~Mystical Pan~ Posted November 13, 2001 Share Posted November 13, 2001 ok this is my situation: I have two dear friends..I care for them deeply...they're my homies, ya know. However, they hate each other..I don't know why...I can't comprehend why. Today, some things happened..I accidently triggered it when I tried to sort of make both of them talk to each other. One of 2 guys told me to choose him or the other guy. I couldn't choose...I care for them both..as friends though. I don't know what to do. I've been in this situation before and lost both of my friends and I don't want to lose them. I'm confused and I truly don't know what to do. I don't want to choose between them. BUt i want to keep them as friends. Should I just stop talking to both of them for awhile to calm myself or something? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Transtic Nerve Posted November 13, 2001 Share Posted November 13, 2001 Well any real friend wouldn't make you choose... they'd accept the decission that you made when you have both of them as friends..... If they can't put their own differences aside for friendship of yourself, then they are not real friends. Since I doubt thats what you wanted to hear... you said only one of the two guys told you to choose.... what did the other guy say? Does he care who your other friends are? If he doesn't, then he's the one for you.... he doesn't make you choose, he doesn't care only for himself... But I think you should talk to them one on one (like each friend at a different time) and see why they don't like each other and why can't they just act like civil people when together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Macaiodh Posted November 13, 2001 Share Posted November 13, 2001 i've been in this situation before. my two best friends were jealous of the other's friendship w/ me & each one wanted me to spend time only w/ her. i just told them in no uncertain terms that i wasn't about to choose, that making me choose was immature & unfair, & i divided my time among them. they didn't like it, but they wanted to be my friend, so what could they really do? also, why do these guys hate each other? is it a legitimate reason, or something stupid, or a misunderstanding? you probably won't get them to talk, but maybe you can intervene in some other way. i find it interesting that you're a girl & these 2 are guys. do they like you--in that way? i have a feeling that this is a jealousy thing. if so, you're probably stuck. humans are jealous creatures. insanely so. *sigh* ridiculous. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~Mystical Pan~ Posted November 13, 2001 Author Share Posted November 13, 2001 well it's hard to explain..they hated each other before they knew me. Well one of them is 17 and trhe other is 19. The 17 year old one has a g/f and the 19 year old..let's say hasn't had the best relationships with girls..they seem to always misuse him and hurt him. The 19 year old one was the dude that told me to choose. I really doubt it cause it's actually jealousy...one of them has a g/f and well the other..he's 19 I seriously doubt he has feelings for a 15 year old. lol The other guy told me it was ok..then one tht didn't make me choose. He said don't worry about it. He seems more kewl but the other one has been having serious problems..not sure why...his life ins't in the best shape I guess. He told me he would commit suicide if it wasn't that he was so scared. I'm afraid for him. Not only is he a dear friend, he's been greta in giving me advice and I look up to him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
k9* Posted November 13, 2001 Share Posted November 13, 2001 i hate to say this, but it sounds like ur friend has major issues/problems. i suggest you find him some help, if he'll agree to it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~Mystical Pan~ Posted November 13, 2001 Author Share Posted November 13, 2001 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by k9* [/i] [B]i hate to say this, but it sounds like ur friend has major issues/problems. i suggest you find him some help, if he'll agree to it. [/B][/QUOTE] I know..I wish I could..I don't know if he'll let me though...:( I just feel hopeless and out of ideas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mornigndew Posted November 13, 2001 Share Posted November 13, 2001 [color=blue] Your friend really have a problem, and he's sort of selfish, forcing you to choose one or the other. Like K9* said, try to get him some help. [/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~Mystical Pan~ Posted November 13, 2001 Author Share Posted November 13, 2001 yeah I will. Thanx peoples for your advice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zidargh Posted November 13, 2001 Share Posted November 13, 2001 Talk to him and tell him that making you choose between them isn't right. If he's a true friend, he'll understand. say that you like them both he same and tell him how you feel. Then everything gets out of your system and they'll hopefully become friends because you boh like tem. Hope I could've been of some help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest peekabooicu Posted November 14, 2001 Share Posted November 14, 2001 ok easy just say i cant chouse and if u gies are my true good friends then u will not make me chose between you just because i have another friend that u dislike and that is all i will say Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harry Posted November 14, 2001 Share Posted November 14, 2001 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by ~Mystical Pan~ [/i] [B]ok this is my situation: I have two dear friends..I care for them deeply...they're my homies, ya know. However, they hate each other..I don't know why...I can't comprehend why. Today, some things happened..I accidently triggered it when I tried to sort of make both of them talk to each other. One of 2 guys told me to choose him or the other guy. I couldn't choose...I care for them both..as friends though. I don't know what to do. I've been in this situation before and lost both of my friends and I don't want to lose them. I'm confused and I truly don't know what to do. I don't want to choose between them. BUt i want to keep them as friends. Should I just stop talking to both of them for awhile to calm myself or something? [/B][/QUOTE] just let them hate each other. Don't get nosey and try to but in. If they don't like each other, they have there opinions. and you try to change that, you might lose both of them edit: sorry about that, didn't see it the first time. the one that made you choose is obviously an ***. choose the other guy. one more side note, you shouldn't have tried to make them like each other in the first place, that's what you get Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~Mystical Pan~ Posted November 14, 2001 Author Share Posted November 14, 2001 I see what you guys mean..but I didnt really try to get them to like each other.I think I worded it wrong...I tried to hold a freakin like conversation with them at the same time..like hang with them both..but it backfired...:( BUt i guess that's also sort of wanting them to like each other. :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silver Mew Posted November 14, 2001 Share Posted November 14, 2001 Hey I was kinda in a situation like that a couple of days ago.Talk to one of them.I bet they don't really want you to pick because they might not get picked.If you keep both of them as your friend then defend the other friend if one of them is talking about the other or just don't say anything..... Of course you don't HAVE to I am just trying to help! Good luck to you and your friends!:D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fall Posted November 14, 2001 Share Posted November 14, 2001 If them 2 guys were real friends, they wouldn't make you choose between them. If I were you, I'd talk too the guy who made you choose, and say that he shouldn't have asked you too choose, because that's not a real friend. Id become more of a friend too the guy who didn't ask you too choose. Obviously he had no problem with you being friends with the both of them. Id still be friends with both of them, but not that close with the guy in the wrong............ You get what I'm saying here? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~Mystical Pan~ Posted November 14, 2001 Author Share Posted November 14, 2001 SM..I'll follow up on your adive! :) And SS I get what you are saying. You right. :) Thanx peoples for the great advice then. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pave-Low Posted November 15, 2001 Share Posted November 15, 2001 Well, kniow one wants to here the if there really your friend they would not make you choose. Half the times thats not true. They dont mean it when they say it they just dont know what to do. Just keep talking to them both. Best thing you can do is talk it out with them. Tell them if they can settle it like real men you wont be friends with either of them. that should be enough to open their eyes. Sounds like they really like you though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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