me?? James peered down at the woman. She wasn?t that attractive. He began to get nervous. ?Uhh?? ?Oh, you tall drink of water, you. I guess I could let you in.? ?Ummm,? James forced a smile, ?yay?? ?Yay, it is! Go on in, hun?.? James walked away from the desk, but once he was at a far enough distance away, he bolted for the door to the prisoners. Dagger IX1 waltzed in just in time to see James leave. The OtakuBoarder plopped paperwork down on the desk and stared at Hevn. ?Who was that?? ?My man,? said Hevn. There were a lot of criminals here in the Otaku Hollow cells. Peering around James saw such members as? er? well, they were bad members. I?m not going to mention any names just in case they might come and attempt to kill me. Anyways, he made his way down the corridor until he found the cell of the worst and most vile, devious, and incredibly attractive villain to ever walk the streets of Otaku?Dragon Warrior. ?Dragon Warrior,? James said, daring not to stare into the cell of The Sexy One. ?What do you want, admin?? ?I need your help.? ?Well, isn?t that straight to the sexy point?? Dragon Warrior had a knack for sticking the words ?sexy,? ?sex,? or ?poopie? into most of what he says. The black mage, cloaked in his blue garments topped off with his infamous yellowish hat, stood up and finally shined his illuminating eyes toward the Administrator. ?Why would I ever help you?? ?Because I could help you if you help me,? James said, finally turning to face the prisoner. ?Me help you and you help me?? Dragon Warrior almost made a joke laugh. You know, the kind that isn?t a real laugh, but sort of is since he?s so surprised James would say that. You know what I mean. ?I would never help you or any other OtakuBoarder. You?re all just big, smelly butts!? ?Big smelly? what are you, ten?? ?You are!? Dragon Warrior kicked a stack of PlayMage in anger. ?All I did to get thrown in here was try to take over OtakuBoards and you know what? That?s a felony! Oh, bad Dragon Warrior. He?s soooo bad. He causes mischief and makes bad cupcakes. Well, guess what, Jamesie Boyo!? Dragon Warrior clung to the cell bars. ?All I wanted was to make love to hott womenses and smite a few primitive screwheads here and there. I guess that?s just too much to ask.? The black mage then plopped to the floor by his haystack, which is his sorry excuse for a bed. ?You?re not going to make me feel bad for you,? James informed. ?I don?t need your pity.? There was silence for a moment. ?You smelly butt.? ?Alright, cut the crap!? James shouted as he shook the bars. ?Who calls a person a big, smelly butt? Honestly. You?re like a kid.? Dragon Warrior began sulking. ?Am not.? ?Are to.? ?Am not, you stupid head!? ?I?ll take your box juice if you don?t listen to reason!? ?You don?t know what it?s like to be my age!? ?Oh, shut up!? James began pacing around the corridor. ?I need help tracking down the Postless Banner.? ?Oh, that sorry sap?? Dragon Warrior smirked. ?He?s nothing. His criminal scheme is clearly see-through.? ?You mean you know who it is?? James jumped excitedly, clinging to the cell bars again. ?Nuh uh, I ain?t tellin? you nothing.? ?That?s a double negative. That means you have to tell me something!? ?Oh, God damnit!? Dragon Warrior kicked at his hay and stood. ?Fine. I?ll help you. But only if you get me out of here.? ?Okay, I?ll let you go for the time we?re investigating this case.? ?No,? the sexy mage frowned. ?You set me free foreverness.? ?Oh, so you can try and conquer OtakuBoards again? I?ll sick PiroMunkie on you, I swear I will!? ?Listen,? Dragon Warrior stomped, ?you get me out of here, I help you, after the case is done, I?ll go along my way and create my OWN forums to conquer.? Dragon Warrior had a little evil chuckle at this plan. ?You are chuckling evilly about making a forum, aren?t you?? ?Yes.? ?Oh, okay.? James nodded at the guard. DeathKnight flashed on his nametag as he passed under a low light towards the cell. Unfortunately, the visor on his hat was so low over his eyes that he didn?t see the light and slammed into it, causing him to fall into a manhole and die. ?They shouldn?t have built a manhole there,? James commented as he looked down the hole. ?Better yet, they should cover it up.? ?No worries,? Dragon Warrior said. He then summoned the Gods of Evil Demonic Darkness and cast a black spell upon the cell bars, freeing him. ?You know, I?m not entirely sure why I haven?t done that before.? ?C?mon,? James said, walking over the manhole towards the door, ?we?ve got to meet Dr. Kane in the cemetery.? The ?cemetery? is called The Otaku Archives, a graveyard of forgotten threads, closed topics, and members that chose to leave on their own. James and Dragon Warrior paced through the cemetery, passing such graves as Final_Flash, The Padded Party Room, and Bill Cosby. Dragon Warrior made a look at a headstone that read ?Dragon Warrior?s Sexy Tea Parties.? He whined a little, but forgot about it once they arrived at Dr. Kane?s side. Solo Tremaine accompanied them as well. ?What are you looking at, Kane?? James asked when they approached. ?Nothing special,? he replied, turning away from the grave. ?I see you got Dragon Warrior. Good. Let?s go investigate the church, shall we?? They all left the cemetery and the grave Kane was so fascinated with. Huh, it says ?Star Wars Series.? ?Okay, that was a cheap blow,? said Boba Fett, walking on to the scene. ?Star Wars will never die! It are teh R0X0RZ! Obi Wan will continue to be sweet, Anakin will become evil, Yoda will get old and wrinkly foreverses, and I will name my three children Boba, Fett, and Bofett! And I?ll send Mark Hamill to your house and he?ll know what you wrote about Star Wars and it?ll be really awkward, so shuddup!? As stupid as Boba Fett?s appearance was, this story is starting to lose all intelligent quality. So this next paragraph is going to be written with the utmost appropriate intellect. James admired the whirling granules of the soil that scattered across the exhibition of Lore?s lamentable cessation. Kane stood perpendicular with a perplexed façade that he divvied with his concomitants so queerly. Solo unbound an unfathomable gnarr from his throat. Phew? that was some tough writing. Screw that! I?m writing normal now. Anyways, what I just said was James inspected the soil where Lore?s banning took place. Kane watched with Solo and Dragon Warrior, all confused by the situation. Solo growled. Kane looked to where Solo?s eyesight was aiming. It was the abandoned church. It had burnt marks in the wall. Solo rushed over and sniffed at it, Kane and the others following close behind. ?I swear, I didn?t do that,? Dragon Warrior gulped, shifting his eyes. ?That?s not black magic,? Kane said, rubbing at the markings with his gloved hands. Dragon Warrior sighed with relief. ?What are they from, Dr. Kane?? James asked with curiosity. ?They?re from a ModRod,? he said in thought. ?The Postless Banner had a ModRod,? James stated. ?This must be from him. I?m assuming he missed Lore a few times.? ?Exactly,? Kane agreed. He began walking around the scene. ?It?s simple, really. Lore didn?t want to be banned. Who would? She was ambushed and tried to fight back, dodging the blasts. We all know she has a ModRod, but she obviously didn?t have it on her or that guy would be toast.? He continued acting out what happened. ?She dodged numerous times, but finally was hit with a powerful blast, which annihilated her.? A moment of silence for thought and memory of Lore occurred. ?What can we make of this?? James asked, breaking the tranquility ?James, give me your ModRod,? the scientist ordered. James took it out, but Dragon Warrior claimed it first. ?Ah ha! I have the ModRod! The world is mi-OW! You stupid mutt, you?re biting me!? It was true. Solo had a firm grip on the mage?s butt with his chops. ?Let go!? Dragon Warrior tripped and dropped the ModRod, sending a bolt so powerful, it shot straight through the church wall. Kane smiled. ?See?? he said with glee, running to pick up the ModRod, then returning back to the church. ?Your ModRod?s regular power bolt is strong enough to penetrate this old church?s walls while the ModRod attacking Lore wasn?t even powerful enough to singe it. These burns are very poor.? ?What?s it mean?? James asked, taking the ModRod back from his friend. ?It means that whoever this Postless Banner is, they have one of the older ModRods. James, you all have the Version 7 ModRod. This has to be the work of at least Version 2.? James pondered this for a moment, as did everyone else. (Aside from Dragon Warrior who nursed his butt wounds.) ?Alright,? James said, turning towards everyone. ?What do you guys presume we do?? ?I?m not entirely sure,? Kane said, shrugging. ?We should think about this whole thing before taking-? ?I have an idea,? Dragon Warrior with a gleam in his eye. ?What is it?? James asked. ?Yes, what is it?? Kane repeated, annoyed he was interrupted while speaking his ?wise words.? ?I know a crazy, old loon who lives a little ways from here that might be able to help. He?s like an old, wise man. Name?s Shy or something.? ?Oh, come now,? Kane argued, ?we obviously can?t trust a crazy, old loon.? ?And why not?? Dragon Warrior countered. ?Because he?s a crazy, old loon! Isn?t that a good enough reason?? ?We should at least attempt this,? James said. ?WH @?!!!!111!11? Kane screamed, the anger causing him to speak badly. ?I?ve heard of Shy and he really hasn?t been wrong before,? James said. He turned away from the shocked scientist and faced the devious mage. ?How far is it to get to Shy?s place?? ?About a day?s journey there. Another day to get back.? ?Hmm,? James pondered. ?That?s risky. The Postless Banner has two more nights to strike while we?re gone.? ?We should leave immediately,? Dragon Warrior laughed darkly. ?Stop laughing darkly,? James scolded. ?It?s really starting to freak me out.? ?Sorry.? ?But yes, we should leave now. Everyone pack up. We?re going.? They all agreed and were about to go separate ways for a while when suddenly Syk3 showed up and ran into Kane. ?Youz forgotted to payses checkness!? said the waiter. Kane had a cardiac arrest and was immediately sent to the hospital. The diagnosis: ugly waiters are bad juju! [/size]

Comments >:^O

[Kitty]

[COLOR=Blue][SIZE=1]Yesh, Gavin, stop laughing darkly >=^O

OMG.. This story is teh sexah-nesh. Write more!! .. Pwease? And where's MY appearance, HUH!? Shy begged! And HE's gonna be included... so why not me? ;_;

And one more thing.

Syk3, PUT A BAG ON.. JEBUS! *walks off grumbling*[/SIZE][/COLOR]

[DeadSeraphim]

[COLOR=Indigo][FONT=Arial][SIZE=1]I love it, lol. It all rocks, but the interaction between story peoples and narrator are priceless, lol.[/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR]

[Hevn]

Your movie references are quite teh coolies. And that talking with the narrator is really entertaining too. It's perfect!

[I]"She wasn?t that attractive"[/I]

Except for that one tiny bit. -.-

[MissWem]

[COLOR=DarkRed]I tried... I really [I]tried!![/I] But I couldn't think of anything but how scary syk3 was to think of any criticism : /

Oh well, needless to say it 'twas very entertaining. I'm absolutely shmitten with your sexay writing ^_~[/COLOR]

[Dagger]

Haha, thanks for the cameo. Now I have no choice but to reply. :p

In all seriousness, I very much like this piece. Your comedic writing seems to have improved by leaps and bounds, becoming [i]much[/i] tighter and more controlled than in the stories you used to post. I absolutely love the style you're using here--I don't know if it's something new or just something I personally hadn't previously seen from you. The random bits are amusing because there aren't enough of them to totally overwhelm the reader.

My favorite part is definitely the "utmost appropriate intellect" paragraph. Great stuff.

~Dagger~

[Arcadia]

[size=1]My favorite part is definitely the graveyard, heh. I like the idea of it consisting of all the old, dead threads and members and stuff like that. Poor Star Wards thread. ^_^;;

That, and all the cameos and cheap shots are awesome. I'm sure this is only the beginning, too. I'm definitely looking forward to some sexy, sexy Shy action. ^_~[/size]

[Ezekiel]

[COLOR=DarkSlateBlue][SIZE=1]That was great, better than your first chapter, dare I say, and much more sexy ^_~ You must write more so that I can get my Dragon Warrior fix.

I loved the bit with Kane pouring salt into his eyes, very entertaining. It really did give a very good impression of what syk3 is like *shudder*[/SIZE][/COLOR]

[Gavin]

[SIZE=1]Heh heh, even if I do lose the use of my eyes any time I look at Syk3 it's still worth reading this, I got a few queer looks in the Net Café from laughing so hard when I read this. The graveyard was good, Final_Flash is an idol who will be missed for ages to come, the Star Wars comment was well below the belt Gav [[i]Wags index finger[/i]]. Still the best and most funny thread I've read in months, resistance is futile, as is resistance to Gavin and Gavynn's sexiness. [/SIZE]

[Sir Gawain]

An even better installment than the first. Just a thought first; Stop using big words, even if it is only for one paragraph.

This is great. But did you really try to take over the boards? :devil: Haha. Or are you just giving yourself something?

[Dragon Warrior]

Yes, I did attempt at taking over Otaku[b]Boards[/b], but PiroMunkie stopped me with what I call the "Piro Revolution." I still have sexy followers and I [i]WILL[/i] eventually rule OB >:^D

And, sorry, Kid Anime, if I stop using big words, my writing will sound lame like "The cow walked down the road." Vocabulary can help a story a lot.

Oh, and just to inform everyone, this story is only going up to five chapters. That means I have only two chapters left to write! Enjoy it while it lasts, eh? ;^D

[size=5][b]Chapter 3: Shy and the Temple of n00bs[/b][/size] [size=2]James, Kane, Solo Tremaine, and Dragon Warrior all gathered again by the old church to start their journey. The four shifted uneasy, thinking of the dangerous quest ahead of them. They?d have to travel through uncharted web servers and possibly spammified forums and sites. James was beginning to become unsure of what they were about to do. "Okay, DW," James said, finally breaking the uncomfortable silence, "which way to Shy?s?" Dragon Warrior looked about as if searching for the answer. Turns out, he didn?t really know it. "I?m not entirely sure." "What?!" Kane squealed through bandages. (Why he got bandages from going to the hospital, we?ll never know.) "You better find out!" "Hi dere," said a silly voice from behind. They all turned to see none other than--Zidargh! "Oh my goshums," James said excitedly, "it?s Zidargh the Map Guy Thingy Person Man." "I?m called a cartographer, you jerkface," Zidargh said rudely with a polite tone. (I don?t know what I?m talking about either.) "I could sell you a map if you want. Let?s see?" He began digging through his large sack that was quite apprehensive. "I?ve got maps to Las Vegas, one to the Kill Adam RPG, a ticket to the Otaku Awards 2005--very pricey, mind you--a map to Shy?s Mysterious Abode, one to Star Wars 411, one to-" "Wait," James interrupted, "what was that last one?" "Star Wars 411?" "No, before that." "Otaku Awards 2005 ticket." "No, you primitive fucktard! I want the map to Shy?s place thingy." "Ohhhh, Shyyyyy." Zidargh dug out the map and took his money from James? outstretched hand. "Nice doing business with you. Maybe next time you can purchase a Batwing Bladder-Bussle from me." James kneed Zidargh in the kidney and the Otaku Member died immediately for some reason. "Okay," James said with glee, "we have a map. Let?s go find Shy!" The four started their way off towards the town exit when they were run over by numerous members and their horse-and-carriage bands. James picked himself up while Solo growled. Kane fiddled with his useless bandages and stared at the members passing by with a cold expression. "Why you leave?" Dragon Warrior asked sexily. Alan, who couldn?t possibly resist the sexiness of the question, stopped along his traversing and answered, "We?re all leaving town because of all the bannings. No one wants to be in a forum that you could be banned in." He cocked his shotgun skillfully. This made James sad. "Can?t you guys stay?" the administrator pleaded. "We were off to find a solution for this chibby-chab as it were." "Chibby-chab?" asked Alan, cocking his shotgun. "It?s Spankish for ?problem,?" Dragon Warrior answered. He was, after all, the founder of the sexy language Spankish and was enthused that James used some of his words. "Otay," Alan said, cocking his shotgun, and pointed it toward the crowd. "I?m sorry, Mr. Admin, but we?re gone. We can?t take any chances. I?m not waiting for you to get Shy and come back to stop the Postless Banner." "How did you know we were going to see Shy?" Kane asked. Alan stood unnervingly, then accidentally shot a bullet into the crowd. "Sorry!" he shouted. He then turned to the group of four. "i hvae 2 g0 n0\/\/. ok bye/!!!11!1" With that, Alan the n00b Hunter was cocking his shotgun and gone with the rest of the abandoning members. James wanted to fall to the ground and weep. "All my members are weaving," James sobbed. "Weaving?" Kane asked. "He means ?leaving,?" Dragon Warrior corrected. "But he said weaving." "Yes, but he means leaving. At least, I think he does." "Yes, I mean leaving!" James shouted. "Now let?s get going. I want to end this whole thing before the Postless Banner succeeds in destroying all of Otaku Hollow." "Right, let?s go!" they all said in unison. "That was unusual," Kane admired. "We are losted," Dragon Warrior complained erotically. "And I?m hungry and sexy." "We must push on," James cooed, pushing back the brush and leaves of the exotic rainforest that was strangely next to their temperate zone village. "I can smell some kind of food cooking." "Me too," Dr. Kane said, getting caught on a branch by his bandages. Solo barked in agreement. Dragon Warrior began summoning dark entities around him. "Maybe we can barbeque the civilians cooking the food and eat it all for ourselves." He laughed maniacally. James put a hand to Dragon Warrior?s lips (wait, does he even have lips? He?s a black mage for God sakes!) and shushed the others. "I hear something." They all listened carefully when suddenly natives appeared out of nowhere and pointed pointy objects at the group of four. "Ookie ookie, smelly admin and friends," said one that appeared to be in high authority. "We the n00b natives of forum Poopie Pineapples & Stuff." James looked queerly at them. "Poopie Pineapples and-" "No talkie," said the n00b, pointing the spear at James. "We have pointy stick things and spammy posts, yes yes?" James looked around wondering where the question was directed to. He nodded anyways. "Yes yes," said the leader. "You come with us, smelly admin." He turned to the three others. "Wet dog, poopie doctor, and sexy beast go to prison cells." He lifted his spear and a group of n00b natives whisked the three others away from James? company. "Oh, man, I just got out of jail," Dragon Warrior complained. "Sexy, this one is," said a rather attractive n00b. "He come with us. OMFG YESH!!!111" And so, Dragon Warrior was taken elsewhere. James began to panic. "You can let us go. I am an all-powerful administrator." He took out his ModRod. "I could ban you all with a single wave of my magic stick!" The n00b natives laughed as if there was some inside joke floating around. "Your magic stick not work here, smelly admin. We from ?nother forum, yes yes? You not from here, no no." They all laughed again and James felt like pouting once more. The n00bs, as stupid as they were, had some superiority over James in some places. They knew of his abilities. The leader native finished a gruff laugh and rubbed his tummy. "You funny, smelly admin. We likerz you. WIRUIHT FRHTHIO WEUROP RW EIOWOP-0421834 I4 39RU?!!!11!11!" "What?" James asked, questioning the insane spam. "I say, you dine with us." The leader nodded to the other natives. "Bring smelly admin. King Rocko Blackheart Masser will love company of smelly one." James was taken by the arms by the natives who were spouting out spam as they lead him deep into their forum temple. "King Masser! King Masser! King Masser!" The n00b natives chanted this several times before the general of the natives emerged from a leaf covering in the temple wall. "Attention!" he shouted. The natives went silent. "Natives," he said, addressing his fellow n00bs, "smelly admin," he nodded at James, "and attractive models from Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition," he then gave a wink to the sexy models, "you all equally blessed with the presence of our lord. I present now, King Rocko Blackheart Masser!" A large, black-cloaked figure with an enormous staff emerged from the same leaf covering on the wall as the general. He bowed to the applause that roared from the audience of natives. James eyed the staff. He must be compensating. King Rocko held up a gloved hand and the temple went quiet. "Greetings, my natives and James." He smiled at James through his helmet. "LOL!!111" "Hi," was all James managed to say. "Silence when I?m talking, smelly admin! lol" scolded Masser. "Well, now I know where the natives get their intelligence," James mumbled before being forced to sit at the large dining table. Masser joined him and began feasting. James would have too if every wasn?t made out of raw Spam. James almost gagged. King Rocko Blackheart Masser looked up at James, Spam plastered across his face like paint to a wall. "Why aren?t you eating, f00l? rofl" "Let?s just say Spam ain?t my thing," James said, eyeing the questionable meal. "You don?t have Spam at your forum?" "I absolutely forbid the horrid stuff." This made Masser upset. He stood up with one quick motion and growled. "You insult our forum with your insane rules and regulations and other big words!" He kicked over the table, forcing James to jump back. "Now you will pay, OMFG YES!!!11/1" He took his large staff and swung it skillfully. "Halt!" James unsheathed his Version 7 ModRod and held it expertly towards Blackheart. "I have a ModRod that could take you all out in a second." "You?ve already tried that trick, f00l, lol!" Suddenly everyone broke into "lol" and a little "rofl" here and there. "Guess what. Not only is my ModRod here more superior and larger, yours won?t work outside your forum. ROFLMAO LOL!!!!!11!11" James scowled at this display. "I beg to differ," he shouted, firing a bolt from the ModRod, knocking the one from Rocko?s grip and sending it flying into the chest of the general, banning him. "OMFG!" Rocko turned back to James and grimaced. "You suxorz." "Likewise," James frowned back. He held the ModRod in Rocko?s direction, causing a panic throughout the temple. "Now get my friends from their cells and bring them to me." "Hmf," King Masser grunted. "Fine with me. I can kill you all at once then." The forum administrator then turned towards his fellow natives and ordered for the "smelly friends" to be brought to him. After that command, he turned back to James and smiled. "LOL." The cells were made of metal, for some reason. They were very well made, but no prisoners aside from Kane and Solo were present. "These prison cells are well built," Kane admired the craftsmanship. That?s when a few natives popped in and pointed spears through the cage bars. "King Rocko Blackheart Masser order smelly friends to join us and smelly admin." "What?" Kane questioned, but they were taken from their cell and dragged away without an answer. That?s when Boba Fett appeared for another random moment. "Yesh, yesh, YESH! I just saw the new Star Wars Episode Three trailer in theatres. OMG, it was amazing! Boba Fett?s in it, you know. That?s my name. Hahahaha? if you don?t know who Boba Fett is, you?re not just ignorant, you?re stupid. I should beat you with my Star Wars Collector?s Lightsaber. I?ll do that while drinking from my collector cups. They glow in the dark. OMFG YESH!" Thank you Boba Fett for yet another useless rant. It was only a matter of minutes before Kane and Solo were dropped off by James? side untied. James peered around his friends with a questionable look. "Where?s Dragon Warrior?" "He wasn?t with us," Kane said, not entirely sad their devious companion is missing. James was different, though. He turned and scowled at Messer again. "Where?s Dragon Warrior?" "I dunno," replied Rocko smugly. "If my natives didn?t throw him in the cells, then he?s not present here. Maybe you should keep better track of your members, LOL!" James shocked Rocko and made him cry a little. "That hurt a little, ****, lol." "Wow, I?m already sick of this guy," Kane mused. James thought a moment, then spoke again. "Messer, order your men to find Dragon Warrior." "ROFL, okay!" He called forth one of his natives. "Where?s their smelly friend?" "The sexy beast is in gentlemen?s club." Rocko turned back to James. "He?s in my strip joint, lol. Good taste!!111/1!!!" James shocked Rocko again to stop the insane spammage. "Then fetch him for us." "You heard James, lol," the lord of the natives said. "Find Dragon Warrior." The natives immediately spilled down through the temple to their local hentai forum. "So then I said to her," Dragon Warrior began to say to all the hott womenses in the strip club, "let?s just have a sexy tea party and call it a night. So we did and you know what she did?" He waited a moment as if expecting an answer from the intrigued strippers. "She asked for a massage. Now you know I have my dignity, but-" The door suddenly swung open and natives poured in. "OMFG!!!11" They ran up to all the strippers and screamed "u hav a NEKKED pics?" and "wAnna cyber?!!!1!11" Dragon Warrior had to immediately destroy them and the strip club with his amazingly sexy black magic. The large explosion caused everyone, including Masser and James, to turn towards the strip club and watch the large mushroom cloud forming where it was previously. James took this moment and whacked the distracted native king over the head. He then took Kane and hopped on Solo. Solo ran down towards the blown up strip club with James and Kane riding on his back. Dragon Warrior emerged from the wreckage. "DW!" James shouted as Solo rode over to the black mage and halted. "We?ve got to get out of here! Quick, before-" "LOL ROFLMAO, there they are!" The four turned to see Masser and his army of n00b natives pour out of the temple towards the burnt strip club where they stood. "You guys go," Dragon Warrior said, cracking his knuckles. "I?ll take care of these guys." "Are you nuts?" Kane squealed. "Hey, I almost took over Otaku Hollow, so I think I can handle a lame forum like this. Give me some credit here." A piece of spam flew by, which was the cue for James, Kane, and Solo to take off. They rode into the forest as Dragon Warrior approached the army. Masser walked towards DW and laughed. "LOL, he wants to defeat us. He doesn?t know we R0X0RZ!" He readied his ModRod. "OMFG ROFL, let?s get him!" Suddenly, the natives fired loads of spam at Dragon Warrior, who put up a force field to block the assailment. "lol, you?re cheating! Barriers are white magic!" "Exactly," Dragon Warrior grinned. "COUNTER!" The barrier turned from a protective shield to a weapon of mass destruction, flying towards Masser and his army of n00bs. Masser watched the attack come towards him. "Fuck, lol." James, Kane, and Solo could all hear the explosion from Poopie Pineapples & Stuff when DW?s amazing attack unleashed. Not too long after, Dragon Warrior himself came flying in from the sky and landed on the ground next to his companions. James shrieked with glee. "You did it, DW!" Dragon Warrior looked at the administrator dazed-like. "I wanna ride the pony and eat my ice cream at the same time, mommy." He then fainted. Surprisingly, Shy?s house was not too far from Poopie Pineapples & Stuff. Dragon Warrior was carried on Solo?s back while Kane followed James who lead the pack. They approached a massive hill and peered up to see a Japanese-style house on top. "Guess that?s Shy?s place," James said in awe. "Let?s go." It was pretty steep, but there were stones that were good for steps. After climbing what seemed to be the inevitable, they made it to the door and pushed the button for the doorbell. A sexy Mario remix played and then a wolf answered the door. "Hi, I?m Vicky," said the pooch, then she caught eyes with Solo. Solo immediately went blank in thought and dropped Dragon Warrior down the steep hill. Solo and Vicky ran away together as the sound of cracking bones was heard at the bottom of the mountain. James and Kane entered. Inside, the place was smitten with brown wallpaper and candles lined everything. It was very symbolic. Shy emerged from one of the sliding doors and cooed at the visitors. "Seeking help, you are, yes?" asked the wise old fart. He sat down on a cushion, then gestured for James and Kane to do the same. "Yes, Master Shy," James said, bowing his head. "STOP THAT!" Shy scolded. He whacked the admin in the head. "I hate people who grovel. I?m just more attractive, more wise, more intelligent, more powerful, and in every way better than all of you. We?re not so different." "How so?" "So you seek help?" Shy threw some stones about a piece of paper. "Are you using those stones to tell fortunes?" James asked in amazement. "What? Fortune?" Shy made a face. "Hell, no. I?m just playing with these rocks. I get distracted easily." He shoved the stones aside and smiled. "You seek help with the Postless Banner." "Yes!" James said in excitement. "Can you tell us who it is or how we can stop him?" "Hmm," Shy pondered. He rubbed his chin and stood up to walk around a little. "Use the Force." "What? Use the Force?" "No, damnit," Shy scolded. "I said, use my horse! It?ll be a long journey back and without your doggy friend anymore, you?ll need a quick ride." "Oh," James smiled. "Thanks." "Geez, there are a lot of Star Wars cracks in this story," Kane declared. "Hmm? I see something," Shy said. James listened carefully, not wanting to disturb Shy?s reaches with the spiritual world. "I see? I see? a sexy black mage in pain below my hill." "Oh, that?s just Dragon Warrior," Kane said plainly. "Oh." Shy walked back to his cushion. "Well, I did see something else about your Postless Banner." "What is it?" James said eagerly. "A leader that died Will return, With a weapon you gave him So you shall burn." "WTF?" Kane spouted. "Calm down, Kane," James soothed. "What?s it mean, Shy?" "That?s for you to find out. For now, we rest. You have a long journey back to Otaku Hollow tomorrow." They all agreed and blew out all 5,682 candles before turning in. But not far from where they slept, a voice rang out into the night. "My back? my sexy black mage back?" [/size]

Now comment ;^D

[James]

[color=#707875]Hm, I wonder who this Postless Banner will be. I have my suspicions. ~_^

Nice chapter, Gav. I like the fact that you actually have an ending in mind and are working towards that. It means that we won't be left hanging, hehe.[/color]

[Ezekiel]

[COLOR=DarkSlateBlue][SIZE=1]Brilliant stuff! That was really great, Gav, and very sexy, I need a cold shower.... and like James said, I've got my suspicions too, but then again, I'm probably wrong, heh

Can't wait for the next chapter, but why does the story have to be so short? ;_; Very sad....[/SIZE][/COLOR]