idiotic things that people say about relationships

[MissWem]

[COLOR=DarkRed]Certainly conflict of interest would be the greates, considering a 14yr old is still just coming out of intermediate and it would make you wonder how on earth that person can relate to an adult on a romantic level who is practically twice their own age. There's also physical maturity, a teenager doesn't really stop puberty until quite a long time after 14 depending when you start.

[/COLOR]
[QUOTE=Lady_Rin]Now I have a few questions.
What would you do in a similar situation. Some bimbo or bimbette is making passes at your man or vice-versa[/QUOTE]
[COLOR=DarkRed]I would do nothing. Why? Because it did happen and I did nothing and despite the torture of watching the "bimbo" (my "friend") throw herself at him, I still did nothing. Now it's ended, both the relationship and most of the friendship. I suppose the good thing that came out of this was that I haven't ended up bitter like one or two of my friends, just much more cynical than before.

But it doesn't matter now. I believe I was too young, being 16 to really handle a proper relationship with an 18yr old. Next time I'll know better to just deck her no problem.

Btw, you forgot to use question marks again : / I suppose I get why you don't ask about a lady's age, however it's becoming rather out-dated with the ever-moderning society.[/COLOR]

[Lady_Rin]

[COLOR=DeepSkyBlue]Baron shall be this colour today.[/COLOR]
[COLOR=DeepSkyBlue]
I think Ranger should be put in 'time-out' to take a look at his suitability in his choice of replies.
[/COLOR]
And that makes you think he doesn't. Not only that he does it for real. I have shoved him onto the same corner used for the children for ill-mannered behavior at the Alamo, a place not known for its manners. The purpose behind timeout can be found in Zen which I have taught the children.

[COLOR=DeepSkyBlue]
...why asking about your age difference was fair game.

[/COLOR]
There actually is a reason. Most women don't want to be reminded of their age. Especially after their 29th birthday. Mrs H my supervisor is that way, she's 36 and goes overboard on how her body looks. Another example is Lilah, an aquaintance, she's my age. She does botox, had a tummy tuck, enhanced her boobs *giggles* She does everything she can to look younger than she really is . She doesn't like birthday parties and doesn't want any gifts that day since it does remind her of her age. That's why you don't ask. I don't mind. I am comfortable with myself and apperance.

[COLOR=DeepSkyBlue]
Now, we want to know why Laura was shocked, don't we?
[/COLOR]

I'm sorry, I didn't realize you might not know. I think you know about the age of consent. In most western countries it is 16-18. Leagally below the age of consent it is statutory rape even if the girl consents, it could also be considered pedophilia especially if the girl is <14. This carries very stiff penalties even if you are released, you are put on the sex offenders list. Morally men do not take jr high students to bed. Hypothetically: You have a single parent and he/she starts dating one of your friends from school. Maybe brings them home at night or or occasion they spend the weekend together. What is your reaction? :

[COLOR=DeepSkyBlue]

... must care about their online selves, and care about the person who is putting them in 'time-out'
[/COLOR]
I know you read the thread [url=http://www.otakuboards.com/showthread.php?t=43810] [COLOR=Deeppink]it's takes a village[/color][/url], yours was the first response. It's the same thing here. What do you think about virtual hugs or when I go *giggles* or *dances away scattering kisses about* I do care about my online self. As far as I'm concerned this is an extension of the "village". It is also difficult to express your feelings in text, that's how most misunderstandings happen online. So on some forums I do something like this. [url=http://home.earthlink.net/~lady_rin/giggle2.html][COLOR=Deeppink]*giggles* [SIZE=1] click it[/color][/SIZE] [/url] in your case since I'm a little frustrated I might do this [url=http://home.earthlink.net/~lady_rin/giggle2.html][COLOR=Deeppink]*sigh* [SIZE=1]click it again please[/color][/SIZE]* [/url] or this [url=http://home.earthlink.net/~lady_rin/oh.html] [COLOR=Deeppink]if you would one more time please [/color][SIZE=1]click it[/SIZE]*[/url]. It gets my true feeling across like my animated smilies so instead of saying NO! I can say [IMG]http://img14.photobucket.com/albums/v43/desertranger/nonono.gif[/IMG].

Do you care about your offline self or the person who is putting you in real 'time-out' however it's done? At home it is also an expression that a parent cares and you want your children to do right. Remember I have a son your age, he does care about his online self.
[COLOR=DeepSkyBlue]
[size=3] I dare you to say that I have no manners.[/size] [/color]

If you don't care about your online self then it shouldn't matter if I say you are ill-mannered or have no manners. In fact I shouldn't be able to hurt your feelings at all since you don't care about your online self.


[COLOR=DeepSkyBlue]
This is 2004, not some dated time-period, and the definitions of manners and etiquette has changed[/color]

Not really. What has happened is parents have stopped teaching etiquette and manners. Don't wear a hat inside, help a lady (your girlfriend, mother) take a seat at a table and hold doors open for people. You should try googling etiqutte and manners. You might look [URL=http://calstaging.bemidjistate.edu/en3930/steinkopf/manners/kids.html][color=deeppink]here[/color][/URL] and [URL=http://www.ramcigar.com/news/2002/04/19/Campus/Lessons.In.Etiquitte.May.Be.Secret.Weapon.For.Job.Market.Success-240735.shtml] [color=deeppink]here[/color][/URL] chosen at random from a quick google search.

[COLOR=DeepSkyBlue]

(mis-understand)...which you have done on occasion, don't be shy about it. [/COLOR]

Actually I have done that more than on ocassion, one time it almost destroyed the friendships I had made on another forum. If you look at my past postings you will find apologys' scattered here and there when I erred. On the other hand I have seen very few posted here and would be hard pressed to find one. Note there is an apology in this post. near the top.

[quote="Sevotharte"]
...(Rin and Ranger) had sexual relations at this time, since I doubt that they did

...why it's not socially acceptable for a sixteen-year-old girl to date a thirty-six year old guy?

[/quote]

Actually we met when I was 19.

I shall stay out of that one since Ranger and I had a smiliar relationship. Remember that there are countries today where girls are married in arranged marriages at the age of 12-14. My marriage was originally arranged, so you see it happens even so called civilized countries.


[quote="Sevotharte"]
H'anyways, for those of you that this does work out for, kudos to you! Ranger and Rin, I admire your strength and dedication to each other, and I can tell you are both very much in love. Props to thee ^^[/quote]

Thank you very much *deep curtsey* [URL=http://home.earthlink.net/~lady_rin/giggle_sweet.html] [color=deeppink]embarrassed she blushes[/color][/URL]










Sevotharte let me ask please for this posting. In that last line; what was your first reaction or feeling expressed when you read it.

[Brasil]

Lady_Rin, I'm going to make a request on the behalf of everyone here.

Will you please start living in reality? I don't mean to be rude, but your entire replies here are nothing but incoherent gibberish that have absolutely no substantial bearing on anything that can be considered worthwhile and/or relevant to real-life. Cases in point:

[quote name='Lady_Rin']And that makes you think he doesn't. Not only that he does it for real. I have shoved him onto the same corner used for the children for ill-mannered behavior at the Alamo, a place not known for its manners. The purpose behind timeout can be found in Zen which I have taught the children.[/quote]What does this have to do with anything? What does the Alamo have to do with anything we're discussing here? Furthermore, what is the Alamo? Is it the actual Alamo, the one in Texas? What is it? Your first sentence makes no discernible sense there. What are you talking about? Your paragraph there is just one long ramble with no point whatsoever.

Oh, you put Ranger in Time-out at a tourist trap? Big deal. That's not proof that Time-out is effective, because, pardon my bluntness, your relationship is not realistic in the least--in fact, it's based on some bizarre and outlandish Idealistic skewing of Arthurian Chivalry. If you'd care to argue with me about my observation there, by all means, go for it. I've been studying British Lore/Literature for the past four years, and I'm very well-versed in it, as many here know.

[QUOTE]There actually is a reason. Most women don't want to be reminded of their age. Especially after their 29th birthday. Mrs H my supervisor is that way, she's 36 and goes overboard on how her body looks. Another example is Lilah, an aquaintance, she's my age. She does botox, had a tummy tuck, enhanced her boobs *giggles* She does everything she can to look younger than she really is . She doesn't like birthday parties and doesn't want any gifts that day since it does remind her of her age. That's why you don't ask. I don't mind. I am comfortable with myself and apperance.[/QUOTE]I don't see how any of this has any bearing on Baron's point. Baron was talking about asking about the age difference. You're trying to focus squarely on age. You still haven't answered his question about why it was so inappropriate to ask about the age difference, especially when you were the one who brought it up first, in your rambling about your history with Ranger.

Furthermore, this inane Ideal that it's inappropriate to ask a woman about her age...is an outdated social dogma that dates back long before any of us were around. It's a social dogma that holds little bearing in today's society, and contrary to popular belief, the...devotion to this simply absurd "rule" of social interaction is not improving the level of social interaction...not at all. You're not empowering women, or even encouraging respecting women by hanging on to these outdated social dogma.

Would you like to know what you are doing? You're hurting women. Women are insecure about their age because of that social dogma you're preaching here. If we can't ask women about their age, then that implies there's something wrong with older women, which then makes them feel inferior. Lady_Rin, you're damaging women and the social perception of women far more than any of us ever can.

[quote]I know you read the thread [url="http://www.otakuboards.com/showthread.php?t=43810"]it's takes a village[/url], yours was the first response. It's the same thing here. What do you think about virtual hugs or when I go *giggles* or *dances away scattering kisses about* I do care about my online self. As far as I'm concerned this is an extension of the "village". It is also difficult to express your feelings in text, that's how most misunderstandings happen online. So on some forums I do something like this. [url="http://home.earthlink.net/~lady_rin/giggle2.html"]*giggles* click it [/url]in your case since I'm a little frustrated I might do this [url="http://home.earthlink.net/~lady_rin/giggle2.html"]*sigh* click it again please* [/url]or this [url="http://home.earthlink.net/~lady_rin/oh.html"]if you would one more time please click it*[/url].[/quote]Hold on. The "village" isn't real. Again, like the age "Etiquette," it's yet another outdated social dogma that has absolutely no bearing in today's society, and again, I'm going to request that you start living in the present, in reality.

Now, what is this "online as an extension of the village" tripe? The "village" was nothing more than a group of people helping to raise a child by providing moral and economic support. I don't see us helping each other raise our children. I don't see Baron here helping you mow your lawn. I don't see anyone here taking your children for walks in the park, or playing with them on the swingset out back.

Online as an extension of the village? Give me a break.

Lady_Rin, get with the program here and realize that everything you want to believe is a lie.

[quote]If you don't care about your online self then it shouldn't matter if I say you are ill-mannered or have no manners. In fact I shouldn't be able to hurt your feelings at all since you don't care about your online self.[/quote]I couldn't care less about my online self. I don't try to present myself in the best light possible. I don't litter my posts with meaningless links and animated anime GIFs in some vain attempt to "prettify" my online persona. Do you know why?

Because online means jacksh-t, pardon my language. It means absolutely nothing. I come on here to converse, to catch up with my friends, to goof off, and that's what Baron does, as well. We don't get online to ramble incoherently about unrelated topics. We don't get online to spew twisted Arthurian Chivalry. We don't get online to make ourselves pretty, because it's pointless to do so, and a major, major waste of time.

But, hey, you want to continue to waste your time, be my guest.

You know what...I want you to really think about what your worldview is. I want you to really think about what it is you do and say. The links you provide do nothing more than color you as an Idealistic fool, no offense. There's a rather wide, thick line between respecting a significant other and taking it to the unhealthy level of hyperbolic Arthurian Chivalry. You crossed that line, so, if you would, please [url="http://img117.exs.cx/my.php?loc=img117&image=s4kstfun00b.jpg"]click[/url].

EDIT: You say it's difficult to express your feelings in text? If you have absolutely no comprehension, and have no idea at all how to use the English language (or any language for that matter) correctly and succinctly, then, yes, you're going to be useless when it comes to conveying a meaning, or expressing an idea.

However, if you possess even the most basic Literary functions, there should be no problem at all in clearly stating when you want to say. At that point, any further failure to state a clear and concise point isn't a matter of skill, or difficulty; it's a matter of not wanting to.

[Retribution]

Whoa. That was an uber pwnd. (lolzorz)

Not saying that you are wrong Siren, but was all of that necessary? You put your point across very well, but it was ... a little to harsh?

But Lady_Rin, Siren does have a good point.

[Roxie Faye]

[quote name='Lady_Rin']From the view point of etiquette and manners you never ask a woman her age or ask her to make a reference to it. You can offend many women this way. On the other hand they are women and am a girl. If I was a woman I wouldn't be here.[/quote]

[quote=desertranger]The dumbest thing? Baron Samedi asking Rins age.
I'm surprised she didn't put you into time out. [/quote]

[color=#9933ff]You're the one who brought up the whole age difference, so why shouldn't Baron ask the [b]age difference[/b] between you and Ranger? He wasn't asking your age - it was a valid question that I'm sure any moderator would agree it was. You can't be dim witted enough not to think nobody would want to know the age difference between the two of you.

There was no need to use an accusatory tone to "educate him" on his "lack of so-called manners."

And by the way, Ranger wasn't very nice, just to let you know. Baron wasn't being mean, thusly, there really wasn't a need for that response.

Why don't we all just apologise and move on. Actually, I'm suprised a mod hasn't closed this yet since it's becoming a full blown out arguement.

And I'm sorry if you take this offensively - I'm just trying to point out that Baron does have a good point. Have a nice day. ^_^;[/color]

[Seibzeihn]

[font=garamond][color=navy]Totally ignoring the above, because my question is utterly unrelated, heheh...*sweatdrop*


[quote name='Lady Rin']Sevotharte let me ask please for this posting. In that last line; what was your first reaction or feeling expressed when you read it.[/quote]

Forgive my ignorance, but...The last line of what?[/color][/font]

[ChibiHorsewoman]

[color=darkviolet]I'm going to ignore this whole thing because 1.) my mom's 51 and doesn't care who knows and 2.) it makes my head hurt.

But would a really funny break up count as something idiotic said about a relationship? Because I have a good one. When I broke up with my ex over the phone he told me to hurry up because he didn't have much time to talk to me-honestly I was still thinking of trying to work on it until he said that. I replied 'Ok, I'll hurry up. My doctor wants me to lose weight so I'm starting with you. I have to break up with you bhecause my dog feels neglected and your breath is like Altoids in reverse. Was that quick enough?'

Yes, I said that all in one breath and very fast. For soem reason instead of a reply he hung up the phone. I didn't hear from him again until I began seeing Lincoln. Somehow he found out about it and came to bother me at work saying' I heard you were seeing Lincoln.' and 'Was that why you broke up with me?' and basically harassing me.

But yeah, that was idiodic.[/color]

[Adahn]

[font=Courier New][size=2][color=blue]First, Siren, was all that necessary? Almost everything (if not everything) that was in your post could have been sent in a private message, as I am unable to see any part of it that has anything to do with the original topic.[/color][/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][size=2][color=#0000ff][/color][/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][size=2][color=#0000ff]Baron, Lady Rin, and desertranger; did Lady Rin not answer the question? She wouldn't have answered if she were offended (I think), so I don't really see an argument. If you want to discuss morality and etiquette, start a new thread. It's a worthy topic.[/color][/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][size=2][color=#0000ff][/color][/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][size=2][color=#0000ff]As for love, I think we have alot of control over it. I can destroy love, I've done it before. It's as easy as replacing a lightbulb. If a lightbulb burns out, you get a new one. If one flickers, you can either try to fix it, or replace it. If you find one that works, there's no reason to change it. Who knows how long you'll be flooded in darkness before you can find another one? Some people change their lightbulbs because they're afraid it will flicker or burn out. Some people change them because they start to look old. I really, really hate metaphors.[/color][/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][size=2][color=#0000ff][/color][/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][size=2][color=#0000ff]Hmm, stupid things people say. It's pretty dumb when someone tells you who you love. Yes, it does happen. Here's an example.[/color][/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][size=2][color=#0000ff][/color][/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][size=2][color=#0000ff]Person A: I love Person C.[/color][/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][size=2][color=#0000ff]Person B: You don't love person C.[/color][/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][size=2][color=#0000ff][/color][/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][size=2][color=#0000ff]This might not seem like too large a problem, but I'm very easily manipulated. Something like that (with a little reasoning) is enough to make me kill a relationship.[/color][/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][size=2][color=#0000ff][/color][/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][size=2][color=#0000ff]Now, for relationships in general. If it were enough to say, "Your relationship probably won't last." everyone's relationship would come into question. Why? Because there are enough normal, conventional reasons to say that every relationship that has existed, exists, and will exist, is wrong by in one way, or in many different ways.[/color][/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][size=2][color=#0000ff][/color][/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][size=2][color=#0000ff]Since these conventional ideas are so many and so widespread, it would be impossible to acknowledge them all. On the other hand, if we were to acknowledge none, that wouldn't be good either.[/color][/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][size=2][color=#0000ff][/color][/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][size=2][color=#0000ff]Everyone says that we can't define or quantify relationships, when in fact we must in order to avoid things such as incest and pedophilia. What we have to do is find a line.[/color][/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][size=2][color=#0000ff][/color][/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][size=2][color=#0000ff]Will anyone here argue in favor of incest or pedophilia? If not, then we have a base to work from. If we're going to draw a line, why not look at it biologically? As soon as you reach sexual maturity, why is it wrong to have those relationships? I'll draw my line there. It is inappropriate to engage in sexual activity with someone who has not reached sexual maturity. Social/Emotional maturity are dictated by conventions, and aren't in accordance with nature.[/color][/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][size=2][color=#0000ff][/color][/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][size=2][color=#0000ff]Statutory rape is really a funny thing. It basically says that one is not old enough to make decisions about sexual activity until one reaches a certain age. Excuse me, but, is a 15-year old incapable of making conscious decisions? Is there a line we can draw based on age where people on one side can't make decisions, but after one day, they are suddenly capable of doing so? One could argue that it is for the best interests of the majority, but if we are to look at politics these days, there truly is a fine line between the majority and the minority.[/color][/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][size=2][color=#0000ff][/color][/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][size=2][color=#0000ff]There are two forms of right and wrong. There is what man decides is right and wrong (conventionality), and there is what nature decides is right and wrong. You can't argue with nature. The best we can do is try and understand what the nature of humanity is, and lay our laws in accordance with that.[/color][/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][size=2][color=#0000ff][/color][/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][size=2][color=#0000ff]Oh, on a side note, I'd like to point out how happy and amused I am at seeing all the talk about Rin and Ranger. You two are very interesting people, and despite Siren's beliefs, I am confident that we all enjoy your presence and comments here.[/color][/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][size=2][color=#0000ff][/color][/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][size=2][color=#0000ff][/color][/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][color=#0000ff][/color][/font]

[Baron Samedi]

[size=1][quote name='Adahn']Statutory rape is really a funny thing. It basically says that one is not old enough to make decisions about sexual activity until one reaches a certain age. Excuse me, but, is a 15-year old incapable of making conscious decisions? Is there a line we can draw based on age where people on one side can't make decisions, but after one day, they are suddenly capable of doing so? One could argue that it is for the best interests of the majority, but if we are to look at politics these days, there truly is a fine line between the majority and the minority.[/quote]
I believe it is more due to the immaturity of some teenagers, the lack of responsibility they may have towards sex, and the fact that older men can generally exert a lot of pressure on a young girl. But, hey, you enjoy Rin and Ranger's company. That probably makes no sense to you, right?

Sorry. Personal jibes aside, all my points are valid.

[quote=Adahn]Oh, on a side note, I'd like to point out how happy and amused I am at seeing all the talk about Rin and Ranger. You two are very interesting people, and despite Siren's beliefs, I am confident that we all enjoy your presence and comments here.
[/quote]
I'd like to think you were being sarcastic, but anyway, we all talked about Bin Laden, but I don't know how many of us enjoyed it.

[quote name='Adahn']Baron, Lady Rin, and desertranger; did Lady Rin not answer the question? She wouldn't have answered if she were offended (I think), so I don't really see an argument. If you want to discuss morality and etiquette, start a new thread. It's a worthy topic.[/quote]
Lady Rin did answer the question, though her comment in it was liable to be taken both ways. It was desertrangers' comments which were innapropriate, I feel, and brought this whole thing to light. Plus, the discussion of whether or not Rin and Ranger read the question correctly, and whether such information as the age difference was important, was necessary.

[quote name='Rin']And that makes you think he doesn't. Not only that he does it for real. I have shoved him onto the same corner used for the children for ill-mannered behavior at the Alamo, a place not known for its manners. The purpose behind timeout can be found in Zen which I have taught the children.[/quote]
That is stupid. If a grown person, cannot actively review their own actions without being put in a corner like some naughty toddler, there is something seriously wrong. As it stands, your relationship sounds strange. I mean, is Ranger a human, or is he a puppydog?

[quote name='Rin']There actually is a reason. Most women don't want to be reminded of their age. Especially after their 29th birthday. Mrs H my supervisor is that way, she's 36 and goes overboard on how her body looks. Another example is Lilah, an aquaintance, she's my age. She does botox, had a tummy tuck, enhanced her boobs *giggles* She does everything she can to look younger than she really is . She doesn't like birthday parties and doesn't want any gifts that day since it does remind her of her age. That's why you don't ask. I don't mind. I am comfortable with myself and apperance.[/quote]
DO I LOOK LIKE I CARE ABOUT THE WOMEN IN YOUR WORLD?! No. You are stubbornly refusing to look at the point of this: I did not ask your age. An oblique reference, sure, but it was necessary AND YOU BROUGHT IT UP!

Do, the capitals help?

For the 'Why Laura was shocked' part, I don't give a **** about statutory rape. Laura doesn't have to be shocked about the sex side of things. If you didn't start going out with Ranger until you were 19, there is still a big age difference there. But why did you say 14 before? Sarcasm is obviously not your forte.

[quote name='Baron']As for 'time-out', the whole point of something like that is that people must care about their online selves, and care about the person who is putting them in 'time-out'. And frankly, I care about my online self, but I don't care about 'time-out'. Especially as I did nothing wrong.[/quote]
You can giggle and spread pink linky love all over the place, but you didn't answer the question, or indeed make any logical reference to what I said.

[quote name='Rin']If you don't care about your online self then it shouldn't matter if I say you are ill-mannered or have no manners. In fact I shouldn't be able to hurt your feelings at all since you don't care about your online self.[/quote]
I never said I didn't care about my online self. Literacy, anyone?

[quote name='Rin']Not really. What has happened is parents have stopped teaching etiquette and manners. Don't wear a hat inside, help a lady (your girlfriend, mother) take a seat at a table and hold doors open for people. You should try googling etiqutte and manners. You might look here and here chosen at random from a quick google search.[/quote]
Wrong. The definitions [practical] have changed. Sure,opening a door for someone, being polite, they're all good. Taking a hat off in a restaurant, sure. But some things are dated, and I refer you to Siren's post, which as usual was correct, though acerbic.[/size]

[Brasil]

[quote name='Adahn']First, Siren, was all that necessary?[/quote]
You want some, bring it. Otherwise, shut your mouth and know your role, please. Thanks a bunch.

[QUOTE]Almost everything (if not everything) that was in your post could have been sent in a private message, as I am unable to see any part of it that has anything to do with the original topic.[/QUOTE]
How about all of what Rin/Ranger is spewing is the "idiotic things that people say about relationships"? :wow:


[quote]Baron, Lady Rin, and desertranger; did Lady Rin not answer the question? She wouldn't have answered if she were offended (I think), so I don't really see an argument. [b]If you want to discuss morality and etiquette, start a new thread. It's a worthy topic[/b].[/quote]
Rin mentioned it long before I did, Adahn. Remember that whole skewed Arthurian Chivalry? Think about it.

[quote]Oh, on a side note, I'd like to point out how happy and amused I am at seeing all the talk about Rin and Ranger. You two are very interesting people, and [b]despite Siren's beliefs, I am confident that we all enjoy your presence and comments here[/b].[/QUOTE]
I think four or five various MyO main entries and the 12 to 20 comments that followed might punch a major hole in your assessment there, Adahn.

[Adahn]

[QUOTE=Baron Samedi][size=1]
I believe it is more due to the immaturity of some teenagers, the lack of responsibility they may have towards sex, and the fact that older men can generally exert a lot of pressure on a young girl. But, hey, you enjoy Rin and Ranger's company. That probably makes no sense to you, right?
[/QUOTE]
[font=Courier New][size=2][color=blue]I believe it is more due to the [u]immaturity[/u] of [u]some[/u] teenagers, the lack of responsibility they [u]may[/u] have towards sex, and the [u]fact[/u] that [u]older men[/u] can [u]generally[/u] exert [u]alot[/u] of pressure on a [u]young girl[/u].[/color][/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][size=2][color=#0000ff][/color][/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][size=2][color=#0000ff]Define the necessary level of maturity. Quantify some. Clarify may. Help me to understand how you can use fact and generally together like that. Quantify and explain alot of pressure. Define young girl and explain to me how it doesn't apply to young men.[/color][/size][/font]

[QUOTE=Baron Samedi]
Sorry. Personal jibes aside, all my points are valid.
[/QUOTE]
[font=Courier New][size=2][color=#0000ff]I'll pass my own judgment on the validity of your points after you've elaborated.[/color][/size][/font]

[QUOTE=Baron Samedi]
I'd like to think you were being sarcastic, but anyway, we all talked about Bin Laden, but I don't know how many of us enjoyed it.
[/QUOTE]
[font=Courier New][size=2][color=#0000ff]You're equating an innocent couple to a mass-murdering terrorist. I could use more adjectives, but those will do. Some people don't write conventionally. I find it difficult to pull anything out of 'idea form' without a great deal of effort, and that's why I get attacked.[/color][/size][/font]


[/size]

[ChibiHorsewoman]

[QUOTE=Lady_Rin][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=DarkOrchid][i]
From the view point of etiquette and manners you never ask a woman her age or ask her to make a reference to it. You can offend many women this way. On the other hand they are women and am a girl.[/i] If I was a woman I wouldn't be here.

Ranger is 58, I am 41 the difference is 17 years. He still calls me a "cute and adorable young woman" and "my little girl".

[/COLOR]
[/SIZE][/FONT][/QUOTE]

[color=darkviolet]Ookay, now I know what everyone is up in arms about...I think. Honestly you just freaked me out right there and it takes a lot to freak me out. My daughter was choking last week and I managed to stay calm enough to remember infant CPR, that didn't freak me out, you do.

First off, I have no problem with someone asking my age since most people think that I'm a lot younger (about 7 years younger) than I really am. I'm 23, I think it's a bit out dated and does a lot to help to perpetuate the stigma that older women are somehow less desirable than younger women. Of course, you couldn't prove that with Ashton and Demi. My mom's 51, she looks about 39, so I don't think she's offended by peopel asking her age either. And we're both women.

I find it creepy that you think it's cute that your [i]husband[/i] referes to you as his little girl. Me personally, I'd gag if my husband called me that. He can't do it in teh first place since I'm nearly a whole year older than him, but it would creep me out if I was younger and he did do that.

Also, i find it rather amusing that two of the oldest people on this board are acting like children. Maybe you should get a time out instead of Baron.

I'm sure you're a very nice interesting individual, both of you, but maybe you should take some time to practice what you preach when it comes to manners.[/color]

[Lunai]

[font=georgia][color=blue][i]To be honest, I am more than a little tired of all this Rin-bashing.

Alright. So you're upset behind the comment her husband made. And you don't understand where she's coming from with her set of personal values regarding the internet, and interpersonal relationships.

Deal. And move on.

I'm sure that we can all find something better to do than gang up on two members because you've decided that you feel slighted and that her views are "old fashioned". Enough is enough.[/font][/color][/i]

[Adahn]

[QUOTE=Siren]You want some, bring it. Otherwise, shut your mouth and know your role, please. Thanks a bunch.

How about all of what Rin/Ranger is spewing is the "idiotic things that people say about relationships"? :wow:

Rin mentioned it long before I did, Adahn. Remember that whole skewed Arthurian Chivalry? Think about it.[/QUOTE]
[font=Courier New][size=2][color=blue]I was merely pointing out that your post was aimed at Lady Rin and consisted mainly of personal critiques that would have been more effective and appropriate if sent in a private messaage.[/color][/size][/font]

[QUOTE=Siren]
I think four or five various MyO main entries and the 12 to 20 comments that followed might punch a major hole in your assessment there, Adahn.[/QUOTE][font=Courier New][size=2][color=#0000ff]I apologize. I guess I'm just a bad judge of character.[/color][/size][/font]

[Baron Samedi]

[size=1][quote=Adahn]I believe it is more due to the immaturity of some teenagers, the lack of responsibility they may have towards sex, and the fact that older men can generally exert alot of pressure on a young girl.

Define the necessary level of maturity. Quantify some. Clarify may. Help me to understand how you can use fact and generally together like that. Quantify and explain alot of pressure. Define young girl and explain to me how it doesn't apply to young men.[/quote]

Would you disagree that it is widely accepted that you have reached the necessary level of maturity, responsibility and intelligence by 17-18? This is a general thing, not a case-by-case basis. Should a 15 year old be looking after a baby? I can easily use 'fact' and 'generally' because the laws of English allow you to. In that circumstance of usage, at least. If you find that wrong, then re-think it.

Sure, it applies to young men, but young women are at a higher level of endangerment, because women are generally the ones who are taken advantage of. Agreed? Pressure could be an older man making moves on a younger girl...and because she looks up to him, in awe [if you will], she could submit, unwillingly.

I used to think you had a modicum of intelligence...but your views on acceptable ages for sex concern me.

[quote name='Adahn']You're equating an innocent couple to a mass-murdering terrorist. I could use more adjectives, but those will do. Some people don't write conventionally. I find it difficult to pull anything out of 'idea form' without a great deal of effort, and that's why I get attacked.[/quote]
Then I'll compare Rin and Ranger to Taylor Hewitt and Dayday. Is that more accurate? I think so. Apologies for unwisely choosing my initial comparison.[/size]

[James]

[color=#707875]I don't see why anyone would view Lady Rin as being a victim here. Although I think that some comments are a little venomous...Lady Rin has brought up the issue. At OtakuBoards, you are responsible for your own words. If someone wants to debate you on a particular point, they can -- so let's not blow it out of proportion.

I think that Siren probably put it best, even though the tone of his post was undesirable at various points.

Rather than degenerate this by describing it as "bashing Rin", let's try to actually have a discussion about the issues raised in the thread. These are all legitimate topics of conversation -- I actually find it interesting to hear everybody's thoughts on the whole etiquette point.

However, we can have that discussion and still avoid personal attacks and general rudeness. I'd urge everyone to remember that. If you guys want to have a discussion about the issues, you're free to do so. But if this starts getting dragged into a "who is bashing who" cycle, I will either close the thread or remove offending posts.[/color]

[Adahn]

[QUOTE=Baron Samedi][size=1]
Would you disagree that it is widely accepted that you have reached the necessary level of maturity, responsibility and intelligence by 17-18? This is a general thing, not a case-by-case basis. Should a 15 year old be looking after a baby? I can easily use 'fact' and 'generally' because the laws of English allow you to. In that circumstance of usage, at least. If you find that wrong, then re-think it.
[/QUOTE]
[font=Courier New][size=2][color=blue]If your argument is based on the ability of someone to raise a child, then should we restrict the sexual activity of poor people? A 15 year old with middle-class supportive parents would have a better ability to raise a child than an older couple lacking necessary resources.[/color][/size][/font]

[QUOTE=Baron Samedi]
Sure, it applies to young men, but young women are at a higher level of endangerment, because women are generally the ones who are taken advantage of. Agreed? Pressure could be an older man making moves on a younger girl...and because she looks up to him, in awe [if you will], she could submit, unwillingly.
[/QUOTE]
[font=Courier New][size=2][color=#0000ff]I didn't know you could generalize women like that. Are they so different, or is it that our society has created the role they must live in, which includes the generalization that women are to be taken advantage of?[/color][/size][/font]

[QUOTE=Baron Samedi]
I used to think you had a modicum of intelligence...but your views on acceptable ages for sex concern me.
[/size][/QUOTE]
[font=Courier New][size=2][color=#0000ff]It's hardly a view, more of an idea. Would you care to explain to me why a biological approach to sex is unintelligent?[/color][/size][/font]

[Baron Samedi]

[size=1][quote=Adahn]
If your argument is based on the ability of someone to raise a child, then should we restrict the sexual activity of poor people? A 15 year old with middle-class supportive parents would have a better ability to raise a child than an older couple lacking necessary resources.
[/quote]
Maybe we should, but this is on a general basis, based on something easier to quantify. It is easier [and more intelligent] to base sexual age limitations on...age. And, I never said that it matters how well they raise the baby, just whether they have the ability to.

Money good parents makes not.

You're arguing that people should be able to walk through walls, because there is more empty spaces in atoms than anything else. It is logical, but stupid.

Are you saying that women are not more at risk of being taken advantage of?

Are you saying that just because we can, we should?

Some 11 year old girls have the capability to have children. Ask yourself, if it is right for an 11 year old girl and a 40 year old man to have sex and procreate? They can. But should they?[/size]

[wiccansamurai]

Adahn, I hope you're not arguing in favor of pedophilia. I'm not saying you are, but if you are, you're going to get an earful from me.


Any who.... I don't understand friends who think you shouldn't go out with a guy just because they don't like them. I mean, if they had a good reason other than the fact that they don't get along, then maybe I'd listen. A lot of my friends don't like my current boyfriend. I can understand why, he tends to rub people the wrong way at first. But I don't see why they care as long as I'm happy.

Just trying to keep it on topic. ^_^

[Adahn]

[font=Courier New][color=blue]I would never argue in favor of pedophilia. I would like to know anything and everything that is wrong with a woman who's reached sexual maturity having sex. Please be as specific as possible. Also, for the record, I (personally) don't think it's right.[/color][/font]

[James]

[quote name='Adahn][font=Courier New][color=blue]I would never argue in favor of pedophilia. I would like to know anything and everything that is wrong with a woman who's reached sexual maturity having sex. Please be as specific as possible. Also, for the record, I (personally) don't think it's right.[/color'][/font][/quote]

[color=#707875]Why don't you think it's right? You seem to have been trying to convince us that it's right in your previous posts. Or at least, you've been arguing against those who think it is wrong. If you think it's wrong yourself, then this leads me to believe that you were arguing for the sake of argument, and not in any attempt to learn something new or to have a real debate.

If you don't think it's right, I'd ask you why you don't. That way, perhaps you can answer your own question.

I think the answers are obvious. Sexual maturity is a process and not something that you reach when you wake up one morning. Girls often begin maturing sexually at maybe 11 or 12 and that process continues for several years (as it does with boys).

Obviously, there are serious personal and social ramifications involved with very young girls having sex and giving birth. I don't know why there would really be any debate about that. [/color]

[Brasil]

[quote name='Adahn']I was merely pointing out that your post was aimed at Lady Rin and consisted mainly of personal critiques that would have been more effective and appropriate if sent in a private messaage.[/quote]
Personal critiques, yes, because I was critiquing her incredibly flawed worldview, and her clinging on to ancient social dogma that perpetuates harmful social and gender-based myths. Where's the problem with that?

[quote]I apologize. I guess I'm just a bad judge of character.[/QUOTE]
No worries, but you may want to get the whole story before commenting in the future.

[Annie]

[QUOTE=Lady_Rin]You can start with the thread on getting chicks. Most of the idiotic things that have been said in relationships were said there.

Laura L. told me that I was really to young to have a long term relationship with Ranger. She also once asked Ranger didn't he think I was a little too young for him. I heard that and I told her that we had been going together since I was 14. You should have seen the look on her face. That wasn't too smart on my part as Laura started this whole thing about me and in a small town that can be a problem...[/QUOTE]

[color=indigo][size=1]That [b]was[/b] idiodic on your own part. And from now on, I would be more careful as to whom I talked to about these things. Especially online. Look at where it got you, and Ranger. [/color][/size]

[QUOTE=Lady_Rin]
Addressed to all of you, Don't you think you should treat this virtual world as a real one? I do, you are as real as my neightbors even if you only are a data stream. We interact with each other (a relationship) and get flustered and angry (e.g.Barons reply), mis-understand what other people are trying to say, even more so than out here and attempt to create a nice neighborhood where we don't have to worry about the bikers metaphorical reference. In that case I would think that the commonly accepted rules of behaivor would be the same here. Or is behavior in here different from behavior out there. Is the virtual world allowed to have a different set of rules about how we conduct ourselves than the real one.
[/quote]

[color=indigo][size=1]In any case, you are not personal with everyone on the internet. People are completely different online than they are offline. A person in real life may be very shy, but when they are online, they don't have to see the person they are "talking" to; giving confidence to speak up and have the "hey, it's only the internet" mentality. Which could lead to misunderstandings of "manners" and attitudes towards certain areas.

Our behavior [b]is[/b] different here on the net than in IRL. We do have a different set of rules. Reason being, you don't know people online. Certain people take certain topics too personally and/or offensively; other people don't.

"Commonly accepted rules of behavior''? Not everyone has the same "rules" as you might consider acceptable. And that's why there is so much conflict online. Like this whole thread.

I don't think Siren's posts were unnecessary. Harsh, no. Bluntly honest. Sometimes people just need an extra grain of salt to tip the scale of reality.[/color][/size]

[Adahn]

[QUOTE=James][color=#707875]Why don't you think it's right? You seem to have been trying to convince us that it's right in your previous posts. Or at least, you've been arguing against those who think it is wrong. If you think it's wrong yourself, then this leads me to believe that you were arguing for the sake of argument, and not in any attempt to learn something new or to have a real debate.

If you don't think it's right, I'd ask you why you don't. That way, perhaps you can answer your own question.[/QUOTE]
[font=Courier New][size=2][color=blue]Basically, the reason I think it's wrong is that I don't like the idea of someone my little sister's age (12) getting into that sort of relationship.[/color][/size][/font]

[QUOTE=James]
I think the answers are obvious. Sexual maturity is a process and not something that you reach when you wake up one morning. Girls often begin maturing sexually at maybe 11 or 12 and that process continues for several years (as it does with boys)[/QUOTE]
[font=Courier New][size=2][color=#0000ff]If this process is different for everyone, then it is difficult to place age barriers on relationships. This can be seen in the laws and customs of every place in the world. Perhaps sexual maturity should be determined on a case-by-case basis? A trip to the doctor isn't too expensive, nor is it too difficult. Anyone can lie about their age, but if some sort of proof of maturity were made available, it would make it very easy for potential partners to recognize each other's maturity without making it easy to deceive one another. Coupled with an increase in the harshness of penalties (due to clearer indication and clarity of maturity) for relationships with those who aren't sexually mature, I think less relationships between those who are mature and those who aren't would occur. For one, it protects those who reach sexual maturity later from engaging in sexual acts before they're ready. Another reason is that if it were done on a case-by-case basis, it would be very clear that having a relationship with someone not sexually mature is morally and biologically wrong. This may affect those who have relationships in order to rebel, because they are no longer defying a law that could be construed as wrong.[/color][/size][/font]

[QUOTE=James]
Obviously, there are serious personal and social ramifications involved with very young girls having sex and giving birth. I don't know why there would really be any debate about that. [/color][/QUOTE]
[font=Courier New][size=2][color=#0000ff]There are serious personal and social ramifications involved with any girl having sex and giving birth. The only reason these ramifications exist is because an age barrier has been placed where it does not belong. If everyone says it's wrong, it's very difficult to insist that it is right. However, if instead of generalizing and setting a barrier that may not even apply to the majority of people, I think it would be more effective and less painful to judge maturity on a more personal level. You can't lie about your sexual maturity to a doctor. Again, the innefectiveness of these laws can be seen by the varying laws concerning sexual consent that exist in every state. Unifying the age of consent by actual sexual maturity would protect those who mature later, and allow those who are ready for that kind of relationship to engage in those activities lawfully and in accordance with nature.[/color][/size][/font]

[James]

[quote name='Adahn][font=Courier New][size=2][color=blue]Basically, the reason I think it's wrong is that I don't like the idea of someone my little sister's age (12) getting into that sort of relationship.[/color][/size'][/font][/quote]

[color=#707875]Why not? Keep going. You're answering your own question and effectively making the statements below pretty redundant. Keep following that line of thought. Why don't you like the idea of someone your little sister's age in that type of relationship? Because they are [i]too young[/i] for it?[/color]


[quote][font=Courier New][size=2][color=#0000ff]If this process is different for everyone, then it is difficult to place age barriers on relationships. This can be seen in the laws and customs of every place in the world. Perhaps sexual maturity should be determined on a case-by-case basis? A trip to the doctor isn't too expensive, nor is it too difficult. Anyone can lie about their age, but if some sort of proof of maturity were made available, it would make it very easy for potential partners to recognize each other's maturity without making it easy to deceive one another. Coupled with an increase in the harshness of penalties (due to clearer indication and clarity of maturity) for relationships with those who aren't sexually mature, I think less relationships between those who are mature and those who aren't would occur. For one, it protects those who reach sexual maturity later from engaging in sexual acts before they're ready. Another reason is that if it were done on a case-by-case basis, it would be very clear that having a relationship with someone not sexually mature is morally and biologically wrong. This may affect those who have relationships in order to rebel, because they are no longer defying a law that could be construed as wrong.[/color][/size][/font][/quote]

[color=#707875]Okay, firstly, it isn't different for everyone. All girls and boys go through sexual change from approximately 11 through to 16 or so. Obviously there are specific differences in the starting and ending times, but generally speaking, people of this age are still physically developing.

Secondly, no government can define when someone is emotionally ready for a relationship. You simply can't go around and interview every single person to determine whether or not they are ready for sex -- the perfect legislative solution does not, and will never, exist.

Children should not be having sex for many reasons -- a lack of physical development and a lack of mental/emotional development being the primary issues.

Obviously making a lower age limit (18 or whatever it is) isn't ideal. Some people will have sex and be ready for it before then (I first had sex at 16 and was completely prepared for it). [i]However[/i], it is completely impossible and ridiculous to have a case by case basis. Teens aren't going to visit a doctor to get permission to have sex -- that's just nonsense. Educators have enough trouble teaching abstinence (because kids who want to have sex will have it regardless), so physically asking teens to visit a doctor to ascertain their maturity level is at best silly and at worst, completely ridiculous.

A doctor simply couldn't determine their readiness either -- that's for the individual to know. I doubt that a simple doctor's visit is going to make an elaborate physical and emotional determination.[/color]


[quote][font=Courier New][size=2][color=#0000ff]There are serious personal and social ramifications involved with any girl having sex and giving birth. The only reason these ramifications exist is because an age barrier has been placed where it does not belong. If everyone says it's wrong, it's very difficult to insist that it is right. However, if instead of generalizing and setting a barrier that may not even apply to the majority of people, I think it would be more effective and less painful to judge maturity on a more personal level. You can't lie about your sexual maturity to a doctor. Again, the innefectiveness of these laws can be seen by the varying laws concerning sexual consent that exist in every state. Unifying the age of consent by actual sexual maturity would protect those who mature later, and allow those who are ready for that kind of relationship to engage in those activities lawfully and in accordance with nature.[/color][/size][/font][/QUOTE]

[color=#707875]This point is problematic in several respects.

Firstly, the general age restrictions are appropriate. Teenagers are, by definition, still developing emotionally and physically. Laws that prevent adults from having sex with teenagers/children are wholly appropriate.

Again, we could say that these laws don't always reflect reality -- they don't. A 16 year old and an 18 year old are probably quite capable of having a relationship without any problem. However, no law and no legislation or medical practice is ever going to completely assure that individuals will be protected. What you are suggesting is completely infeasible, for a variety of reasons (not least of which being that most people aren't going to submit themselves to such an assessment program).

So obviously there are many shades of grey here. But the fundamental point remains -- pedophilia is illegal for a [i]reason[/i]. Consider why you don't support it. And then consider why a broader society doesn't support it. Those reasons are (both by moral and physical/scientific standards), entirely valid.[/color]