Writing Cut So Thin [PG]

[Guest Sean]

[SIZE=1]Here I am again, lying in a bed. So closed and isolated, but comfortable, like life is a tumbling wrecking ball heading towards me, but I have the protecting I need to take the pain away. That protection is you, your all I need in my life now, but you?re leaving. Leaving forever, and I?ll be stripped off that protection, and that wrecking ball will have full impact. That impact knocking everything that is right from myself, knocking love, knowledge, responsibility and understanding out from my body. I?ll be left with nothing, as soon as your hand leaves mine.

Then it happens, your hand slips out of mine, and I feel it, that wrecking ball of hatred hitting me, knocking me down. And you leaving me forever, but is it really forever? Of course it is, but without you I?m cut so thin, I have nothing left. But you won?t come back, you can?t, you have your own life and I have mine. Were we always meant to be, or am I just to walk alone on this path of light and life. But the light isn?t what it was, dulled now that you?re gone, darkening with every step I take.

Each step making me more isolated than I was before, pushing me down into the ground, forcing me back into the forest of despair. I fight against the unseen, unfelt force, but it isn?t working. And the feeling of hate grows on me again. Why did you leave? Letting me fall to the ground, breathless and hated. Hated for what? Nothing. Nothing is what I am to you, but you loved me, what happened? What changed to make you leave so quickly? Nothing again. Nothing changed. Apart from you.

Stay with me, don?t let my heart bleed, dripping these drops of love. Keep with me, I just want to hold onto your hands, so soft and welcoming. But I?m just a stranger next to you, but I can?t talk to you when you?re gone. Air is what occupies the space that was left of your former self. Picking up and going was the last thing I could cope with. Now all alone is what I am, breaking under the pressure of not having you in my life anymore.

Devoted to your touch, which I can?t feel anymore, you?re away, what can I do? Your everything to me, and to you, I?m just a memory.[/SIZE]

[Retribution]

I like how you expressed your feelings about your (I'm assuming) girlfriend leaving you, and how if she does, you'll be devistated. But sometimes, this one gets a little tired in parts. When you keep on beating around the bush about how you feel. I could predict what the rest of the writing was going to be after the first paragraph.

And I understand how you feel; with your girlfriend changing and growing apart from you. And you don't want her to get too far away, or you'll be destroyed. Good job, I likes...

[B]8.3/10[/B]