On Getting Older

[future girl]

[size=1]Now that my birthday has come and I'm officially on the edge of my teenage years I've gone ahead and started worrying about getting old. I'm 19, 20 is just around the corner and once 20 hits those years just start slamming into you, just like those responsibilities... and the wrinkles :/ In truth, I would have loved to stop at 17, just barely legal. It's becoming less and less acceptable not knowing exactly what I want to do with my life and soon any childish behaviour will peg me as a bum or a bum in training. It's odd, I view myself as an independant person. I pay for my own schooling, I cook my own meals and clean after myself. I'm not so much afraid of being left to my own devices because for the most part I was left to my own devices when I turned 15. It's that right now it's okay to be a sales clerk at some boutique, but in a couple of years that'll just be pathetic. I guess it's a fear of failure. To me it seems the older you get the narrower the path to sucess becomes. It's a pretty scary thought, amounting to nothing.

So I suppose the question I wanted to pose to all of you was if you think you've got it down already and that age ain't nothing but a number that can be dominated and tamed. Or if you're lost and flailing about hopelessly like some fish out of water. Or perhaps, you're just in between?[/size]

[wrist cutter]

I'm not worried about leaving any sort of "legacy". What does it matter if I work as a clerk or I'm some manager in an office? As long as it pays the bills I'm not entirely concerned with the "image" my job puts forth. Most people won't view it as "success" but how successful are most of the jobs people have anyway? Nobody's going to remember you 10 years after you're dead most likely anyway.

So I'm not concerned at all with following the path to success, and I expect to amount to nothing.

[Panda]

Number one thing on my list is: Happy Birthday anatema!! May all your birthday wishes come true. You so rock.

Now, as for getting on in years. I have 10 years on you, I am 29 with [b]30[/b] right around the corner. When I was younger I felt the same way. I felt completely lost. Like a fish out of water. I didn't know for sure what I wanted to be when I "grew up". While all my other friends knew they were going to be doctors, teachers or lawyers I actually started college with no major in mind. Fate lead me to pursue a career in vet med. I always loved animals but never did I say I would make a career out of it. Owning pets yes, career no.

After I got out of college and into my career I thought I had it all figured out. Huzzah! I had life by the horns! I was totally in control. Then I got sick and ended up back to where I was when I started college. Back to being completely lost. What made this time worse was I now have a mortgage to pay! Oh bother. But you know, I am ok with that. I know some how things will work out just like they did when I was younger. Things may be tough but making it through all those tough times is what makes us who we are. Riding this crazy roller coaster is what life is all about. Ups, downs, twists and turns...enjoy the ride. And like a roller coaster sometimes life pukes on us. You may not like it but you are going to have to deal with it.

I guess at this point in my crazy life I am right in between. I don't feel completely lost and frantic or like things are smooth sailing. You on the other hand have already been taking life by the horns anatema. There is nothing life can throw at you that you can't handle. There is no way you will end up "amounting to nothing". You have already been working, going to school and caring for yourself for years. This shows you are a determined and responsible person. That is something no one can take away from you.

Age for me really doesn't play a factor in how I feel life is going. No matter what your age, if you have the right attitude you will find success in life. I think experiences shape more of my feelings about life than any of my birthdays ever have. I also feel that success in a career does not always translate to success in life. I think a blue collar worker who is happy and kind has a better life than a stressed-out mean white collar worker.

I just take life as it comes, the good and the bad.

[IceWolfEyes]

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[future girl]

[size=1]I don't want some amazing career or a truck load of money, well actually yes I do, but it's not a real goal in life to have a truck load of money. I honestly don't think there's anything I have to tell the world, I have no legacy to leave behind. My fear in getting older is that as time passes you kinda start moving farther and farther away from life and dreams become regrets. I'm afraid that I'll never be able to say "I did what I wanted with my life." Upto this point, I've only done what I had to do. I've chickened out at the last minute of something I wanted with the entirety of my being because it was way too risky. I wouldn't mind working as a store clerk, if it was what I wanted to do. But I want to be a writer and God, can I get any closer to starving artist. That is starving artist, heh. But how many people get to say that they did what they wanted to do with their lives? I don't want to not be able to say that.[/size]

[Pumpkin]

[quote name='anatema][SIZE=1']I don't want some amazing career or a truck load of money, well actually yes I do, but it's not a real goal in life to have a truck load of money. I honestly don't think there's anything I have to tell the world, I have no legacy to leave behind. My fear in getting older is that as time passes you kinda start moving farther and farther away from life and dreams become regrets. I'm afraid that I'll never be able to say "I did what I wanted with my life." Upto this point, I've only done what I had to do. I've chickened out at the last minute of something I wanted with the entirety of my being because it was way too risky. I wouldn't mind working as a store clerk, if it was what I wanted to do. But I want to be a writer and God, can I get any closer to starving artist. That is starving artist, heh. But how many people get to say that they did what they wanted to do with their lives? I don't want to not be able to say that.[/size][/quote]

[FONT=Verdana][SIZE=2][i]I know exactly how you feel. I'm 17, and its actually not whats cracked up to be. I've been counting the days until I'm 18, hey more freedom right? wrong it also means I'm going to have to figure out what I want to do with my life. It's scary, and sometimes I'd like not to think about it and want to be younger. It's childish I know, but I do feel like a fish-out-of-water already, and I've only had a few simple jobs. I'm scared of failer, maybe because my parents expect that of me, and I have so many people I need to prove to that I can actually do something. So theres alot of pressure on that part.

There is college, and having to figure out what I'm going to take and such. This year has been pretty stressful, and even though people say turning 18 is wonderful, I'm actually beginning to dread it. I'll finally be considered an adult, which is not too far away. I can't wait to move out, thats the only thing that I'm really looking forward too. The best thing I can say is, always try for things your interested in, so that you dont regret it. I know I quit dancing, and I've regretted it ever since. Instead of saying "Oh I could have done that..." I've learned its never too late to start again. I've seen 50 year olds go back to college, anything is possible. So next year I'm signing up for a Hip Hop Dance Class and getting back to my passion of dance...even if It has been years since I last stepped into one.[/i][/SIZE][/FONT]