How do you get over someone?

[Princess_Keiko]

I got this problem...I just can't seem to get over this one guy.Well we broke up around july and I can't stop thinking about him, I wanna forget him but I just can't.
When I asked my friend what should I do ,she said sometimes it could take up to 2 years to forget someone and I was like @.@' What?!?.
Anyways, I was wondering if any of you guys got some advice (and please don't criticize, just some advice would appreciate it) ~ keiko

[Dragon Warrior]

Your friend is correct. It could very well take a long time to get over someone... or worse (and I don't wanna frighten you), you might never get over them. But that oinly happens if it's some fierce love.

As for getting over him, people have told me that you simply try dating others, avoiding any emotional contact with the guy you like, and if at all possible, convince yourself he's just a friend*.

*: Convincing yourself is a type of psychological therapy that actually works if you try hard enough. It's all in your mind and since you control your mind, you should be able to control this sort of thing. Hope that helps.

[Panda]

Time is your best friend when it comes to a broken heart. Everyday it will get a bit easier. Eventually you will think about him less and less. Unfortunately there is no magic pill you can take to make the hurt go away. You just have to give it some time.

Keep doing things like having fun with your friends and family. Don't just sit around and sulk. I am not a fan of jumping back into a relationship. Rebound relationships very rarely work in my opinion. It seems like a lot of people think getting a new boyfriend/girlfriend will help you forget the last relationship. I don't think that is the case. I think all it does is give the new person an expectation to live up too and be compared against. In other words, they are going to have some big shoes to fill.

Time, give it time, that is my advice.

[Juu]

[size=1]Make a chart of all the bad things about them vs the positives and be as completely honest with yourself as possible. Even if on your chart, the positive points seem to outweigh the negatives, at least they'll be out in the open and help you convince yourself there's definitely someone better out there. That's what I did. ^___^;[/size]

[Box Hoy]

I've had the same problem for a long time. Ever since 8th grade which was in fact, two years ago. I had this awesome girlfriend. He were on and off for awhile. When she finally moved away becuase she had allergies and couldn't take the weather around my hometown, I felt relieved yet we still talked.
But enough of that story. The best advice I can tell you is to just move on with your life. You're probably going to say you can't but that's not true. You've got to search for a new lover. It'll be a good distraction. A way to get you from thinking about the guy.
Best of luck to you.

[Pumpkin]

[QUOTE=Panda]Time is your best friend when it comes to a broken heart. Everyday it will get a bit easier. Eventually you will think about him less and less. Unfortunately there is no magic pill you can take to make the hurt go away. You just have to give it some time.

Keep doing things like having fun with your friends and family. Don't just sit around and sulk. I am not a fan of jumping back into a relationship. Rebound relationships very rarely work in my opinion. It seems like a lot of people think getting a new boyfriend/girlfriend will help you forget the last relationship. I don't think that is the case. I think all it does is give the new person an expectation to live up too and be compared against. In other words, they are going to have some big shoes to fill.

Time, give it time, that is my advice.[/QUOTE]

Panda is definately right about the re-bound relationship problem. I know alot of people who try and date someone to forget about the person they were with, not only is it cruel to the person who is dating you, it will only make your problems worse. I know I always fall for the wrong guy, but there are just things you have to let go. I know I've tried that technique where I tell myself I don't really like him, only as a friend. I'd avoid talking to him for awhile until you feel comfortable. However long you guys have been together depends on when you'll get over it, most the time however long the relationship lasted. Stay strong though, and I hope you feel better. As they say "It doesn't take a long time to know someone, but it takes forever to forget about them."

[Hevn]

[COLOR=Purple][SIZE=1][COLOR=Plum][B]Time definitely heals[/B][/COLOR]. Go out and do loads of fun stuffs with your friends. Go for an adventure and do something new or spontaneous. Go steal a McDonald statue for a day! (Lol. Sorry, a friend told me some highschool students made a silly prank and stole KFC's Col. Sanders)

Heh, yeah. And in time, you'll tell yourself what were you thinking and you fell for that stupid person.[/SIZE][/COLOR]

[Baron Samedi]

[size=1]Common logic should tell you that throwing yourself into another relationship won't help ~_^

Which only leaves one option: to buck up and keep living, lol. The quicker you can accept what he meant to you, and that it is over, the faster you'll be able to move on and put it behind you.[/size]

[kabapu]

the best way to get over someone is to hit yourself over the head really, really, really hard.

that way you can get over anything!! ^_^

it works for me. maybe more people should try it.

[...]

[QUOTE=Princess_Keiko]I got this problem...I just can't seem to get over this one guy.Well we broke up around july and I can't stop thinking about him, I wanna forget him but I just can't.
When I asked my friend what should I do ,she said sometimes it could take up to 2 years to forget someone and I was like @.@' What?!?.
Anyways, I was wondering if any of you guys got some advice (and please don't criticize, just some advice would appreciate it) ~ keiko[/QUOTE]
Things are never as bad as they seem... I know your situation all too well. I fell in love, and was dropped. And I let myself go into a damned depression because of it. I never thought I'd get over him.... and it hurt really bad. But like Hevn said... time does a lot of healing... for me, it took about 8 months... mainly because of my depression... and well, I found someone else who helped me get over everything... And I can honestly say that I don't lose sleep over that guy anymore :laugh: Again, don't worry :) You'll come around ;)

[Lady Asphyxia]

[font=Verdana][size=1]Mmm. My advice is to listen to and be with your friends. When my boyfriend and I broke up 2 years ago or so, I was in an unfortunate postition because before that, he had been my best friend, and all of my friends were also his. However, there was another group of friends who I'd been friends with for years, and they were all wonderful about it. While it might hurt, its definately easier if you don't dwell on it for months on end. Go out, have fun with your friends. Go to the movies, have a video night at home, have a Rocky Horror Picture Show party![/size][/font]

[font=Verdana][size=1]When the guy and I broke up, it was just before the summer holidays. I thought, by the end of the holidays, I was over him. When I got back to school I realised that wasn't the case, and that really hurt. Eventually, it just took time. Because I wasn't always with him, I could see the bad parts of him that I'd missed when we were going out.[/size][/font]
[font=Verdana][size=1][/size][/font]
[font=Verdana][size=1]I'm not sure that guy and I can be classified as friends. We were nice enough to each other at the end of the year, but we just went our seperate ways.[/size][/font]
[font=Verdana][size=1][/size][/font]
[font=Verdana][size=1]Another of my friends was really infatuated with this girl. They'd gone out, and she'd broken it off, and they'd gone out again, and she'd broken it off [i]again. [/i]And he was really upset about it. The thing was, however, that he never let on that he was upset about it. Then one night at a party he and I had a talk about it and he let his feelings out, including the hate of her because she'd done this to him. Now he's a lot better. He still sort of likes her, but he can deal with that, and he's ready to be friends.[/size][/font]
[font=Verdana][size=1][/size][/font]
[font=Verdana][size=1]It might take time, and there may always be a sort of melancholy if you think about it all too much [like how it was in the beginning and what happened and was it you?] but the fact of the matter is this; it wasn't you, it's life, and that's what happens. We've just got to deal with it.[/size][/font]
[font=Verdana][size=1][/size][/font]
[font=Verdana][size=1]*hugs* Hope I helped.[/size][/font]

[burningwater101]

i used to have that problem but i got over it within a couple weeks, ks, well maybe not completely over it....but over it for the most part. just try not to think of the person, think more of what you still have rather than what you have lost, try to be a little optomistic.

[DarkOtakuBoy]

The truth is, you never REALLY forget someone you care about. Time IS the best cure, but even years later when you think of that person, some of the old feelings [I]will [/I] come back in almost a shadow of what things used to be like.
I went through a HORRIBLE breakup a few years back, and I mean it almost wrecked me. But what helped the most for me, is healthy venting. Writing poetry, taking up new hobbies. I got fully emerged in Ancient History and Philosophy, because it kinda protected me from the pain. A lot of people say (and told me) that a distraction only hurts you in the long run, but I had [I]so [/I] much help with healthy distractions, until enough time passed where I said to myself, "damn...I really just dont care anymore. Its not an emotional feeling, just an old memory by now."

I dont know if that works for everyone. I just know it helped me cope.

[burningwater101]

[QUOTE=DarkOtakuBoy]The truth is, you never REALLY forget someone you care about. Time IS the best cure, but even years later when you think of that person, some of the old feelings [I]will [/I] come back in almost a shadow of what things used to be like.
I went through a HORRIBLE breakup a few years back, and I mean it almost wrecked me. But what helped the most for me, is healthy venting. Writing poetry, taking up new hobbies. I got fully emerged in Ancient History and Philosophy, because it kinda protected me from the pain. A lot of people say (and told me) that a distraction only hurts you in the long run, but I had [I]so [/I] much help with healthy distractions, until enough time passed where I said to myself, "damn...I really just dont care anymore. Its not an emotional feeling, just an old memory by now."

I dont know if that works for everyone. I just know it helped me cope.[/QUOTE]
yeah, what you said. thats the way i get over things like that, but i'm not great with putting my thoughts into words or i would've said something similiar in my reply...

[Venge]

My girlfriend had this problem with her recent ex boyfriend. She just broke up with him and she was desperate for someone to be with her, so she asked me out. But, she soon realized she wasn't 100% over him. So, like everyone else has said, it just takes time.

Try doing things with your friends. Take your mind off the guy, and try to have fun. Laugh a little each day, and treat yourself to something good each day. But, if you can't take being away from him much longer, then just ask him to be your friend.

>>Matt

PS: Hope that helps!

[Akieen Cloud]

I'll have to agree with panda on this. Time is reall ythe only thing you can give it. Like she said rebound relationships never really work out. And I maen I know the boat your in, trust me. I was that way as well, give it some time and try to date other guys, just not one right after the other. I mean try to give other guys a chance. It could work for the better. I had a good chance at that my self. I had a boyfried that I really was into, I mean I loverd him somethin' firece, and well he broke it off. He regreted it ever since than becasue he lost me and he's told me that him self but that beyond the point here. I gave another guy that I had like for about a week a try and we got to know each other pretty well and we've been together for about a year and 4 months now...so I mean it's all in the time you give your self. It may take a short time and as it seems to be goign for you a while. But I mean, realtionships you can never really tell what in the world is gonna happent here. They are always unpredictable and I think that if they were predictable that they would be no fun anf than no one would be together.

[C.Azul]

Look, the best way to forget about this person is to concentrate on more important things. Life is not just about relationships. Maybe you should first focus on your education you know, graduate from high school and going to college. I think that you are better off without your boyfriend because who knows if you might ended up being pregnant. Like a friend of mine. She was a cheerleader and was extremely smart. Her goal was to attend an university. She was preparing to graduate high school but sadly she got pregnant and never accomplish her goals. Think about it. Getting involved with another guy won't help solve your problems, it would just make it worse. Just chill out. Hang out with your friends. Old wounds can take time to heal but they won't stay forever.