Writing End of a story (m-v)

[Nothing]

this is the end of a story i've been writing. It's too long to post, so I'll just post the end. I want to see if it gets the right affect. Remember, I'm new, so don't be too harsh!!!

What you need to know first of all, is the good guys were seperated at the bottom of the mountain this takes place at, Damien(the main good guy) being last to make it up. At the top of the mountain is Sherum, the main bad guy, and Cat, the damsel in distress. Let's watch:

Cold.
Damien plodded up the mountain, determined to reach the top. To reach Cat. He had marched all the night before, but he didn't feel the weight on his legs. All that mattered was getting to the top. He was closer now, he could see the top over another hill, one more valley, and then a trail leading almost straight up. Damien strained to see the trail. Where he stood, at the top of the final hill, a dozen or more footprints all led forward, towards the top, but on the final trail, only one pair had made it; and they were red with blood.

Damien followed the footprints down the mountain, until at last he came to the valley in front of him. Suddenly, he knew why only one pair of prints remained.
It was a massacare.
Fearing the worst, Damien jogged down the hill and surveyed the ground. There were no minion prints about, but he recognized those of his friends. Maverick, Roddelin, and Arc had all come this way. There was another set of thin, graceful prints Damien had noticed before. While his friends were running with the greatest speed they could muster, the man who left these prints seemed to be walking calmly along. Sherum, he thought.

The snow in the valley was trampled and red, Damien could never guess what had happened there. Damein's eyes wandered onto Maverick's beaten figure, tossed to the side and devoid of life. "Maverick..." Beside him, was a familliar bow, and golden amulet. the snow indicated that somebody had tumbled off the cliff. "Roddelin!" Finally, on the other side of the narrow valley, Damien saw Arc's sword planted firmly in the ground. Arc's hand was clutched around it! Damien ran over, hoping beyond hope that his friend had somehow survived, and was now dangling for dear life. Damien came to his knees and stooped over the side of the cliff, but only watched with transfixed horror. It was Arc, but he was no longer alive. Damien never spoke of what he saw.

There was a gurgle and a sputter behind him. Damien turned to see Maverick coughing through bloody lips. "Damien..." He said with great pain, rolling an eye towards his friend. "It was...Sherub..."
"I know, try to lay still." Damien responded, trying to find a way to ease his pain. Maverick smiled at him. "You can't help me," he said, "I'm too far gone." Damien chocked, but he wouldn't cry in front of his friend. He did not want Maverick to loose hope, even if it was too late to save him. "Listen," he started again. "My brother...Roddelin. He was pushed...fell off the cliff. I want to die...with him..." Damien knew what he was asking. Maverick was too mutilated to to roll off the cliff. He wanted Damien to do it for him. "Goodby, my friend." Damien said sadly. He found a place on Maverick's side that hadn't been torn away, and pushed him gently. Maverick slid easily off the cliff, into the deep abyss. Damien then silently turned around, and did the same for Arc. Then he stood in the center of it all, came to his knees, and screemed.

The tragic scream echoed off the mountain walls. It found its way into the valleys, and disturbed a flock of birds. It reached the billy goats, and they looked on with sadness in their eyes. It reached down to the mountain city Derall, and the populice looked up the mountain. It reached Sherub, far away. "He's coming." Sherub said quietly.
~~~~

O.K, I lied. That's not the whole ending, but I'll post the rest of it with some feedback.