Writing the eye (poem) [T]

[Mitch]

Well, here it is again, with the rating I forgot (my apologies).

I'd like an analysis of what the poem means to you. As well as what you think is good or bad about it, and how I can improve what is bad about it.

[quote]my irises are green envy
a circular forest of jealousy
trees reaching toward the light
with rooted legs, barked branch hands

my pupils are black and empty
and nothing,
a black hole, desolate
and bleak
they are the night sky
of the forest

i think i see fire
somewhere in the distance
a passionate, choking flame
sputtering on its own fumes,
a dancing lunacy
eating foliage to its irascible,
incensed, mouth
this fire has determination
from the oxygen it breathes
and frustration hangs on the leaves
as fall comes, withers the land
and forces them to fall

a fire is inside,
it must be extinguished daily
or this forest making color
will die and vision fade to black
and trailing plumes
it must be fed, held back

if you look,
some days i might have devil eyes
burning at you
that's when i need release
some days my trunk might have horns
spiny pricks that stick on you
and that's when i need release [/quote]