Wacky Family...

[Akieen Cloud]

Alright I'm sure all our family has their little qurcks and I'm sure everyone lovew them just the same but I'm home in West Vergina right now and well, my family scares me. My family is loving and caring just like anyother family but well...they can be somewaht frightening at times. Example. What made me start this was the fact taht me and my younger cousin are down in the basement and the next thing we know we hear a large thump and then we hear two things, my grandmother say 'Oh ****." and my uncle henry, "Oh man" so I think that something has happened like every worried granddaughter I send my cousin to see because next thing we hear is "Get some water, Get some water!" I thought something was on fire. My mother had accidently thrown a case of soda at Uncle henry. Not on purpose but either way. Just wondering if some other families are as disfunctional as mine.

[Morpheus]

My dad "accidentally" hit my uncle over the head with a croquet mallet....twice. Not at the same time, but we always joke about how it knocked a few screws loose.

[M.Ali]

[quote name='DuoMaxwell1423'] My mother had accidently thrown a case of soda at Uncle henry. Not on purpose but either way. Just wondering if some other families are as disfunctional as mine.[/quote]

[color=green][font=trebuchet ms]Whoa! :laugh: How did she accidently throw a case of soda at him...strange... :confused:

Anyway, my family scares me sometimes too. Like my little cousin, when he was small, he'd always want his way, and when he couldn't get it, he'd fall backwards really hard and hit his head on the floor....to this day, he has a slightly larger head :genius:...[/color][/font]

[ChibiHorsewoman]

[color=darkviolet]Sometimes my family just makes me glad that I'm [i]adopted[/i] and I have the papers to prove it. :D And then there's my mother-in-law who just makes me glad that sometimes the apple falls very very very far from the tree.

The best example I have of how my family makes me glad to be adopted is the time my mom's side went to an Italian resturuant for my papa's 75th birthday. My brother ordered spegghetti and my aunt Marty, goddess love her, asked him if he wanted balls with that!

And there's always my brother who tries to run over squirells in his car. I swear if you say squirell he'll jump in his car and drive over someone's lawn to hit it :laugh:

My mother-in-law leaves pleanty of examples. She's suggested that I stick my daughter in a pillowcase when I told her that Abby was having trouble sleeping at night. She asked her neighbor if she thought I left my daughter in the car when I went up to see Lincoln's cousin's room and left Abby at home with my dad. Oh and once she threw a temper tantrume in Payless because I suggested she try on a different size pair of shoes than the ones she had in her hand. :flaming:

I dare anyone to top my mother-in-law! If you can I'll donate $10 to the red cross for the Tsunami relief fund.[/color]

[wiccansamurai]

When I was younger, my little brother got angry at me and stabbed me with a pencil. He was going for my throat, but got my chin instead.

And then there's my grandpa who felt a need to tell me about his sexcapades from when he was fourteen while we were at my aunts for Christmas. And he thinks he met Lincoln and Washington. And he gave my brother a chunk of metal for his sixteenth birthday and was explaining how to make a rocket ship that would go to Mars with it. This wouldn't be so sad... if he didn't completely beleive it himself.

[IceWolfEyes]

[quote name='Jeff Foxworthy]Your family is a pack of idiots whom you have to love. We exist on earth to love each other, and our family is the test. Family is different from friends. You can pick your friends. It's easy to love your friends, [I]because[/I'] you pick them. But with family, God just sorts through the whole pile of souls and says, "This one will hate this one-okay, they're brothers. This one will drive everyone crazy-she'll be the aunt." You just get stuck with these people, and most of them are nuts. You let family get away with behavior you wouldn't put up with from your closest friends, let alone strangers. You love your family and hate them, fight with and fight for them. But in the end they're all you've got.[/quote]

Methinks, that sums up everything nicely.

On the note of the thread, my mother can start fights about anything. A moldy banana is a prime example of this.

[Pumpkin]

[QUOTE=ChibiHorsewoman][color=darkviolet]Sometimes my family just makes me glad that I'm [i]adopted[/i] and I have the papers to prove it. :D And then there's my mother-in-law who just makes me glad that sometimes the apple falls very very very far from the tree.

The best example I have of how my family makes me glad to be adopted is the time my mom's side went to an Italian resturuant for my papa's 75th birthday. My brother ordered spegghetti and my aunt Marty, goddess love her, asked him if he wanted balls with that!

And there's always my brother who tries to run over squirells in his car. I swear if you say squirell he'll jump in his car and drive over someone's lawn to hit it :laugh:

My mother-in-law leaves pleanty of examples. She's suggested that I stick my daughter in a pillowcase when I told her that Abby was having trouble sleeping at night. She asked her neighbor if she thought I left my daughter in the car when I went up to see Lincoln's cousin's room and left Abby at home with my dad. Oh and once she threw a temper tantrume in Payless because I suggested she try on a different size pair of shoes than the ones she had in her hand. :flaming:

I dare anyone to top my mother-in-law! If you can I'll donate $10 to the red cross for the Tsunami relief fund.[/color][/QUOTE]

[FONT=Verdana][SIZE=1][COLOR=SeaGreen] LMAO! sorry but but your brother who tries to run over squirrels sounds pretty funny. I bet you anything that my grandma can beat your mother-in-law. She's a sweet old lady but doesn't know the term "hands off", infact she even spanked my x-boyfriendsand complimented on how "cute he was". She also likes to grab other parts O.O; you don't even know how embarrasing that is. She's half-hungarian so most the time she misunderstands what your talking about and will make my friends sit down to talk about her life and world war II and how awful it is. Half the time she forgets that they are here to talk to me, and not her and gets annoyed when I try and talk with my friends. She also has two "boyfriends" and tries to dance infront of my friends. Which I have to admit is kinda funny especially when dancing to a rap song.

And then theres my dad. My dad tries to be cool too much, and gets on my nerves easily. He rhymes everything you say, like if you said "I want to go the store " he'd reply "Store? More? you want to go to the store?" and finds it funny to repeat things in rhymes. Not only does he do this, but he laughs at his own jokes and likes to swerve the car back and forth. Its just a carwreck waiting to happen, my mom however is another matter, shes very serious and I don't even know how she can take my dad since they are so different. Its like we're the adams family or something. My sister however burps in public, is aggressive, and total opposite of me. She also likes to sing (which its painful to hear her singing) and screaming at old men jogging along the road. I'm not kidding. So yeah thats my whole family for yah. But the worst would have to be my perverted Grandma who asks me about my sexlife. oh goodie. [/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]

[ChibiHorsewoman]

[quote name='Pumpkin][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=1][COLOR=SeaGreen]. I bet you anything that my grandma can beat your mother-in-law. She's a sweet old lady but doesn't know the term "hands off", infact she even spanked my x-boyfriendsand complimented on how "cute he was". She also likes to grab other parts O.O; you don't even know how embarrasing that is. She's half-hungarian so most the time she misunderstands what your talking about and will make my friends sit down to talk about her life and world war II and how awful it is. Half the time she forgets that they are here to talk to me, and not her and gets annoyed when I try and talk with my friends. She also has two "boyfriends" and tries to dance infront of my friends. Which I have to admit is kinda funny especially when dancing to a rap song[/FONT][/SIZE'][/COLOR][/quote]

[color=darkviolet] Your grandma and Wiccan Samurai's grandpa sound like they have my mother-in-law beat, but let me elaborate a bit more. My mother-in-law had a (n invisible) boyfriend who was supposed to be heir to the Spalding (ie basket balls) fortune, but then his plane crashed and he died. Her brother who is supposedly in the Hell's Angels is 'responsible' for killing him so he doesn't exist any more.

She doesn't shower or bathe at all and has 7 cats in a one bedroom apartment. She gets jealous of how much time and attention my husband spends on me, our daughter or anyone else...let's see....She thinks that any guy (including my dad who has been married to my mom for 30 years) who talks to her wants to get with her. My mother-in-law dresses like a [spoiler]Sk]anky [/spoiler] 20 something because she's a size 00. She's a size 00 because all she eats is beef jerky and she skips eating for days even though she has pleanty of food stamps...One of her neighbor's kids (who is actually her neice) asked her for a box of pasta once and Sandy (my MIL ) told her that it was in the freezer so she couldn't use any.

Oh, let's see, Lincoln told me that once she used one of those telephone dating services and when the guy showed up he took one look at her and said he had to repark his car. He never came back. And to top it all off she got **** face drunk at mine and Lincoln's wedding reception and got mad at me for yelling at her about it. She said it was because of her boyfriend's death...not because her sister (who she doesn't really talk to) wouldn';t give her $300. Oh yeah, when Lincoln got back from Korea the first thing she said to him was 'can I have $350? She hadn't seen the only one of her 2 kids that speaks to her in a year and instead of asking how he was or saying she missed him, Sandy asked him for money.

So yeah, after I pay my bills I'll donate $20 to the red cross, but I still don't think anyone can beat all that.[/color]

[Ezekiel]

[COLOR=RoyalBlue][SIZE=1]Well, I'm glad to say that my family isn't wacky in a bad way. In fact, most members of my family are perfectly sane, aside from my Dad, my Uncle and myself.

My Dad is by far the worse, he's very embarrassing, but once you've lived with him it becomes infectious (if you are that way inclined...like myself). I remember one instance where he and I had gone to the DIY store in the village where the main shopping High street is. We bought a broom handle and a bucket and the first thing my dad does when we have a few seconds of silence is grab the broom 'sit' on it and say [B]'Look, I'm Harry Potter!? [/B] He then proceeded to run down the centre of the pavement with the broom, pretending to play Quidditch. I walked the other way; unfortunately, he caught up to me, plonked the bucket on my head and told me to march.

It was an?. interesting day, to say the least, once I actually did go along with it, it wasn't so bad ^_^;;

My Uncle is just plain weird, his thoughts are so strange and he always thinks he?s right. He leaves himself open for so many of my snide remarks, then thinks that everyone is against him when they pull him up on his mistakes. I guess that's not wacky...just annoying.

Heh, then there?s me, and I'm sane on these boards, I think life is an outlet for the frustrations I build up online![/SIZE][/COLOR]

[Pumpkin]

[QUOTE=ChibiHorsewoman][color=darkviolet] Your grandma and Wiccan Samurai's grandpa sound like they have my mother-in-law beat, but let me elaborate a bit more. My mother-in-law had a (n invisible) boyfriend who was supposed to be heir to the Spalding (ie basket balls) fortune, but then his plane crashed and he died. Her brother who is supposedly in the Hell's Angels is 'responsible' for killing him so he doesn't exist any more.

She doesn't shower or bathe at all and has 7 cats in a one bedroom apartment. She gets jealous of how much time and attention my husband spends on me, our daughter or anyone else...let's see....She thinks that any guy (including my dad who has been married to my mom for 30 years) who talks to her wants to get with her. My mother-in-law dresses like a [spoiler]Sk]anky [/spoiler] 20 something because she's a size 00. She's a size 00 because all she eats is beef jerky and she skips eating for days even though she has pleanty of food stamps...One of her neighbor's kids (who is actually her neice) asked her for a box of pasta once and Sandy (my MIL ) told her that it was in the freezer so she couldn't use any.

Oh, let's see, Lincoln told me that once she used one of those telephone dating services and when the guy showed up he took one look at her and said he had to repark his car. He never came back. And to top it all off she got **** face drunk at mine and Lincoln's wedding reception and got mad at me for yelling at her about it. She said it was because of her boyfriend's death...not because her sister (who she doesn't really talk to) wouldn';t give her $300. Oh yeah, when Lincoln got back from Korea the first thing she said to him was 'can I have $350? She hadn't seen the only one of her 2 kids that speaks to her in a year and instead of asking how he was or saying she missed him, Sandy asked him for money.

So yeah, after I pay my bills I'll donate $20 to the red cross, but I still don't think anyone can beat all that.[/color][/QUOTE]

[FONT=Verdana][SIZE=1]

LMAO. My grandmother hates cats, infacts she usually tries to kick the ones we have (yeah we have 5 cats but thats because they were abandoned, one of our neighbors dumped his 11 year old cat on our door and he was half-dead, long story anyways) did i mention she cusses in another language? yes thats right, and tries to speak to my friends in hungarian. Like they can understand anything. As for that telephone dating service, omg that is hilarious. Really sad but funny. Reminds me, my grandma is quite popular with the guys at the retirement old people's center (she use to live with us but now she moved over therer) infact I was walking with my mom to go visit her. She doesn't open the door to strangers, and we usually have to yell to get her to open the door, she must have been asleep since she didn't hear us and we asked one of the janitors to open the door for us. My mom was saying to me "I bet she's in her nightgown so she doesn't want to come out." and then that old guy was like "It's okay, shes got it going on!" and left. How embarrasing is that? Old men are so perverted ;D

Anyways, Methuselah your uncle doesn't sound all that bad. Atleast he's not into Lord of The Rings or else he'd be smacking people with mops eh? My dad think he's a kid too. So I guess I'm use to that kind of behavior. After all he does rhyme everything remember.



[/FONT][/SIZE]

[Anne]

[SIZE=1]Jimmy crickets; my whole family including myself is just plain weird. My Auntie?s first husband called as all the Adams Family because of how bad we are. She is working on her fourth husband right now, who is a 50 year old biker and she is a 32 year old electrically engineer biker with four kids. This guy fits in pretty well with us though. Than there is my mother, who has this ability to every pothole on the road, even when she is not aiming for them. Than there is my Father he loves New Jersey, I feel that is the weirdest part about him, and never wants to leave. We also don't let him near any power tools, especially around my Uncle. The last time they worked on a project together my Dad shot him in the stomach with the nail gun and than shot one into his own foot. He has done other things like this, too. They know us by name at the Hospital.

I think one of my favourite family members though is my great Uncle who has a master?s degree in Astro Physics and is a bum. After he finished getting his degree he told us he wanted to become a bum. Of course we all laughed at first because we thought he was joking, he wasn't though. He actually lives near me under a bridge. He keeps his degree hung up on the side of the building, too. I bring him food and blankets every now and than and he tells me all these stories about what other people do on the road.

Than, there are my grandparents. My Grandmother who is an obsessive-compulsive is always funny to watch. If anyone has every seen the show Monk that is my grandmother right there. After awhile she starts to get on your nerves. The worst though is when she comes into other people houses and starts to clean them up.

I could go on forever about why my family is wired. These are just the tip of the iceberg of my family. There is also my Uncle wife who parents are Jewish nudist or how it?s a bad idea to get more than ten of us together at one time. I wouldn't trade this family for the world though. [/SIZE]

[Patronus]

[quote name='DuoMaxwell1423']Alright I'm sure all our family has their little qurcks and I'm sure everyone lovew them just the same but I'm home in West Vergina right now and well, my family scares me. My family is loving and caring just like anyother family but well...they can be somewaht frightening at times. Example. What made me start this was the fact taht me and my younger cousin are down in the basement and the next thing we know we hear a large thump and then we hear two things, my grandmother say 'Oh ****." and my uncle henry, "Oh man" so I think that something has happened like every worried granddaughter I send my cousin to see because next thing we hear is "Get some water, Get some water!" I thought something was on fire. My mother had accidently thrown a case of soda at Uncle henry. Not on purpose but either way. Just wondering if some other families are as disfunctional as mine.[/quote]
Just because your mom threw a case of soda at your uncle accidentally makes your family dysfunctional? Wow, then my family is from Hell.

My mom and grandpa don't talk; my aunt is a liar and a thief; my uncle has/had a mistress. The problems could go on and on.

[Fall]

[size=2]There's no way we could live in town again. We moved from town about ten year ago to a large block of land about 15 kays out. There is not one day that goes without a punch-up between my younger brothers, or an arguement between my parents. Plates are thrown, glasses are smashed, cars a driven at high speeds out from our driveway. If we lived in town again, people would think they're living nextdoor to hell.[/size]
[size=2][/size]
[size=2]I'm used to it. I don't care.[/size]

[Sara]

[color=#4b4b79]I love my family.

Everyone has quirks. My brother does "Cross Sums" for fun. (They're like crosswords, but with digits instead of letters. Also, they're impossible.) He loves math, something that I'll never understand. He's also lazy and a major procrastinator, which got him in a [i]lot[/i] of trouble, expecially when he was younger. He's gotten much better, although it's hard to believe if you didn't know him back in the day. Generally, though, he's a good guy. We've never really been close, but I can see us being good friends (especially that we only live together for half the year, now.)

My sister thinks she's Batman. Actually, that's untrue, but she does love Batman. All of the presents I got her this year were Bat-themed, and she loved them--it's so much fun. She painted the BatSignal on her (black canvas) backpack, has added it to a couple shirts, and now has a Batman tie, as well as a Batman lunchbox/thermos set (the kind first graders get when they start staying at school for lunch ^_^). She's got this crazy, wacky sense of humor, which is great. My only problem with her is that sometimes, she just doesn't know when to quit. She'll be acting goofy in a serious situation, or won't listen when someone tells her to stop doing something. Also, she holds a mean grudge.

My kid brother is seven (almost eight, wow!), and the kid really puts up with a lot. The rest of us are pretty evenly spaced out, age-wise...Cal's seven years younger than my other brother, the (former) youngest. So I do have to keep that in mind when I talk about him--he puts up with us teasing him a lot. We tease each other the same way, mind, but he doesn't always know exactly what we're talking about. All said and done, though, he's a really good sport about it all, which is fantastic. The kid's very smart, and he's a lot of fun to play with. (Although it's really easy for me to say he's spoiled, too, since he gets to do a lot of stuff I never did when I was little. Again, though, there's a large age difference, which accounts for a lot...He used to watch movies [i]all the time[/i], for example, while movies were a big awesomeness when I was little. But at the same time, I had my brother and sister to play with, and he hasn't got siblings his age. So I forgive the little bugger.)

My parents are both great. I've never not gotten along with them, although Dad sometimes comes home in a bad mood (or gets put in a bad mood when things are a mess around the house), and everyone has to (clean and) tread lightly for a while. Still, I respect him and love him.

One of our favorite anecdotes about Dad... One day (for some reason) we had candles out, maybe on a birthday cake or something. Okay, fine, whatever.

The next morning, unloading, someone found these thin white strings in the washer.... It was really weird. "What...are these?" No one could figure it out--and then it hit us. Wicks. Candle wicking. Dad had put the candles in the washer with the silverware, and they'd melted in all the hot water.

He doesn't do a lot of stuff like that, so it's gone down in family history, heh. "Remember the time [i]Dad [b]waxed[/b] the dishes?[/i]"

stayin' classy,
Sara[/color]

[elfpirate]

Ha! If "dysfunctional" describes a family where a case of soda is tossed about accidentally, then the word "dysfunctional" ceases to hold meaning for me.
I wouldn't even be able to post stories from my family on this board. It would get me and others in some serious s**t. "Disfunctional" falls waaaay short of the mark.
I have no advice for someone who gets uptight about their family's soda-flinging antics except maybe to re-evaluate their situation or to look up the word "dysfunctional".

[Panda]

I absolutely love my family. They are a kick in the pants. The story I will share with everyone is about my dad. My dad has a tendency to speak without thinking about the consequences. Watching [I]The Simpsons[/I] only makes me realize that my father [I]IS[/I] Homer Simpson!

One night when my family (mom, dad, my brother, my husband and myself) got together for dinner. Some how the conversation turned to who was good looking. Well, my father, doing his usual "speaking without thinking" stated: "Between your mom and her sister, her sister is better looking."! We all look at my dad who didn't even realize that what he just said has just put him in the dog house. I tried to help dad out by saying "But we all know that mom is the most beautiful woman in the world." hoping that dad would get the hint. Nope. He didn't. He said: "But it's the truth."! Needless to say my brother and husband just looked on in horror as my mom gave my dad a look of death. Now, that doesn't seem too bad, but here is the clincher...

[B]My mom and her sister are identical twins!![/B]

How can one identical twin be better looking than the other? Even if one could be better looking wouldn't you say that the one you have been married too for decades would be the "better looking" one?! I guess all I can say about that is- D'oh!!

[Sara]

[color=#4b4b79]Panda, wow--that's hilarious. Heheh, I can't even imagine that. How funny. ^_^

On another note, dysfunctional is being used on a rather light note here... It's okay. The word is kinda overused, anyway. I believe the creator of the thread is just looking to talk about silly stuff.

no [i]I'm[/i] Spartacus,
Sara[/color]

[Guest ryoko16]

[COLOR=Cyan]i have a dysfunctional family, too. my mom, dad, stepdad, my little sister and i live in the same house. wouldn't you think my dad would live in another house and my mom and stepdad would live in the same house instead of all of them living under the same roof? :D [/COLOR]

[Akieen Cloud]

wow I geuss some are. I mean I know that the soda thing wasn't a really good example so I'll reiderate. My step dad is well sorta...strange. He drinks and when he get drunk he gets happy and well begins to see things... which has prompted him to see things when he's NORMAL. as in NOT drunk. Roosters with gold teeth. Purple elephants...a talking dog toy...stuff like that. Then there are the days he gets to hot working in the feild (we plant stuff), he sees stuff than. One time he sat down on my bean bag chair and barked like a monkey...well thats how my mom puts it. He actually was grunting like a gorilla. I'm Hyper and have ADD...I think...and my mom and I BOTH are true blondes from a bottle. so yeah. I have a dysfunctional fam. But I love them that I do.

[ChibiHorsewoman]

[QUOTE=elfpirate]Ha! If "dysfunctional" describes a family where a case of soda is tossed about accidentally, then the word "dysfunctional" ceases to hold meaning for me.
I wouldn't even be able to post stories from my family on this board. It would get me and others in some serious s**t. "Disfunctional" falls waaaay short of the mark.
I have no advice for someone who gets uptight about their family's soda-flinging antics except maybe to re-evaluate their situation or to look up the word "dysfunctional".[/QUOTE]

[color=darkviolet]My husband's family is dysfunctional, his mom made him slep on the floor when he was 12 (after she took him back from his aunt's to live with her and her new drug addicted husband) and they turned off the water at night so he couldn't get a drink of water and he ended up drinking from the toilet tank. Then when he was in high school she decided that they were going to move to VA. She ended up getting commited to a state hospital (ie a psyche ward) and he ended up living with his brother and a pastor of some church. His mom met his dad in a psyche ward and she yelled at Lincoln for eating a can of soup that she had got with food stamps when he was staying at her apartment. [i]That's[/i] dysfunctional.

What this thread is about is the wacky things our family member's do...like the time my cat attacked my brother so he threw her out my second floor bedroom window. That's wacky-and it boarders on animal cruelty. Thank you.

I am Sparticus...
CHW[/color]