Writing The Changers [M- LVS]

[Frankie]

[size=2][color=red][b][size=4][center]The Disappearances[/center]
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[left][/b][/size][font=Tahoma][size=1]It was a cold and stormy winter night. It was below 20 degrees outside and the snow was blowing all over the place in swirls of white flakes. The roads were almost too icy to drive on so most of the people in the small town of Little Dale were spending their time indoors And who wouldn?t? After all it was Christmas Eve.[/size][/font][/left]
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The sound of carolers could only be heard over the radio or TV because it was to fierce outside for people to sing and entertain others. Down on Fifth Avenue the houses were small and cozy looking. Each window was lit up with colorful Christmas lights and decorations, each chimney was putting out dark smoke for everyone had a fire going, and the sound of young children protesting could be heard from a few houses. Each little kid didn?t want to go to bed yet? They wanted to stay up and wait for Santa. In the end they were all tucked in bed and fast asleep, but not in one house.

In the small red house at the end of the road there was a girl who sat up watching TV. There were no holiday lights in her window or smoke from the chimney and no carols from the radio. In fact there was no presents, no tree, not an ounce of Christmas spirit in this small house. No eggnog, no mistletoe, and not a single present in sight. This girl with hair as dark as the shadows was just sitting there on a fluffy red couch sipping cola in the silence of her living room.

This girl?s shadowy hair fell to her shoulders with fiery red streaks through her hair as well. Her dark green eyes resembled emeralds in the light. The light from a candle next to the table made shadows and the shadows danced across her light skin. She was wearing a dark green tank top with blue jeans that had fire designs on the leg. On her left arm was a tattoo of a four headed dragon that if she was wearing a Tee shirt it would be hidden completely. She sat there silently staring off into space.

?Are you just going to sit there all night?? A male voice was heard coming from the kitchen.

A young man walked into the room. He too had short hair as dark as the shadows that went to right below his ears. His skin was slightly darker than the girls but you couldn?t tell to well because he was wearing a long sleeve red shirt and black jeans. His dark blue eyes scanned the room and stopped at the girl. He smiled walked over to her and sat down next to her. In the silence he played with the silvery bar through his tongue.

?There is not much else to do. What do you recommend Rex?? The girl asked blinking at him.

?Why do you always ask me that question?? The boy named Rex glanced at her glass of cola. ?Spike your drink eh Kira??

?No it?s just that I can?t think of anything to do and thought perhaps you could?

Kira and Rex sat there for a few minutes in silence when someone burst through the front door. It was an older man with graying hair and many wrinkles starting to form. He threw his coat on the rack and headed into the living room. He saw Rex and Kira sitting on the couch and smirked.

?Are you two up to no good again?? He asked.

?No gramps? We are playing with fire, planning to rob the market, and getting ready to set the house on fire. Of course we aren?t. Rex is just about to go home anyways? It?s getting late.? Kira smiled and nudged her friend.

?Yeah? I guess ill be going now then? The weather is starting to get worse and I have a ways to go.? Rex gave Kira a look as if to say [i]I guess that means no destruction tonight then eh?[/i]

Kira nodded and waved as her friend went to the kitchen to get his coat. Her grandfather disappeared upstairs and Kira took another sip from her soda. Rex returned and pulled his coat on. He leaned down and kissed Kira on the cheek. He leaned up and smiled.

?I guess I will be seeing you tomorrow??

?Guess so tough stuff?? Kira sipped her soda once again.

As Rex headed for the door he could see the storm getting worse. He reached a hand into his pocket and pulled out a key ring. He reached his other hand for the door knob. When his hand hit the door knob a flash of lightning appeared out of nowhere. The entire house was lit up and then went completely dark. Rex turned around and looked around? he could see nothing at all.

?Kira?? He said quietly but all he got was silence.

He wandered around till he found his way into the living room. He could see through the window that every other house on the block had electricity? so why did Kira?s not have light. Why hadn?t she answered him? He reached out and felt someone in the darkness. The lightning flashed again and what he saw was a bit different. He had his hand on a demons arm. The demon had red eyes and purple skin? She had huge bat like wings, long fingernails, and clawed feet. She had long black stringy hair and a long whip like tail.

?You don?t look like Kira?? He said almost thinking this was one of Kira?s many jokes.

?That?s because I?m not!? The demon girl said with a grin on her face.



In another flash of lightning the demon girl was gone and Rex stood alone in the living room. He was getting nervous and he tried to take a step forward when the lights flashed on. He was suddenly horrified at what he saw. The floor was black and red? Swirling streams of black and red energy flowed all over the floor around him. It got closer to him and suddenly he was falling. Everything was dark and he searched for something as he fell. Then he felt something hit him in the back of the head and two purple arms wrapped around his chest pulling him down deeper. With the second hit he fell unconscious as he continued to fall in the grips of the demon girl.

Hours later his eyelids slowly opened. All he could see was the blurry form of someone leaning over him. He leaned up quickly almost knocking into the person as he gripped his aching head. The person there stepped back and watched for a moment.

?She hit you hard I imagine?? Said the figure who sounded familiar.

?Kira?? He asked trying to stay up.

?Uh? Who is that? Oh? No I?m afraid Nuria still has her.?

?Who the hell is Nuria?? Rex said rubbing his eyes till he could see.

The girl in front of him was a young girl about the age of fourteen. She was wearing green shorts with yellow trim and a green shirt with yellow horizontal stripes. She had short blue hair and eyes that were brown like wood. She had a long sword strapped to her back. She looked petty young to be wielding such a weapon. Rex wondered to himself what was going on. He came to the conclusion that he was dreaming.

?Nuria is the Demon girl who had you? She? She is a Changer. A group of odd people who can change into animals or demons in Nuria?s case? Me and my brother Marek got you from her before she could harm you. The Changers are very dangerous? At least that?s what the scholar Zeki tells me?? She smiled a bit, ?Oh my name is Kali by the way. What is yours??

Rex could hardly handle what he was hearing, ?My name is Rex? What is going on here!??

?Hmm? Maybe father should speak to you?? With that Kali left the room which Rex had just realized was a strange looking tent. Within minutes a man entered the room.

He was very fit. He had a very muscular build. He wore gray pants and black shoes of some sort. He had a strange object tied to his belt that looked like a weapon the Jedi used in the Star Wars movies. His coat was black and had a strange white design on the right side of it. This man was in his thirties perhaps but his hair was pure white. He glanced down at Rex with narrow grey eyes.



?So you are the young man my children rescued from the Changer. To think a simple training mission turned to rescue mission for my kids. I am sure you have a few questions brewing in your head. I am King Zeke how may I be of service?? The man seemed to be confident enough but could he really explain all the things Rex needed to ask?

?Uh? You?re the king? So Kali is a? Princess? You actually let your daughter wield a sword? How bizarre!? Rex shook his head and then spoke again, ?Yeah I have a few questions? What in the hell is going on here? Where the hell am I??

?Interesting language to be using with a King in your presence? I sure hope you didn?t speak like this to my daughter.? The man had a strict tone in his voice.

?No sir? When she was here I was still thinking I was dreaming.?

?Very well Sir Rex? To tell you the truth I tend to use language like that myself. Anyways You are not dreaming I am afraid? The Changer Nuria brought you here? you would have to ask her yourself to find out why??

?Where is she then??

?Oh my no! I recommend against going to see any of the Changers? They are rogues living out in the Mountains of Valcose. They are thieves and dangerous people.?

?Fine then? Where is Kira?? Rex asked suddenly remembering Kira had also disappeared.

?Um? I believe if she is not here she is with the Changers.? The king seemed to not be as helpful as Rex had hoped.

Rex sighed, ?Recommend all you want but that means I need to go there? I need to get my friend back if they are as bad as you say!?

The king frowned. ?If you must then you need some guides who know the land and have some battle skills as well. I believe I have the two best people for the job right outside. Blaze? Ryu please come here.?

To people came in. A girl named Blaze and a boy named Ryu. The girl was wearing a brown shirt with black long sleeves. This shirt and the black pants as well were extremely tight fitting. She had boots that were black a white. She carried no weapons. She had deep dark brown eyes and a strange line tattoo off to the side of her left eye. The boy was wearing black pants and a black shirt. Over that he was wearing a creamy white trench coat that fell down to his ankles. His hair was down to his shoulders and it was quite silver. He had narrow green eyes but what was the strangest of all was the small red gem that was im his forehead. He carried a large black sword on his back.

?You called for us your majesty?? Blaze asked bowing slightly.



?Yes? This boy here will need your guidance through the Mountains of Valcose? I have no time to even tell him what he needs to know and no patience to tell him how he should not go see the Changers.?

With the mention of the Changers Ryu and Blaze looked at each other nervously. ?Yes sir. We can do this task you ask of us.? They said together.

?I would normally not permit him to go but I have no time to argue. Plus he has a friend that is possibly in he grips of the Changers and he wishes to retrieve her. I take my leave.? With that King Zeke left the tent.

?Sheeesh Ryu? Think we should go back there?? Blaze said pacing a hand on her hip.

?I don?t know? They think we are Traitors but and Order is an Order.? Ryu said glancing at Rex.

?Can either of you two answer my question!?? Rex shouted suddenly.

?Depends on what your question is cutie.? Blaze said smiling.

?Where in the Hell am I??



?Such a vocabulary? My kind of guy!? Blaze laughed but Ryu kept a straight face.

Ryu let out a snort, ?You are in the World of Alteron. You should have a weapon if we are to be going into the mountains.?

?Because of the Changers right?? Rex said after thinking on the name of the place.

?No? The king and all the royals might think the Changers are a bunch of ruthless murderers and thieves they are not!? Ryu said like he was insulted.

?Ryu! You shouldn?t tell him!? Blaze said and realized saying that was telling him even more. ?Oops??

?Might as well.? Ryu said shrugging, ?Me and Blaze are also Changers? Please keep this information to yourself for if they were to find out we would be killed instantly.?

Rex nodded, ?I don?t know what to believe but seeing as you have the sword I wont say a word.?

?Blaze go and get me a simple weapon for this guy.? Ryu commanded and Blaze shrugged and left the tent in search of a suitable weapon for the boy.

?I have no clue how to handle one of those things.? Rex said pointing to Ryu?s sword.

?You wont be getting one like this.? Ryu said glancing at the sword strapped to his back.

?Any thing like that I can hardly handle.? Rex said? he fiddled with his piercing with his tongue. Ryu looked curious at the bar through Rex?s tongue.

?What exactly is? that??

?Oh my? Its called a Piercing. In my world?? Rex shook his head, ?Did I just say my world? Anyways People get pierced? It?s a jewelry kind of thing. People pierce their ears, their noses, their lips, their tongues, belly buttons, eyebrows, and even their more eh private parts if you know what I mean? They take this thing and jam a needle through the skin and put the ring thing through that. Its hard to explain.?

?Lord that sounds quite painful?? Ryu imagined getting a piercing in a more private place than on his own tongue, ?Your people must be very crazy.?

?Most are?? Rex said smiling.

Blaze walked in with a small short sword that looked more like an overly long dagger, ?Its all I could find?

?That will have to do.?

?If you guys are changers? What can you change into?? Rex suddenly asked not to interested in the sword that Blaze had just handed him.

?Uh? ? Blaze smiled and looked at Ryu who nodded, ?I can change into all kinds of things. Most Changers can only take one form but I can do many. I can change into a hybrid of up to four different animals? though I normally stick to hybrids of two because hybrids of four are very difficult.?

Ryu nodded, ?I on the other hand can change into any color or type of dragon? And when I have no energy for such forms I can change into small reptiles. Now that you have your sword? Let us depart. The Mountains of Valcose is quite a ways ride from here.?

?What are we riding?? Rex asked.

?Wingless Dragons??

?Wow? Sounds cool? A real dragon!?

Ryu raised an eyebrow, ?Do you not have dragons in your world??

Rex laughed, ?Hell no! They are Myth where I come from? All you ever see are drawings of what people think look like dragons. I think I?m beginning to like this place??

?Your world sounds like an extremely strange place.? Ryu shook his head and helped Rex to his feet. ?We must go soon or we wont get there by sun down.?

?Alright? Kira? here we come!?

Blaze and Ryu suddenly looked at each other as if he had said something extremely bad.

?What??

?Oh nothing? Lets go.? Blaze said quickly.

[left]?Ok? Man this is so hard to believe? Though I guess it would be pointless to argue.? Rex said and followed them out of the tent into a small little camp in the middle of a desert. He then whispered loud enough so only he could hear, ?Ill find you Kira? Just you wait? I?m coming for ya!?[/left]

[center][color=black]END OF CHAPTER ONE[/color][/center]

[left][color=#000000]It may lack some detail or might go to fast... But this is just my first try at the idea. I have made an RPG off of this idea as well but this is the original idea. The rpg is simple a "Five years later" Kind of thing. I apologize for its length...[/color][/color][/size][/left]

[GuyYouMetOnline]

Not bad for a first chapter. Most of the opening chapters I've read are pretty boring, but that was pretty good.

There is one thing I think you should change, and that's Rex's reaction to finding out he's in a new world. He seems to have accepted this very quickly, and that's not very believable. I mean, if you were in his position, you wouldn't be so quick to accept all this impossible stuff. I know I wouldn't be. I'd probably never accept it (well, maybe after a few years I would, but certainly not after a few minutes). My suggestion is simple: change Rex's reaction to everything that's happened, making it more believable.

[Frankie]

[QUOTE=Takuya]Not bad for a first chapter. Most of the opening chapters I've read are pretty boring, but that was pretty good.

There is one thing I think you should change, and that's Rex's reaction to finding out he's in a new world. He seems to have accepted this very quickly, and that's not very believable. I mean, if you were in his position, you wouldn't be so quick to accept all this impossible stuff. I know I wouldn't be. I'd probably never accept it (well, maybe after a few years I would, but certainly not after a few minutes). My suggestion is simple: change Rex's reaction to everything that's happened, making it more believable.[/QUOTE]
I understnad that His reactions a bit unbeleiveable but i was going to tell you why in Chapter two... Lets just say this new world aint so new to him.

But I understnad what your saying. Ill think about changing that.

[GuyYouMetOnline]

I'd like to read some more of this story. Any idea when you''ll have the next part up?