Writing WETA Live-Action Evangelion Movie 1 Script [PG-13-VSL]

[EVA Unit 100]

Script©2005
[U]Birth of Evangelion[/U]

THE MOVIE OPENS WITH A SCENE OF ANTARCTICA. THE CAPTION ?AT THE TURN OF THE NEW CENTURY? IS AT THE BOTTOM OF THE SCREEN AND SLOWLY FADES AWAY. CUT 3 TIMES BETWEEN THIS SCENE AND ADAM FALLING DOWN TO EARTH. AFTER THESE CUTS, ADAM FALLS ONTO A LAB IN ANTARCTICA AND EXPLODES IN A GIGANTIC MESS. SNOW AND ROCK FLIES EVERYWHERE AND ANIMALS AND BOATS GET CRUSHED. THE CAMERA ZOOMS OUT TO SHOW THIS BEING SHOWN ON A GIANT SCREEN NERV TV THAT GENDO AND FUYUTSKI ARE WATCHING.

FUYUTSKI:
The Second Impact. What a tragedy. Billions of people are being killed right now due to our scientific meddling. Gendo, does this mean that the Human Instrumentality Project is done for?

GENDO:
No. It has only begun.

CUT TO A 1 1/2 MINUTE OPENING CREDITS MONTAGE SHOWING THE CREATION OF UNIT 00 TO THE MUSIC OF ?THE CRUEL ANGEL?S THESIS?. AFTER THE MONTAGE, CUT TO UNIT 00 FIGHTING SACHIEL. THE CAPTION ?15 YEARS LATER? POPS UP AND FADES AT THE BOTTOM OF THE SCREEN. SACHIEL?S KOA SENDS A BLAST THAT KNOCKS OUT UNIT 00. CUT TO REI IN INTENSE PAIN INSIDE UNIT 00. CUT TO NERV HEADQUARTERS.

RITSUKO:
Unit 00 has been defeated by the 3rd Angel! We need backup!

GENDO:
There?s no point in backup. The girl will live.

RITSUKO:
She never deserved to live in the first place! She?s just your tool! Your needless tool! You knew you were going to have The Third Child anyway, why did you need to make that thing?

GENDO:
The Third Child was useless. Just plain useless. The Second Child is stationed in America, and The Fourth and Fifth Children haven?t been assigned. Let us just see how the results of the battle turn out before we send anyone to pick up The Third Child.

RITSUKO:
We already have someone sent!

CUT TO SHINJI WALKING DOWN THE STREET. SUDDENLY THE STREET EXPLODES BIT BY BIT. MISATO QUICKLY DRIVES BY, GRABS SHINJI, PULLS HIM INTO THE CAR, AND JUST MANAGES TO DODGE THE EXPLOSIONS BY A SECOND.

SHINJI:
Who are you?

MISATO:
The name?s Misato Katsuragi. I work for your father?s organization.

SHINJI:
What the- You are my father?s agent? I didn?t know he picked workers with such huge-

MISATO:
What!?!

SHINJI:
Um, resumes. Nothing sexy, nothing to do with female chest organs, just resumes.

MISATO:
You?re gonna have a huge resume soon.

SHINJI:
That?s just sick!

MISATO:
Since when was getting hired to a secret organization sick?

SHINJI:
Oh, so I?m really getting a job, not what I was, um?

MISATO:
You think I have nice curves, don?t you?

SHINJI:
Well, er- No way!

SACHIEL?S ARM IS ABOUT TO SMASH THE CAR.

SHINJI:
Quick! Make some nice curves!

MISATO DRIVES LIKE WILD AVOIDING SACHIEL?S ARM. SHE DRIVES THE CAR INTO AN ELEVATOR. THE ELEVATOR GOES DOWN UNDERNEATH THE EARTH?S SURFACE. SACHIEL REACHES INTO THE ELEVATOR BUT MISATO DOES MARTIAL ARTS ON IT, THROWING SACHIEL UP INTO THE AIR AND FALLING DOWN ONTO THE GROUND.

MISATO:
Wow! Smart move- What?s your name?

SHINJI:
Ikari. Shinji Ikari. And please, I am not that smart at all.

MISATO:
You know, we have a lot in common, Shinji.

SHINJI:
No, we don?t. My father chose you, yet he banished me. How could you know what it?s like to live without anyone who cares, without a purpose, just simply living?

MISATO:
Believe me, we have more in common than you know.

THE ELEVATOR COMES TO A STOP AT THE FLOOR OF THE EVA ENTRY PORT. MISATO AND SHINJI EXIT THE CAR AND THE ELEVATOR. GENDO IS STANDING IN FRONT OF THEM.

GENDO:
It?s the kid. I never thought I would need to see this happening.

SHINJI:
Father?

GENDO:
Please. I am not a father of mortals. I am a father of Gods!

THE WALL IN THE BACK OF THE ROOM RISES TO REVEAL UNIT 01.

SHINJI:
Aah! A giant robot!

GENDO:
Do not worry; it will not harm you. At least as long we can keep it under our grasp.

MISATO:
This robot is one of the Evangelions. We need you to pilot it to save the city. Shinji, remember that huge creepy-looking thing that was trying to attack us?

SHINJI:
Yes.

MISATO:
That thing was an Angel. Where they come from, we do not know. Why they came, we cannot say. All that?s important is that you kill that thing with the Evangelion by penetrating its force field-like shield, the AT Field. Once you break through, stab the round ball on its chest, the KOA, and your mission is complete.

SHINJI:
But why are we fighting the Angels? Why must I be the one to pilot the Evangelion?

MISATO:
No time to discuss; questions later. I?ll go get you your plugsuit and then you?ll get into that Unit 01 entry plug and kick some Angel ass!

GENDO:
Major Katsuragi, there is no need to activate Unit 01 just yet.

MISATO:
But Unit 00 is under way too much damage to fight!

GENDO:
OK, I?ll activate Unit 01. Now send the Marduk Advisory Board to assign The Third Child.

MISATO:
Your son is The Third Child!

GENDO:
I have no son. Besides, we already have a pilot on our hands.

UNIT 00?S ENTRY PLUG IS EJECTED AND LANDS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROOM. REI STRUGGLES OUT OF THE ENTRY PLUG, BLEEDING.

GENDO:
She can take it.

SHINJI:
I guess what you?re saying is?

GENDO:
Just get out of here, you useless Third Child.

MISATO:
Shinji, you have a choice whether you?ll pilot EVA or not!

SHINJI:
It?s OK. I?m fine with rejection. I?ll go off, back to the old apartment where my teacher looks after me. It isn?t Heaven, but it isn?t Hell. It?s just a place where I can be, and I?m safe there.

MISATO:
Fine. I?ll bring you back to your apartment on the surface. I just want you to have the chance to have a real home, unlike me after the Second Impact. And with the Third Impact likely to occur sometime soon, your situation may just get even worse than my own.

SHINJI AND MISATO GO ON THE ELEVATOR TO THE SURFACE.

SHINJI:
What is this Second Impact you speak of?

MISATO:
You?ll be learning about it in school. No need to hear about it from me.

SHINJI:
But it matters so much to you! What happened?

MISATO:
Nothing.

CUT TO SHINJI AT HIS TEACHER?S APARTMENT.

SHINJI:
Teacher, tell me about the Second Impact.

TEACHER:
Well, 15 years ago, back at the turn of the New Century, a meteorite hit Antarctica. It caused shifting of the tides, then great floods and windstorms, and in the end a third of all life on Earth was killed. Since then we?ve rebuilt our great civilization, hoping that a theoretical Third Impact, which would lead to humanity?s end, will never occur.

CUT TO SCHOOL. SHINJI, TOJI, AND KENSUKE ARE SITTING AT A DESK.

TOJI:
Man, this class just plain sucks! Why can?t we do something interesting for a change?

KENSUKE:
Yeah, like army clubs or maybe some dances!

TOJI:
Believe me, you?ll get a date for a dance the day science class becomes fun!

SHINJI:
That?s funny, I find this astronomy unit very interesting. In particular, I want to learn about meteorites. Do you think any meteorites will collide with Earth sometime soon?

KENSUKE:
No, it can?t happen. The Second Impact displaced Earth?s orbit so much that it would take eons for the comic alignment to allow a dust speck to hit Earth!

TOJI:
Hurrah, Sargent Nerd strikes again!

KENSUKE:
Hey! At least I had the guts to look up the new girl?s skirt!

SHINJI:
That?s odd. I haven?t seen any new students here today.

TOJI:
She?s stuck in the nurse?s office. Blue hair, cold eyes-

KENSUKE:
And one awesome butt!

SHINJI:
Wait. I know her. I saw her at the organization. She was bleeding from piloting that EVA. If I go down to the nurse?s office I might be able to find out about what really happened in the Second Impact and what will happen in the Third!

TEACHER:
Shinji! The Second Impact was caused by a meteorite! There won?t be a Third Impact! Do not go down to the nurse?s office!

SHINJI:
Yes.

TOJI:
Do you always have to do what you?re told?

SHINJI:
Yes.

TOJI HITS SHINJI IN THE STOMACH.

TEACHER:
Toji! How terrible behavior! I?ll make sure that Prefect Hikari gives you a detention! Shinji, please go to the nurse?s office!

SHINJI:
Yes.

CUT TO SHINJI IN THE NURSE?S OFFICE STANDING NEXT TO REI?S BED. REI IS EXTREMELY BANDAGED.

REI:
Hello, Third Child. I saw you when I fell into NERV, didn?t I?

SHINJI:
Yes, you did see me. NERV is my father?s place, isn?t it?

REI:
Yes, it is.

SHINJI:
Do you know about the Second Impact?

REI:
Not much. The reasons it happened are beyond human control. All I can tell you is that it wasn?t a meteorite that caused it. It was an Angel.

SHINJI:
You mean that creature you were fighting out there will cause the Third Impact and destroy the world?

REI:
Perhaps it will destroy the world. Perhaps it will create a world reborn. Either way, it will do what it will do if it isn?t stopped.

SHINJI:
That?s terrible!

REI:
Is it? You know, I always wondered what it would be like to return to the Sea from which we came from, to start everything over again.

SHINJI:
I have no time for this psychobabble! My father said he was a father of Gods! If he wants humanity to evolve into divine beings than how could we have time to go into a sea or something and become monkeys? Piloting that EVA could make my father?s plan work, and then he might respect me a bit. I could be a brother of Gods or something! That Angel needs to be stopped!

SHINJI PICKS UP THE PHONE.

SHINJI:
But what if my father still doesn?t want me? What if all my feelings are a jest to my father? The Angel could be destroyed without me. You could get better, and if there?s a Third Child there must be a Second. This is pointless! My life is pointless!

REI:
You who is called Shinji, you can make a choice! I, however, can?t.

SHINJI:
Why can?t you?

REI:
We?re all part of a plan, and my part of it is to follow Gendo?s orders.

SHINJI:
Wait! If you are one of Gendo?s servants, do you know what he has to say about me?

REI:
He says that he will give you a second chance. If you can prove yourself worthy, you may go on to be the official pilot of EVA Unit 01. There is no going back. You?ll endure great pain and suffering, but you?ll please him. And that seems to be all that matters to you.

SHINJI DIALS A NUMBER ON THE PHONE.

SHINJI:
Hello? Shinji?s speaking! Misato, send me the next subway to NERV!

CUT TO SHINJI AT THE FLOOR OF THE EVA ENTRY PORT.

GENDO:
You?ve returned. Now for your test. Once you enter the Evangelion Unit 01, your job is to defeat the Angel Sachiel. After you inhale the LCL fluid, you?ll be able to synch with the EVA and mentally control all of its actions. Weapons will be controlled via joystick. If you can defeat the Angel, then you will be able to become a full-time pilot. Understand?

SHINJI:
Yes, father.

GENDO:
Good. Before your mission, I think it would be a smart idea to introduce the people who will be backing you up.

GENDO TURNS ON VIDEO MESSAGING WITH NERV HEADQUARTERS.

GENDO:
There?s Administrator Ritsuko Akagi?

RITSUKO:
Nice to meet you, Shinji.

GENDO:
Lieutenant Maya Ibuki?

IBUKI:
Hello.

GENDO:
Makoto Hyuga?

HYUGA:
Hi.

GENDO:
Shigeru Aoba?

AOBA:
Yo.

GENDO:
Commander Koza Fuyutski is currently busy having a conference with SEELE, the international corporation that created NERV, and I know you know Major Misato Katsuragi.

MISATO:
We?re behind you all the way Shinji!

GENDO TURNS OFF VIDEO MESSAGING.

GENDO:
And now for the main attraction.

SHINJI GOES INTO THE ENTRY PLUG. THE ENTRY PLUG SLIPS INTO UNIT 01. UNIT 01?S CONSTRAINTS ARE REMOVED. CUT TO INSIDE THE PLUG. SHINJI BREATHES IN THE LCL. CUT TO OUTSIDE THE PLUG WHERE UNIT 01 IS SENT UPWARD TO THE SURFACE OF TOKYO 2. UNIT 01 RUNS UP TO SACHIEL. SACHIEL?S KOA SENDS A BLAST TO UNIT 01?S ARM. CUT TO INSIDE THE ENTRY PLUG WHERE SHINJI IS GRASPING HIS ARM IN PAIN.

SHINJI:
I mustn?t run away! I mustn?t run away! I mustn?t-

CUT TO OUTSIDE WHERE SACHIEL HITS THROUGH UNIT 01. BLOOD LEAKS OUT FROM UNIT 01. CUT TO INSIDE THE ENTRY PLUG WHERE SHINJI IS SCREAMING. CUT TO OUTSIDE WHERE UNIT 01 PULLS OUT A GUN AND SHOOTS SACHIEL. CUT TO NERV HEADQUARTERS.

MISATO:
Great move!

CUT TO OUTSIDE WHERE UNIT 01?S ROBOTIC SHELL STARTS CRACKING. CUT TO NERV HEADQUARTERS.

RITSUKO:
That wasn?t Shinji?s move!

HYUGA:
Oh-no!

IBUKI:
Synch ratio is failing! All of the systems are breaking up! We are loosing contact with the pilot.

AOBA:
Of course we are. He?s unconscious!

MISATO:
How crappy could it get!?!

CUT TO OUTSIDE WHERE SACHIEL CREATES AN AT FIELD. UNIT 01 RIPS THROUGH THE AT FIELD AND STABS SACHIEL WITH A PROGRESSIVE KNIFE. SACHIEL EXPLODES. BLUE BLOOD SPLATTERS ALL OVER THE PLACE FROM THE EXPLOSION. CUT TO SHINJI IN THE ENTRY PLUG. SHINJI REGAINS CONSCIOUSNESS, ONLY TO SEE THE EYE OF UNIT 01, SCREAM, AND FAINT. CUT TO SHINJI WAKING UP IN THE HOSPITAL SURROUNDED BY GENDO, MISATO, AND RITSUKO.

SHINJI:
What happened?

RITSUKO:
That is top-secret business. Even you, an authorized personnel of NERV, cannot be told the secret information.

SHINJI:
I saw an eye, and I felt like I had become nothing, and- Wait, I?m a member of NERV now?

MISATO:
You bet! The EVA pummeled that Angel and saved the day!

GENDO:
Wait, Major. He has a choice.

SHINJI:
Piloting the EVA was painful. The worst I?ve ever felt in my life!

GENDO:
Do you wish to continue this heavy responsibility? Rei Ayanami, The First Child, has healed. It?s up to you.

SHINJI:
Will it make you proud if I pilot Unit 01?

GENDO:
Perhaps.

SHINJI:
Then I?ll do it!

MISATO:
Good! Every day after school you will come to NERV for training. In case of another emergency Angel attack, we?ll alert you and you?ll be brought here immediately to pilot Unit 01.

SHINJI:
Good! I?ll have to go tell my teacher!

MISATO:
Teacher? You?ll be living with me from now on!

GENDO:
Please, Major. The boy can live on his own if he likes. It?s his choice.

SHINJI:
If Misato thinks I would be of assistance to her, I would be proud to live with her.

MISATO:
Then come with me to your new living quarters!

CUT TO MISATO AND SHINJI WALKING BY THE REMAINS OF TOKYO 2.

SHINJI:
I don?t understand. The Angel had destroyed the buildings of Tokyo 2 way before I even got up there!

MISATO:
Hah! Those buildings were merely a shield. Nobody lives there now. This is the real city.

MISATO PRESSES A BUTTON ON A STAND. TOKYO 2 SPLITS IN HALF. THE HALVES MOVE AWAY FROM EACH OTHER. FROM UNDERNEATH, THE BUILDINGS OF TOYKO 3 RISE UP.

MISATO:
This is where you?ll be living. This is the city you saved. This is New Tokyo 3!

SHINJI:
I guess I?m not that bad off after all!

CUT TO MISATO?S HOUSE. SHINJI IS SCRUBBING THE TABLE.

SHINJI:
I guess I stand corrected!

MISATO:
I guess you?ll be doing the chores for the next workweek, then I do them on the weekend, and then if an Angel attacks we just the leave the house alone and let dirt build up for you to clean double the next day! Then I get a cleaning day after that, and then we revert to the normal routine. OK?

SHINJI:
O-

SHINJI SNEEZES.

SHINJI:
I guess I agree.

MISATO:
You know, you agree too much. I guess I always wanted a personal slave, but you?re just crazy. And they call you a man!?!

SHINJI:
Hey! I?m only a kid.

MISATO GRABS SHINJI?S CHEEKS.

MISATO:
Yes you are a little kid! Now go get the dishwasher!

SHINJI BANGS HIS FIST ON THE TABLE AND PUSHES MISATO BACK.

SHINJI:
I am not a kid!

MISATO:
OK, girly man!

SHINJI:
You are such a pain!

MISATO:
Good! We disagree about something. I guess you are a real man after all.

SHINJI:
I agree completely!

MISATO:
Girly man!

SHINJI:
Just shut it!

MISATO:
OK! Geez, what?s with you kids nowadays?

SHINJI:
Not a kid!

MISATO:
Oh, whatever. Just get me a beer. I think I keep my beer on the top shelf of the fridge. No, actually it?s on the bottom shelf. Or maybe on the central left of the middle shelf.

SHINJI OPENS THE FRIDGE TO FIND BEER EVERYWHERE. HE THROWS BEER CANS ALL OVER THE HOUSE.

SHINJI:
OK! You have your beer! First alien Angels, then giant robots, now alcoholic secret agents! What?s next for me this week? Super-intelligent penguins?

PEN-PEN GETS OUT OF THE SHOWER.

MISATO:
I would like you to meet your new roommate Pen-Pen!

PEN-PEN WRITES ?E=MC2? ON A CHALKBOARD NEAR THE TABLE. SHINJI FAINTS.

MISATO:
What?s with him?

CUT TO SCHOOL.

KENSUKE:
Did you see that Evangelion fight yesterday?

TOJI:
How could you not have? It was on all of the TV stations! TV Tokyo got complaint mail saying the broadcast was too violent to air when kids might be watching, though.

KENSUKE:
Wasn?t it awesome how the EVA broke through that Angel?s AT Field, and then stabbed it with its knife? I think it?s called a Saber Knife!

SHINJI:
Actually it?s called a Progressive Knife.

TOJI:
Wait! How the hell would you know that?

SHINJI:
Well, I sort of want to keep it down, but I?m the pilot of EVA Unit 01.

EVERYONE IN THE CLASSROOM STOPS WHAT THEY?RE DOING AND STARES AT SHINJI.

KENSUKE:
Tell us more! How did you get the job? What kind of training did you have to go through? How do you control the EVA? These Evangelion robots must be the greatest weapons since the invention of the gun!

TOJI:
Is that what you believe?

TOJI PUNCHES KENSUKE.

TOJI:
Shinji Ikari. The great Shinji Ikari. What makes you so great anyway?

SHINJI:
Well, nothing really?

TOJI:
You pilot an Evangelion. That?s why people think you?re so great. Well tell me, what did you do inside the robot?

SHINJI:
Well, I can?t really tell if it?s a robot or not. Now that I think about it, I don?t know what it is!

TOJI:
It?s a monster. That?s what it is! The explosion of the Angel sent out radioactive rays around the city.

SHINJI:
Nobody lives there!

TOJI:
That?s what they want you to think! Did you even consider people living in the radius of the area? The blue liquid sent out from the explosion poisoned my sister. She?s now in the hospital. I hope she?ll live, but the doctor doubts that. She?ll die! And you killed her!

SHINJI:
It was an accident!

TOJI:
Oh, the pilot boy thinks he?s so great that he didn?t need to know what the hell he was doing! You still are causing her to die! Did you hear me!?! Because of you, she will soon die!

SHINJI:
Please, if you understood what happened, then-

TOJI:
I understand! You killed her! And I?ll kill you!

TOJI BEATS UP SHINJI.

KENSUKE:
Toji, all soldiers kill at least some innocent people. Go easy on the damn kid!

TOJI:
Never!

AN AT FIELD APPEARS AROUND SHINJI. TOJI BREAKS HIS HAND HITTING THE AT FIELD.

TOJI:
So you?re trying to kill me, eh? Well, take this!

TOJI BREAKS HIS OTHER HAND HITTING THE AT FIELD.

KENSUKE:
Oh, my god! Shinji?s created an AT Field!

HIKARI:
An AT Field?

KENSUKE:
You know, an Absolute Terror Field! It?s the force field created by the Angels and the EVAs! And now, it seems that Shinji has created one!

SHINJI:
I didn?t do it! It must have been something else!

TOJI:
I knew it! You?re as bad the beast you pilot! I might as well call NERV so they?ll kill you! And don?t worry for us students. We?ll be prepared this time! We?ll be the pilots!

HIKARI:
If you do that, I?ll have to give you double detention to all of the students!

TOJI:
Fine! Then I?ll do it myself!

KENSUKE:
Toji, you don?t want to become a murderer! Then you?d turn into what you most hate!

TOJI:
I?m fine with that! At least I?ll know what I?m doing!

SHINJI:
You don?t know what you?re doing! In order to pilot an EVA, you must be able to synch with it properly!

TOJI:
Who cares about that junk! I?m going for it! And none of you can stop me!

REI:
No. Don?t hurt Shinji. He is just another human being like yourself. He had no control over what happened to your sister.

TOJI:
I?ll deal with you later.

REI:
Please excuse me; I have some important work to attend to.

REI WALKS OUT OF THE CLASSROOM.

HIKARI:
You?re still getting detention!

TOJI RUNS OUT OF THE SCHOOL. CUT TO THE NERV ELEVATOR. TOJI RUNS TOWARDS THE ELEVATOR. LASERS SHOOT AT HIM BUT TOJI DODGES THEM. TOJI GETS INTO THE ELEVATOR, CONTINUALLY AVOIDING THE LASERS BEING SHOT FROM THE TOP. CUT TO CENTRAL DOGMA. UNIT 00 IS BEING TESTED ON. UNIT 00 WALKS THROUGH A GIANT TANK. UNIT 01 BREAKS INTO THE TANK AND STABS UNIT 00 IN THE CHEST WITH A GUN. UNIT 00 RUNS UP TO ATTACK UNIT 01. UNIT 01 STABS UNIT 00 WITH A PROGRESSIVE KNIFE. CUT TO THE SURFACE. A GIANT EXPLOSION OCCURS. PUPRLE BLOOD FLIES EVERYWHERE FROM THE EXPLOSION. UNIT 01 LEAPS OUT OF THE GROUND AND AWAY FROM THE EXPLOSION. UNIT 01?S ENTRY PLUG IS EJECTED. TOJI WALKS OUT OF THE ENTRY PLUG IN FRONT OF THE REMAINS OF THE SCHOOL.

TOJI:
See? I showed you all! You are all going to die because of the explosion! How do like your blue poison now?

KENSUKE:
We weren?t splattered by blue poison, just blood. Admittedly slightly purple blood, but nothing poisonous!

TOJI:
Then why did the poison come from the explosion the first time?

KENSUKE:
What caused the new explosion?

TOJI:
Well, that?ll take a bit of explaining.

A POLICE CAR DRIVES UP THE REMAINS OF THE SCHOOL. KAJI WALKS OUT OF THE CAR AND POINTS A GUN AT TOJI.

KAJI:
Kid, you?re under arrest! Tell me, what exactly did you do to cause the destruction of EVA Unit 00?

TOJI:
It wasn?t my fault. It was the damn machine! It enveloped my body and took control over my brain!

KAJI:
OK. It?s a good thing you didn?t intentionally do the attack, because you knew there was a human inside Unit 00.

TOJI:
Who was it?

KAJI:
A girl. Rei Ayanami. Moderate height, blue hair, nice posterior, and I think she might be a student at your school.

TOJI:
The new girl! She pilots that thing!?!

KAJI:
Yup, and I?m afraid she?s stuck inside the head of the destroyed Unit 00. We won?t be able to get her out. I would shoot you?

KAJI PUTS AWAY HIS GUN.

KAJI:
But seeing this is the fault of EVA Unit 01 and not of yourself, I?ll just go to SEELE and tell them to abort all continuation of the Human Instrumentality Project. It?s not like anyone wants those monstrous EVAs running around, killing those whom we pray for, those who pray, and even themselves in the process. Goodbye, kids!

KAJI GETS BACK INTO THE POLICE CAR AND DRIVES AWAY. CUT TO THE MEETING AT SEELE. KEEL IS GIVING A SPEECH ON STAGE.

KEEL:
Attention guests of SEELE! We have received reports that the EVA Unit 01 has recently taken a boy captive, taken control of his mind, and massacred another unit, with the unit?s pilot stuck inside it for an indefinite period of time. How can we have these monsters be our hope for the future?

FUYUTSKI RAISES HIS HAND.

KEEL:
Yes?

FUYUTSKI:
The EVAs are the only way we can defeat the Angels. Nothing else can rip through their AT Field!

KEEL:
Fuyutski, you can?t fight fire with fire.

FUYUTSKI:
But water is in small supply! We can?t set out the fire without loosing all the water we got! However, a hybrid of fire and water would kill all lone fires!

KEEL:
But what becomes of the water?

FUYUTSKI:
All water would become part of the hybrid! Water and fire would unite to become kings!

KEEL:
But unity takes a long time. The only way the wildfire won?t destroy the water we have left is for the water to evaporate into vapor.

FUYUTSKI:
But the cycle would take forever! And what about individual droplets? Water comes in various qualities, Mr. Keel.

KEEL:
OK, then. So how do we put out the fire? Why, we send the acid rain!

THE CURTAIN IN THE BACK OF THE ROOM RISES TO REVEAL JET ALONE.

KEEL:
Behold Jet Alone, a new breed of mechanical fighter! Able to walk through walls! Doesn?t take up any power! No pilots required! If this can?t defeat the Angels, I don?t know what can! Fuyutski, you and your NERV crew have one week before the Human Instrumentality Project is shut down. If you can?t make the EVAs 100% safe by the end of the week, Jet Alone is activated, and say goodbye to all your hopes and dreams!

FUYUTSKI:
My only dream is one we share: that when God?s in his Heaven, all is right with the world.

FUYUTSKI WALKS OUT OF THE BUILDING.

KEEL:
I think the two of us have different definitions of the word ?God?.

CUT TO SCHOOL.

KENSUKE:
So the new girl was really the pilot of Unit 00? That comes as a shocker! What do you think of her now, Toji?

TOJI:
I think I set her mind straight. I tell you, she may be pretty but she is whacked! Recently I was her study partner in philosophy class and she was actually researching philosophy! How could any teen right in the head do that?

KENSUKE:
Yup, she?s a weirdo!

SHINJI:
Hey! Sure she seems a bit unusual, but I don?t like you talking about her like that!

KENSUKE:
I get it! Shinji has a special someone!

SHINJI:
I do not!

KENSUKE:
Shinji and Rei sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

SHINJI:
I do not like Rei Ayanami that way!

KENSUKE:
Then why are you so defensive?

SHINJI:
I don?t know! I just feel something odd around her. It isn?t attraction, it isn?t love, well it sort of is love, but it?s not a crush or anything. I haven?t felt this way since I was 3. It?s just something.

TOJI:
Well, you ain?t seeing her any time soon! I certainly showed that EVA pilot! I?m much better at piloting Unit 01 than you are! No poison here, just harmless blood and nothing else! They should?ve chosen me as the Third Child! It?s as if I?m some sort of beast tamer! I?ll be the very best like no one ever was! Too catch them is my real test, to train them is my cause! I?ll battle across the land, searching far and wide, taking it all in to understand the power that?s inside!

KENSUKE:
Still watch little kids? anime, huh? You need to outgrow all that fantasy! Now let us talk about real issues, like aliens and robots!

TOJI:
Like Shinji?

SHINJI:
What? I?m not an alien or a robot! Are you still upset about the AT Field incident? I keep telling you! It wasn?t me!

TOJI:
Then who else could it be?

SHINJI:
I don?t know! All I know is that it was someone. Someone trying to protect me. You know, if it?s true that good people who die go to Heaven, is it possible my mother is an Angel, trying to make sure I?m safe?

TOJI:
Stop thinking that bull!

HIKARI:
Toji, triple detention!

TOJI:
Just shut it!

CUT TO NERV HEADQUARTERS. THE MAGI ARE MONITORING SHINJI?S SYNCH RATIO WHILE HE?S INSIDE THE ENTRY PLUG. FUYUTSKI ENTERS THE ROOM.

RITSUKO:
Commander Fuyutski, I see you have returned from your meeting at SEELE.

FUYUTSKI:
It?s nice to see you again, Ritsuko. Sorry I came back 3 days late, but we were delayed quite a bit due to some bad news. You know about the tragedy of Unit 00, right?

RITSUKO:
What?s so tragic about it? We still have another pilot on our hands, two if Kaji?s ready.

FUYUTSKI:
Admin, you don?t understand what this means to the Human Instrumentality Project. If we can?t fix up EVA Units 00 and 01 to be completely safe by Friday, the entire operation is over! Humankind will revert to the Sea, and in a world cleansed of sin you might not know Gendo.

RITSUKO:
If I didn?t know Gendo, then I don?t know what I would do! Fine, the EVAs will be adjusted, but I?ll be in charge of it all! Shinji, I think we should finish early today.

THE LCL EMPTIES FROM THE ENTRY PLUG. SHINJI EXITS THE ENTRY PLUG. HE GOES INTO THE CHANGING ROOM AND WALKS OUT IN HIS REGULAR CLOTHES.

SHINJI:
Ritsuko, my father seems to mean a lot to you. Is it possible that the woman I saw die here back when I was 3 wasn?t my mother? Are you my mother?

RITSUKO:
No, Shinji, I?m not. If I was your mother would I let Gendo banish you like he did?

SHINJI:
Oh, so you?ll be my stepmother?

RITSUKO:
Gendo isn?t going to marry me.

SHINJI:
Then why the hell are you talking about him the way you do? And why doesn?t Gendo mind when you do so in front of him?

RITSUKO:
Just get out of here, you damn brat! The truth can hurt, you know!

SHINJI:
Um- OK.

SHINJI WALKS INTO THE ELEVATOR AND GOES UP.

RITSUKO:
You know, Fuyutski, some people deserve to go to the Sea. As you say, water comes in various qualities. And I think Unit 01 is in need of a fuel check.

RITSUKO AND FUYUTSKI WALK OFF-SCREEN. CUT TO SCHOOL.

TOJI:
So they?re finally shutting off the EVAs tonight! Good news for all, except for those 8th Grade Angels out there!

SHINJI:
For the one billionth time, I am not an Angel!

TOJI:
So Mr. Yes Guy is saying no to something! How brave! Now that he has a spine perhaps he?s lost the blue poison from his body!

SHINJI GETS IN A THREATENING POSE, PREPARED TO FIGHT.

SHINJI:
Well of course I?m saying no! I just say yes to everything because I never had the chance to learn jack about the world so I need some sort of guide! The only thing I know about is myself and I know that I?m not an Angel so just shut it!

TOJI:
Did it ever occur to you that people could be wrong about the world?

SHINJI:
How could people be wrong about the world? If I?m there to protect the people then they?re on my side and how could they betray one of their own?

TOJI:
Wow! You really don?t know jack!

KEEL (OVER THE INTERCOM):
Attention people of Earth! The 4th Angel Samshel has been located in the atmosphere, expected to collide in a little over a minute somewhere in eastern Asia! Please be reminded that this will be the first activation of Jet Alone, and that none of those terrible Evangelions will be able to fight unless they can be made entirely safe within 12 hours, and if Jet Alone somehow fails you?d all be destroyed by the time the EVAs were ready, if ready at all. Just one more thing: all the EVAs have been linked up to sensors that will cause a red alert if any of them somehow move before the repairs are finished. And now, the final countdown: 60, 59, 58, 57?

A GIANT WIND BLOWS DOWN ALL OF THE WALLS OF THE SCHOOL BUILDING. CUT TO RAMIEL LOOMING OVER THE HORIZON OF THE CITY. CUT TO THE REMAINS OF THE SCHOOL.

TOJI:
Alright! This is where Jet Alone comes in and saves the day!

SHINJI:
Toji, my father was against this entire plan happening! I really think I should go out there and try to operate Unit 01!

TOJI:
It?s always your father this and your father that! Well, if your father is so great, why hasn?t he fixed up the EVAs yet!?!

SHINJI:
He?s not in charge of that, that?s Commander Ritsuko?s job!

TOJI:
Well, maybe that will give you a lesson in betrayal!

TOJI PUNCHES SHINJI ACROSS THE FLOOR. HE FORCES SHINJI INTO A CHAIR AND TIES HIM TO IT.

TOJI:
And now, you can?t go down to your retarded little NERV place! You?ll never pilot an EVA again, beasts won?t merge, and we?ll all be safe, except for maybe you! Now if you excuse you me, I have a battle to watch!

CUT TO RAMIEL BEGINNING TO DRILL THROUGH THE GROUND. PEOPLE ARMED WITH GUNS WALK OUT OF THEIR HOMES, WITH THEIR GUNS POINTED AT RAMIEL. RAMIEL?S KOA SENDS BLASTS IN MULTIPLE DIRECTIONS THAT DISINTEGRATE THE PEOPLE WITH GUNS. CUT TO THE REMAINS OF THE SCHOOL, WHERE EVERYONE IS TERRIFIED.

KENSUKE:
Still hate the EVAs at this point, Toji?

TOJI:
Yes, I do! Just trust me that Jet Alone will come and save the day!

JET ALONE?S SHADOW LOOMS OVER THE REMAINS OF THE SCHOOL.

SHINJI:
Somehow I feel this is going to go exactly as I imagined.

CUT TO JET ALONE SLOWLY RAMPAGING THROUGH THE CITY, CRASHING MULTIPLE BUILDINGS. RAMIEL?S KOA SUDDENLY BLASTS JET ALONE, PUSHING IT ACROSS THE CITY. JET ALONE SUDDENLY PULLS OUT A PROGRESSIVE KNIFE AND RUNS FORWARD, SLASHING BUILDINGS AND THE HEAD OF UNIT 00. CUT TO SHINJI TIED TO THE CHAIR.

SHINJI:
Unit 00!?! But I thought that the EVAs were safe in Central Dogma at NERV!

TOJI:
I guess you?ve learned about betrayal now, huh?

SHINJI:
That wasn?t betrayal! Maybe they just couldn?t recover the head! Maybe I could! Toji, please untie me and I could possibly save Rei! Don?t you see how Jet Alone is a monster?

TOJI:
We?re all monsters! And I?m not letting you go!

SHINJI:
There must be someone who can help me! Kensuke?

KENSUKE IS HOLDING A CAMERA.

KENSUKE:
Sorry I can?t help, but this is a battle I need to get on tape!

SHINJI:
Hikari?

HIKARI:
If I leave them, these stooges are going to do something terrible and worthy of detention!

SHINJI:
God?

TOJI:
You?re just getting desperate, aren?t you?

SHINJI:
If anyone here is desperate, you are! Just look at what your hate for me is doing!

CUT TO JET ALONE CONTINUING TO SLASH BUILDINGS. JET ALONE STARTS TO SLASH THE HOSPITAL. CUT TO TOJI IN TEARS.

TOJI:
If Shinji doesn?t stop that robot, then my sister will die for sure! I better go and untie him!

TOJI TURNS AROUND TO UNTIE SHINJ. CUT TO JET ALONE HALFWAY THROUGH SLASHING THE HOSPITAL. JET ALONE SUDDENLY DEACTIVATES. ITS PROGRESSIVE KNIFE FALLS THROUGH THE HOSPITAL FLOORS. JUST BEFORE IT FALLS ONTO TOJI?S SISTER, MISATO GRABS IT. CUT BACK TO THE REMAINS OF THE SCHOOL.

TOJI:
Well, that went well. I guess I have no reason to untie you now.

MISATO RUNS UP TO THE REMAINS OF THE SCHOOL.

MISATO:
I am the reason!

TOJI:
Wowza! You work with this lady?

SHINJI:
Yes, but she?s loud and annoying and leaves her clothes lying around the house and stinks really bad and drinks too much beer and has a psycho pet penguin and?

TOJI:
How can that be!?! Between her and Rei I?m starting to get the feeling your father made NERV just to meet buxom women with severe personality disorders!

SHINJI:
Nobody says that about my father! He doesn?t think like that!

TOJI:
How would you know anything about how people think?

MISATO:
Shinji, now that I?ve deactivated Jet Alone, we need to you to come pilot Unit 01! Don?t listen to all that bull Ritsuko will have to say, just remove those sensors and save the day!

TOJI:
Don?t untie Shinji! He?s a freakin? Angel, for crying out loud!

SHINJI:
No, I?m not!

TOJI:
Who do you believe, me or the AT Field man?

MISATO PULLS A KNIFE OUT OF HER POCKET AND POINTS IT AT TOJI?S NECK.

MISATO:
Listen to me, you little bastard! I need the kid to save your ass! Just let me take him! And if you don?t let me, I might take your life as well!

TOJI BACKS UP.

TOJI:
You?ve won this time, Angel boy, but you?ve got some explaining to do when you get back from the fight, and if you don?t, this beast tamer will become a beast killer!

MISATO CUTS SHINJI?S TIES. SHINJI RUNS AWAY.

SHINJI:
Thank you, Misato!

MISATO:
Any time!

HIKARI:
You?re getting detention for this!

CUT TO SHINJI RUNNING TO THE ELEVATOR TO NERV. JUST BEFORE HE GETS ON RAMIEL STARTS DRILLING INTO THE ELEVATOR. BARELY DODGING RAMIEL, SHINJI JUMPS INTO THE ELEVATOR. SHINJI SEARCHES FOR THE BUTTON THAT LEADS TO CENTRAL DOGMA.

SHINJI:
Central Dogma, Central Dogma, damn! I don?t see any button that leads to Central Dogma!

SHINJI HITS THE ELEVATOR, WHICH SUDDENLY SPEEDS DOWN TO CENTRAL DOGMA.

SHINJI:
Of course! They had a secret button for a secret place! Central Dogma, here I come!

SHINJI RUNS OUT OF THE ELEVATOR. RAMIEL?S DRILL IS STILL STUCK IN THE ELEVATOR. CUT TO RITSUKO WITH A GIANT VACUUM IN FRONT OF UNIT 01.

RITSUKO:
OK, I?ve fixed the restraint armor. Now for the oil change.

RITSUKO TURNS ON THE VACUUM AND PLACES IT IN UNIT 01?S PLUG. THE GHOST OF YUI STARTS TO FLOW FROM THE PLUG INTO THE VACUUM. SHINJI RUNS INTO THE ROOM.

RITSUKO:
What the-

SHINJI GRABS THE VACUUM FROM RITSUKO AND PULLS IT AWAY FROM THE PLUG. THE GHOST OF YUI GOES BACK INTO THE PLUG. SHINJI PUTS THE VACUUM NEAR THE SENSORS. THE VACUUM SUCKS UP THE SENSORS. SHINJI TURNS OFF THE VACUUM. HE WALKS INTO AN ENTRY PLUG. CUT TO NERV HEADQUARTERS.

AOBA:
Well, so long NERV. I guess we could just have one more drink before the end of it all.

IBUKI:
Wait, I?m getting a movement reading! It says that the 5th Angel Ramiel has entered Central Dogma!

HYUGA:
I?m getting some other unidentified readings as well!

MISATO WALKS INTO THE ROOM.

MISATO:
Ladies and gentlemen, I think we have an unexpected surprise on our hands!

UNIT 01 JUMPS THROUGH THE FLOOR AND UP THE SURFACE. UNIT 01 PULLS RAMIEL?S DRILL OUT OF THE ELEVATOR AND PUNCHES RAMIEL ACROSS THE GROUND. RAMIEL?S KOA SENDS A BLAST TOWARDS UNIT 01. UNIT 01 QUICKLY LEAPS AWAY FROM THE BLAST AND RUNS UP TO JET ALONE?S REMAINS. IT PULLS THE HEAD OF UNIT 00 OFF THE PROGRESSIVE KNIFE AND STARTS TO PULL THE SENSORS OFF UNIT 00?S HEAD. RAMIEL SUDDENLY ZOOMS UP UNIT 01?S HEAD AND BEGINS TO DRILL. UNIT 00?S HEAD BEGINS TO MELT. UNIT 01 FINALLY PULLS OFF THE SENSORS FROM UNIT 00?S HEAD. JUST BEFORE RAMIEL?S DRILL MELTS A HOLE THROUGH UNIT 00?S HEAD, UNIT 00?S HEAD RISES INTO THE AIR AND THE REST OF ITS BODY REGENERATES ITSELF. UNIT 00 FALLS BACK DOWN TO THE GROUND. CUT TO SHINJI INSIDE UNIT 01 COMMUNICATING WITH REI.

SHINJI:
Rei, you?re all right!

REI:
Of course I am. The sea carried me, and?

SHINJI:
We have no time for this! Let?s just do this thing!

REI:
As you wish, Third Child.

CUT TO OUTSIDE AS UNITS 00 AND 01 PUSH RAMIEL AWAY. RAMIEL IS PUSHED INTO THE SKY AND EXPLODES. BLUE BLOOD FLIES OUT FROM THE EXPLOSION. CUT TO UNIT 00 AND 01?S ENTRY PLUGS BEING EJECTED. SHINJI AND REI WALK OUT BACK IN FRONT OF THE REMAINS OF THE SCHOOL.

KENSUKE:
Yahoo! You did it, Shinji! You beat that Angel! The Angel was all like ?zoooom!!!?, and you were all like ?riiiiiiipppp!?, and then you and Rei sent that Angel back to the sky from where it came!

TOJI:
Meh, he was only doing it for his ?you-know-what?! Had it been any of us unsexy students, we wouldn?t stand a chance at surviving the Angel! And when I say unsexy, I mean by Shinji?s standards of who is and isn?t sexy, because believe me, ladies: when I say I?m sexy I?m really sexy!

KEEL (OVER THE LOUDSPEAKER):
We may soon begin the countdown to when the Angel Samshel hits the area of Old Tokyo 2!

SHINJI:
What the- Didn?t I destroy that Angel?

REI:
Samshel was the 4th Angel. What just attacked was Ramiel, the 5th Angel.

KEEL (OVER THE LOUNDSPEAKER):
10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1! Have a nice end of the world, kids!

SHINJI:
Quick! I musn?t run away! I must save the kids!

SHINJI JUMPS INTO UNIT 01. SAMSHEL FLIES TOWARDS THE REMAINS OF THE SCHOOL. UNIT 01 GRABS SAMSHEL BY ITS LIGHTSABERS AND THROWS IT INTO AN ELECTRIC WIRE. SAMSHEL IS ELECTROCUTED AND EXPLODES. BLUE BLOOD FLIES OUT FROM THE EXPLOSION. CUT TO THE REMAINS OF THE SCHOOL.

TOJI:
Wow! He actually did it! He saved me, his sworn enemy, from that thing! Maybe I?ve misjudged Shinji! Maybe he was right all along! Afterall, his dad?s a mad scientist so he must be fairly smart!

SHINJI JUMPS OUT OF UNIT 01.

TOJI:
But I still want to know the answers! What will happen to my sister? And what?s the deal with the AT Field?

SHINJI:
Maybe I could take you to NERV! They?ll answer all of your questions.

SHINJI AND TOJI RUN AWAY.

HIKARI:
All of you, quadruple detention!

CUT TO NERV HEADQUARTERS. MISATO IS WALKING TOJI AND SHINJI THROUGH.

MISATO:
At the turn of the New Century, the international organization SEELE created its NERV branch in Asia to help further their projects to help mankind. A few years later, NERV was shaken up by the Second Impact. That meteor stuff you?ve learned in school? Bull! What really happened was the collision of the 1st Angel Adam with the South Pole! The NERV team was killed, outside of lucky survivors Gendo and Yui Ikari, Naoko Akagi, and Koza Fuyutski, and most of them weren?t even that lucky. Since then, NERV?s goal is to create technology to save the Earth from the attack of the Angels. Our greatest achievement: The Evangelions!

TOJI:
Those damn monsters! They hurt my sister with their blue poison!

MISATO:
That ?blue poison? was actually the blood of the Angels.

TOJI:
It?s not poisonous, is it?

MISATO:
Of course it isn?t poisonous! In fact, recent studies seem to show that the one difference in DNA that separates humans from Angels is the color of the blood.

TOJI:
What about the number of eyes and the giant ball thing in the middle?

MISATO:
Sorry, that?s top-secret business.

TOJI:
I suppose the secrets of the AT Field are top-secret as well.

MISATO WHISPERS INTO TOJI?S EAR.

TOJI:
You mean I?ll find out then?

MISATO CONTINUES WHISPERING INTO TOJI?S EAR.

TOJI:
Oh, when SEELE is ready with Unit 03!

SHINJI:
What are you two talking about?

TOJI:
Nothing that has any effect on you. All that matters is that I know you?re not half bad for a damn crybaby! I?ll try to listen to you at school from now on. I could even make you part of my gang of stooges if you wish!

SHINJI:
But didn?t I hear something about a new EVA? If Unit 03 is already being made, what about Unit 02? Commander Keel said that all of the current EVAs had been attached to sensors. I might have saved 00 and 01, but what about 02?

MISATO:
Oh, crap!

CUT TO UNIT 02 FIGHTING GAGHIEL IN THE ATLANTIC OCEAN. ALARMS ARE SOUNDING OFF EVERYWHERE. UNIT 02 STABS GAGHIEL?S KOA WITH A PROGRESSIVE KNIFE. GAGHIEL EXPLODES. BLUE BLOOD FLIES OUT FROM THE EXPLOSION. THE BLUE BLOOD FLOWS UPWARD ONTO UNIT 02 AND DRIES UP. SHIPS PULL UP TO UNIT 02. MULTIPLE MEN RUN UP TO TRY TO CAPTURE UNIT 02, BUT EVERY MAN WHO TOUCHES UNIT 02 DIES. A HELICOPTER FLIES OVERHEAD AND GRABS UNIT 02 WITH A NET. CUT TO RITSUKO TURNING THE MAGI BACK ON.

RITSUKO:
Turning the MAGI computers back on is very emotional for me.

MISATO:
What?s so emotional about turning on some old computers?

RITSUKO:
It?s about my mother. The MAGI system was the product of her life?s work. She programmed the three aspects of herself into the three computers: herself as a scientist, a mother, and a woman. I have hardly any chance of having kids so I don?t know if she was a good mother, but I know that I respected her as a scientist. However, I hated her as a woman! She was just so cruel and sick that I could barely stand her! And yet here I am, in control of her Triple Goddess. And as long as I have to face the MAGI, I have to face her. Turning back on the MAGI is turning back on a part of myself. A part of myself I hate so much!

RITSUKO PULLS A GUN OUT OF HER POCKET AND POINTS IT AT HER HEAD.

MISATO:
No! Don?t kill yourself, Ritsuko! Yeah sure, you can be harsh, and mean, and violent, and perverted, and the worst damn freaking coworker I ever had, but if Gendo?s Instrumentality Project works out we?ll all be brought closer to God! Your sins could become commandments! Everything will turn out good in the end!

RITSUKO DROPS HER GUN.

RITSUKO:
I?ll give you that one, Misato. Gendo is a good man. A very, very good man. Even my mother saw that in him. And I see it even more. But since when am I the worst damn freaking coworker you ever had!?! Why do you always have to insult someone before uplift them!?!

MISATO:
Duck!

RITSUKO:
Why!?!

THE WALLS OF NERV HEADQUARTERS SHATTER INTO A MILLION PIECES AS THE HELICOPTER BURSTS THROUGH NERV HEADQUARTERS WITH THE NET CONTAINING UNIT 02. MISATO AND RITSUKO DUCK DOWN. UNIT 02 IS RELEASED FROM THE NET. NERV HEADQUARTERS BEGINS TO MELT. UNIT 02 STRUGGLES TO MOVE ITS ARM. THE BLUE POISON BURNS THROUGH UNIT 02?S CHEST. UNIT 02 THEN MOVES BOTH ITS ARMS AND VIOLENTLY SCRAPES THE BLUE BLOOD. THE BLUE BLOOD FLOWS OFF OF UNIT 02 AND FLOWS INTO THE MAGI.

IBUKI:
I?m receiving radiation signals of another Angel. It seems to be somewhere?

AOBA:
In NERV!

MISATO:
Funny, I don?t see anything! There was that blood on Unit 02, but I don?t see anything now!

AOBA:
It?s called Iroul! It has taken the form of a computer virus!

RITSUKO:
And the computer it?s attacking is the MAGI!

MISATO:
Wake up The Second Child from inside Unit 02, or send over one of the other children!

RITSUKO:
No need. If there ever was an Angel I could defeat, it would be this one! It may shut off one part of me, but if Gendo has taught me anything it is that sacrifices must be made!

IROUL HACKS THROUGH BALTHASAR. RITSUKO SHUTS OFF BALTHASAR. IROUL HACKS THROUGH CASPAR. RITSUKO SHUTS OFF CASPAR. IROUL BEGINS TO HACK THROUGH MELCHIOR.

RITSUKO:
Now comes the tricky part!

MISATO:
How is it tricky?

RITSUKO:
Remember when I said the MAGI were my mother?s life?s work?

RITSUKO PULLS OFF A METAL PLATE FROM MELCHIOR TO REVEAL NAOKO?S BRAIN.

RITSUKO:
It?s now her life.

IROUL IS HACKING THROUGH NEARLY ALL OF MELCHIOR.

HYUGA:
It?s all over!

MISATO:
Look on the bright side! At least we don?t have what the Angels want!

KAJI WALKS OUT OF THE HELICOPTER HOLDING A GIANT BUNDLE.

KAJI:
Unfortunately, we do!

SHINJI WALKS OUT OF THE ELEVATOR INTO NERV HEADQUARTERS.

SHINJI:
Hello, I?m here for my training.

UNIT 02?S ENTRY PLUG IS EJECTED AND LANDS ON SHINJI?S FOOT. THE ENTRY PLUG OPENS UP TO REVEAL ASUKA PALE, BLEEDING, AND SHRIVELED UP.

SHINJI:
Yikes!

RITSUKO:
Well, here it goes!

RITSUKO PULLS NAOKO?S BRAIN OUT OF MELCHIOR. IROUL DISAPPEARS AND THE MAGI SYSTEM BECOMES UNINFECTED.

KAJI:
Good job, everyone! Ritsuko, you did a job just as beautiful as yourself! Misato, don?t take that too seriously, because I?ll always be in your life! There may even be enough of me for Maya to have! Nice to see you?re still here, Makoto, and Shigeru?s keepin? his cool.

SHINJI:
Wait! I know this guy! He was the one who shut down the EVA project! He?s an agent on behalf of SEELE! Get him out of here!

MISATO RUNS OVER TO SHINJI AND COVERS HIS MOUTH.

MISATO:
It?s OK, Kaji! The poor boy doesn?t know what he?s saying!

KAJI:
It?s OK. I forgive him. All these Angel attacks must be getting to his head, especially if he?s the new pilot, which I assume he is.

SHINJI:
I?m not going mad!

KAJI:
It?s normal to go crazy under the current circumstances. I know about this, having lived through the Second Impact. I even had a job once at a mental hospital for people suffering from Post-Impact Syndrome. By the way, pilot boy, we have another EVA pilot here who I?m sure you?ll be pleased to meet? Oh my God! The pilot! She?s nearly dead! Somebody do something!

SHINJI GIVES ASUKA MOUTH-TO-MOUTH RESUSCITATION. ASUKA WAKES UP AND BACKS UP AWAY FROM SHINJI.

ASUKA:
Who the hell do you think you are!?! You don?t deserve to kiss a girl like me!

SHINJI:
I wasn?t kissing you!

ASUKA:
Well, whatever you were doing it was sick! What are you, stupid!?!

KAJI:
That?s classic Asuka for you! Asuka is the pilot for EVA Unit 02. She came all the way from her home in America to join you!

ASUKA:
I didn?t come to join him! My EVA was just sick! If there?s any fighting I need to do, it won?t be now!

MATRIEL?S LEG STEPS DOWN THROUGH THE ROOF OF NERV HEAQUARTERS.

AOBA:
Well, that went well.

IBUKI:
Are you crazy or are you just sarcastic!?!

AOBA:
Mostly the latter, a bit of the former.

IBUKI:
The 9th Angel Matriel has just made its attack! We need to send a pilot.

ASUKA JUMPS UP AND DOWN WITH HER HAND RAISED.

ASUKA:
Pick me! Pick me! Pick me! Pick me!

MISATO:
Sorry, Asuka, but you aren?t in any condition to fight after you nearly died from Angel poisoning. We?ll have Shinji do it!

ASUKA:
Really? You think that idiot is pilot material?

MISATO:
Marduk has their reasons to why they chose kids to pilot the EVAs.

ASUKA:
Well, whatever those reasons are, at least he can?t do much damage in Unit 01. It?s only a test type, as opposed to my Unit 02, the first true production model for Evangelion line.

SHINJI:
What!?! You don?t think I?m a true pilot!?!

ASUKA:
Everyone knows that robot pilots are of the brave, strong, heroic type, and I know that I?m the brave, strong, heroic type! I doubt Mr. Wineypants McAngst can kick any ass inside the entry plug!

SHINJI:
I can kick ass!

SHINJI RIPS ASUKA?S PLUGSUIT OFF HER BODY AND PUTS IT ON OVER HIS OWN PLUGSUIT.

SHINJI:
In fact, I?ll do it right now!

SHINJI JUMPS INTO UNIT 02?S ENTRY PORT. UNIT 02 JUMPS OUT THE ROOF OF NERV HEADQUARTERS TO THE SURFACE. UNIT 02 PULLS OUT A PROGRESSIVE KNIFE AND POINTS IT TOWARDS MATRIEL. CUT TO SHINJI INSIDE UNIT 02.

SHINJI:
This is my big break. If I can defeat the Angel inside this unit, I?ll be the greatest hero at my school! The greatest hero at NERV! The greatest hero to my dad! If I defeat the Angel, I?ll get rewarded from dad! That would be the greatest thing ever! OK, now I need to focus. I musn?t run away. I musn?t run away. I really, really, really, really musn?t run away.

SHINJI STARTS MOVING UNCONTROLLABLY.

SHINJI:
Wait a minute! I don?t know what the hell I?m doing! I?m supposed to be controlling the EVA, but the EVA is controlling me!

CUT TO OUTSIDE. UNIT 02 IS RUNNING AROUND LIKE CRAZY, SMASHING EVERY BUILDING IN ITS PATH. IT THEN BEGINS TO PULL NEW TOKYO 3 BUILDINGS OUT FROM THE GROUND AND THEN SMASHES THEM. MATRIEL?S LEGS STEP WHEREVER UNIT 02 MOVES. ONE OF MATRIEL?S LEGS EVENTUALLY STEPS ON UNIT 02. UNIT 02 BEGINS TO MOLD INTO MATRIEL. THE ENTRY PORT SLOWLY BEGINS TO CLOSE. CUT TO GENDO AND FUYUTSKI IN CENTRAL DOGMA.

GENDO:
I thought my son could bring me to rule the universe. Now he must bring us to the edge of it.

FUYUTSKI:
Am I seeing what is really happening?

GENDO:
Yes, Commander. The Third Impact is going to begin. At this point in the game you might as well kiss your ass goodbye and fasten your seatbelts. It?s going to be a bumpy ride.

CUT TO NERV HEADQUARTERS.

HYUGA:
The end of the world is going to come!

RITSUKO:
This is all Shinji?s fault! That bastard betrayed us!

MISATO:
He?s not a bastard! Gendo and Yui were a loving married couple before the incident!

RITSUKO:
Yui was a bitch and was never the one for a man like Gendo! Oh, who am I kidding! My mom is still a part of me even without the MAGI! For crying out loud!

RITSUKO GRABS THE SLOWLY ROTTING BRAIN OF NAOKO AND BEGINS TO PUT IT BACK INTO MELCHIOR.

MISATO:
Why are you doing this? Don?t you know you have the chance to kill that brain and get rid of all trace of your mother?

RITSUKO:
Even if I killed it, it would still haunt me. In fact, it would haunt me even more, because if I killed anything, I?d be closer to my mother than you could imagine. Shinji didn?t betray us. I betrayed Shinji! I wasn?t able to control him, but with the brain back inside Melchior, I will be able to.

CUT TO ASUKA LYING DOWN IN THE CORNER OF THE ROOM.

ASUKA:
Damn, all these adults are arguing relentlessly as the universe is about end! You?d think the apocalypse would have happened at this point! Shinji obviously isn?t a good enough pilot a machine as complex and amazing as Unit 02! I should be the one in that EVA! I may be sick, but if I save him, I?m saving myself! I?ll do it!

ASUKA RUNS ONTO THE ELEVATOR.

KAJI:
Asuka, you aren?t in good health! You shouldn?t?

THE ELEVATOR GOES UP TO THE SURFACE.

KAJI:
Oh well.

CUT TO THE SURFACE. UNIT 02?S ENTRY PORT IS ALMOST CLOSED IN. ASUKA JUMPS INTO THE ENTRY PORT. CUT TO INSIDE UNIT 02.

ASUKA:
You idiot! Why did you even think of going in here? It is obvious you can?t pilot a real EVA, let alone without an entry plug!

SHINJI:
But I was able to pilot Unit 01 without a plug once!

ASUKA:
Keep on dreaming! If there?s anyone who can pilot by sheer sync ratio and mind power alone, it would be me, Asuka Langley Soyru! Now if you excuse me, I need to save the world! By the way, nice plugsuit! Makes you look like you?re covering up something of some sort.

SHINJI:
At least I?m not naked!

ASUKA:
Oh, shut up!

A COUNTDOWN FROM 10 TO 1 GOES OFF. CUT TO OUTSIDE. THE ENTRY PORT CONTINUES TO CLOSE UP. JUST WHEN THE COUNTDOWN REACHES 1, UNIT 02 JUMPS BACK FROM MATRIEL. THE ENTRY PORT OPENS UP AGAIN AND THE COUNTDOWN IS CANCELED. CUT TO NERV HEADQUARTERS.

MISATO:
So I guess that no Third Impact will be happening today!

RITSUKO:
Still, I need to make sure the two children are safe.

RITSUKO FINISHES INSERTING NAOKO?S BRAIN INTO MELCHIOR. THE MAGI IS REACTIVATED.

RITSUKO:
Hmm, these readings are getting pretty interesting.

CUT TO THE SURFACE. MELCHIOR CONTINUES TO TRY TO STEP ON UNIT 02. UNIT 02 CHOPS OFF ALL OF MELCHIOR?S LEGS WITH A PROGRESSIVE KNIFE. ONCE ALL OF THE LEGS ARE CHOPPED OFF, THE BODY OF MELCHIOR LEAPS UP ONTO UNIT 02. UNIT 02?S PROGRESSIVE KNIFE STABS MELCHIOR?S KOA AND THE BODY EXPLODES. CUT TO NERV HEADQUARTERS. SHINJI AND ASUKA FALL THROUGH THE ROOF ONTO KAJI. KAJI LETS GO OF THE BUNDLE. THE BUNDLE FALLS DOWN THROUGH THE FLOOR AND THE LAYERS OF THE EARTH INTO A PIT OF LAVA. ZOOM BACK UP TO NERV HEADQUARTERS.

ASUKA:
It was me who made the victory! Never mind the Third Child, I, the Second Child, destroyed that Angel with all of my might! Take that, you stupid Third!

SHINJI:
Asuka, you?ve been naked for the past end-of-the-world and your butt is starting to itch my back! I guess I should give you your clothes back.

ASUKA:
It?s OK. Kaji brought my entire wardrobe all the way to New Tokyo 3! Besides, I think you look pretty good as a transvestite.

SHINJI PINCHES ASUKA IN THE BUTT. ASUKA JUMPS UP, SCREAMING IN PAIN, AND RUNS INTO THE CHANGING ROOM.

KAJI:
Oh, damn it. It seems that something Gendo Ikari desperately needed has fallen into a pit of lava. Someone must recover it for him. Perhaps a very willing EVA pilot. If that EVA pilot could retrieve it for him, it would make Gendo very proud. He would love that EVA pilot forever and ever and maybe father him into the most respected person in the world and anyone who didn?t respect him would be wrong because Gendo?s opinion is the only one that matters.

SHINJI JUMPS INTO THE HOLE IN THE FLOOR.

KAJI:
That?s one down and three to go.

CUT TO SHINJI. SHINJI IS DIVING THROUGH THE LAYERS OF THE EARTH INTO A PIT OF LAVA. HE REACHES TOWARDS THE BUNDLE. AS HE REACHES, HIS FEET BECOME LIQUID AND DISAPPEAR. SLOWLY HIS ENTIRE BODY LIQUIDATES AND DISAPPEARS EXCEPT FOR THE TIPS OF HIS FINGERS. THE TIPS OF HIS FINGERS GRAB THE BUNDLE AND UNWRAP IT. CUT TO THE SURFACE. ISRAPHEL RISES OUT OF THE OCEAN AND WALKS ONTO THE LAND. CUT TO NERV HEADQUARTERS.

KAJI:
So, Misato, want to go out with me for dinner?

MISATO:
Well, I guess I?d go out with you.

KAJI:
You know, we haven?t gotten to see each other since college. Maybe it would be nice if Ritsuko came along too. Then it would sort of be a class reunion.

RITSUKO:
Oh, come on now! You?re too sexy for this to be anything casual! I know that you?re trying to seduce me!

KAJI:
Is it working?

RITSUKO:
Well, you?re nice and cute and all, but Gendo?s the man for me!

KAJI:
Really?

AOBA:
Put a sock in all that romantic crap! The 7th Angel Israphel has finally gotten out of hiding and will attack soon enough!

IBUKI:
Seriously, did you have to ruin the mood like that? I?m not so sure this is even an Angel! Maybe it?s EVA Unit 03 or something!

KAJI:
I did hear that SEELE was just finishing up production on the new model. Maybe we should just let it do its thing.

MISATO:
Are you kidding!?! We don?t even have a Fourth Child assigned yet, and nobody likes it when the EVAs go beserko! It must be an Angel!

HYUGA:
But we are detecting traces of red blood alongside the blue!

IBUKI:
It?s Shinji inside that Angel!

MISATO:
Oh my God?

ASUKA WALKS OUT OF THE CHANGING ROOM IN HER SCHOOL UNIFORM.

ASUKA:
Shinji?s inside the Angel? I haven?t finished pounding him yet! I must go save Shinji!

RITSUKO:
You?re acting baka.

ASUKA:
What?s baka?

RITSUKO:
Baka is the Japanese term for ?stupid? or ?idiot.? Hearing that you were born in Germany, you might know it as ?dumbkoft?.

ASUKA:
Hmm, sounds good. OK! I must save Shinji The Baka! Baka! Baka! Baka! Baka! Baka! Baka! Baka?

RITSUKO:
You can?t do it now! You?re in your school clothes for Pete?s sake!

ASUKA:
You?re baka if you think I?m gonna listen to you! Did you hear me? Baka!?!

RITSUKO:
I think you?ve become in love with a word.

ASUKA:
Screw you, baka!

ASUKA WALKS INTO THE ELEVATOR AND GOES UP TO THE SURFACE. THERE, SHE CLIMBS UP UNIT 02 AND GOES INTO THE ENTRY PORT. UNIT 02 PULLS OUT A PROGRESSIVE KNIFE AND CHARGES TOWARD ISRAPHEL. THE PRGRESSIVE KNIFE SLICES ISRAPHEL DOWN THE MIDDLE. SHINJI FALLS OUT THE MIDDLE OF ISRAPHEL AS A SOLID.

SHINJI:
Wow! You did it again, Asuka! For someone so baka, you really pulled that attack off!

THE TWO HALVES OF ISRAPHEL GROW INTO TWO SEPARATE ISRAPHELS. THE TWO ISRAPHELS FALL TOWARDS EACH OTHER AND ALMOST SMAHS SHINJI. UNIT 02 GRABS A GIANT NET FROM THE GROUND AND CAPTURES THE TWO ISRAPHELS IN THE NET. UNIT 02 SEALS THE NET CLOSED. ASUKA JUMPS OUT OF HER ENTRY PORT.

ASUKA:
Did you call me a baka! You?re the baka here! The most baka baka every to walk this Earth! You are deserving of a double beating to get all of the baka out of you, you big baka-ey baka boy baka!

SHINJI:
Wait a minute! What is that uniform you are wearing? That?s the girls? uniform at my school! Don?t tell me?

ASUKA:
Uh-huh!

SHINJI:
You are going to my school!?!

ASUKA:
Well, of course! Having gone all of the world from Germany to America and now to Japan, I need a nice and cozy place to stay! And that?s not the last of what you?ve seen of Asuka Langley Soyru! I?ll be staying with you at Misato?s room!

SHINJI:
What!?! I?ll have to sleep in the same room as you!?!

ASUKA:
I know! That is just plain sick!

SHINJI:
Then why are you so happy about it!?!

ASUKA:
Because it is sick for you as well! Plus given your apparent mental condition, I can withstand much more stress than you can! You?ll be my personal slave! And you know what? I think you?d be awesome at Spin the Bottle!

SHINJI:
Oh, damn you!

ASUKA BEATS UP SHINJI. FUYUTSKI WALKS UP TO SHINJI AND ASUKA. ASUKA STOPS BEATING UP SHINJI.

FUYUTSKI:
From the looks of it, that net will last about two days before it breaks. You two have some serious training to do if you think you can beat that Angel. And to make sure you two will be serious about it, Master Gendo has arranged for an appointment for the both of you children. Now follow me.

FUYUTSKI WALKS AWAY. ASUKA AND SHINIJ FOLLOW HIM. CUT TO SHINJI, ASUKA, GENDO, AND FUYUTSKI STANDING IN FRONT OF THE FOOT OF GENDO?S DESK IN CENTRAL DOGMA.

[EVA Unit 100]

GENDO:
Part of your requirements as an Evangelion pilot is that you follow all orders. Today, you stupidly?

ASUKA:
You mean baka-ly!

GENDO:
Whatever. You ?baka-ly? disobeyed orders. Between your combined efforts you went into an EVA thrice with neither approval nor an entry plug, one time wearing non plug gear, one time in drag, and another in the nude, being together in one EVA at the same time, being in an EVA you?ve had no sync training with, listening to unapproved orders from a SEELE personnel who had made no consult with NERV, failing to have patience with your NERV commanding officers, harassed each other, cursed at each other, used nonnegotiable violence on each other, escaped Headquarters during work hours repeatedly, calling yourselves superior when in fact you are the most inferior human beings ever to walk this planet, stealing a net that is property of SEELE for personal use, joked about Spin The Bottle, didn?t eat your green vegetables, and all this got Shinji stuck inside an Angel and, according to a phone call I got from Prefect Hikari, both of you in quintuple, no wait? Sextuple detention!

ASUKA:
Did you hear that Shinji? Gendo said a dirty word!

GENDO:
Septuple detention!

ASUKA:
Oh, drat!

GENDO:
Asuka, you?ve now heard your punishment. You may go to your living quarters at Misato?s place in New Tokyo 3. As for my son, I?d like to have a word with you.

ASUKA WALKS OUT OF CENTRAL DOGMA.

SHINJI:
Wow. You actually did it.

GENDO:
Did what?

SHINJI:
You called me your son. I guess I must have done something good then. Something that made you proud!

GENDO:
Maybe you did. Maybe you didn?t. Either way, this is going to be our last discussion for a long time.

SHINJI:
Why?

GENDO:
Shinji, I realized that I put you through too much.

SHINJI:
You think that I can?t pilot an EVA?

GENDO:
It?s not that. You?re an OK pilot. Damn OK, in fact. The thing is that this has been an emotionally heavy experience for you. Knowing me, you know another part of yourself. It is a part of yourself that you hate, and yet at the same time you love to smithereens, and you don?t know what the hell to do about that part of you and then when you go through puberty as you are now, it will very soon completely alter what you do with your entire life.

SHINJI:
Is that alteration good or bad?

GENDO:
In most average people, it is good. However, NERV is not a place for average people. You?re a freak of nature, my boy, and in your very, very unusual case it will ruin you for good.

SHINJI:
What are you trying to say to me?

GENDO:
What I?m saying is? Well, the real purpose of this talk is? Umm? You?ve been banished.

SHINJI:
Again? I?m going to have to leave NERV?

GENDO:
You can?t leave NERV. I can?t either. However, there?s something else .You can?t leave Headquarters for good. I can.

SHINJI:
You can?

GENDO:
I can and will.

SHINJI:
Is there any way you could return to the base?

GENDO:
Perhaps, son. Perhaps.

SHINJI:
How would that be?

GENDO:
Follow orders. All orders. Every one you receive. Well, everyone at the base at least.

SHINJI:
But there are liars at the base! Didn?t you tell me that one of the rules that I broke was listening to Kaji of SEELE?

GENDO:
I?ve bugged every operative at HQ electronically. I can communicate with individuals at will and I can instruct him or her on whether their orders are acceptable or unacceptable for your wellbeing.

SHINJI:
I know that I saw Kaji come to the scene of the crime when Toji hijacked Unit 01! He shut down the EVA project and created that Jet Alone thing! How come nobody believes me?

GENDO:
Believe me, Kaji is a man to be trusted. I trusted him with something. Something that was lost to the Earth.

SHINJI:
What was it?

GENDO:
That is none of your business. Now I need to pack up my stuff and depart. I?ve arranged for us to meet again in a few months, on the 11th anniversary of your mother?s death. There, I?ll make my judgment. Please understand that my choice isn?t made exactly for your own good. It is for the good of the world, and that, son, is of the greatest importance. Now I must depart. Fuyutski has packed my bags, right?

FUYUTSKI:
You have all but one of the items accounted for.

GENDO:
Fine. We?ll have Kaji mail it. Now leave, son.

SHINJI:
But there are so many questions I need to ask!

GENDO:
Knowing my work, it is likely all top-secret stuff. Nothing of your interest. So to close the discussion- Well, what I mean is- Good luck, son. Remember, your mother is watching after you in more ways then to you know. She loves you still. And I? Oh, sayonara, Shinji.

GENDO WALKS AWAY, CARRYING HIS SUITCASE.

FUYUTSKI:
It is amazing the depth of the human mind. All of the emotions we feel come from the same source. Both you and your father want more than what you have, when all you really want is the very basics of human existence.

SHINJI:
Father has left. I don?t have anyone there for me. Misato protects me, and NERV backs up my missions, and my school friends are beginning to think that I?m cool, and Rei? I don?t know what to think about Rei, but it just isn?t the same as a real parent. Well, Rei sort of is, but?

FUYUTSKI:
You seem to have strong feelings about this Rei, don?t you?

SHINJI:
Forget about Rei! Oh, what am I to do! I have nothing!

FUYUTSKI:
Believe me, you have more than you ever had in your entire life. Love comes in many forms, Shinji, and home can be found even at the end of the universe.

CUT TO SCHOOL.

ASUKA:
Howdy boys!

TOJI:
Va-va-voom!

ASUKA:
Oh, you don?t need to that! Just sit back, relax, and enjoy the scenery! And get any closer to this piece of work and you?ll be enjoying me in more ways than one!

HIKARI WALKS UP IN FRONT OF ASUKA.

HIKARI:
Asuka, your behavior here is intolerable! One day in and you already are making inappropriate remarks to the male students! Is this what you want kids to think of ?the new girl?? Your detention may have to last yet another month! You won?t be giving any of those boys your type of enjoyment!

ASUKA:
Sorry ?bout that. You know, I make sure to go the Lesbian Pride parade just to support you.

HIKARI:
You?re pushing it!

ASUKA:
No, I?m not.

ASUKA PUSHES HIKARI. HIKARI FALLS DOWN.

ASUKA:
Oops! Sorry, baka!

HIKARI:
You?ll be serving centuple detention now!

HIKARI FAINTS UNCONSCIOUS.

TOJI:
Wow! The new girl sure has assets! Both the front and the back parts! She?s much hotter than our previous new girl!

KENSUKE:
I don?t know about that. Now that she?s been hanging out with Shinji, Rei?s become less weird! Put a real ghost in that shell and you?d end up with some surprisingly sensual results!

ASUKA:
What did you say!?!

THE ENTIRE CLASS TURNS AROUND TO STARE AT ASUKA.

ASUKA:
There?s another?

SHINJI:
Another what?

ASUKA:
You know what I mean!

SHINJI:
No, honestly I do not.

ASUKA:
Who is she?

SHINJI:
Who? Rei?

REI WALKS INTO THE CLASSROOM.

REI:
Sorry that I am late. I don?t know what I was doing. Ah, The Three Stooges are here, as you like to be called. Larry, Curly, and Shinji, I suppose?

KENSUKE:
She still has a few bugs, but she?ll work out.

TOJI:
You won?t have a chance! You know she has the hots for Ikari!

SHINJI:
She does not!

TOJI:
She carries your bags, serves you your lunch, and kisses your knee when you fall down in gym!

SHINJI:
Your mother does all that stuff for you and you wouldn?t go out with her, would you?

ASUKA:
You don?t know this girl, do you, Shinji? Tell me you don?t know her!

SHINJI:
Of course I know her! She?s The First Child!

ASUKA:
A pilot! That makes it all worse!

REI:
Are you defying my destiny Gendo gave me? Because if you are I will have to follow orders and destroy you, hag!

ASUKA:
I hate you already?

REI:
I have never hated anyone.

ASUKA:
Oh, she?s such a bitch! Surely even a baka like Shinji should know that!

SHINJI:
Are you saying you love me?

ASUKA:
I don?t love you! I never loved anyone!

SHINJI:
How could you survive like that?

ASUKA:
Because I rule and you suck! OK? End of story! Goodbye! I?ll see you later for training!

CUT TO SHINJI AND ASUKA PLAYING DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION AT MISATO?S APARTMENT. ASUKA KICKS HER MACHINE OVER.

ASUKA:
This training stinks! Shinji?s following the instructions and doing classical, but I can?t get one break for a little bit of pop!?! This technology is outdated anyway, why the hell are we doing this?

SHINJI:
But my father said that I needed to follow all orders! Perhaps Asuka should try following orders too!

MISATO:
Asuka, you?re wrong! Shinji, you?re wrong! Everybody is wrong! Case closed! Wait, I?m getting a radio message from Gendo? Only Asuka?s wrong!

ASUKA:
Well, at least I?m doing better than someone like Rei ever could at the rhythm!

MISATO:
Well, we saw from the readings during the attack of Ramiel, you two can sync together. You just don?t want to! Let Rei have a turn to see what she can do.

CUT TO NERV HEADQUARTERS.

RITSUKO:
Amazing! Shinji and Rei?s sync ratio on the outdated gaming technology is 100%! The same test done on Shinji and Asuka had only a 15% sync ratio. Asuka, I think you might have to sit out on this mission.

ASUKA:
Aw, do I have to? Please change it! Pleasey-please! Pwetty pweese-pweese whid whip-cweem and a cherwy on top! Pleasey-weasey-weasey-weese!

RITSUKO:
Sorry, but orders are orders.

HYUGA:
Ritsuko! The net containing the Angel Israphel is breaking! We must send the pilots out now!

MISATO:
Go! Go! Go!

SHINJI AND REI GO INTO THE ENTRY PORTS FOR UNITS 01 AND 00. UNITS 01 AND 00 ARE SENT UP THE SURFACE.

ASUKA:
Oh, darn it! These orders suck!

RITSUKO:
It?s OK. I dislike my orders as well sometimes.

ASUKA:
You do?

RITSUKO:
Yes.

ASUKA:
Why do you follow them?

RITSUKO:
Because in the end, I know my work will have made a difference. Let us just see how your fellow pilots end up.

CUT TO UNITS 00 AND 01 DANCING SYMMETRICALLY OFF OF EACH OTHER. THE TWO ISRAPHELS BURST OUT OF THE NET. UNITS 00 AND 01 RUN UP TO THE TWO ISRAPHELS AND PUSH THEM BACK INTO ONE. INVISIBLE SHELLS BREAK OFF OF UNITS 00 AND 01 AND SHATTER INTO PIECES. UNITS 00 AND 01 SUDDENLY FREEZE IN THEIR STEPS. CUT TO NERV HEADQUARTERS.

AOBA:
Our new super-mobility shells we installed in Units 00 and 01 to allow them to make dance-like attacks have broken apart! The only way we can get the EVAs up and running again would be the radiation from an NT Mine!

IBUKI:
The only thing that could possibly control the sheer pressure of an NT Mine would be a Production Model EVA!

MISATO:
I?ve received new orders from Gendo! We need to send out Unit 02 and its pilot!

ASUKA:
Me?

MISATO:
Yes! Now go out and kick ass!

ASUKA:
Perhaps following orders isn?t so bad afterall!

CUT TO THE SURFACE. ISRAPHEL IS SQUEEZING UNITS 00 AND 01. UNIT 02 JUMPS UP TO THE SURFACE HOLDING THE NT MINE. UNIT 02 THROWS THE NT MINE AT ISRAPHEL. THE NT MINE EXPLODES, KILLING ISRAPHEL. BLUE BLOOD FLIES OUT FROM THE EXPLOSION. UNITS 00, 01, AND 02 JUMP OUT FROM THE EXPLOSION AT THE EXACT SAME TIME IN THE EXACT SAME. CUT TO NERV HEADQUARTERS.

RITSUKO:
This is incredible!

MISATO:
What is it?

RITSUKO:
That jump had all 3 EVAs syncing with each other at the same time 100%!

KAJI:
Wow. I guess this means the children are ready for a mission both Gendo and I seriously need done.

KAJI PULLS THE LANCE OF LONGINUS OUT OF HIS BAG.

KAJI:
And I have a special gift for them as well.

CUT TO UNITS 00, 01, AND 02 ABOVE A VOLCANO.

KAJI:
You understand the mission, right? Diving deep below the Earth, you will recover my package that I lost. To recover it, you will use a little tool I borrowed from someone.

KAJI THROWS THE LANCE OF LONGINUS INTO THE VOLCANO. UNIT 02 GRABS IT.

KAJI:
The Lance of Longinus shall come in handy rescuing the package. Now that I?ve said all I can say, just do your thing!

UNITS 00, 01, AND 02 ARE DROPPED INTO THE VOLCANO AND SWIM THROUGH THE MAGMA. UNIT 02 FINDS A BALL THAT LOOKS LIKE THE PACKAGE AND TOUCHES IT. THE BALL LATCHES ITSELF ONTO UNIT 02 AND GROWS INTO SANDALPHON. CUT TO ASUKA INSIDE THE ENTRY PLUG.

ASUKA:
That wasn?t the package! That was an Angel!

CUT TO UNITS 00 AND 01 SWIMMING THROUGH THE MAGMA. THE COME TO THE PACKAGE. CUT TO SHINJI INSIDE THE ENTRY PLUG.

SHINJI:
We found the package! Let?s get it!

CUT TO REI INSIDE THE ENTRY PLUG.

REI:
But we can?t carry the package without the Lance of Longinus.

CUT TO SHINJI INSIDE THE ENTRY PLUG.

SHINJI:
Where is Asuka anyway?

CUT TO SANDALPHON TRYING TO DEVOUR UNIT 02. CUT TO ASUKA INSIDE THE ENTRY PLUG.

ASUKA:
I?m gonna die! I?m gonna die! I guess I might as well say my last words! Shinji, you baka! There! Those were some mighty fine last words.

THE ENTRY PLUG SHAKES.

ASUKA:
They?ve finally come back to me, eh? Well, they abandoned me in the first place, so it?s their fault it?s the end of the world!


CUT TO SANDALPHON CONTINUING TO TRY TO DEVOUR UNIT 02. UNIT 00 AND UNIT 01 REPEATEDLY ALTERNATE ATTACKS THAT DON?T WORK. EACH FOLLOWED BY A BLAST FROM SANDALPHON?S KOA. CUT TO ASUKA INSIDE THE ENTRY PLUG.

ASUKA:
Oh, they?re doing it all wrong! The Angel is going to kill me! Soon it will cause the Third Impact! Oh, for the love of God, just get through with this already! I musn?t run away!

CUT TO SHINJI INSIDE THE ENTRY PLUG.

SHINJI:
I musn?t run away!

CUT TO REI INSIDE THE ENTRY PLUG.

REI:
I musn?t run away!

CUT TO SANDALPHON ALMOST DEVOURING UNIT 02.

SHINJI, ASUKA, REI (STARTING OFF QUIET, GETTING LOUDER):
I musn?t run away! I musn?t run away! I musn?t run away!

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

ENTIRE CROWD:
Go Shinji! Go Asuka! Go Rei! Go Shinji! Go Asuka! Go Rei! Go Shinji! Go Asuka! Go Rei!

KENSUKE:
Go Rei?s butt!

TOJI:
No, you?ve got it all wrong. Go Asuka?s boobs!

KENSUKE:
Rei?s butt!

TOJI:
Asuka?s boobs!

TOJI AND KENSUKE BREAK INTO A FIST FIGHT.

HIKARI:
I really should stop letting them exit detentions.

IBUKI, AOBA, HYUGA:
They?re lean! They?re mean! They?re the EVA Prototype, Test Type, and Production Type machines!

RITSUKO:
Impressive.

PEN-PEN:
Yah.

MISATO RUNS UP TO SHINJI AND HUGS HIM. SHINJI BACKS OFF.

MISATO:
You really did it, Shinji! In fact, all of your children did it! You?re the greatest EVA pilots the world has ever known!

ASUKA:
We?re the only EVA pilots the world has ever known!

MISATO:
Whatever.

REI:
Is this the feeling you call true happiness? If it is, I think I?m starting to like it!

REI SMILES.

ASUKA:
Well, there?s a first time for everything!

SHINJI:
It?s funny. I have no mother, no father, and yet I feel proud! All of you people showed me that I can be, no, am a useful person! I feel loved, and for the first time in 11 years, I feel as if I belong. Sure, there are painful times, but it?s all worth it! Right? Today, I?m a hero. I?m home! Did you hear that, mother in Heaven!?! I?m home! I?m home! Yahoo!

KAJI:
Sorry, to be a party pooper, but I have a little bit of business to attend to.

THE SCENE RETURNS TO REGULAR SPEED. KAJI THE BUNDLE AND THE LANCE OF LONGINUS. HE RUNS OFF. THE CAMERA ZOOMS OUT TO REVEAL FUYUTSKI WATCHING THE PREVIOUS SCENE ON A GIANT SCREEN NERV TV. KAJI RUNS INTO THE ROOM WITH THE BUNDLE AND THE LANCE OF LONGINUS.

FUYUTSKI:
I see you have returned with what you promised.

KAJI:
Yup. I?ll just send this off to Gendo.

FUYUTSKI:
I hope you aren?t playing any tricks, Kaji.

KAJI:
I was thinking of doing some on Misato while she was asleep.

FUYUTSKI:
You are one sick man, Kaji.

KAJI:
Come on! Misato loves me!

FUYUTSKI:
Perhaps in a different way than you think.

KAJI:
You seem to know everything, don?t you?

FUYUTSKI:
Gendo only keeps me informed.

KAJI:
Do you think you can inform me on what your plan with this here embryo?

FUYUTSKI:
Isn?t it obvious? What you?ve given us is the root of all life. The breaking point between Angels and demons. The father of humanity. The one whose brethren took the Fruit of Wisdom in the Garden of Eden. What, you?ve given us, is Adam. Do you remember how the story of B?reshit goes? From Adam?s rib, Eve was created.

KAJI:

I get it! Eve is the Evangelion!

FUYUTSKI:
Indeed. NERV?s goal with the EVAs is to fuse a link between Angel and demon, combining the Fruit of Wisdom with the Fruit of Life, and making a new God in a time where the old God has given up.

KAJI:
SEELE wants to bring man closer to God as well, but in a very different and painstaking way.

FUYUTSKI:
Can you reveal that data?

KAJI:
Sorry, but that is disclosed information.

FUYUTSKI:
I think I know Shinji?s part in the plan already. Deception. It is the cruelest trick known to man.

KAJI:
Gendo betrayed Shinji, right?

FUYUTSKI:
It is certain that the deeds done by Gendo have gotten Shinji to become his avid supporter. Little does our so-called hero know, he?ll become a tool, carrying out Gendo?s every will. He?ll become an empty vessel; with his soul lost in the Chamber of Goth. Everyone who loves him will die, and in the end he?ll bring doom. He?s only defeated 8 of the Angels and we only have captured 2; there?s still 8 more left for him to face. He only has a few minutes of Heaven left, and very soon he?s going to plunge into a very deep and desperate Hell.

THE SUBTITLE ?TO BE CONTINUED? POPS UP AT THE BOTTOM OF THE SCREEN. CUT TO SHINJI, REI, ASUKA, AND TOJI PERFORMING ?FLY ME TO THE MOON? AS A CHORUS. THE CREDITS ROLL OVER THIS SCENE.