First Experience with Death

[Pumpkin]

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Two days ago my brother-in-law (my oldest sister's husband) who was 34 died in a motorcycle accident. He was hit by a truck at night while trying to go around a ladder that had fallen on the freeway. We were really close and this has been my first experience with someone that I know dieing. It made me think for a second about how people deal with death and how it affects others lives. What was your first experience with death, who was it, and how did it change your life that you live or others now today? and What would you say to that person who passed away if you could have one extra day with them? For me, I would probably tell my brother-in-law that I wish I could have seen him one more time because his death was so sudden.


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[Zombie_Nosh]

[RIGHT][COLOR=DarkGreen][SIZE=3][FONT=Garamond]My first experience with death was when my grandad died when I was a little 'un (six or so). He had been really sick for years, and was just deteriorating in his bed. I remember him lying therre not being able to move or talk much, and he really looked like he was in pain. I suppose it's better that he died when he did, rather than live the way he was.

I suppose I'm lucky in a way, because I didn't really know him. Our family had had a huge falling out, years earlier. It's ironic sort of, in his last few months, we were the only ones who visited him, and he made his peace with my dad. All I can remember really about the whole thing is how awful it was to see my mam crying when she heard he'd gone. I was far to young for his death to have an effect on me, but my mam's crying sure did!

Recently my great granny passed away, although she was aninety six, and it was her time. I remember thinking at the funeral how I would have liked to have gotten to know her better than I did. The next week or so I spent thinking about God and the afterlife, but that just depressed me, so I shoved that to the back of my mind.

Two days ago, I saw a man killed in a motorbike accident. That was pretty upsetting.

There you go, aside from two dogs and a goldfish, they're all the experiences with death in my life.[/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR][/RIGHT]

[MissWem]

[COLOR=DarkRed][SIZE=1]I cried more when my first pet rabbit died when I was about 7yrs old than when my friend died of a brain tumour when we were 9yrs old. Yea, so that's my initial experiences with death.

I managed to mourn for 3 days over my rabbit, it was so emotionally traumatizing at the time, the mere reminder of her caused me to cry.

As for my unfortunate friend who did suffer through chemotherapy, I cried at her funeral and never again since. I wouldn't know what to say to her if I had the chance, I didn't know what to say to her when she was alive in hospital. I guess I would probably say: "keep smiling, you're looking great."

Although that would've been redundant. I don't know how she did it, but she always seeme so cheerful.[/SIZE][/COLOR]

[Corey]

[size=1]I was about three years old when my grandmother died. I was very, very close to her even though I was only three. She had colon cancer that matasticised to her bones, I believe. I didn't know what happened.
When she was finally out of her house, I walked up to my mom, her daughter, and asked "When is the new Ohma coming home?"
She broke down crying and I cried with her.
I would have hugged her one more time. I didn't even know she was dying.

When I was about ten or so, my great grandmother died. She lived to be one hundred and one years old. A very, and in my opinion obcenely, long life. She died peacefully in her sleep.
I would have asked her to tell me more stories. I can't imagine all the stories she had to tell, but never did.

My uncle died about four years ago from lung cancer. I was sad, but I didn't cry or anything. He had been in a lot of pain. It was a good thing that he went when he did. I was glad that all his suffering had finally been taken away.
I would have spent more time with him. I loved him a lot, but he was a mild recluse. He liked his privacy. I would have tried to do more with him. He loved to flyfish, I could have learned that with him.

My most recent bout with death was when a friend of mine commited suicide two years ago. I went to his funeral and was completely fine until I saw him in the casket. He had had massive plactic surgery to repair his face, and it didn't look like him. I cried. A lot.
I would ask him why.[/size]

[Skye]

[size=1]*takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly* I am not going to cry... aw, hell. If I cry, I cry.

My first experiance with death was my grandfather passing away three days before New Years, 2004. He was in the hospital the whole time we (my mother, my brother, and I) were down in Florida. I was never told how he died, except he knew he was ready to go, and refused drugs. He wanted to know when he was gone.

If I had the chance... The night we got to Jacksonville, we went straight to the hospital, and visited him. I hugged him, but I didn't say anything. I didn't go to the hospital again before he died. I regret having not said anything. *takes another deep breath* I would have said what I always said when we went down to visit: "I love you, Grandpa." And I wish he had decided to spend his last days at home. That way, when he was gone, I could tell. It wouldn't seem like he was still at the hospital. And if he had come home, I would have been able to say "I love you" one more time.

Okay, I'll go cry now. Bye, guys.[/size]

[Zeta]

My first experience with death was when my dad died in 2001. Was in the hospital for a week with leukemia.

I cried for a few months. Whenever I would look at his room, his desk, etc..Anything that reminded me of him. My friends helped me out quite a bit. They were there for me when I needed them the most. Most of all though I think it was myself that managed to cope with it. I tried to be in my dads shoes looking down on me and realized he wouldn't want me to be this way. He would want me to continue on living as normal as I possibly can.

[Semjaza]

My father died in 1989. I was around seven at the time (my birthday was in a month) and my little sister was five.

I was first told by someone who was staying at our house for the night. I don't know his real name, I think it's John, but everyone just called him Low Rider. My dad was a biker and a member of ABATE, I was used to these nicknames. My mom wasn't around by that point of the morning, I assume she was at the hospital. My dad was in a motorcycle accident.

When he told me I just went in the bathroom and locked it. I didn't cry, but I think I was in some form of denial. It didn't make any sense to me because I had just seen him the night before (in fact, I slept in my parents' room that night). I didn't believe he died and I don't think I really accepted it, even after we went to the wake.

My sister was far more affected by it than I was. I don't want to make it seem like my father was abusive because he really wasn't, but he definitely liked my sister more. She was the one that was taken places and played with all the time. I don't remember my childhood being bad in any way and I loved my dad, but tmy two main memories about him were 1) when he threw out some of my toys because of reasons I still don't know and 2) when he lied to me about getting ice cream. She's still kind of affected by it, whereas I don't really feel much at all.

The whole Church thing was crazy though. My mom said it was the second biggest funeral she's ever been to, the first being for my Grandpa Roti who was Sheriff Deputy of Chicago for quite some time. There was a massive banquet hall and probably hundreds of people. We even got a handwritten card from Mayor Daley.

I've still not cried about him dying. It's not that I don't miss him, it's just that the time I would have normally spent mourning was mostly spent in one form or another of denial. I've since gotten much more upset over the passing of other family members.

[celestialcharm]

My first ever experience with death was when my uncle died. We were close. I was in grade 4 then so it was 1999 or 1998. I remember like it was yesterday. He was really sick in the hospital with some form of cancer or lukemia. We visited him that same day he passed away because my mom had some kind of dream that told us we should go visit him. So anyways, my parents, sisters, brother and I were watching tv in the tv room. We were having a good time when the phone rang. My dad answered it and he said that my uncle might not go through the night. Everyone got silent. Then in about half an hour or so the phone rang again. my dad answered it, talked a bit and hung up. He then said "That's it. Uncle Cecil is gone." those were his exact words. My eyes are starting to fill with tears writing this. :animecry:

[Panda]

My first experience with death was when my uncle died from cancer. I was 5 years old and I really didn't understand the situation. We had gone to visit my uncle and his family in California, which later I found out that it was because it was going to be the last time. We went to Disneyland and did a bunch of family stuff together. When we made it back to Washington state we got a call a week later to say he had past away. We then turned around and went back to California for the funeral. The day my uncle died was the birthday of his youngest son. I don't remember being sad or anything since I didn't understand what was going on.

For me the first time a death really got to me was when I was about 14. A little boy whom I would take care of in the church nursery drowned in the lake behind his house. His mom thought his dad was watching him...and vice versa. He ended up wandering out of the backdoor that was open to let some fresh air in and he fell in the lake.

The funeral was heart wrenching. There was this tiny white casket up front with flowers and balloons that said "We'll Miss You'" and over the PA system they were playing kid songs. I cried my eyes out. At the cemetary they parents had a bunch of balloon and they cut just one free. Just thinking about it makes me sad.

For me when someone who has lived a full long life passes on it seems ok. They got to do all the things they wanted. But when a little one dies, it just doesn't seem fair.

[Ozymandius Jones]

[COLOR=DarkOrange]My first real expierience with death was when I was ten. One of my best friends at the church my dad pastored at had an older sister who everyone adored. She was really nice; I can't remember a single person ever saying a single bad thing about her. Ever.

One morning before church, my dad got a phone call, and left the house, looking very worried. I remember waking up and seeing him leaving, and then falling back asleep. It ws very early, like 2 or something.

The next morning, my mom came into my room, and told me this lady had died. I don't remember much else about it, except that apparently she just...collapsed. I remember it mostly, though, because it was the first time I ever saw my dad cry.

The only death there has been in my family that I can remember was my great uncle...he died on Thanksgiving; the whole family was at my grandmother's, and the phone rang at two in the morning...by that time, I was old enough to realize that if the phone rings at two in the morning, it's never a good thing.

My brother, sister and two cousins, however, just knew that they were awake, it was the middle of the night, wasn't this so [i]cool[/i]? It the first time I ever wished I could go back to being a little kid, because I was the only kid who knew what was going on...all the grownups were in the other room with grandma. All the other kids thought it was fun...and I was the only one sad. [/COLOR]

[Hevn]

[COLOR=Purple][SIZE=1]I've experienced death loads of times before. My grandfathers, my baby cousin, our dog and others. I cried a bit when they died but mostly because I felt like it was the right thing to do. I never cried over death because I felt like it. [B][COLOR=Plum]Not until my two kittens died.[/COLOR][/B] >.<

When our dog died I was actually laughing a bit at my mom for crying so much. I mean, I loved the dog but not too much that I'd cry so much. Then my two sisters got kitties and somehow, I managed to get close and all lovey-dovey to them. I let them sleep on my bed and my obsessive-compulsiveness with animals' fur was slowly forgotten. Then when they died, I just felt hurt and cried so much every night for four days. I didn't know I was capable of crying like that. I mean, they're cats. I was lucky my mom didn't laugh at me.
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[Sol-Blade]

[COLOR=DarkRed]My first experience with death, was when I was only 9 years old. I had a next door neighbor, a very young woman of 21 years. Her name was Alyssa. I thought she was the nicest, most beautiful woman in the world. I would always spend my days with her.

Anyways, eventually she started dating this guy...who was really just an a-hole from the start. Well I knew something was up, as she began to look like...for lack of a better word, crap...with dirty clothes on and just basically not being clean. Plus, she had plenty of bruises that started to appear. I overheard my mother talking to her (They were good friends), and she kept saying how she should leave that man, but Alyssa insisted that she loved him and he loved her...

Well, three weeks later, as seeing her like this became an everyday occurance, I saw something that really scarred me for life. A day or two before this, Alyssa had disappeared. No one knew where she went, and her boyfriend had split. Well, I was at a local park with some friends and we were playing a game of football. There were these bushes that lined the park, never thought anything of them. One play, I had jumped over the bushes and I had discovered a body. Yes, yes it was Alyssa's body. Her face was just, completely ripped apart. The only way I recognized her was by the tattoo she had on the back of her neck.

Well of course, I ran home screaming. I just left my friends there, confused. Anyways, when I got home I had told my parents what I had found, and they called the police. As soon as they found her, there was a search out for her boyfriend. They never did catch him.

So yes, it was a tragic loss...as it was my first time I had ever lost someone to death. Not just any death too, one that was not deserved, or justified. I still hold so much anger for that man, but alas...that was ages ago. ;)[/COLOR]

[Guest Alchemist]

I have been lucky to never loose anybody close to me but I looked at my next door neighbors body as they brought her out, her boyfriend had slit her throat. She was cool she liked anime alot. I myself have come very close to dying, I was playing with my katana and slip with it, it grazed the collar of my turtle neck. that turter neck kept mefrom dying, I have never gotten rid of it.
You and I have almost got the same story SOL-Blade

[elfpirate]

[b][size=1]My first real experience with death was when I was about 10 or 11 years old.[/size][/b]

[b][size=1]I was doing that door-to-door sales thing for a fundraiser at my school, and knocked on my neighbor's door to peddle some nasty confection or another, and heard a lot of crashing and bumping around in her apartment.[/size][/b]

[b][size=1]Two days later, they were dragging her corpse out of there, and the cops (or coroner--I don't quite recall) said that she had been strangled to death... about two days before.[img]http://skins.hotbar.com/skins/mailskins/em/050103/050103shock_prv.gif[/img][/size][/b]

[b][size=1]I found out later that the man who had murdered her was a serial killer (I saw his profile on America's Most Wanted). She was his second kill, and by the time AMW profiled him, he had killed about 10 more women. Last I heard, they hadn't caught him yet. Scary![/size][/b]


[b][size=1]As far as losing people who are close to me... um... sorry, I know that's what this thread was supposed to be about, but I just can't go into that. I don't have the heart for it. [img]http://skins.hotbar.com/skins/mailskins/em/033102/033102broken_prv.gif[/img][/size][/b]