There is NO God [Covers]

[O-Ushi]

Picture the scene, I was happily flicking through radio stations in my room, innocent as a child on christmas day. As I slowly turn the knob I hear the heart-warming sounds of "- of Common People." followed by the familiar driving synthesisers of one of my all time favourite songs (that is, "[I]Common People[/I]" by Pulp), and an anthem of classic Britpop. I nod my head to the beat, expecting to hear Jarvis Cocker's cool, indifferent voice. Instead, I am greeted by no less than a living hell.

William Shatner.

In my mind, something snapped.

I am here to give my 2 cents on a subject that is generally tiptoed around. Covers. I urge, nay, [I]beg[/I] people, famous, infamous or nobodies, to consider whether a song is actually worth covering. Could you improve it, or are you just making a mockery of its memory. I present to you a list of modern songs that should never, EVER be covered on pain of being tied down and sternly asked why:

[I]Bohemian Rhapshody[/I] by Queen: possibly one of (if not [I]the[/I]) greates song of modern times. Incredible vocals, an eerie opening, driing middle and the one of the single greatest ai guitar moments in history (you know the one I'm talking about).

[I]Imagine[/I] by John Lennon: I have heard about a bajillion different covers of this song, and none of them hold so much as a candle to his memory. It's simple when they make it over complicated, plain where they make it dramatic. It's a poignant reminder of the things we take for granted, and noone really seems to pay attention to this.

[I]Stairway to Heaven[/I] by Led Zepplin: Simply [I]because[/I].

[I]Free Bird[/I] by Lynard Skynard: Probably the longest post-hendrix guitar solo of all time. "If I leave here tomorrow..."

[I]Smoke on the Water[/I] by Deep Purple: Yes, I know everybody does this riff when they first get an electric guitar, but it should go [I]no further[/I]. This is a legendary track, and should remain as that.

[I]Fool's Gold[/I] by The Stone Roses: Only a handful of good things came out of the 1980's, and this was one of them.

[I]Anarchy in the UK[/I] by the Sex Pistols: Simply because everyone is too apathetic to really care about things anymore, and untill they are, this song should stand as a symbol of the birth of punk rock.

Well, that's it fir now, I shall return with more moments of aural gold soon. But now, as I type this, my eardrums are once again assaulted by another travesty. Busted, a cliche, manufactured boyband here in England, is doing a cover of [I]Teenage Kicks[/I] by The Undertones. John Peel would be turning in his grave.

Excuse, I need to lie down and cry for a while...

[Manic Webb]

I don't think William Shatner is entirely serious whenever he remakes a song in spoken-word form. People seem to like his music out of sheer novelty, and that's why he keeps making it. It's also why he only uses good songs.

I have, however, dedicated my life to one day (somehow) b***h-slapping Raven-Symone for remaking "Superstition" by Stevie Wonder. I usually don't get that upset at bad remakes, but Raven crossed the line.

Other than that, I don't have too big of a problem with remakes. I listen to a lot of R&B, and the remakes in that realm usually don't come out too badly. Although that's probably because, half the time, R&B singers remake the songs they grew up with and learned to sing from. If I had a dime for everytime someone remade "She's Out of My Life," I'd have... well, Tom Bahler's money.