Incredibly Not Fun.

[Juke Box Hero]

I will not use real names, but I will use the real situation-

I have known "Jack" for about five years. I have known "Jill" for about 4 years. Jack and Jill have been seriously dating for 1.5 years, but Jack is going to college next year, and Jill is a sophmore. I am a sophmore and close friend of both Jack and Jill.

Although Jill and Jack are currently dating, and strongly so, Jill hits on me constantly.

Examples-

Calling me "honey"

Making me cookies for X-mas un-solicited

Hugs, pats on the back, and other contact at awkward times

etc.

Jill is an attractive girl and I have nothing against her, however Jack is among my 3 closest friends, and I cannot and will not back stab him with Jill. That said, what do I do to dissuade Jill from persuing me further, while not creating a scene?

So far I have done nothing. Jack knows nothing about any of this, although Jill's mom certainly does... which totally freaks me out.

So, opinions?

[Retribution]

Tell Jack. It's only fair to him that he knows what his girl-friend is doing.

[Annie]

[color=darkslateblue]Hmm..it sounds to me like this "Jill" doesn't take her current relationship as serious as "Jack" does. She's young and doesn't know what she wants; to be dedicated or to be free . Hell, I'm older than her, and I still don't know what I want in life.

I think you should talk to "Jill" and ask her what's going on in her head. Tell her why it bothers you, let her know your feelings are on this. It sounds as if you are offended; if you are, tell her. Hopefully, she'll take it with maturity and think her behavior over.
[/color]

[James]

[color=#811C3A]Just tell the truth. Tell Jill that her advances are not welcome and that they put you in an awkward position.

I guarantee you, so many of these situations could be avoided if people were just honest. It can be done without creating a scene -- you can just quietly tell her that you don't appreciate it and that it's creating an uncomfortable situation.[/color]

[Baron Samedi]

[size=1]Just say to her "I'm Jack's friend, and I don't think you should be flirting with me".[/size]

[Panda]

I would be honest with her and say that her actions towards you makes you feel uncomfortable.

I do know many girls, myself included, who hug their friends and give kisses on cheeks. It's my way of showing my close friends that I love them but they all know that it is only a show of friendship, nothing more. She may be one of these very affectionate girls. Be sure you aren't reading too much into her actions. If you say it makes you uncomfortable and she really is your friend, she won't be upset.

I say just bring things out in the open and let her know how you feel.

[Sword Breaker]

Hmm... Well, I'm not much for romantic advice but... Meh, maybe she's just really... friendly :) . But if she really is interested in you... You should just tell her that your not interested... but, ya know, she might take it the wrong way... as girls often do... and she might go into those "I'm to fat" senarios... I'd suggest finding another way (pretending your gay, pimp slapping her, etc.) but... as I said before, I'm not one for romantic advice. Just do whatcha feal like :)

[Guest Youkai Trunks]

'_' i'm not good on ne of this... :( very confuseing

[Hevn]

Just, yeah, tell Jill your concerns and if she doesn't stop, warn her that you're telling Jack. If still she doesn't stop, tell Jack.

[Delta]

[COLOR=DarkRed][SIZE=1]
She's just being really nice. Quit thinking that she has a crush on you or something.

Oops. That sounded harsh.
But really love, you shouldn't jump into conclusions. Most probably, those actions were done with no intention of flirting with you. I call a lot of people "love" and I bake tons of things for my friends so maybe Jill's just the same kind of person as I am.

But if her advances teeter between "friendly" and "I-can-sue-you-for-sexual-harassment", I suggest you tell her [i]nicely[/i] to quit bugging you. If she still doesn't stop, do not tell on her boyfriend/your friend. Stay as far away from her as possible.

Love and Peace!
[/SIZE][/COLOR]

[Ezekiel]

[COLOR=Green][SIZE=1]Being a female, and I'm sure others agree with me, it doesn't sound like she's flirting with you. Let me break this down to the examples you gave:

1) Calling you honey: I do this all the time, any number of guys on my contacts list and my school friends will tell you. I'm not flirting, I have a very sound relationship and couldn't wish for anything better, honey is just a term to show you're friends.


2) Cookies: Personally, that's just really nice, if a girl can't make cookies for a friend without it being considered flirting something is very wrong with the world.

3) Hugs, pats on the back, and other contact at awkward times: If it makes you feel awkward, tell her, but I don't think that you should interpret this as flirting. Again, I hug all my male and female friends and yet I don't flirt with them. I hold hands with my friends but I don't have any other feelings for them other than friendship.

If there are some things that she does, ie. make sexual comments around or say? flash O_o then I would believe that she had a crush on you. Based on the examples you gave, I don't think you have anything to worry about her being unfaithful...not with you, anyway. Just tell her you don't feel comfortable and that you prefer being non-physical friends or something.[/SIZE][/COLOR]

[James]

[color=#811C3A]Yeah, I tend to agree with what people are saying here. I know I have female friends who cuddle me and stuff when they see me, but neither of us interpret that as flirting or a sexual advance.

So that's something to consider. Maybe it makes you feel awkward because you're actually interested in her? If that's the case, it may still be a good idea to kindly ask her to tone it down.[/color]

[Guest Sean]

[SIZE=1]God, seeing what Jamie's just said I can assure you it's not flirting. My friend Fiona's like that, she bakes all the time, and gives us cookies. The hilarious thing is that no-one else can call us honey, heh, she nearly killed Spawn of Bridget for it (don't ask ^_^;; ).

And the hugs, yeh I get them all the time, and I'm in a 4 months relationship, and Fiona's in a 7 month relationship. So don't think anything like that, it's just called being friendly.
Really friendly indeed, but not flirting.[/SIZE]

[ChibiHorsewoman]

[color=datkviolet]I wouldn't think too much of it at the moment, I bake for everyone too. And I have a friend who called everyone hun...including my husband.

But if Jill's actions make you uneasy, you should tell her in a nice way. Just tell her that you're glad that she's such an out going caring person, but you have this thing about your personal space. Or something along those lines. Just don't sound conceited about how you think she has a crush on you...that could make her mad. And if you tell her the way I mentioned, even if she does have a crush on you, the touching will stop[/color]

[Juke Box Hero]

Hmm...

I see what you guys are saying and I appriciate it. I've read too far into things before you see, I tend to... carry things out to "conclusions" without a lot of thought.

I really have never recieved baked goods when the situation did not invilve some form romantic affection, although I consider its entirely possible for it not to be. I see that aspect in a new light, thanks.

Jill really has never been the "friendly" type before, which was the main reason I freaked out about it, but hey, people change.

Thanks for helping me examine this a little more rationally.

[3v1l.l33t]

Mabey Jill sees no success in her ralationship and is looking at someone new....you.

Play your game smoothly but don't get too cought up in her. Think about it, if you don't want her then tell her about what she's doing. If you think you might then see what she wants and what Jack and her will do. Then my friend, go in for the "kill".

[Moi]

Yeah, just tell Jack, that is the best thing to do. Tell Jack, and tell Jill that you don't think it's right for her to be hitting on you when she's dating Jack. Just tell Jill to back off a little bit, you know mate? Cheers!