Art Retri's Canvas

[Retribution]

[SIZE=1]Thanks, Sun.

Here's another piece I made ... I'm kind of running with this whole typographical art idea.

[b]Complete[/b]
[IMG]http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y170/retri_trib/complete.jpg[/IMG]

And please check the Banner/Avatar Orphanige in the Art Request for the banner version of this.[/SIZE]

[Cyriel]

[SIZE=1][COLOR=Purple][B]Complete[/B] - Hmm...not a real fan of this one, methinks. The colors are lovely, and the little gridding thingummies as well, but... Well, compared to your other works, I just don't think it's as impressive. 'Complete' implies something of a concluding nature, but this...makes me feel like I'm left hanging. Also, I don't really like how the word is dangling off the edge of the red band - I think instead the word should be moved so that the entire thing is on the band of colors. Of course it'll be off-center of the entire thing, but it will give the illusion of still being centered I believe. Did that even make sense?

[B]Wingman[/B] - This was my absolute favorite out of the other set of four. Seeing the title, I was not very excited to look at it, because I was expecting something dark/dreary/militaristic. Instead, it was such a pleasant surprise! It was just so unexpected, and absolutely beautiful. The lettering is just fantastic, and so complimenting to everything else, but at the same time garners so much deserved attention. This was just another reminder to me about how I can never be prepared for the focused expanse of your work.[/COLOR][/SIZE]

[Retribution]

[SIZE=1]Thank you, Cyriel. I'll think about moving 'complete' up a tad to get it off the edge.

Here's two more pieces I made after reading about the White Tigers. They were part of the Aizu army (feudal japan), and were only 16 and 17, and committed seppuku after seeing their castle burning in the distance. They thought their castle had fallen, but they were tragically mistaken. Back at the castle, men from the army, as well as civilian men and woman made a valiant last stand against the enemy, but ultamitely lost. The following pieces' text is a farewell poem written by a young girl. I tried two different versions, but I'm not completely satisfied with either one.

[b]Way of the Warrior Farewell Poem[/b]
[url]http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y170/retri_trib/wayofwarrior.jpg[/url]

[b]Way of the Warrior Farewell Poem 2[/b]
[url]http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y170/retri_trib/wayofwarrior2.jpg[/url][/SIZE]

[Young Cheezy]

[font=Comic Sans MS][color=Gray] I just typed out the longest message but I clicked an ad by accident and it all dissapeared. I think im gonna cry now. I said something along the lines of this:

I could go on commenting on your art forever, but because of time restraints I'll critique the last two.
[b]
Way of the Warrior Farewell Poem:[/b] I'm really digging the simplicity. The font style and color have been chosen nicely and the Japanese characters brought it all together. I also thought that the Japanese letters (or whatever they are) had the effect as if they were freshly painted on. Really nice touch if you ask me. One thing that bothers me, however, are there a little too many blank spots.

[b]Way of the Warrior Farewell Poem Part II: [/b]The stock photo with the skies and trees in the background is lovely, especially the colors. Everything looks nice, but the only nitpick im gonna say on this one is the green outer glow. It doesnt go well with the black font IMO. Everything else is spot on though-- at least from what I see.

You get an A+ from Mr. Cheezy[/color][/font]

[Retribution]

[SIZE=1]Heh. Thanks, Cheezy. I know how that can go -- typing out something long and really thought out, only for the browser to backfire, and then you kinda... have to redo the entire thing. I feel your pain.

So anyway, here's another picture I whipped up. It's another prototype layout design... tell me what you think.

[b]A - Layout Prototype[/b]
[url]http://img247.imageshack.us/my.php?image=layoutblackwhite7hn.jpg[/url][/SIZE]

[Doc]

[size=1][b]A - Layout Prototype: [/b]Part of Retri's signature style. Very clean, and sharp. It has a nice feel to it, and isn't too busy. It is a very probably site design, if cut properly... and put together nicely. I do have to say though, that the whitened area to the right, *I'm assuming that's where the text is going to go* seems a little cramped. I do like some designs that do cramp the text, but it's hard to pull of nicely sometimes. I have confidence that you can do it. ^_^
[/size]

[Retribution]

[SIZE=1]Jeez... I definitely let this die. Sorry. But I don't feel too guilty; one reply after two weeks. *shrug* Anyway, be prepared for a huge post. Thanks.

[b]Typography Project[/b] - Open your eyes, typography is art all around you.
[url]http://img367.imageshack.us/img367/7388/typoproject6ke.jpg[/url]

[b]Gold Anthem[/b]
[url]http://img395.imageshack.us/img395/2038/goldanthem5op.jpg[/url]

[b]One Day I Will Fly Away[/b] - Reminds me of life.
[url]http://img395.imageshack.us/img395/154/wind9ql.jpg[/url]

[b]Pardon Me[/b] - While I burn.
[url]http://img395.imageshack.us/img395/2438/pardonme8wy.jpg[/url]

[b]Doubleplus[/b] - 1984 Newspeak.
[url]http://img395.imageshack.us/img395/8452/doubleplus4te.jpg[/url]

[b]typoGRAHIK 1[/b] - First in a series.
[url]http://img395.imageshack.us/img395/6199/typoexperiments12rn.jpg[/url]

[b]typoGRAPHIK 2[/b] - Second in a series.
[url]http://img395.imageshack.us/img395/381/typoexperiments20bo.jpg[/url]

[b]Elegant Dream[/b]
[url]http://img395.imageshack.us/img395/9548/sueno9jw.jpg[/url]

[b]warning[/b] - Do not touch.
[url]http://img395.imageshack.us/img395/405/redsigns4ys.jpg[/url]

[I]NOTE:[/I] The farther down the list you go, the older the art is. Just for reference. Now critique away![/SIZE]

[Cyriel]

[SIZE=1][COLOR=Purple][B]Typography Project[/B] - This is very nice; I'm liking the patchwork feel it has. I guess I'd just like to see a little more...variation on the images I think. I mean, like, there are some pieces that are stuck right next to others that are very similar to each other, and so you just lose the random pattern of it. Also, maybe if it really did have more of a global thing, because it's 'World Typography,' but I'm only seeing...English.

[B]Gold Anthem[/B] - What to say on this? It's your lovely, simple style that's become revolutionary on the 'Boards. Absolutely picturesque... Alot of your work reminds me of the simple, zen-like teachings of many Asian beliefs.

[B]One Day I Will Fly Away[/B] - I absolutely worship you for this stunning, brilliant, unquestionable masterpiece. Just the image and the words in your combination produces this immensely pervasive sense of emotion and spiritual quality - I don't know what it is really, but I take one look at this image and all I can think of is how much larger the world really is, in comparison with just our own existences. It just reminds me of my trip to Belize, and seeing the state and conditions of the people there, and yet, just how happy and joyful they could still be, although I felt this intense sorrow mixed with...solace. I just...it's just a very moving piece, not to get all teary-eyed and everything on you there...^_^;; It's amazing and wonderful.

[B]Pardon Me[/B] - This is such a beautiful piece as well! I absolutely adore the fonts, and the color combos you used. I feel like an idiot though - I though it said 'while I bum' instead of 'while I burn.' So yeah...pardon my confusion, because it's really quite marvelous.

[B]Doubleplus[/B] - There must be something behind this that I'm uneducated in or something, because I don't really understand this... It does, however, remind me of my perfect grade...=_=;; I'm just not sure how any of these things really connect...although I do like the concept.

[B]typoGRAPHIK1[/B] - As with [I]Pardon Me[/I] there are once again very nice fonts and colors. I absolutely adore the red streakish things (I have no idea what to call them). However, I don't like how some of the red dots got splattered onto the black lettering - it just looks careless. The box at the bottom also seems a little too close to the border - it looks almost...squished, even though there's this wide expanse of space around it.

[B]typoGRAPHIK2[/B] - This is my favorite of the two - it just seems so much more attractive and inviting I think. Yes, nothing really to critique, because I can't see anything blatantly wrong. This one just makes me happy. ^__^

[B]Elegant Dream[/B] - Wow, I am very impressed. This one is just so...wow. I love how you broke up the words and expression, but how you can still easily just piece it back together without even trying - I just forms together by itself. The...roughness, I guess? provides so much texture. The only thing I dislike is the part where 'ntspaces' and 'dont exi' are put slightly on top of one another, although...as I keep looking at it, I keep liking it more. This, for some reason, reminds me alot of [I]The Motorcycle Diaries[/I]. It has the same feel, I guess. I applaud you - even though you say the work is older, it's still quite laudable.

[B]Warning[/B] - My same complaint as before: I'm not really a fan of how two pieces so similar are stuck right next to each other (the two striped ones). I also think that 'do not touch' could be moved up a tad, along with that whole little barcode - it looks too close to the border. The little man is so funny (even though that situation really wouldn't be..), and the concept is very nice as well.

Once again, you never cease to surprise me.[/COLOR][/SIZE]

[Retribution]

[SIZE=1]Cyriel, you rock. ^o^ You know how to make someone smile, that's for sure. Thanks.

So anyway, I still have an obsession with this song "China Love," so go search for who made it and read the lyrics and get the song. Or just look at my art.

[b]China Love[/b]
[IMG]http://img231.imageshack.us/img231/8783/chinalove3gj.jpg[/IMG]

Comments are welcome and appreciated.[/SIZE]

[Ima]

[FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2]Well it's been quite some time since i've been on OB but I will comment on this piece.


Well as usual Retri the piece is quite nice.

I dislike like girl since you have a black BG and she has a glare in her hair it does not fit. The image was rendered perfectly and it's simple yet sweet. I like the colors and the placing of the font. The colors blend well and give you that overall feel. I love the border :P

The image is very simple and yet very effective and it catches the eye quite nicely


Keep up the good work :P


<3



EDIT: I have to say that the glare in her hair JUST BUGS me so much it is BAH[/SIZE][/FONT]

[Annie]

[size=1]Ima has a point. The shadows/highlights on the girl against a pitch black background just doesn't mix, da'ling. The direction of light hitting the girl sticks out because the background doesn't give a source of either light or a shadow of the girl herself.

Other than that, the quality of the picture is fabulous. I love browns and neutral colors, and having so much flat/plain colors come out as clearly and clean mesmerizes me every single time. Loverly job.[/size]

[Cyriel]

[SIZE=1][COLOR=Sienna]Shouldn't it be '[B]our[/B] hearts' and not 'out hearts'? Just checking...

The girl has such cool features...I think you picked her out very nicely. The glare on her hair really isn't bothering me much, but I think I'd agree a bit with Goddess about how it's a little odd with no source of light. But I love how you matched the colors - now I know what color I should choose to dye my hair...if I ever do. ^__^;;[/COLOR][/SIZE]

[Retribution]

[SIZE=1]Thanks for all the comments, people. I appreciate them.

This next one I struggled with, although I had a clear mental image as to what it would look like. I'm not entirely certain I did my original idea justice, but here goes...

[b]November[/b]
[IMG]http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y170/retri_trib/november.jpg[/IMG]

[b]SUBPAR[/b] - I was making a spin-off version of [url=http://aozoranoeizou.net/images/entrance.png][b]this[/b][/url] splash image for my friend's site. Version 8.
[IMG]http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y170/retri_trib/subpar.jpg[/IMG]

[b]Satellite[/b]
[IMG]http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y170/retri_trib/satellite.jpg[/IMG]

The +, -, and inbetween are all welcome.[/SIZE]

[Ima]

[SIZE=1][B]November:[/B] I love how simple this image is and yet it gives a full view of what you wanted to happen. No BG I cannot comment on that. The colors are neutral and the image flows. Very well done my good friend :P


[B]SUBPAR:[/B] Yet again another simple and yet effective image. The font placement is perfect and the image once again flows, it seems you always know where you want things to go :P

EDIT: What does the font under the eight mean? Could you tell me by any chance?
I had a basic view of what it might mean but im not sure :P

[B]Satellite:[/B] Image is once again very basic and it flows I love the font and the colors the border is also pretty kick *** :P

I love how the V just flows into the A


[/SIZE]

[Cyriel]

[SIZE=1][COLOR=Sienna][B]November[/B] - Hmm...not much to say on this one. I don't think it's spectacular, but it's not too shabby either. Just...sitting in the middle of the spectrum I guess. I do approve of the overall design - the only thing I don't like is that you can't read the little tiny words, so they look kind of...well, annoying is what I want to say. However, do realize that this is my bias, because I dearly love to be able to read everything. Other than that, quite nice.

[B]SUBPAR[/B] - I am very much a fan of this piece. ^__^ Again a personal bias I believe, because I am a fan of all things Japanese... But I really do love the '8' for some reason. I've just never seen an '8' quite like that before...and it just has a very lovely and attractive quality to it. What is so alluring to me about this number? I'm being seduced by the '8.' =_=;;

[B]Satellite[/B] - Oh, very clever design methinks. Yes, I am very much appreciative of this one. As [I]Ima[/I] says, the lettering design you have is very cool, and makes the image very attractive and...suave. ^__^ But is it off-center? - not the VA, but the square that's in front of 'satellite.' Whatever it is, it's throwing me off. Yeah, I think if you line that up to be on the center-line, then it will give a better...symmetry.

Wonderful conversation. [/COLOR][/SIZE]

[Retribution]

[QUOTE=Ima][SIZE=1]EDIT: What does the font under the eight mean? Could you tell me by any chance?
I had a basic view of what it might mean but im not sure :P
[/SIZE][/QUOTE][SIZE=1]"Selfish." It doesn't really corrolate with the splash, but whatever.

Here's more art - critique. Or suffer my new technique, which I will murder you with. ^o^

[B]12th[/B]
[IMG]http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y170/retri_trib/12.jpg[/IMG]

[B]Anthology Summer 05[/b] - It's time to say goodbye to the summer, so here's a farewell.
[IMG]http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y170/retri_trib/anthology.jpg[/IMG][/SIZE]

[Doc]

[size=1][b]12th:[/b] I'm not quite sure if this symbolizes something for you, but it does fit your style. ^_^ As always, you do great with the text art. It's placed nicely, and sized to draw attention to different parts. The colors are a bit bright... *Namely the text* Which does sort of problem my eyes... I guess it's just me though.

[b] Anthology:[/b] This is a nicely done piece. I would imagine you'd image map it if you ever get a site up and running. It's well organized, and has a cap of each peices drawing details. I'd prefer to see some of your other peices there... but it's what you prefer. If you would like to make another, that'd just rock even more. ^_^ As, well... I've seen a lot of stuff from you this summer that I really like.

All in all... keep up the awesome work.
[/size]

[Ima]

[SIZE=1][B]12th:[/B] Once again a very basic but well thought out pieces that means quite alot. As Doc said you know how to place text. I always love the simplicity of your images but yet they mean so much :P Keep up the good work


[B]Anthology Summer 05 :[/B] I love all the pieces in one and it shows all that you've done over the summer and its amazing I really do not know what to say since I cannot comment on each individual piece with the time I have. Nice job Retri



If you read my post and you are not commenting on the work... Please don't read my post or even look at such great art... If you have nothing to say why even bother? I don't care if you think its nice and great, amazing... Comment say what you like.. I know you have a busy agenda right now but come on? What is 5 minutes? Retri in some way has helped you.. You may not know it. But trust me. If this thread is not full of comments and art I mean.. I just won't bother posting in the boards. Its pointless Retri has helped out the art community with Unofficial Events and Clubs and yet you can't post a simple, I like, I dislike post? Well thats like saying thanks for nothing.

EDIT: I never said "Flock" and post great comments blah blah amazing you are better than me blah blah... I never said that, I said if you look at the art post on it and maybe it will improve. Well lets see Retri seems to post in just about every Art thread and give comments how to improve, what he dislikes ect. But you cannot come and help him? Please don't give me that. How long did it take you? 3 minutes? Yes? No? All im saying is it would be nice for some new faces to comment instead of looking and not commenting... Im not forcing it but Im just saying.... And without my post I can almost bet that you would not have posted.... You would not have posted... Its horrible... Give credit where credit is due.. Dont let a good thing die.

Also for all you know Retri could be think.. Ima why did you do it? I dont care.. But I did it because hes a friend and if hes not here.. How would you feel? What if Retri stopped commenting on your Art, would you improve? Tell me that? Would you? Thats what I thought.
[/SIZE]

[sakurasuka]

[quote name='Ima][SIZE=1']If you read my post and you are not commenting on the work... Please don't read my post or even look at such great art... If you have nothing to say why even bother? I don't care if you think its nice and great, amazing... Comment say what you like.. I know you have a busy agenda right now but come on? What is 5 minutes? Retri in some way has helped you.. You may not know it. But trust me. If this thread is not full of comments and art I mean.. I just won't bother posting in the boards. Its pointless Retri has helped out the art community with Unofficial Events and Clubs and yet you can't post a simple, I like, I dislike post? Well thats like saying thanks for nothing. [/SIZE][/quote]

[CENTER][SIZE=1]Erm... Wow. I don't think anyone really has any sort of obligation to post in this thread vs any other thread. I personally think that Retri is brilliant, but (since there is NOONE on OB that thinks he's terrible), there is no reason for EVERYONE just to say 'Great work!' to every image he makes. He gets plenty of praise for his brilliance, I assure you.

Though each one is brilliant, and Retri has contributed to the Art Studio Thread more than most of us, I don't think all of us should just flock to him to tell him how brilliant he is (Because he REALLY IS.) I've only posted in thread once or twice, when I am particularly touched by his art. When I'm not, I just keep silent. He has enought rabid fangirls, I daresay ~_^

... I said 'brilliant' more times in those two short paragraphs than I probably have in my whole life. *laughs*

12th-
Not without it's charm. Very simplistic (like most of your work), and I obviously love the text/placement. The colors were surely something of an... Odd choice, especially for the given text, but it's nice. It strains my eyes a bit, though, I must say.

Anthology Summer 05-
A wonderful way to end a wonderful summer. Hats off to you, Retri.

And I promise to post more, as long as you promise to update.

Edit- IMA, you can't say that noone posts in Retri's thread, 'cause he has 118 posts! That's more than anyone in the whole f**king Art Studio! *Shakes head*[/SIZE][/CENTER]

[Boo]

[size=1]Dare I say that you are wrong at the point of this being the biggest personal art thread OtakuBoards has ever had? I do, yay! I haven't done too much search, but I knew one thread that owns the kettel.

[color=gray][url=http://www.otakuboards.com/showthread.php?t=26092&page=1&pp=15&highlight=Rugh%27s+banners]Dan Rugh's banners (updated often)[/url] ( [url=http://www.otakuboards.com/showthread.php?t=26092&page=1&pp=15&highlight=Rugh%27s+banners]1[/url] [url=http://www.otakuboards.com/showthread.php?t=26092&page=2&pp=15&highlight=Rugh%27s+banners]2[/url] [url=http://www.otakuboards.com/showthread.php?t=26092&page=3&pp=15&highlight=Rugh%27s+banners]3[/url] [url=http://www.otakuboards.com/showthread.php?t=26092&page=4&pp=15&highlight=Rugh%27s+banners]4[/url] [url=http://www.otakuboards.com/showthread.php?t=26092&page=5&pp=15&highlight=Rugh%27s+banners]5[/url] [url=http://www.otakuboards.com/showthread.php?t=26092&page=6&pp=15&highlight=Rugh%27s+banners]6[/url] [url=http://www.otakuboards.com/showthread.php?t=26092&page=7&pp=15&highlight=Rugh%27s+banners]7[/url] ... [url=http://www.otakuboards.com/showthread.php?t=26092&page=25&pp=15&highlight=Rugh%27s+banners]Last Page[/url] )
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[u]Anthology Summer 05[/u]
I like this one. White background, black and red text. Nice placement of images. Altogether candy for the eye.

[u]12th[/u]
Well, this one is everything I just said, but the opposite of it. I don't like it, light blue with light lime hurts my eyes and I can't read a think it says underneath the big '12th'.[/size]

[Retribution]

[size=1]I have a feeling, Boo, that you posted only to spite me. >_< Meanie.

Here's more art. Rejoice! Inspired by aes-unleashed of dA.

[b]Dying with Glory[/b]
[IMG]http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y170/retri_trib/diewithglory.jpg[/IMG]

And since the colors sucked on the last one...

[b]12 pt 2[/b]
[IMG]http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y170/retri_trib/12pt2.jpg[/IMG][/size]

[Cyriel]

[SIZE=1][COLOR=Sienna][B]Dying with Glory[/B] - I can't believe that I'm saying this, but I think it's a bit [I]too[/I] simple. Your work is beautiful and astounding because of it's simplicity, but then you have to be careful in going overboard with that - making it too simple to the point that it's boring. I think that this one has such massive potential, because the wording, the concept, and your way of illustrating and making words come alive to your audience. But in this piece, I think...I feel like it has no connection. You could make this into so much more than it is - add emotion to it. Dying with glory should have that sense of sacrifice, something to tug one's heart. In this piece...there really isn't much.

[B]12 pt 2[/B] - Ah, so much better than your first draft. The colors sit much better with me, and the border is a nice touch as well. There is a [I]lot[/I] of empty space though, although I still haven't come to a decision on whether that detracts from the piece or not.[/COLOR][/SIZE]

[Retribution]

[size=1]First and foremost, much respect to Rising Sun. We just did another collaboration, and I'm going to venture and say the combination of our styles really came out well. Thanks for Archangel for the quote. This production took about an hour in total, from deciding to start a collaboration (relatively spontaneous) to finishing the borders. I'm so tired I can't begin to explain it, so without further ado, I bring to you:

[b]Retribution of the Rising Sun Collaboration[/b]

[IMG]http://img400.imageshack.us/img400/614/apicture14cl.jpg[/IMG]

Thank you, and goodnight [strike]Brooklyn, Chicago, New York...[/strike] OtakuBoards.[/size]

[Hittokiri Zero]

Meep. I'm not too fond of this last piece. From the background to the brush strokes nothing really jumps out of you, it's kind of just a random mess to the casual eye. I don't really like the way some of the red is visible through the white brushstrokes but what is really bothering me is how the red colored text blends in (too much) with the red colored brushstrokes. I would probably change the color of the red text so it's either a slight shade lighter or a slight shade darker than the brushstrokes so it's easier to read (either that or i'd add an indent or some other type of gimmick to the text so it stands out more, the text is basically the focal point of the image so i'd suggest that you try and make it as attractive as possible).

A couple other things:

The image seems a little "bottom heavy" and by that I mean the brushstrokes seem to cover up more of the bottom half of the image than the top, once again if this was me i'd either extend the brushstrokes to the upper half of the image or i'd just nudge the brushstroke layers up some.

- The white text, might look better if it wasn't as bold. I'd definatley make the copyright/name text in the bottom right hand corner less bold, possibly smaller, and make it so that it doesn't really draw attention to itelf.

[Retribution]

[size=1]Thanks for such in-depth critique. Sun and I appreciate it alot.

So, here's another concept that'll probably never be applied, but whatever. Here's a splash.

[color=teal]Made it an attachment. Things that increase the screen size usually should be, so yeah. -Syk3[/color][/size]