Writing n00b Hunter [M -- VL]

[Brasil]

I recall the first version of this Chapter, and reading the revised edit of it makes me all the more appreciative of your appointing me Beta Reader, hehe. It works really well, and the dialogue is improved ten-fold from the original draft. I think what makes this chapter (and the rest of n00b Hunter) work is the strong characterizations, and the solid dialogue helps build that.

Plus, you just can't go wrong in terms of building atmosphere and character through the campy, pulpy, B-movie style narration. XD

[Gavin]

[SIZE=1]I have to admit that that chapter was intriguing, I can't wait to see how Juu progresses with her n00b Hunter training, and what insights into Alan's might we might uncover. Reading the n00b Hunter series has become somewhat of a treat anytime I visit the Anthology and there's a new chapter posted. [/SIZE]

[DeadSeraphim]

[COLOR=Indigo][SIZE=1][FONT=Arial]I'm lazy. This is the last one I wrote before my muse went on semi-permanent vacation. It comes in two parts, heh, so enjoy this first part of the last chapter to this point.[/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]

---

Buddy Movie (Part 1)
AjehMan stood outside of Shinmaru's myO, whistling softly to himself. He had been called by the Kingpin a few days ago, but only just got around to checking his Private Messages, so he was hoping the offer of a job wasn't already taken by someone more willing to eviscerate n00b scum, like Alan or his new apprentice Juuthena. Knowing his luck, it already was, and yet again he'd have to root through James's garbage for food.

Finally Shinmaru opened the door, and AjehMan was relieved to see not only was he smiling, but he was holding a big wad of visits. Yes! The job hadn't been stolen from under his lethargic nose!

'Come in, come in,' the Kingpin said, gesturing as AjehMan almost pissed himself with relief at having an INCOME. When the spry young superhero made no discernable attempt to move, Shinmaru grabbed him by the cuff of his army fatigues and dragged him inside, finally depositing him on a large, Progressive Boink shaped chair.

Sitting down on a likeness of his own face across from him, Shinmaru looked at his chosen mercenary and tossed a wad of visits onto his lap.

'There's the down payment,' he said. 'You finish the job correctly... and you get the rest.' AjehMan practically drooled over the visits in his lap. Damn, he was a RICH MOTHERFUCKER today. He would've eaten the bills right there to protect them in his stomach, if it wasn't Ramadan. With it he could buy... Emails! HER email, with this cash. His mind weighed all the possibilities with fervor. Finally, he tore his gaze away from his new babies, pocketing them, and asked the question that had been on his mind all day.

'What am I doing exactly?' Shinmaru grinned and reached under the cushions on his face, and pulled out the single biggest gun AjehMan had ever laid his eyes on. It was absolutely huge, over two feet long, and on its barrel read one word 'Examinator'.

'You're gonna fire this beast for me!' Shinmaru said. AjehMan raised an eyebrow. His mouth rolled around about three smart-ass comments, trying to select the right one to appropriately 0wnz3d Shinmaru, till his brain cut in and said that'd probably lose him the job. Finally, he formed a response.

'Sure!' Shinmaru smiled widely. A winner is you! his subconscious told him. He tossed the gun to AjehMan and stood up, stretching a bit and scratching his back.

'Off to Go-Gaia then!'

'Ye-what?!?!?!' AjehMan was shocked and scared. Go-Gaia was damn dangerous, especially for a n00b Hunter. Because, you know, all the n00bs.

'We're going to Go-Gaia.' Shinmaru raised an eyebrow. 'Unless you want me to take the visits off of your hands...' AjehMan shook his head vigorously.

'No, lead on.' His stomach, and brain, and possibly his pinky toes, were telling him this was a bad idea. The visits, however, thought otherwise, and was telling AjehMan that following Shinmaru to one of the single largest n00b infestations on the planet was not only a good idea, but in his best interests.

Obviously, at that moment in time, the visits were doing the thinking for him.

---

Go-Gaia was a huge place, with almost no room for the normal, sane members that inhabited the internet. It was a sprawling city, constructed with spam and inhabited by anime n00bs and Trollz alike. A few, powerful mods kept the rabble from spilling out into the internet, but otherwise it was chaos.

As the pair stood outside this sprawling place, AjehMan with the Examinator resting on his shoulder and Shinmaru wishing his pet monkey OtakuSennen was there, it suddenly struck AjehMan that he had no idea why he was here.

'What exactly are we doing here?' he asked.

'Saving Hevn,' Shinmaru said plainly. AjehMan stopped.

'As in, Alan's missing sidekick Hevn?' Shinmaru nodded.

'The very same.'

'Why hasn't he come to get her?' he demanded, almost knocking the trigger on his gargantuan gun. Shinmaru stopped dreaming about spanking the monkey and turned to AjehMan. He stared deep into the youths eyes, hoping to find some kind of intellect, but came up short. He sighed.

'This is ALAN, we're talking about, don't you think he would've got her already if he could? He asked me to help because he was in a massive bind...' AjehMan was silent for a moment.

'Good point.' There was an awkward silence for a moment till AjehMan started to walk towards the gargantuan fortress of n00biness. Without a word (and knowing plainly that AjehMan had no idea where he was going) Shinmaru followed.

They only stopped when AjehMan reached the Town Square, and realized, in a quick, painful fashion, that they were lost.

'Fuck,' he cursed.

'Fuck?'

'Yeah fuck.'

'Why fuck?'

'I dunno where we're going.'

'To the forums, of course.' The manner in which Shinmaru said this was so infuriating that AjehMan felt like slapping him down. Of course, he didn't. It was a LOT of visits on the line, after all.

'Well, umm... lead the way?' Shinmaru grinned lop-sidedly. Then, without a word, walked off in the direction of the forums. AjehMan hastily followed, but due to a general aura of clumsiness, accidentally set off the Examinator. And suddenly knew why Shinmaru wanted him to fire it.

The Examinator drove a bullet a foot long and six inches thick into the skull of a lurking Troll, sending Ajeh reeling with the force. Mere moments after the bullet introduced itself to the Troll's brain it exploded, taking out about fifty n00bs around it in the blast.

'BE CAREFUL WITH THAT THING!' Shinmaru warned as he entered the forums. AjehMan gulped and quickly followed.

[Baron Samedi]

[size=1]:p I remember this Chapter. It's a good one IMO, but I can't wait for your muse to return... as for the writing in this one, I can't really fault it. Nice work ^_^[/size]

[MissWem]

[COLOR=DarkRed][SIZE=1]hahaha.. the part about it being Ramadan, and wanting to eat his bills was good. I feel silly for laughing, but then again the entire feel of your stories are a loose mix of superflously seriuos morbidness.

If you get what I mean. n_n[/SIZE][/COLOR]

[Hevn]

[COLOR=Purple][SIZE=1]Hmm... yes. I remember it was Ramadan when you wrote this...and I was actually not logging on AIM so you said I was missing, lol.

I love the [COLOR=Plum][B]Examinator[/B][/COLOR]. ^_^[/SIZE][/COLOR]

[DeadSeraphim]

[COLOR=Indigo][SIZE=1][FONT=Arial][QUOTE=Hevn][COLOR=Purple][SIZE=1]Hmm... yes. I remember it was Ramadan when you wrote this...and I was actually not logging on AIM so you said I was missing, lol.

I love the [COLOR=Plum][B]Examinator[/B][/COLOR]. ^_^[/SIZE][/COLOR][/QUOTE]
That wasn't an easy time. I missed you a lot. _^_ So the logical response was to write an extra special n00b Hunter about it. =D

This is the last one I've written... There's another one being written... but it goes slowly, heh. Enjoy, I guess. ^_^;

[url]http://dead-seraphim.net/other/n00bhunter/[/url] for all stories and some extra gubins. Till I get the motivation to remove the prompt, the password is 'fuckme' *cough* Yeah.[/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]

---

Buddy Movie (Part 2)
The inside of the forums was just like a nightclub. Horrible, beepy game music wailed out from huge speakers, and hundreds of thousands of n00bs performed crotch thrusts and the robot in time with a non-existant rhythm. AjehMan was tempted to dance, but the idea of accidentally setting off the Examinator, not to mention having his pay CRUELLY STOLEN by Shinmaru, changed his mind about it pretty quick.

The pair weaved through the crowd, largely unnoticed by the n00bs. until they came to the centre of the forums, where, held in a large cage, was a woman. Attached to the veins on her wrist were two long tubes, each injecting thick green sludge into her body. A sign above the cage announced that this was Hevn, and she was being held captive as a sign of 'triumph' against the hunter Alan.

Shinmaru's fists were clenched hard at his side as he saw the horrible site, but AjehMan didn't notice. He just knew this was their quarry, and it was their job to get her out. He hefted the gun, and pointed it at the large Trollz that guarded the door to the cage.

Shinmaru noticed this, and motioned for him to continue. And he did.

---

The pair were running like their lives depended on it (and goddamn, it did!), being chased by the largest group of n00bs either had ever seen. Hevn, only semi-conscious, was slung over Shinmaru's shoulder, and was moaning softly as she struggled to awaken properly. This was happening incredibly quickly, much to Shinmaru's chagrin, though AjehMan didn't know why,

'FREEDOM!' Ajeh roared, as he burst out of the gates of Go-Gaia. Unfortunately, they sudenly found themselves face to face with not one, but FOUR jcgoudys. AjehMan lifted the Examinator and fired it at the closest, but upon penetrating the bullet disappeared.

'We're boned,' he said matter-o-factly. Shinmaru scowled. Indeed they were. And in a big way.

'We have one hope,' the Kingpin said softly. He shook Hevn softly until the poor, pale woman woke up. She groaned and grabbed her head.

'What time is it?' she asked groggily. Shinmaru smiled sweetly. Oh God, it was so cliched and adorable. Too bad their lives were resting on her BEING AWAKE.

'It's about 5 in the afternoon,' he said, plucking a time out of the air. 'But that doesn't matter. Do you remember where you've been for the last month?' His voiced was strained and he was urging her to answer quickly.

'I was... asleep.' Her voice certainly advertised so, and AjehMan would've been inclined to accept that if Shinmaru didn't seem so damn hurried.

'FUCK,' the kingpin roared. They were cornered at all sides, the jcgoudys were getting ever closer, and their one hope for survival was suffering from AMNESIA. Man, they were boned.

Finally, he thought to try his last, lowdown dirty trick. Standing the woman properly on her feet, he lent in and whispered in her ear,

'Alan's dead.' And damn did he regret it.

At once the woman's eyes transformed from their deep chestnut colour to golden and cat-like. Wings tore from her back and a halo manifested around her head. All marks of a half-n00b, and only ever obtainable by a botched sane-to-n00b conversion process. A conversion process AjehMan and Shinmaru had gate crashed.

Hevn turned around and surveyed the gathered jcgoudys who were now crouched to pounce. Her eyes openned wide slightly for a moment and each exploded, coating them all in blood, mucus, and, most-disgustingly, feces. Even in the circumstances, AjehMan, did NOT need to be covered in feces. I mean, seriously, that is GROSS.

At once, Hevn, exhausted, collapsed and reverted, having expended what little energy she had in destroying the mighty, earth shattering n00bs. AjehMan and Shinmaru didn't waste her sacrifice, and darted through the gap, with Shinmaru sweeping low to pick her up as they dashed away to freedom...

---

'She doesn't remember anything?' Alan asked, looking at Hevn's sleeping form. He was in Shinmaru's myO, watching the woman sleep peacefully.

'Nothing,' Shinmaru confirmed.

'Not even the fuxxored conversion?'

'Not even the escape.' Alan smiled, which seemed odd to AjehMan, standing in the corner, given the circumstances.

'Good.' He left the myO without a word.