Writing The Goddess [PG-13]

[KarmaOfChaos]

[color=deeppink][size=1]First shot at metaphorical/symbolic storytelling through poetry.

[b]The Goddess[/b]

And it was better to remain the beautiful tragedy
Like a translucent goddess defiant of gravity
She is lost in the subconscious of broken intent
Deep within the house of mirrors and malcontent.

She shimmers, imbrued with hope and fear
Breathing another brand of confusion into the atmosphere
Creating a silken-coloured string of systems
Turning and twisting with ethereal gears and pistons

A world all her own bleeding simmering feeling
Her luscious lips kiss in a willful sealing
Planets collide and stars divide at her fingtertips
Each touch an artful stroke of crypts.

In this crazed and maddened passion
She alighted upon a dark fool chastened
To a markered, ancient door
Ceded; as his blood seeped to the floor.

And with a curious stare and questioning gaze
She tilted her eyes to his scar-red face,
And she whispered right to his ear
"My love, what are you doing here?"

But before the answer could be spilled from his lungs
A stark and seething figure cut the cord and hung
The fool from his darkened door
And proclaimed, "Goddess do not linger more!"

The ever-patterned figure stood
Melding melted metal and wood
With hearts and souls in chambered sanctums
And to her he seemed a walking aslyum.

Fate trickled his frozen hands against her warmer flesh
And she glared, her expression defiance and raged meshed
Ripping the figurine from his arrogant invasion
Her nails leaving pattern torn and full of tiny abrasions.

Then a little girl so sanctimoniously appeared
Laden with obnoxiously humble, forgiving tears
And a simple acceptance of knowing more than the rest
With letter'd Destiny scrawled silver upon her breast.

And lifting this angel from Heaven's high stance
She threw her unceremoniously into the glass
Walls of reflection and stranger coincidence
Shattering the image of perfected innocence.

The goddess, grinding her porcelain heel
Into their ephemeral mass now unconcealed
Was suddenly brought down by the still shifting patterns
Of Fate's guided mistake in to the glass and battered.

Now the three transcendant beings
Collapsed--killed by the broken breathing
Her fall into the bleeding pit which breeded
Death and masochistic thought unheeded.

And with the picture painted; all said and done
They lay entwined, the picture unsure of who had won.


- - - - -

Thoughts and opinions welcome, as always.

-Karma[/size][/color]

[Mimmsicle]

[FONT=Verdana][SIZE=1][COLOR=Sienna]It's amazing how well you utilize the many different ways of writing and effectively hit the nail on the head each and every time *applauds*

I struggle to properly critique this piece, since it's so breahttakingly perfect. This is something I imagine as being told by a man with a lute/lyre, to a crowd of medieval dressed people, hanging on every word he says.

Beautiful ^_^ [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]