A scientifical look at Santa!

[Mithos]

[COLOR=SlateGray][SIZE=1][FONT=Century Gothic][quote]Could Santa really do what it's claimed he does?

There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the population reference bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming there is at least one good child in each.

Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stocking, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get onto the next house.

Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks.

This means Santa?s sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second--3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour.

The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized LEGO set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousands tons, not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that the "flying" reindeer can pull 10 times the normal amount, the job can?t be done with eight or even nine of them---Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch).

600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance?this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth?s atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would adsorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip.

Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds, would be subjected to acceleration forces of 17,000 g?s. A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo. Therefore, if Santa did exist, he?s dead now.[/quote]

Discuss. I think if Santa really exist, he oculd be a pixie like character so he could survive the acceleration[/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]

[Annie]

[color=darkslateblue][size=1]Oh my. Do they have to find another reason to ruin Christmas?! I believed in him!! *runs off crying*

Kidding. This is too much math for my feeble, non-mathematics brain. It just amazes me that people actually sit down and figure out some scientifical explaination for everything.[/color][/size]

[Sol-Blade]

[SIZE=-3]Heh, I believe in Santa. Have done so for the past...19 years. I don't need no stinkin' science or big words to tell me otherwise!!! lol

I don't care whether he is real or not, it gets me and my family in the Christmas'y mood, and that's all I could ask for. :D[/SIZE]

[PWNED]

I have an actual Santa theory....

Santa is really my parents who break into everyones house and put presents everywhere the world. [B]I first found this out when I noticed that I didn't have a chimney[/B], One christmas I made a scientific hypothesis that Santa did not exist so I stayed up all night and saw my parents putting the presents under the tree. So at the first Show and Tell I decided to tell my class my studies. I crusahed so many spirits that day that It was funny.

[AzureWolf]

[FONT=book antiqua][SIZE=2][COLOR=blue]What the hell is the matter with you people?! We have kids in this forum, don't you remember?

Well, some people believe Santa exists and others don't, but like Space Ghost, there's no way to prove or disprove him. But I believe, Space Ghost, I believe...

I have to question some of the raw data the original post contains, especially with the "scientifical" title.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[Boba Fett]

[quote name='AzureWolf][FONT=book antiqua][SIZE=2][COLOR=blue]We have kids in this forum, don't you remember?[/COLOR][/SIZE'][/FONT][/quote]

[color=green]Hey, if DW can have Shinmaru run around naked on a quest for a porn site...

It's probably ok to knock Santa.

I posted this on MyO a little while ago, and I think it's rather funny. However, I'd never let my little brother near it. The whole Christmas experience, complete with Santa Claus, is something that all children should experience. It's a very special, heartwarming thing to watch them discover what Santa brought them.

So while it's all good and well for us older kids to laugh, keep it away from the little kids. Remember your childhood, and don?t deny them the same experience.[/color]

[Retribution]

I think Santa Claus has [B]magic[/B]. That's how he can do it. [B][I]So there![/I][/B] lol.

Anyway, children should definetly experience the fun of Santa. I think I knocked him at age 9 when my friends started to become skeptical about his existence. One of my brothers doesn't believe in him (just like me), another has become confused about his extistence, and the other two are completely enthralled in the mystery of Santa.

Heh. I remember one Christmas, I set a banana and a cup of juice out for Santa. The note I sent him said that he ate all the other kid's cookies, so he needed a healthy snack. That memory always makes me laugh during the season.

[Vicky]

[SIZE=1][B]Santa used to exist to me, but he doesn't to me now. I asked my mum how he got in without a chimney and she said he has the house keys (give that some thought for a moment and you'd find it scary that a stranger has the keys to my house). However, I had many ways to prove my mum and dad wrong:

1. We watched a video in my room (me and my brother) on Christmas Eve, and it had finished. I was still awake, and I went downstairs at like... midnight to tell my parents, I walked down and found them putting together a bike, my bike for Christmas. Looks like Santa didn't bring it.

2. The presents are already under the tree before Christmas XD

3. When I wake up in the night, it's snowing. I watched the snow then it stopped, woke up in the morning and if Santa came through my house door there were no footprints in the snow (unless he's like Jesus or something).

4. How the hell can 9 reindeers pull a fat dude, a sleigh and a sack full of presents for the whole world? And how the hell does Santa fit all those bikes in his sack?

5. ...There isn't a present under my tree that says "From Santa".

6. I think the "elves" wouldn't like working all year round in the freezing north pole, hell they probably don't get paid.

...Haha, I only had time to believe in Santa for a few years, see I was cunning and smart (not really, just lucky and a non-believer) and found out that Santa didn't come to my house, open the door, sneak around like a prevert (lol, just joking... well... who the hell sneaks around your house at night besides your dad looking for the hidden beer?), eat the cookies and milk, leave the presents then fly off into the night sky to give the rest of the 2 billion children their presents in one nights work then goes back to his house in the north pole with heating, I hope.[/SIZE][/B]

[Delta]

[COLOR=DarkRed][SIZE=1][QUOTE=vicky][SIZE=1][B]4. How the hell can 9 reindeers pull a fat dude, a sleigh and a sack full of presents for the whole world? And how the hell does Santa fit all those bikes in his sack?

6. I think the "elves" wouldn't like working all year round in the freezing north pole, hell they probably don't get paid.
[/SIZE][/B][/QUOTE]
Q#4: The reindeers train in Mount Kilimanjaro for 300 days a year and spend 60 days running intercontinental marathons. And how does he fit those bikes in a sack? Physicists. He hires physicists.

Q#6: No, love. They don't work all year round. Because of special Tolkien Elven magic, they only work for about a week conceptualizing toy designs. Then the Dwarves of Moria take over.

:D
Merry Christmas OB!
[/SIZE][/COLOR]

[ChibiHorsewoman]

[color=darkviolet]What do you mean he doesn't exist? Oh crap...it's Christmas day and I've been waiting for some non existant guy in a red suit to do my shoping for me? Well, i guess I'm screwed now.

Actually, I stopped believing in Santa when I was 7 and he didn't bring me the horse I asked for, talk about crushing a child's spirit. :bawl:[/color]

[future girl]

I never believed in Santa, never. My parents have always been very adamant about getting credit for the load of money they spend on us for Christmas. However if Santa did exist, I imagine he'd have the power to stop time because that'd be the obvious power to have. Plus, he's like a saint so he obviously has the devine trinity working on his side. How much more magical can you get?

[MissWem]

[COLOR=DarkRed][SIZE=1]I feel so.. stupid. I was one of those kids who actually [i]tried to believe in santa.[/i] XD

For some reason I couldn't seem to, not that anyone told me otherwise. Aside from the other kids that were/are still naive enough to believe in his existence. We never even had a tree to put presents underneath, except for one year where I kept asking for one. Eh.. my Christmas spirit only really extends as far as playing Christmas carols on the piano and wishing people "Merry Christmas and what-not".

Funny thing though, my teacher has a 5 year old who said that santa can leave the presents outside on the doorstep. He didn't fancy some fat jolly stranger breaking and entering to give him his presents. HAHAHA!!

I also [i]tried[/i] to believe in the tooth fairy as well, that didn't work out.

So, Merry Christmas, happy holidays, seasons greetings and what-not y'all ^_^[/SIZE][/COLOR]

[3v1l.l33t]

All of the scientifical information is frickin hilarious. But really It's impossible for there to be a Santa Clause. And it's one thing that if I have kids will not lie to them about. There is no Santa Clause.

[Sara]

[quote name='DerelictDestiny][COLOR=DarkRed][SIZE=1]I feel so.. stupid. I was one of those kids who actually [i]tried to believe in santa.[/i] XD[/SIZE'][/COLOR][/quote][color=#4b4b79]Dude! I'm totally with you all the way on that one. We're not stupid, we're totally awesome.

I fought to believe in Santa/Rudolph/Tooth Fairy, etc., for years. There was always this vague idea of something not seeming [i]quite[/i] right...but I was okay with the oddness, and squelched that feeling whenever possible.

What little kid doesn't want to believe in Santa? I feel sorry for him, heh. It's all about the magic.

like a lightbulb,
Sara[/color]

[Guest Good Rev Roger]

[B]scientifical'd[/B]
sorry...couldn't resist.


[QUOTE=AzureWolf][FONT=book antiqua][SIZE=2][COLOR=blue]What the hell is the matter with you people?! We have kids in this forum, don't you remember?
[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/QUOTE]

I hate kids, all the more reason to crush their christmas spirits. or tell them Santa was shot down when he infringed on US airspace.

-----------------
But really, the whole concept being santa is foolish, for pretty much all the reasons stated by the topic creator.

sorry little timmy...Santa was shot down over area 51.

[AzureWolf]

[FONT=book antiqua][SIZE=2][COLOR=blue]Yeah, but don't you think the first post is too dependent on assumption after assumption? Who said Santa had to obey all laws of physics? Specifically, Santa can be in two places at the same time. How else could he know when you've been bad or good?[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[Pumpkin]

[QUOTE=vicky][SIZE=1][B]Santa used to exist to me, but he doesn't to me now. I asked my mum how he got in without a chimney and she said he has the house keys (give that some thought for a moment and you'd find it scary that a stranger has the keys to my house). However, I had many ways to prove my mum and dad wrong:

1. We watched a video in my room (me and my brother) on Christmas Eve, and it had finished. I was still awake, and I went downstairs at like... midnight to tell my parents, I walked down and found them putting together a bike, my bike for Christmas. Looks like Santa didn't bring it.

2. The presents are already under the tree before Christmas XD

3. When I wake up in the night, it's snowing. I watched the snow then it stopped, woke up in the morning and if Santa came through my house door there were no footprints in the snow (unless he's like Jesus or something).

4. How the hell can 9 reindeers pull a fat dude, a sleigh and a sack full of presents for the whole world? And how the hell does Santa fit all those bikes in his sack?

5. ...There isn't a present under my tree that says "From Santa".

6. I think the "elves" wouldn't like working all year round in the freezing north pole, hell they probably don't get paid.

...Haha, I only had time to believe in Santa for a few years, see I was cunning and smart (not really, just lucky and a non-believer) and found out that Santa didn't come to my house, open the door, sneak around like a prevert (lol, just joking... well... who the hell sneaks around your house at night besides your dad looking for the hidden beer?), eat the cookies and milk, leave the presents then fly off into the night sky to give the rest of the 2 billion children their presents in one nights work then goes back to his house in the north pole with heating, I hope.[/SIZE][/B][/QUOTE]


[FONT=Verdana][SIZE=1][COLOR=SeaGreen] I don't think anything can take away the fun of believing in Santa. Yes I had suspicions too, but I'm not going to lie, I believed in him until the 5th grade. How I found out? well it wasn't that hard considering I had to wrap presents and make treats for the kindgardeners and say they were from "Elf helpers" and knew the Santa that came to school was fake since he was my dad. lol. I also started to notice that the presents entitled "From Santa" were in my mom's handwriting.

My scientific question is how can he be pixie size when hes got to eat all that cookies and milk? He'd have to have ALOT of stomaches or an infinite appetite. Yeah, thats it! It's all the work of magic ;) screw scientific talk.

[/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]

[Manic Webb]

Actually, Santa does exist. He retired from the delivery business in 1914, during the first World War. The air traffic and risk of being shot down became too great. He retired, moved to Florida (now living under the alias of Nicolas Steinberg), and released the elves with a severance package to die for. The flying reindeer are privately owned by select members of the social elite, such as Bill Gates and Oprah.

[Baron Samedi]

[size=1]I've seen this before. It sounded much more intelligent with the title of 'An Engineer's Perspective On Christmas'.

Anyway, the point is, Santa doesn't exist. So, who cares if he should be some little pixie type character, lol.

And I do believe that people who purposely spoil the 'Santa' theory for others are bad people. And will burn in hell. Forever. And ever. Amen.[/size]

[TheShinje]

A little way to spend less [strike]this[/strike] next christmas......




[img]http://crazy-jokes.com/pictures/tombstone.jpg[/img]


Guess the strain and stress of the job finally took him, eh?

[Erika]

[size=1][color=royalblue]Oh, boo-effing-hoo. I never believed in Santa, even when I was little, at all, and I had enough imagination to fuel the mind of Shigeru Miyamoto. In fact, I'm pretty sure I still do.

I'd never lie to my kids.[/color][/size]

[Tigervx]

[FONT=Arial][COLOR=Teal]A big fat man in a costume breaking into your house? he probably would've been shot by now if he exists =P. Man that would be a great episode of Cops. But I really did believe Santa existed till I was seven, when my parents finally broke the news to me that there was no fat man coming downt he chimeny. Plus I live in the Sacramento Valley, so theres never any snow. And if any kid ever even THOUGHT about the math involved in Santa, they'd figure out it's pretty much impossible unless he can either freeze time or has Neil Armstrong working for him.[/COLOR][/FONT]

[ChibiHorsewoman]

[quote name='Dark Serena][size=1][color=royalblue] I'd never lie to my kids.[/color'][/size][/quote]

[color=darkviolet]Well, that's what Lincoln's planning on doing too...telling our kids the truth about Santa. But I think if you tell your kids that there is no Santa you should do two things. 1.) Make sure that you tell your kids that even though they know there is no Santa they shouldn't go around telling their school friends and 2.) Be prepared for repercussions when your kids slip up and mention to their friends that their parent's have been lying to them since they were 2.

My parents let me believe in Santa and I swear I wasn't emotionally scarred by that. I mean it... now if you'll excuse me I have to go figure out what to tell my shrink tomorrow[/color]

[Attimus331]

He can stop time, duh!

You non-believers sicken me! Haha, just kidding.

I like all the numbers that quote gave us, i find it odd though that somebody would want to try to disprove a kid's character. What if little Timmy came across this and discovered santa really wasn't real? He would be heart-broken. Good thing the guy's intentions were purely "scientific".

This thread did give me a good laugh though, and i thank you for it.

Later.

[Manic Webb]

Many parents lead their children into believing in Santa Claus, but very few parents are actually good at keeping the ruse up. I always found my mom's gifts "from Santa" sitting in the hall closet. On top of that, we didn't have a chimney. I asked my mom how Santa got into the house, and she told me he knocked and she let him in. I think I got completely over Santa Claus by the time I was 5 or 6, but I continued to play along for the sake of my mom.

It's funny to see my 6 year old half-sister humor my step-mom. My step-mom tries so hard to keep "Santa's" gifts a secret. She even sneaks the gifts under the tree after she sends her to bed. When Christmas morning came along, my sister asked why we didn't fill in the "from" line on the to/from cards, while we were wrapping gifts the night before. My step-mom tried to play it off, like Santa delivered the gifts. My sister looked at her like she was crazy. Funny stuff.

So the way I see it, a lot of kids usually catch on pretty quickly, and it doesn't seem to bother them. It's like how kids never [i]really[/i] believe in the Easter Bunny, but they play along when their parents hide the boiled eggs in the backyard.