Writing n00b Hunter [M -- VL]

[DeadSeraphim]

[COLOR=Indigo]
[SIZE=1][FONT=Arial]Welcome all to n00b Hunter, a little saga... thing, that I've been writing for a while. For a while it's been pretty much contained within my blog, but Shinmaru and Alex pushed, prodded and beat me with sticks until I agreed to start posting them on OB.

There is already a fair amount of these, so events in them may seem a tad out-dated... but oh well, lol. Originally it started with the [i]Sonic Blaster Saga[/i] and that's how I'll be doing it here, too. ;)

Enjoy.

[Note: If you try to find the archive site I set up for them you'll be greeted with a password prompt until I've reached the point it's up to in the thread. Sorry. =P][/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]

---

Sonic Blaster Saga: Part 1

Alan crept cautiously into the vile den of n00biness, a machete in one hand, a locked and loaded shotgun in the other. He was searching for one thing, and one thing only: Sonic Blaster, King of the n00bs. And he'd be damned if he wasn't gonna find him.

He'd been hired by the myO King Pin Shinmaru, and paid in a fist full of visits the likes of which he had never seen before. Except here.

Here visits were piled high, constantly streaming in from across the internet from vile Auto Hit sites, making the fiend Sonic Blaster grow by the minute. Just a few doors down a similar scene was being played out, but Alan had come for Sonic Blaster, and it was Sonic Blaster that he would have. Someone else could take care of the other.

Then... a flash. A streak of green grey went past his face and slammed the door in which he had entered. The being stood at the door, refusing to move, its eyes crackling with the power only illegitmate visits could grant.

'H4v3 j00 com3 4 m3?' it asked. Obviously it was Sonic Blaster. Alan lifted his shotgun.

'Yes I have...' he winked. '8147C|-|.' The shell flew from the barrel, but Sonic Blaster was gone already, zooming around the room to absorb the excess visits. In mere moments he had gone from a small fry to a being with enough power to destroy myO with a wink.

'H4H4H4!!!!1!!1!1!' it roared. 'j00 W1LL N3Ve4 D3F347 m3!'

'Won't I?' Alan asked, a snide grin on his face. He discarded the shotgun and passed the machete to his other hand. 'Let's see you defeat my... OFFSITE BLOG ATTACK!' The machete flew from his hands and lodged deep in Sonic Blaster's skull.

'N00000! 7aht'5 impo55i8l3!' The being exploded with a bang that rocked all myO, and then the room began to crumble. Alan dove for the door, but found it was jammed.

'Mother fucker!' he cursed. He picked up the shotgun and blew a hole in the door, diving through mere moments before the whole room imploded.

Alan wiped his brow.

'I need an RP to rip apart' he said, before walking off in the direction of OtakuBoards.

---

[COLOR=Indigo][SIZE=1][FONT=Arial]They get better as they go along, I swear![/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]

[MissWem]

[COLOR=DarkRed]^__^ very likeable. I remember hearing about that guy on My O, there were some pretty annoyed people to do with that. Is this going to feature well know My O members?

Anyway, if you're sure they get better then I think I'll check back regularly. So far, so amusing.[/COLOR]

[Retribution]

Pretty funny stuff. I think you could've showed the guys n00bne55, describing him in greater detail. There's no real character development or anything, but maybe this is one of those chill-out, have fun stories.

[DeadSeraphim]

[quote name='Altron']Pretty funny stuff. I think you could've showed the guys n00bne55, describing him in greater detail. There's no real character development or anything, but maybe this is one of those chill-out, have fun stories.[/quote]
[COLOR=Indigo][SIZE=1][FONT=Arial]Have patience, padwan. ^_~

It''s only the start, heh. This particular story has three parts and a sequal saga later on, so don't you be worrying about character developement.[/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]

[Baron Samedi]

[size=1]I'll even write up a nice little piece for the blurb if it is ever published in hardcover format.

"The N00b Hunter series sweeps the length and breadth of the Otaku Universe, containing a veritable plethora of gritty characters, and covering topics ranging from the depths of life, to the atrocities of a hell infested with n00bs. Prepare to be amazed, for N00b Hunter is like nothing you'll ever read again. Impossible to put down. A thrilling read."[/size]

[Lunai]

[font=georgia][color=blue][i]This is fun. I'll stick around & see how it turns out.[/font][/color][/i]

[DeadSeraphim]

[COLOR=Indigo][SIZE=1][FONT=Arial]The mood of these things is incredibly bi-polar, and this one is a prime example of that. It's extremely violent, heh, so you've been warned...[/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]

---

Sonic Blaster Saga: Part 2

Alan entered the building. He was holding a shotgun, letting it lead him like a firebrand, scaring customer and security guard alike. As he came to the center of the room, he stopped, and breathed deep.

'Where the fuck is he?' Alan asks suddenly, his finger twitching as it curled around the trigger.

'Where is who, sir?' queried an especially brave male cashier.

'I am looking for the one known as Sonic Blaster,' Alan said slowly, not even acknowledging the cashier with eye contact.

'Surely you know he is dead, sir,' said the same cashier. Alan whipped his arm around, pointing the barrel at the man, but still not looking at him.

'If my mother-fucking question isn't answered soon, this pansy is gonna bleed.' Noone spoke, but far above them a nervous businessman watched from a hidden balcony, a thin sheen of sweat developing on his forehead.

'But sir...' Alan pulled the trigger. The cashier's head splattered against the wall, then dissolved into a mass of 1s and 0s. The businessman snapped. He couldn't allow this to happen any longer. It would completely ruin his cover.

'Come with me!' the businessman cried. Alan looked up. Yes, that was him. That was Sonic Blaster. Crippled. Weakened. Powerless.

Alan leapt up to the balcony, and then followed him into a small room decorated in polished oak and stuffed leather. It was completely undistinguishable from the now locked and barred myOtaku the fiend once inhabited, but Alan could still sense the evil. It smothered the room. Blaster's voice snapped him from his reverie.

'Why must you kill me?' it asked, settling into the chair behind the large, mahogany desk and motioning to Alan to sit in the seat across from him. Alan sat, but didn't speak, staring at the man a few moments.

'Well?' Blaster demanded. 'WHY MUST YOU KILL ME? I'VE ABANDONED YOUR PRECIOUS MYO!' Alan chuckled. How shallow this fiend must think he is.

'I must kill you,' he said slowly. 'Because I never finished the job. You were weakened.' Alan's eyes narrowed. 'Not defeated.' Sonic blaster laughed a laugh befitting of his appearance, jolly and deep.

'But surely you know I am harmless now?' he said, wiping a 'jolly' tear from his eyes. Alan spat.

'Not likely. I can sense the visits in this room. I've only ever sensed this much at Maddox.' Sonic Blaster's eyes narrowed. He was found out. The crackling of visits suddenly filled the room, and the eCommerce site Blaster was hiding in started tearing at the seams, slowly ripping apart as he revealed his power.

'H0w did y-y-J00 find m3?' Sonic Blaster asked as his composure crumbled. He was slipping into L337, and his 'skin' was slowly peeling away to reveal the grey green horror beneath.

'It wasn't difficult.' Alan said impassively, slowly raising from the chair and lifting the shotgun.

'But... 8U7 I aV0iD3d ev3ry well kn0w|\| Pl4c3!' Sonic Blaster howled. 'How?//??????//?/' The eCommerce site started rupturing around the pair, as Sonic Blaster's small mind was stressed to the point of bleeding by Alan's cold logic.

'By following the trail of destruction you left.' He paused. 'L4M3R.'

Then the eCommerce site exploded, and Alan blacked out, his finger tensing around the trigger as he slipped into darkness. A howl escaped Sonic Blaster as Alan slipped fully into unconsciousness.

When he awakened he was floating in Empty Space. The eCommerce site was ruined, and the bodies of its customers littered the area. But Sonic Blaster lived on. He took a cigarette out of his pocket and lit it, surveying the area for a clue, any clue, as to where Sonic Blaster could've gone. And he found one. A long, dripping trail of blood. Going right in the direction of Go-Gaia.

'Figures,' Alan thought, taking a long draw from the cigarette. 'Fucking n00bs.'

[MissWem]

[QUOTE=Alan]
'But sir...' Alan pulled the trigger. The cashier's head splattered against the wall, then dissolved into a mass of 1s and 0s.
[/QUOTE]
[COLOR=DarkRed]ARgh!! The humanity!! My eyes are burning asunder with violence!! Although I feel I must question you one thing. There are cashier's in the otakuboards? Now I'm starting to get hooked on the story though ^_^[/COLOR]
[QUOTE]
'Figures,' Alan thought, taking a long draw from the cigarette. 'Fucking n00bs.' [/QUOTE]
[COLOR=DarkRed]Smoking is bad for your health.[/COLOR]

[Hevn]

Oh, I see your awesome logo in that pic up there ^_^

I think I've commented on each and every n00b Hunter story you've done. Ah, well. It's fun reading them over and over again because they all rock.

[QUOTE=Alan]
'But sir...' Alan pulled the trigger. The cashier's head splattered against the wall, then dissolved into a mass of 1s and 0s.[/QUOTE]
I'll say it again. That is the coolest move you've ever done in n00b Hunter. ^_~

[Ezekiel]

[COLOR=Green][SIZE=1]Hevn just told me about these stories as we were chatting and I had to come and read them. They are great! Really, I enjoyed those two stories so much. I do love the usual stories that revolve around the OB, but most of them are comedies...it's nice to have a little bit of violence every now and then ^^;[/SIZE][/COLOR]

[Solo Tremaine]

[COLOR=#503F86]I loved this when I first read it and I still love it now, heh ^_~ It's great to re-read over again. I agree with methuselah- the style is quite unique from most of the other OB fanfics that have arisen over the years, and it's presented in a really enjoyable way.

Make sure you get them down quickly, heh (allowing enough time for those who's not seen them to read through it all, mind) ^_^ I want to read them.[/COLOR]

[Gavin]

[SIZE=1]Interesting, most interesting.

A fascinating read Alan, I can see now where your title of n00b hunter comes from. The stories themselves are well written, well paced and have a good sense of fluidity about them. I have to admit I'm looking forward to reading the next installment of the series when you get around to posting it. [/SIZE]

[Shinmaru]

You know I'm a big fan of these, and not just because I'm in them so much :rolleyes:

These are well written, though. Everyone who doesn't visit Alan's blog to keep up with these should know that they get [i]much[/i] better and more involved as they go along. I'm pretty certain that Alan first intended this to be a one-shot thing, and then they just grew into something massive. lol

[DeadSeraphim]

[quote name='Shinmaru']I'm pretty certain that Alan first intended this to be a one-shot thing, and then they just grew into something massive. lol[/quote]
[COLOR=Indigo][SIZE=1][FONT=Arial]You hit the nail on the head, haha. There's actually another story between that last one and the next, but it interupts the flow of this little saga thing a bit.

Also of note is this is around the time I started introducing [strike]other[/strike] more people into it... Enjoy.[/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]

---

Sonic Blaster Saga: Part 3
Sonic Blaster chuckled to himself as he pushed open the door to poor, smashed remains of his myO. Yes, had done well. Going off in the direction of Gaia, then doubling back silently had been a work of genius. Or so he thought.

'Thought you lost me, didn't you Blaster?' Alan said, standing in amongst the visits that had flooded the myO since the pair had last fought, much to Blaster's amazement. The n00b's eyes bulged.

'I don't understand,' he said slowly, restraining himself so as to not slip into L337. 'How?' Alan scratched the back of his dark, grimy jeans with his shotgun and gestured with his free hand to the visits around him, that were even now reclaiming piles in rival to their former glory

'You didn't turn it off Blaster,' he said simply, picking up a wad of visits and letting it fall through his fingers. 'You just kept it going. It wasn't easy to tell you'd be coming back.' Sonic Blaster grimaced. He'd underestimated this Hunter. And it would be his downfall. He shifted uneasily on the spot, rooted in the doorway.

'Well... what now?' he asked, dreading the conclusion. This man had traced him from one end of the internet to the other, and destroyed his physical body twice. For a n00b, third time is not lucky.

Alan gestured his shotgun at him, and opened his mouth as if to speak, but the words died on his tongue for a moment. He paced like this for a moment, the shotgun pointed loosely in Blaster's direction, his mouth half open. Finally, he said.

'I'm sure you know I'm just a mercenary, Blaster. I don't get a steady income tracking down scumbags like you.' He paused and stopped his pacing. 'But in my time, I've met a lot of people who do this shit full time, with a no strings attached wage. And I know one in particular, who has not only the power, but also the desire to wipe you from this website.' Sonic Blaster heard footsteps slowly coming down the hall, and slowly turned around.

'Sonic Blaster, please make the acquaintance of James.' A man stood in the doorway, a katana held in one hand, a mod rod in the other. He was dressed in black leather, and his hair was spiked. James merely winked and pushed Blaster fully into the room with the end of the modrod.

'How's it goin?' Sonic Blaster didn't say anything. Here, standing before him, was James, supreme overlord of both myOtaku and OtakuBoards, who also had power bases scattered in hundreds of places across the internet. How the Hunter had met this man, was unknown. But Blaster knew it certified his downfall.

Alan walked past the n00b and left the room. James stepped into the room, and closed the door behind him, not allowing Alan to see the ancient ritual of the IP Ban. With a sly smirk Alan leaned on the wall to the side of the door, as a low whistling, then howling came to him through the thin walls. A horrifying shriek of pain followed, then James was tearing the door of its hinges, , grabbing Alan by the wrist as he ran away from the purged myO. When they were a respectable distance away he stopped and turned back, looking at the room.

'This is always the messy part,' he said softly, and then a wall of fire shot from the open doorway as comments, guestbook signings and visits were purged from the room to make it clean again. The whole site rocked as it was all slowly incinerated, then everything was quiet. Not a single sound penetrated that silence. Finally James coughed.

'You owe me half the visits Shinmaru gave you, that was the deal right?' Alan grinned lop-sidedly.

'Umm... sure.'

[Ezekiel]

[COLOR=Green][SIZE=1]Another brilliant chapter. I love the way you reffered to the IP ban as an ancient ritual, very clever ^_^ I'm going to miss poor ol' Sonic Blaster, but still, with one evil n00b down, that can only leave room for better ones, if any n00b can be described as better O_o; eh...[/SIZE][/COLOR]

[MissWem]

[QUOTE]He was dressed in black leather, and his hair was spiked. James merely winked and pushed Blaster fully into the room with the end of the modrod.

'How's it goin?' [/QUOTE]
[COLOR=DarkRed]Ah, the joys of being a school girl.

Your stories are really getting intense in that magnetically good way. I think it's great how you can turn web/otaku jargon and relate it into real-life. I think that vaguely made perfect sense ^^"[/COLOR]

[DeadSeraphim]

---

The Birth of AjehMan

Abdul Jalal. A name noone would associate with a hero. But, on the neo-punk world of the Internet, he is, with powers to rival those of Alan the n00b Hunter and the almighty James. This is his story.

-------

Abdul was bored. He had been surfing the internet for hours, finding nothing, and frequently ignoring the two, half-completed sites that followed him around like a ball and chain. He had spent a while hanging out with the n00b Hunter, but the man intimidated him. He'd also tried to find the email of a popular Indian actress, but to no avail. Unfortunately, the internet had lost it's touch. It was at this moment that his life changed forever...

During his ceaseless travels, Abdul had inadvertedly come to the US Military's nuclear testing website. The whole thing was wasted, with large scorch marks on everything and small, hyper-mutated n00bs running around in huge packs. Amongst it all, could be seen larger n00bs, and a few corpses, presumably n00bs who got on the wrong side of training Hunters.

Abdul watched this small, exciting scene for a moment, then glanced at his watch and decided it was time to log off. He took one last glance at the waste-land of a site, then sighed. What a shit day it had been. Then, he noticed something.

A small, slow moving creature, presumabley escaped from the site, was slithering around his feet, leaving a sticky mucus all over his legs.

'Eyuck, gross,' Abdul said, attempting to step back, but finding that his legs had been tied together by the mucus. He landed on his back with a thump, narrowly missing the creature which, now, had become decidedly annoyed. Somehow it grinned. Somehow Abdul resisted the urge to pee himself. Then it lunged.

'AAAAH!' Abdul cried as the small, nuclear little creature injected him with radiation and powers. Then it all went black...

When Abdul awoke he was no longer Abdul. He had later found out that the creature had been an elusive and highly dangerous Ajeh, a creature reknowned for it's prowess in getting chicks. And now Abdul possessed its powers...

From that day on, Abdul was AjehMan, protecting hot girls on the internet wherever they may be, and forever hunting down the email of a certain Indian actress...

---

[FONT=Arial][SIZE=1][COLOR=Indigo]AjehMan can easily be associated with humour in n00b Hunter. ;)[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[MissWem]

"He had later found out that the creature had been an elusive and highly dangerous Ajeh, a creature reknowned for it's prowess in getting chicks. And now Abdul possessed its powers..."
[COLOR=DarkRed]That so made me laugh, a slug getting chicks? *snigger*[/COLOR]
"From that day on, Abdul was AjehMan, protecting hot girls on the internet wherever they may be, and forever hunting down the email of a certain Indian actress..."
[COLOR=DarkRed]And forever will I come back to your stories to tell you how clever and amusing I find them. Forever in the loosest term possible since you won't be writing these forever.. or will you?

^_^ I like being first to comment on these.[/COLOR]

[Gavin]

[SIZE=1]Two brilliant chapters since I last looked here, I really need to check back here more often to see more of these excellent n00b Hunter tales. I particularly enjoyed reading the demise of SonicBlaster, the detail in which you described his ending was nothing short of spectacular, heh the "Ancient ritual of the IP Ban" line was great. Getting to see how Ajeh got his powers was good too, as it's been ages since I've had the chance to RP with him[/SIZE]

[DeadSeraphim]

[COLOR=Indigo][SIZE=1][FONT=Arial]This is where I wanted a character who wasn't total odd-ball or based on an obscure comic book character you'd never pick. XP So... this is the result, lol.

Oh, and slugs get chicks all the time, Trust me. ;)[/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]

---

Play It Invasion

Desbreko looked out over Play It and smiled to himself. It was a civilised, intelligent place, made so by his continuing efforts to keep the n00bs out, and to tutor the ones in the way of posting that somehow did make it in.

This land, this place which he so lovingly protected, was a haven of the intelligent, a place free of the corruption of Otaku Lounge and Anime Lounge, a place in which mighty warriors such as James and the arch-angel Semjaza Azazel sought refuge from the rest of OtakuBoards. Indeed, it was a utopia.

Swinging his Master Sword in the air a few times, Desbreko stepped back from his ledge in the Moderator Controls and made his way down its mighty, gold-plated stairs, batting away a few loose pieces of spam that had littered down from a recent spam explosion in Anime Lounge. When he came to the large, iron plated door that would bring him amongst his peons, he stopped for a moment, putting the Master Sword back in its sheath, then stepped through.

What he was confronted with was truly awful. Somehow, in the last few moments, a spammer n00b had flown through, smashing down Desbreko's carefully constructed barricades and allowing in hordes and hordes of Final Fantasy and anime n00bs, who were even now destroying Play It.

'HOW?' he demanded of noone in particular. As expected there was no answer, but a flying past of drivel caught his attention s it drifted before his eyes. Yasim. He should've known. At once the Master Sword had found it's way to his right hand and the hookshot to his left. He would have to find Yasim again and destroy him.

The hordes swarmed around him, oblivious to his nigh-on-Godly presence, as he stalked the area, searching for the fiend Yasim. Desbreko had had experience with Yasim many moons ago, during a mighty n00b attack that took on the whole boards, and knew that Yasim was incredibly bitter at his banning, and had forever blamed Desbreko for it. Only now was the vile spammer getting his revenge...

'OOF!' Desbreko grunted as a small, ferocious n00b hit him in the stomach. He staggered for a moment, breathing deeply before stepping forward again, only to be knocked back again by yet another n00b. A loud peal of evil laughter swept over the area and Desbreko looked behind himself to see Yasim standing at the Moderator Controls, directing great streams of n00bs to completely encircle the Lore Master.

Scowling, Desbreko raised the hookshot and attempted to fire for the wall behind Yasim, but was knocked down again by another n00b.

'You will never defeat me! Muahaha!' Desbreko let a silent tear drop as he realised he may have finally, after so long, lost control of the land he cherished so dear. Then a loud bang rocked his senses, and he was covered in the blood of an unfortunate n00b that had been leaping for his head. Desbreko looked up to see Alan, the n00b Hunter standing over him, his shotgun smoking from the recent shot.

'Go,' he said simply. Desbreko nodded and leapt to his feet again, raising the hookshot. No n00bs disturbed him as he slowly sted up his targets, but the loud bangs did as Alan worked tirelessly to allow Desbreko a clean shot. Then a pull of the trigger and....

Desbreko flew through the air, and landed with a thump beside Yasim, immediately discarding the hookshot and swinging his sword at the spammer's legs. Yasim, always slow, quickly collapsed, his legs severed from the knees down. But he was still an arm's lengths away from the controls that could destroy the forum....

His hand slowly raised and began to lower, as if in slow motion on the single red button that would perform that horrible act.

'Nooooo!' Desbreko cried, as the button depressed. He closed his eyes, dreading the worst. But nothing ever happened.

Yasim didn't know the password required. There was no way he could destroy Play It. A slow, evil grin spread over Desbreko's face and he slowly walked over to Yasim's shocked and legless form...

'B4NN3ED!' rung out over the entirety of Play It, and a large yellow explosion emanataed from the Moderator Controls. When the smoke cleared Play It was itself once more, and Desbreko once again stood in the middle of his kingdom.

'All in a day's work, eh?' Alan said with a sly grin. Desbreko merely pulled his foot back and mouthed 'Nad kick'. 'Allrigh, allrigh, I'm leaving.'

[Brasil]

You know, it's really interesting to see the tonal differences between Solo's Enter the Net and your n00b Hunter series.

I actually kind of think of them as Star Wars versus Alien...Solo's story is the 'Star Wars' of OB, the cheery, goofy, light-hearted, family-oriented tale, while yours is the 'Alien' of OB, the dark, brooding,violent, vampiric, gritty tale that shows the bad and seedy side of OB. ^_^

[MissWem]

[COLOR=DarkRed]Heroics at its finest.

I find it rather interesting how you (Alan) don't always play a very main, or perhaps prominent role in the stories. Rather it follows you around.[/COLOR]

[DeadSeraphim]

[QUOTE=DerelictDestiny][COLOR=DarkRed]Heroics at its finest.

I find it rather interesting how you (Alan) don't always play a very main, or perhaps prominent role in the stories. Rather it follows you around.[/COLOR][/QUOTE]
[COLOR=Indigo][SIZE=1][FONT=Arial]That's because it's more of a universe, not just the adventurers of one character, heh. Plus I feel damn embarassed every time I write one where Alan is featured heavily. >>

The next one only has passing mention of my character, and is more in a comedy vain (containing the uncontainable AjehMan can do that to a story). It takes low blows at both Ajeh and James... lol[/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]

---

AjehMan: Crime and Punishment
AjehMan sat in his myOtaku on a huge, Indian actress-shaped blow up chair, scanning through the list of people on his myO list for people who had updated. It was quite near to the start of the day (internet time), so not many had yet, but there was still a few.

Alan had updated his myOtaku with yet another portal to another site (something which truely scared AjehMan, despite his superpowers), Mimmi's myO shined cutesy and happiness like an infernal lighthouse and Heaven's Cloud's was pulsating with ill-concealed sarcasm and satire. That only left one person: The omnipresent James.

AjehMan wasn't exactly... on good terms with James. After a slight run in involving firecrackers, an OBv7 layout and huge explosions, James had been a bit shitty with the spry young superhero. Ajeh had to be wary around he man, now, and always tried to read his posts and myO whenever he wasn't around. He hoped that would be one of those times...

Rearranging everything, Ajeh left, and, due to the magic of the internet, arrived at James's myO in seconds. He gulped, and crossed his fingers, hoping that he wasn't there, then opened the door and stepped into the room...

'GODDAMIT,' he cursed, as his eyes took in the site of James, who was hastily editting his latest post because of a not-unoticed sly remark in cloricus's direction. James looked up and saw the mutant, and his eyes narrowed.

'You,' he said angrily, getting to his feet and striding in quick steps over to where AjehMan stood, frozen to the spot. James gripped the man by the neck, looked over his shoulder to make sure noone was watching, then pulled him in proper and slammed the door.

For the next few hours, only the horrible groans of an injured superhero could be heard. Eventually he emerged, his eyes deep in their sockets and cradling his elbows. This didn't go unnoticed by Shinmaru as he strode past.

'Ajehman! What the fuck happened to you?' AjehMan looked at the Kingpin, decked out in a pimp suit Jesus would be envious of.

'He... he... he LECTURED ME ON MATRIX LORE.' Shinmaru gasped and stepped back.

'My... God... why?'

'Punishment for destroying the Paper Mario OB layout,' AjehMan said in a tortured voice. Shinmaru scowled.

'You what?'

[MissWem]

[COLOR=DarkRed]Meh, you shouldn't be so shy about featuring yourself a bit more, but I guess not all people are writers like Dragon Warrior x^D

Actually, for a moment there I seriously thought you'd write in that James beat Ajeh to a bloodied pulp. The final exchange between AjehMan and Shinmaru was really quite hillarious.

I wish someone else would beat me to commenting first, I'm starting to feel silly : P[/COLOR]

[DeadSeraphim]

[COLOR=Indigo][SIZE=1][FONT=Arial]0wn3d.[/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]

---

Rampage of the Siren
The sound of Sciros and Sirens' battle echoed out over the entirety of OtakuBoards as the two fierce warriors once again tore apart a thread with their rivalry. This time it was Politics, before it had been Religion. Who knew what had started the rivalry? Who knew when it would end?

Sciros let out a particularly meaty grunt as Siren's quote tags smashed him once more in the stomach, reeling on his feet for a moment and looking dazed.

'So do you give up Sciros?' Siren asked haughtily. 'Do you admit I'm right?' Sciros wavered for a moment, his legs like jelly and his resolve weakening. With a feat of strength he gathered up his power and presented a strong face to his opponent.

'I won't admit you're right. My opinion is mine, and can't be changed.' The warrior looked down, almost sadly. 'However, I lack both the will and and the strength to continue this any longer. I take my leave of you, Siren." The man turned his back and withdrew from the thread.

Siren didn't like this. This shitted him off, greatly, actually. As Sciros withdrew he quickly scanned the Who's Online list for Zeta, but found nothing. With a playful smile Siren took off his Greek fisherman's cap and shirt and started forming a rebuttal. Whether or not Sciros wanted to debate, wasn't his problem. He needed entertainment, and he would have it at ANY cost.

'Sciros!' he roared. 'COME BACK HERE!' Sciros looked over his shoulder just as a large mass of quote tags and vitriol smashed into him, sending him flying back to land smash into a locked thread. He rubbed his head a bit, then attempted to rise to his feet, but yet another mass of quote tags smashed him down again.

'What the fuck do you want?' Sciros demanded, his body slightly smoking and blood trickling from his lip.

'I want to have some fun.'

'Well get it somewhere else!' Siren's eyes flared with evil anger.

'There is noone else. Fool.' Yet another blast of quote tags smashed into Sciros and the warrior howled in pain. Looking through slits of eyes, he saw yet another wad coming his way, and rolled out of the way just in time, feeling the heat of the explosion on his back.

'I CAN'T DO THIS! LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!' he screamed, getting to shakey feet.

'I won't until you've admitted I'm right. And I have to be. Admit it.' Siren sent a mass of quote tags once more and Sciros went flying back. 'ADMIT IT! I have the credentials, the education, THE RESEARCH to prove you wrong!'

At that moment Panda appeared toting a mod rod.

'Leave him alone Siren, this is over,' she warned. The modrod cackled with dangerous energy, but Siren was too caught up in the moment, too happy to be embracing his evil, rarely witnessed persona.

'No!' he roared, knocking the modrod out of Panda's hands. Panda's eyes opened wide in shock, not knowing what to do in such a situation. Siren noticed this, and pushed her down, sending another mass of quote tags and Sciros who was nearly at the entrance to Play It, where Siren's behaviour WOULD NOT be tolerated.

'No you don't,' he said softly, as the quote tags connected and rocked Otaku Longue with the force of the explosion. When the smoke cleared Sciros did not move, he just lay there, unconsious. 'Muaha.'

'Stop it Siren,' a voice said suddenly. Siren turned around to see James, the Omnipresent, standing behind him, his katana glinting evilly. 'You've nearly broken him. He's had enough.'

'He deserved it,' Siren said. 'And he deserves this!' A mass of quote tags once again flew from Siren's hand, and had it not been for James timely intervention, Sciros would've died. For at that moment, James did what he did not want to have to do.

'T3mp B4n!' he roared, striking Siren with his modrod. Siren looked at him, his eyes wide. The full weight of the situation suddenly bore down on him, and he looked down to see his legs slowly disappearing as balls of bright energy.

'Why??' James's face was grim.

'You forced me to, friend. We've seen what happens when you go out of control.' almost all of Siren's legs had disappeared. 'People get hurt, and broken. They never return.' Siren's abdomen was almost gone now. 'And I can't have that. When... when you've cooled off IM me.'

The fisherman's hat disappeared, and so did the quote tags, mere moments before they made their deadly impact. James just stood in the scorched Otaku Lounge for a moment, before locking the thread it had all started in and helping Panda to her feet. Sometimes, his job sucked.