Discuss Rough Draft of a rpg (need title) [M-SLV]

[Kwai]

[size=1][color=royalblue]This is a rough draft of a rpg that I might be posting up in the next month or so. Feed back and suggestions will be appreciated, but not taking any sign-ups yet. Have at it.[/size][/color]



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After all was said and done, they found themselves in a decidedly unfavorable position. The girl was more dead than alive, a product of needless and clumsy violence. Perhaps they shouldn?t have beaten her too much. Perhaps they should have properly restrained her during the entire process. Or perhaps they shouldn?t have dragged her into the alleyway in the first place. There were so many ?maybe we shouldn?t have??, but it was pointless now. The girl, half-naked and obviously defiled to the extreme, lay on the ground in withering breaths.

?Damn it Ken, you had to be f***ing rough on her didn?t you?!?

?Shut up man. You were the one who wanted to do this??

?Both of you give it a damn rest. We need to figure out what to do with this whore??

The three teenagers, bestial in their brutal sexuality, argued over their situation. Ironically, the girl they were so drawn to only an hour ago was now an object of despicable repulsion. They all averted their eyes from the figure on the ground. It probably was because of their determination not to look at the girl that made them such an easy prey. None of them realized the sudden spasm that rushed through her frail body. None of them saw the thin figure slowly stand up, more bestial than the teenagers during their moments of carnal pleasure. And when one of them finally noticed, the expression of surprise and horror was fixed onto his face as the girl?s teeth sank into his neck, tearing his life away in a fraction of a second. The girl, human no longer, grabbed the second teenager by the neck. A dull crack followed as blood spurted out from where her nails dug in. The third gave a shrill, horrific scream. The scream was cut off as abruptly as it began. An uneasy silence fell about the twisted alleyway, then a sickening sound of a carnivore feeding on fresh kill ensued.


???Two hours later???


Two figures, one in a dark-trench coat and the other donning a gray, worn out cloak about him, stepped into the alleyway. They looked around briefly, noting the splashes of blood on the walls, on the ground, the bones scattered unceremoniously about the dank alley with three bloodied skulls to match. The figure in the trench coat brought her wrist up to her mouth and spoke tersely.

?Area secured. Three confirmed deaths.?

The cloaked figure, meanwhile, was carefully examining the bones that were all cleaned of their meat. With a small sigh of disgust, he stood up and glanced at his partner.

?They?ve been eaten. There are gnaw marks here and there.?

The trench coat looked at the deeper end of the alley, then calmly walked towards the dead-end wall. She noted the ripped pieces of dress and female lingerie, then sighed in disgust.

?Looks like they (she glanced at the bones) tried to rape her or did rape her. Either way, they woke something up??

The cloaked figure looked down at the bones, then turned to his partner.

?Gluttony. Cannibalization to this extreme cannot possibly be the result of the other six.?

?Agreed. We?ll have to send an alert through our brethren.?

?I will see to that. You get started on tracking it. Do not, by any means, attempt to confront it alone.?

?I know that??

The trench coat leapt at the wall with super-human agility, then bounded up to the top of the building nimbly. She raised her nose into the air for a moment, then was gone in a whiff of the wind. The cloaked figure looked after her worriedly, then brought his wrist up to his face.

?Gluttony has awakened. N is tracking it. Awaiting further instructions.?

A calm, commanding voice replied from the device on his wrist.

?We will be sending a recovery team. Until then, keep the area secured.?

The cloaked figure ended the transmission, then muttered to himself softly.

?Wrath has been released, now Gluttony? God help us??
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[size=1][color=royalblue][I]
A time set in the distant future. With the rapid infiltration of technology into our daily lives, human kind no longer found need for religion. When everything in nature, when everything about the human body, mind and brain was decoded, religion became a thing of the past, something useless for the educated mind. God, of course, was nonexistent to all. Who needs God when we know everything about this world? But this obsessive dependency on science and technology made the human kind weak.
For you see, God did exist. And so did angels and demons and Lucifer and all of the other stuff that comes in package with the existence of God. Human kind couldn?t prove it, so they somehow put two and two together and came to a strange conclusion that since almighty science couldn?t prove God?s existence, God did not exist. How wrong they were. God did exist. And as a package gift, so did Lucifer and his force of demons.
The seven deadly sins, Wrath, Lust, Gluttony, Envy, Pride, Sloth, and Greed were planted by the demonic forces into the populace. Mislead that science held all answers, the spiritually and morally weakened minds of the populace were an all too fertile ground to plant the seeds of sin to harvest later, at the right time. The time of harvest has come. Once the seven dormant men and women carrying their curse of sin awakens, their kinship will draw them together to one location. Upon this location their true cathartic forms will be revealed, allowing them to wreak havoc upon the rest of the human populace and thus recreate the chaos of Hell upon this Earth.
The Heavenly side, of course, had other plans. Touching the minds of those who were the least swayed by the technological world, God chose a number of men and women to form a coalition to hunt down the sins should they awaken upon this earth. The coalition, named ?Chapel?, has been operating underground in patience during the last century, keeping a tight, careful network of spiritual surveillance on the populace, always ready to take action should they detect a fluctuation of one of the sins.
Two months ago, the Chapel detected a disturbance in the mind of a man. While the Chapel was debating over the need for action, the man awoke to Wrath. His wife and three children were brutally butchered by a meat cleaver. The man fled, a living incarnation of the sin ?Wrath?. And now, Gluttony has appeared. With the two sins freed upon this earth and the five still to come, the world lies poised upon the edge of the cliff of destruction, with the yawning maw of Hell below.
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[size=2][color=indigo]
[b]Sign-up[/b][/size]
[size=1]
[b]Name:[/b]
[b]Age:[/b]
[b]Gender:[/b]
[b]Nationality:[/b]
[b]Weapon:[/b] Two weapons permitted only for Chapel Members
[b]Ability:[/b] Two abilities permitted only for the sins
[b]Affiliation:[/b] Chapel or Sin.
[b]Description:[/b] Picture preferred
[b]Bio:[/b]
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[Danethol]

Wow...very well thought out. I generally try to stay away from the generic Heaven & Hell rp's, but this one caught my interest. I'd certainly be interested in joining. Are you going to bring recruitments into [b]Adventure Inn[/b], or simply let people apply here?

[size=1][color="#993366"][b]I can answer that question for you. The Underground is [b]not[/b] used for recruitment - that's what the Inn is for. The threads posted in this forum are for the development of stories and plots, and any general ideas or information. There should never be any sign-ups here. If you like the RPG idea, then give the creator your input and/or wait until it appears in the Inn. ^_^
--- Arcadia[/b][/color][/size]

[Corey]

[size=1]Wow.
If you birng this 'aboveground', you definitly have my signup.

Very well thought of. I hope you get a lot of serious RPers to play it through.[/size]

[Dragon Warrior]

Well, it's definately an intriguing plot. It could work out well if you get the right players and I think some graphics and the chapter system might make it a whole lot better.

As for titles, the simplest one I thought of was "The Seven Sins," but wasn't that used before? Or a more favored one by me I made was "Serpentine Delinquencies," which means demonic sins. I dunno, title making is not my mood right now XD

[Cyriel]

Were you going to add on the seven others? Title? Sanctuary. I dunno. But as always, you come up with such intriguing and original twists on things... Hope to see this up soon...that is, if you get off your butt. ;) bwa ha ha.

[PiroMunkie]

[size=1]I think allowing people to sign up for the sins would be a bad idea. I would either (A) control them yourself, or (B) ask people through private messaging, people who you know can RP really well here on the boards, to play them for you when needed. Allowing people to sign up for both will lead to conlict of interest and imbalance.

I can personally relate it to playing Dungeons & Dragons, if you set up a campaign allowing any alignment, you can get Good aligned players playing along with Evil, Lawful with Chaotic. It will be too hard to control to keep the story going well.


I personally like my second idea of getting good role-players to play them for you, and just have the sign-ups for those of the Chapel. The Sins play an intricate part of this RPG, and you do not just want any random shmoe signing up for it. I bet you have an ideal plan of how each Sin is supposed to be. So it would make more sense to give a few select people an outline of their character, and see if they are up for it. You could always have a person play more than one Sin if they and you are up for it, just to limit the number of people actually playing.

How will this affect overall role-play. If you get a good staff of Sins working with any staff of Chapels, the PC-on-PC roleplay will get very interesting. Choosing experienced role-players who will not be power-hungry as a Sin will know not to take advantage of less-experienced people, and maybe even rub off on them a bit. This is better than you just playing all of them yourself because they would be played by different minds, creating variance in creative concepts.

Honestly, I think this could be a very good RPG if it effectively implemented the Chapter System originally started by James's [i]Kill Adam[/i] RPG. You have been here more than a year, I assume you know what that is about. I would strongly reccomend thinking about that and how it could all work together.[/size]

[Delta]

[COLOR=DarkRed][SIZE=1]
How about "Devil's Trill"? Legend has it that the Devil himself made a contract with the composer in a dream while playing a similar-sounding piece. Another version said that he sold his soul to the Devil and wrote this song in honor of his patron. Until now, it is one of the most difficult sonatas to play in the violin.

Very nice introduction! Graphic yet tasteful. Hope you don't abandon this project; am looking forward to this RPG.

Love and Peace!
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[Annie]

[color=indigo][size=1]Wonderful, my dear. Absolutely wonderful. You know my thoughts about this RPG idea, and you know that you have me as either a sign-up for a Chapel member..or a Sin. Now this depends on your decision to adopt PiroMunkie's suggestion. I, personally, agree with him one-hundred percent.

If you do decide to carry out this idea, and take up Piro's advice, you know what my decision is on my character for this RPG.

Now, as for a title. [b]Seven[/b] is a movie, so that's out. I like DW's idea, to be honest. You know I'm horrible at suggesting titles ^_^; [/color][/size]

[Revelation]

[size=1][color=#696969]See, everyone's seen [B]Seven[/B] except me. And all have been telling me that it was a good movie. I must rent and watch! But, that's irrelevant as to this thread.

Such a beautiful RPG. I love it to death and it loves me! Hmm, I may just as well take it from you and make it my own, moahahahahaah! *ahem* I must behave myself when in the presence of others. *Or else, my brother will have my head. Stupid Metatron always picking on me.* However, I would love to be a Sin or a Chapel. But, then again, it would be wondrous to be able to play as a Chapel.

Oh, how joyous! It is most wonderful, dear brother. And no, I am fine. It's the rest of the world that's messed up. ^_^[/size][/color]

[Cambrian_Explosion]

Interesting introduction. You've evidently put a lot of thought into this RPG already. I gather this will be rated M, based on the graphic awakening and aftermath ("bones scattered unceremoniously about the dank alley with three bloodied skulls to match." Not sure why I liked that particular quote, but it appealed to me).

Titles? I did some thinking, and came up with a few (not sure if any are already taken). "Carnal Sins" (is it "carnal" or "cardinal", can't remember offhand), "Seven Deadly Sins", "The War of Sin", "Embodiment of Sin", and "Atheism's Fall".

If this gets to Adventure Inn, I might sign up for the Chapel, if I'm not too busy. I agree with PiroMunkie, either you need to control the Sins yourself, or find a reliable staff to play them. I can just imagine what kind of havoc someone (like me) could wreak on this RPG playing a Sin.

Cheers, and good luck!