Writing A Potential Begining...?[PG]

[Godelsensei]

[COLOR=Gray][FONT=Courier New]This is the revised begining for the second, third, or possibly seventeenth attempt at a rewrite of a story idea of mine. I wont reveal the details of the plot, however, because I want to know what a reader would anticipate from this sort of opening.
Also, I was wondering if any one could contribute some criticism to do with use of adjectives or dialogue or whatever else.

[i]Domo.[/i][/FONT][/COLOR]

Standing on the back steps of an Italian restaurant, Izumi?s world was snow, broken beer bottles, and a dumpster. The way she was standing, slouched ever so slightly forward, compounded by the well-worn jacket that clung to her shoulders, gave the impression of a cigarette held between slender, chilled fingers. But Izumi didn?t smoke. The closest she ever came to smoking was watching her breath float away, carried by the wind, late at night, on the steps of an Italian restaurant. She did this now, in lieu of tobacco, watching the snow fall, silently, calmly, and feeling it as well. She felt every flake that landed in her hair or on her gloveless hands. Gloveless, in negative ten weather, yet strangely bereft of chill?indeed, no part of her shivered.
She was a ghost of pale skin and fair hair, grey eyes and chipped nail polish. An old jacket and scuffed dress shoes.
?Stand there any longer and you?ll be indistinguishable from a wall, or perhaps a stop sign.?
Her lips curved faintly and she looked back, over her shoulder. ?Why would there be a stop sign in an alleyway??
?To tell those kids who make habits of mugging each other that what they?re doing is wrong? I don?t know, Izumi.? He put a hand on her shoulder, standing a step higher than she was. ?You?ve been here late all week. Just go home early today, okay??
She shook her head, her expression static. ?No, no. I can?t do that. I need the hours, Liam.? He squeezed her shoulder, a sign of his concern.
?Go home. And take something to eat with you?you?re looking skinny these days, kiddo.? Nodding her consent, she turned and made her way up the stairs. When her foot was hovering just above the top step, her hand outstretched for the doorknob, he added a paternal, ?And get some gloves. Jesus,? before putting a cigarette to his lips. He waited for her to be inside before taking out his lighter.

[Bio]

[font=Trebuchet MS]That's really an excellent beginning to a story, and it gives a sturdy base to build on. As for grammatical mistakes and such, I found something that sounded a little akward, but I'm not exactly a class A writer myself so I can't be sure if it's for effect:

[quote][/font] Standing on the back steps of an Italian restaurant, Izumi?s world was snow, broken beer bottles, and a dumpster.[font=Trebuchet MS][/quote]
Here I would put [i]"Izumi's world was [/i][b]of [/b][i]snow, broken beer bottles, and a dumpster. " [/i]But once again, that could just be for effect, so do as you will.
[/font]

[Adahn]

[font=Courier New][size=2][color=blue]I already appreciate the character Izumi very much. She seems to be balanced delicately between weakness and strength. I see her as someone who likes to keep to herself, and wouldn't be surprised if she had some odd quirks as a result of this. The passage has a nice flow to it, and I hope anything that follows isn't pressured to be so nice. It's hard to write beautifully for long periods of time.[/color][/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][size=2][color=#0000ff][/color][/size][/font]
[font=Courier New][size=2][color=#0000ff]As for where the story is going, I see Izumi as having some exotic job. You can't be hardcore like that and not do something totally badass.[/color][/size][/font]