Writing A Metroid idea I have.

[Roxas]

Ok. This is just an idea and I would like to know what you guys think about it. Negative critisism accepted. And also note that this doesn't revolve around Samus Aran. It is based in about 200 years in the future of Echoes. (Dont know exact year.) Also I am thinking about making this into an rp for the adeventure square.

On the planet Delta Earth*, the humans that in habit the planet, have discovered a new technological breakthrough. They have gained new technology allowing them to recreat the legendary varia suit that was made by the Chozo. They have made hundreds upon hundreds variations of the Varia suit. They are currently making a new army to deal with their enemy, the Yun.

The Yun are an ancient alien race that have the ability to phaze in and out of our natural time-space, rendering them invisible, and invulnarable. They have long been at each others throats always attempting to annihilate the other. The Yun, however has found out about the humans plan to make their 'super army' and have undergone research of their own.

They have found a gene that allows not only the ability to warp out of the time-space continum but also the ability to jump through lightsapce**, thus they have been geneticaly altering newborns to have this gene. They plan to train them to be able to harness this gene's capabilities and create the most invulnrable army in the universe.

Now as the two races attempt to put their plans in action, a new factor caomes into the equation, their sun is just about to colapse. Knowing this both races start to prepare themselves for the most horrible thing that has happened to them since they found the other, the end of thier home worlds.

* Delta Earth- An Earthen collonie that was created in case anything happened to Earth. This collony, along with Beta, and Omega Earth came in to function when the Ing*** found and conqured Earth.

** Lightspce- Lightspace was created by the Yun when they were wondering the galaxy in search of a home. As a result there is now a network of lightspace 'roads' to and from all the other inner planets of their solar system.

*** Ing- The Ing is an evil race of creatures that were let loose on our dimension when a huge comet struck Aether. The resulting explosion from the comet opened a dimensional rift between Aether and its twin Dark Aether. Unlike Aether, Dark Aether's air is poisonous; its water, acid; and lastly everything that was nice, is now completly evil. The Ing have the ability to take over a host body and improve its defensive, offensive, and tactical abilities in combat.

So... what do you think? Also note that this is only the begining of it and I have more than this, but I want to see how the Proluge works out.

[M.Ali]

:babble:[color=green][font=trebuchet ms] I thought it was pretty good, given the proper name it could attract a lot of people...[/color][/font]

[Soliel]

[COLOR=GREEN]I don't know much about the story line in the Metroid games, but your story seems pretty cool. :D [/COLOR]

[Roxas]

Ankthay ouyay eoplepay. Translation... Thankyou people. Anyways, does anyone else have any thoughts, questions, or commments?

[icexfire]

wow...i have not a clue but i like the storyline..very creative ^_^ anyways that is all i will say..i have not a clue about metroid except that it is a game that has been around since my dads time...lol
[font=Verdana][/font]
[font=Verdana][size=1][color=red]Welcome to Otakuboards, Icefire. Please try to improve your post quality. At OB, we encourage very clear and coherant posts; correct spelling, punctuation and grammar is a must. I suggest you take a look at the [url="http://otakuboards.com/rules.php?#spam"]rules[/url], paying particular attention to the 'Incoherant/Sloppy Posts' portion. ^.~ -- Lady Asphyxia[/color][/size][/font]
[font=Verdana][size=1][color=#ff0000][/color][/size][/font]
[font=Verdana][size=1][color=#ff0000][/color][/size][/font]

[Brasil]

Just so I understand this...we have a technologically-enhanced human army fighting an invisible and invincible race of deadly monsters? Eh...seems pretty cookie-cutter to me. The humans have copied the Varia Suit design and have made "hundreds upon hundreds" of upgrades? What kind of variations? What kind of upgrades? Hundreds of them? It's too wide. Narrow it down a bit (a lot).

I like the idea of a Federation (the humans in Echoes) colony on a distant moon whose sun is about to collapse (though, honestly, I'd research that a bit, because I'm pretty sure there's more to a sun dying than just a collapse), but I don't feel that the "OMFG these aliens are totali goin 2 destrouy us!11!!" conflict is entirely convincing, or would provide a believable or appropriate conflict. It just seems too contrived.

Really, I think if you took a look at Pitch Black, you'd get a better idea of how the story would work better, because I notice traces of Pitch Black already, but the non-Pitch Black stuff is kind of half-baked and bland.

I mean...how many times do we really need the whole "indestructible aliens that can travel at the speed of light, time-travel, and are going to kill us all" concept?

The Ing are already well-established threats, and the Federation has already had contact with them on Aether...why not continue that idea on another planet, where you could concentrate solely on the Federation vs Ing, and wouldn't have to worry about Samus?

As it stands now, the Yun aren't developed properly enough to be taken seriously; they just scream "cliche."

[Roxas]

Yeah... I wasn't even thinking about Pitch Black when I thoguht of this. But that movie was so awesome it may have affected my sub-conscience(sp?). Anyways, I guess it could still use some (alot) of work. Thanks for your suggestions.

[Brasil]

And, you know, it just occurred to me, that given what you're looking to do here...why not just cut the Yun out all-together, base the story on Aether, and center it around the Federation troops fighting off the Ing and Space Pirates?

It could be a bit of Pitch Black, a bit of John Carpenter's The Thing (the Ing and the Thing are pretty similar in terms of approach), have a hint of Aliens...if the concept and execution are handled properly, it'd work really well.

Now that I think about it, that would have some real potential, especially if you nail the aesthetic fundamentals of all four franchises (Metroid Echoes, Pitch Black, The Thing, Aliens).

[Roxas]

Great idea! But I've never heard of or seen The Thing. But I have seen both John Carpenters: Vampiers and Los Muertos(sp?)