Writing Less Than Hero [PG]

[Raiyuu]

[size=1][color=Red][b]?Ozy, my powers are rubbish.?[/b]

Ozymandius Jones sighed and twisted the magnifier out of her eye, placing the screwdriver carefully down on her workbench next to the gizmo she?d been examining.

[b]?Your powers are not rubbish. Every teenage boy in Otaku City would kill to do what you can do.?[/b]

This didn?t seem to cheer up Blackjack, who slumped onto a stool on the opposite side of the bench, a dejected look on his face.

[b]?That?s half the problem. Have you seen how all the heroines look at me? Like they?re not sure I haven?t been perving on them while they suit up.?[/b]

Ozy raised one eyebrow sceptically at the black-suited superhero. He raised his hands defensively.

[b]?It?s true! I swear, Lady Katana scowls at me like I?m lower than the dirt on her whiskers.?[/b]

Steepling her fingers, Ozy fixed Blackjack with a level stare.

[b]?Ignoring for a moment,?[/b] she began, [b]?the fact that Lady Katana would give you the scratching of your life if she heard you suggest she had dirty whiskers, let?s examine why your powers are not rubbish. Think about how useful they can be in a combat situation, for example.?[/b]

[b]?Well, defence is fine, I suppose. No one can ever hit me. But I?ve got no offensive capabilities. As soon as I get in close and land a blow, they know where I am, and once they?ve got hold of me I?m up the creek.? A wry grin formed on his face. ?But escape and evasion? I?ve got it sorted. When it comes to running away, I?m second to none.?[/b]

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The mayor?s office was high up on the tenth floor of the Otaku City Central Precinct. It was richly decorated in deep burgundies and emerald greens, with luxuriant gold drapes and a cream carpet you could lose an army of plushies in. The room was long and rectangular, with the leather-padded door at one end and the mayor?s heavy mahogany desk at the other, a massive expanse of carpet to trek across for anyone that wanted an audience. Right behind the desk was an impressive picture window that took up the entire wall, offering a breathtaking view of the skyscrapers and busy, cosmopolitan streets of uptown Otaku City.

Dagger found the décor to be tacky and the window to be impractical. It had been replaced no less than seventeen times since the last mayor had ordered it installed. The mayor, with all the influence the position held, was always going to be a target for super-crime, and supervillains liked to make an entrance.

She re-read the memo.

[font=Century Gothic][color=Black][i]Dear Madam Mayor,
We, the executive board of the Scorpion Corporation, would like once more to bring to your attention the rising levels of super-crime in our fair city. With this sorry state of affairs in mind, we would respectfully ask you once again to consider our application for increased public funding for the endeavours of our company?[/i][/color][/font]

The shredder whirred as she fed it the memo. [i][b]How many times,[/b][/i] she wondered absent-mindedly, [i][b]do I have to tell those corporate leeches that if they want public funding, they?re going to have to tell me what it is that their company actually does?[/b][/i]

Lowering her head to the intercom, she pressed the button to call for her secretary. Before she could open her mouth?

[i][b][size=2]Ka-BOOM![/size][/b][/i]

A massive wall of sound and light flung her clear over her desk to land flat on her face in the shagpile. Her ears rang and she could feel tiny shards of broken glass pattering down around her like hail.

A plushie in combats and camo paint stared, startled, at her for a few seconds, before disappearing silently into the white jungle.

Shaking her head, Dagger raised herself up off the floor and looked towards the window. [b]?That?s eighteen times,?[/b] she said accusingly to the figure standing triumphantly on her desk. [b]?You again? Don?t you ever get tired??[/b]

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[b]?Okay, name one person with powers cooler than yours.?

?Oh, that?s easy. Umm ? you know ? Saishi! That?s it. She?s got that whole fireball-hurling thing.?

?? All right, I?ve got to admit that?s pretty cool.?

?Hey! I thought you were supposed to be making me feel better about myself.?

?You?re not exactly making it easy!?[/b]

At the back of Ozy?s cluttered workshop was a television. Mounted on top was a device that looked like a box of multicoloured noodles with an RHF aerial jammed in lopsidedly and a bunch of mismatched knobs, from cookers, radios and other assorted electronic paraphernalia, stuck on any old where. A massive blue spark abruptly arced from the aerial to the TV set, which crackled into life on the OB News Network.

[font=Century Gothic][color=Black][i][b]?? the infamous supervillain is even now holding the mayor hostage atop the Central Precinct, and is demanding that control of the City be handed over immediately to him if she is to return alive. Mention was also made in his address of the handing over of all sexah ladies to his personal jurisdiction, though as yet it is unclear whether this is a condition of the mayor?s safe return??[/b][/i][/color][/font]

Without taking her eyes from the TV, Ozy reached across the workbench and pulled Blackjack towards her by the logo on the front of his super-suit. [b]?Look,?[/b] she said sternly, turning to frown at him, [b]?this is not the time to be having a crisis of confidence. Take this?[/b] ? she placed the device she?d been adjusting earlier in his hand ? [b]?it should take his mind off the mayor for long enough that you can grab her and be on your way. Now get going!?[/b]

Blackjack glanced at the gizmo and grinned. [b]?You?re the best, Ozy.?[/b]

[b]?Go!?[/b]

In the blink of an eye, Blackjack had disappeared from view. The door of the workshop opened and shut. Ozy shook her head despairingly and grabbed another device to work on.

[b]?That boy has issues??

[/b]
[/color][/size] [center][size=1][color=Red][color=DarkGreen]The first couple of chapters for this story are just going to be setting the scene and establishing the setting and the style, so the Scorpion Corporation members themselves won't appear for a while longer.

If anyone isn't happy with the part I've given them, feel free to verbally harangue me about it; equally, if you want a cameo, let me know here and I'll try and write you in! I have plenty of villains and not enough heroes at the moment. Be sure to say what kind of superpower you think you would have, just in case I don't know you well enough to make them up myself.

(I already know what powers I'm giving some of you - I've been reading the "What superpower would you have?" thread in the Lounge...)

Also, if anyone wants to make me a post background for this, I'd be very appreciative - they make these threads look much more professional, I think, but I'm no good at graphical work (and I also haven't actually worked out [b]how[/b] to put my posts in tables yet, so any advice would be helpful).
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[Ezekiel]

[SIZE=1]Excellent stuff! I got fireball hurling, hurrah! It would probably be easier if you stuck with calling me Saishi, too, just for less confusion ^_^; I'm honoured I was in the first bit of this story and it really is quite excellent, I enjoyed it immensely.

I also think you pulled Ozy off brilliantly, you got her just right. Heh. She seems scary.

...

*hides*[/SIZE]

[Ozymandius Jones]

[COLOR=DarkOrange]Scary?

....


I seem scary? I love me! Hahaha! I'm like...Q! Or Norman! Fun with gadgets!

I am sooooo sorry I didn't comment on this before now, but I didn't see it before now. Finals = d00m.

I love it thus far, and not only because you made me cool ^__^.

Can't wait to see a next part and a next appearence of a random OB member. [/COLOR]

[Arcadia]

[size=1]Man, super heroes are the best. This thread reminds me of how much I miss hero, heh. Very awesome so far, and very well done. The one thing I really like about your writing is that the dialogue always seems very witty and natural. Good stuff. ^_^

Poor Dagger, though. Eventually you'd think there'd have to be some kind of insurance for that kind of thing.[/size]

[Raiyuu]

[size=1][color=Red]Small-time villains kept to the streets; the evil elite had the rooftops. There was a kind of unspoken caste system about it: if a bad guy tried to conduct business atop Otaku City?s skyscrapers before he was a made man, the other villains would take him away somewhere for a ?quiet word? before the heroes? red phones or sky-signals even started booting up.

The city centre was all high-risers: office blocks and massive leisure conglomerates and casinos and blocks of flats. The buildings got shorter and shorter the closer you got to suburbia and the outskirts, so from side-on the whole city resembled a massive bell-curve.

Blackjack preferred it when criminals kept to the outskirts. There wasn?t as far to fall.

His jet-black bike wove through the late-night traffic on the main highway through Otaku Central, headlights and brakelights reflecting liquidly in the mirror-polished surface. The bike was simultaneously his pride and joy and his saving grace: it was the only thing that allowed him to keep up with the airborne heroes when it came to reaching crime scenes. There was always a lot of traffic in Otaku City, and the heroes that had tried Batman-style rocket cars had discovered that they so rarely got a stretch of road long and open enough to use the booster, it wasn?t worth the maintenance and fuel costs. The bike allowed for weaving between lanes, and Blackjack considered it a worthwhile investment, even if he had had his share of scrapes and near misses.

As he jinked out to pass a supertanker right next to the barrier, the Central Precinct hove into view. A massive grid of light superimposed on the night sky, the Precinct housed malls, coffee bars, social clubs and seedy pool halls, as well as the City?s executive offices on the five penthouse levels. The Mayor and her staff occupied the uppermost floor, and the supervillains loved it; from her office it was only a short flight, or shimmy up a grappling line, or websling, to the roof: the highest and most ostentatious monologuing spot in town.

As the supertanker?s grimy lardbucket of a driver honked his horn at the bike roaring underneath his offside mirror, he was drowned out by the [i]whuck-whuck-whuck[/i] of rotor blades. A police helicopter, flying low, thundered over the freeway towards the Precinct. There were already spotlight vans set up on the roadside, picking out the figures balanced precariously atop the building. The ?copter took up a hovering position above the building, and yet another spotlight flooded from its underbelly to further silhouette the villain and his victim.

Blackjack swung the bike into an alley that ran alongside the Precinct, his knee lowered almost to the floor as he leaned into the tight corner at high speed. He leaped off it before it had stopped moving, pulling the keys out of the ignition; as he did so, the handlebars snapped to a central position, the brakes slammed on and the kickstand flipped out from underneath, neatly catching the machine as it began to topple.

Blackjack mentally thanked Ozy again for the modifications she?d made to his vehicle, and started to race up the iron spiral stairs of the Precinct?s fire exit.

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[b]?No chief ? no, he?s still demanding control of the city, chief. No chief, we?re still no further on that issue. Whenever we mention the word ?sexah,? he just starts sort of rambling to himself, chief. Mostly about how, um, ?sexah? he is, chief. Well, we?ll just have to work on the assumption that the ladies form part of his demands, chief. We can?t afford to make the wrong assumption. Hmm? Yes, the lads?ve sent out the signal, chief. I can see it right now. He should be along shortly. Over and out.?[/b]

DI Leofski sighed, inaudibly over the ?copter?s whuckering. The Dragon Warrior?s demands were the same every time, as were his methods. He rarely tried to actually act on his threats and generally just stood on the roof with the Mayor and made a big impressive scene until the first superhero to turn up came along and foiled him. As a criminal psychologist, it was DI Leofski?s professional opinion that the Dragon Warrior just wanted the attention. That, or he had a crush on Madam Dagger. He certainly seemed to be holding her pretty tight. And it was DI Leofski's professional opinion that that lady was unimpressed.

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[b]?Dragon Warrior!?[/b]

The green-clad villain turned, his luxurious cape swirling impressively in the wind. His emerald armour gleamed in the harsh, white beams of the police searchlights.

[b]?We meet again!?[/b] yelled Blackjack, struggling to be heard over the whirling rotors. He saw the Dragon Warrior?s brow furrow through the eye-slit in his medieval-looking helmet.

[b]?We do??[/b] the villain replied, puzzled. His voice boomed easily over the racket. [b]?Wait, maybe ? did you give Lady Katana the assist that one time? Yeah, you?re ? no, it?s gone. Are you another telekinetic? I hate telekinetics.?[/b]

One advantage of only being a small-time superhero: the villains can never remember what your powers are. It had worked to Blackjack?s advantage before. He caught the Mayor?s eye; she looked distinctly bored, and one of her hands kept batting away the Warrior?s roving fingers, almost on autopilot. Blackjack supposed even a situation like this could become dull, if experienced seventeen or eighteen times.

[b]?Yeah, that?s me,?[/b] he replied, a little wearily. [b]?Let?s get this over with, shall we? My self-esteem?s too low for trash-talk tonight.?[/b]

[b]?What do you ? ?[/b] The green knight?s eyes widened behind his visor as Blackjack pulled out Ozy?s device. It looked a little like a staple-gun, with Ozy?s distinctive manufacturer?s hallmark printed down one side.

[b]?Too sexah for your cape, DW,?[/b] Blackjack yelled as he pulled the trigger. He?d spent the whole bike-ride thinking that one up.

A small but chunky, button-shaped device with spiked legs flew out of the Ozy Patent Avatar Disruptor and latched itself onto the Dragon Warrior?s chest. His form flickered briefly into grey static before changing ?

[b]?NOOOO!?[/b] he yelled, suitably melodramatically, tearing at the sequined party dress with his free hand. Dagger flinched as the shriek sounded right by her ear, and she brought one stilettoed heel down on the villain?s now-unarmoured foot. He squealed even louder and began to hop up and down, precariously close to the edge of the roof.

[b]?Come with me, ma?am!?[/b] Blackjack yelled to the Mayor, holding out his hand. While he had no doubt she could easily get back to her office by herself, he was a superhero, and certain things were expected. She looked exasperated, but took the hand, and with a mammoth effort that made his head spin, he made the both of them disappear.

As he ran with her across the Precinct roof towards the fire escape, Dagger looked, intrigued at her now-invisible hand.

[b]?So,?[/b] she asked absently, [b]?how many supergirls have you seen naked??

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[/color][/color][/size] [center][size=1][color=DarkGreen]Sorry this instalment took so long, I've been doing Open University assignments.
Apologies straight away to Dragon Warrior, who I'm sure isn't really a massive lech, but I wanted the word 'sexah' in there and it all sort of grew from there...
There are still plenty of openings for cameos! Scorp Corp people, you're all in, but anyone else is also welcome - I still need a load of superheroes and a Chief of Police.
As always feedback is welcome and necessary for improvement of services, so let's hear it, folks!
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[Ozymandius Jones]

[COLOR=DarkOrange][QUOTE=Blackjack][size=1][color=Red]

[b]?NOOOO!?[/b] he yelled, suitably melodramatically, tearing at the sequined party dress with his free hand. Dagger flinched as the shriek sounded right by her ear, and she brought one stilettoed heel down on the villain?s now-unarmoured foot. He squealed even louder and began to hop up and down, precariously close to the edge of the roof.
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*snerk*

DW in a sequined party dress...OW! Blackjack, you just KILLED my BRAIN!

And I now feel the urge to design a logo for myself...hmm...

I really like your writing style. It's very good, smooth and easy to read. And Otaku City sounds like Paradigm City from Big O...

Tres cool![/COLOR]

[Mykul]

It's masterful! The whole thing is just genuinely masterful! There is not one shred of negative criticism that I (or anyone with a fully functional brain) could stick to this piece.

The dialouge is rich and funny.

The sensory detail is complete and...sensory.

The transitions between scenes are without flaw and make sense.

And incorporating real users into a story like this is just a bonny good idea!

I know I don't post around the boards too often (attributed to shyness around strangers), but I am here reading something everyday. You certainly don't have to, but I think it would be pretty nifty if I was written into this. You can place me where ever, it's your choice as the author. (MehrLicht could be turned into a first name last name, maybe? Also, MehrLicht means "more light"...just in case that helps)

[Blayze]

[SIZE=1]Very nice thus far, Blackjack. I'm liking the idea, very original using OB users as superheroes.

The writing style is brilliant. I just wish I was as prolific as you. Maybe I will get it from the genes, or maybe not, who knows.

Perhaps I could be written into the story, or perhaps you would prefer to leave me out of it completely. This choice, I leave up to you.

Thank you, and goodnight.[/SIZE]

[Raiyuu]

[size=1][color=Red][b]?Dragon Warrior, this is Detective Inspector Leofski of the OCPD. You are completely surrounded. There is nowhere to go. Give yourself up and we won?t be forced to use harsh measures.?
[/b]
DI Leofski clicked his megaphone off and sighed. The Dragon Warrior was going to slip away, just like every supervillain did every time they were nearly apprehended. He knew this for a fact. But it made him feel good to go through the motions anyway.

As he watched, the Warrior finally managed to rip off whatever it was that had made his avatar malfunction ? DI Leofski was willing to bet the images were all over the press already ? and, after a blur of static, his green armour flickered back into existence. Only, the villain was still standing on one leg after Madam Dagger?s perfectly executed stomping, and the sudden extra weight of the armour must have overbalanced him, because he stumbled, his arms windmilled crazily, and he toppled head-over-heels off the roof of Otaku City Central Precinct.

[b]?Unit AS1 to ground crew, we have a plummeter, repeat ground crew, be prepared to intercept falling supervillain at your end!?[/b] DI Leofski roared into his helmet mike as the helicopter pilot began diving to keep track of the rapidly-receding figure with the searchlight.

[i][b]Wait for it ? wait for it ? NOW![/b][/i]

DI Leofski impressed even himself sometimes. The lads back at the station were often awestruck at his ability to accurately predict the actions of the supervillains he studied, and he?d been asked more than once whether it was a super power. He?d string them along, sometimes, but he knew it wasn?t. His job was to know how these people thought. It just happened he was incredibly good at his job.

A pair of shining, emerald-green wings sprung grandly out of the Dragon Warrior?s back, and he swooped up a thermal, past the helicopter, cackling maniacally as he passed through DI Leofski?s field of vision. He?d swung the hang-glider around the other side of the Precinct and out of sight before the Inspector could even predict he?d do it.

[i][b]And he woulda got away with it too, if it wasn?t for that pesky kid and his pesky gadgets?[/b][/i]

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The Dragon Warrior was one of those [i]really [/i]annoying villains. The ones with endless ranks of henchmen.

Dagger stood in the middle of the roof, casually checking her next day?s appointments in her Filofax, while Blackjack relied on the distraction she provided and the innate stupidity of henchmen to pick off the Dragon Force one by one.

He turned from watching one green-Lycra-clad idiot plummet over the balustrade to see another two drawing dangerously close to the Mayor, and sprinted across the flat roof, invisible, to knock them both out cold with single blows to the head.

[i][b]At least I know I?m a match for these ones?[/b][/i]

[b]?Is that all of them yet??[/b] Dagger enquired. [b]?Only I?d rather not stay too late at the office tonight.?[/b]

[b]?Well, I don?t see any ??[/b] Blackjack?s mouth froze in the middle of the word ?more?, as he looked back the way the pair had come. They?d made the easy jump from the Precinct roof to the neighbouring warehouse, and from there to the flat concrete paving and chunky steel radio masts of a disused office block, but shuffling into view around one of these masts were six more Dragon Force. They were shuffling because, between them, they were carrying the weirdest-looking piece of equipment Blackjack had ever seen. And [i]he?d [/i]been in the workshop of Ozymandius Jones.

The thing looked like the lovechild of a photocopier and an industrial sewer-pipe that had conducted their illicit relations in a washing machine full of broken coathangers. A tube of huge diameter protruded from a blocky metallic base, and metal conducting-spikes peppered the whole affair like hedgehog spines.

[b]?Erm ? do you know what that is??[/b] Blackjack looked around. A minute crease of worry had appeared on the Mayor?s forehead.

[b]?No idea,?[/b] he replied, [b]?but it?s safe to bet it?ll hurt. Come on, this way!?[/b]

He grabbed Dagger?s hand and started running in the opposite direction to the thing. He was starting to get fatigued ? this wasn?t going as smoothly as he?d hoped ? and he was running as fast as the Mayor could keep up with in her high heels, but he still just about managed to muster the strength to make them both vanish again. Beads of sweat broke out invisibly on his forehead.

He risked a glance backward as they neared the balustrade. The Dragons had put the thing down and were bustling around it, pulling out leads and clamping massive crocodile clips to a radio mast.

[i][b]?Jump!?[/b][/i] he yelled, and they both leapt over the balustrade towards the roof of the next building ?

- which gave way underneath them ?

- sending them both plummeting down, through a dusty darkness that smelled of woodchip and fresh paint and masonry, to land on something soft in a heap of rubble and bits of ceiling.

Blackjack coughed. Dagger sat up.

The lights switched on. They both shielded their eyes.

[b]?Perfect,?[/b] said a honeyed female voice, [b]?Mayor and scapegoat, all in one pretty little package.?[/b]

As his pupils shrank, Blackjack started to make out the room they?d landed in. It took up the office block?s entire penthouse floor, and it had fallen into disrepair; swathes of chipboard had replaced the windows, the bare boards of the floor were littered with the debris of their crash through the ceiling, and the entire space was lit by bare sixty-watt bulbs hanging from lengths of splintered electrical flex.

But amongst the squalor, somebody had placed a massive mahogany conference table. The crashmat he and Dagger had landed on was up against one wall of the room, and the woman that had spoken, seated at the head of the table, was directly under the banner that hung on the opposite wall. A huge expanse of silk, it depicted [/color][/size][size=1][color=Red]?Delacroix?[/color][/size][size=1][color=Red]a stylised black scorpion on a blood-red background.

Every chair around the table was filled. And to his horror, Blackjack realised he recognised most of their faces.

[b]"Delacroix??[/b] he exclaimed, eyes boggling at the red-haired woman. [b] ?Neuvox? ULX? [i]Trib?[/i] What?s this all about? What are you all - ?[/b]

[b]?I might have known you parasites were behind all this,?[/b] Dagger cut in coolly. [b] ?Tired of applying for funding, were you? Thought you?d take it by force??[/b] She smiled wryly. [b]?The Otaku City government don?t negotiate with hostage-takers, you know.?[/b]

[b]?You underestimate us, Madam Mayor,?[/b] the hooded figure of the woman at the head of the table replied evenly. [b]?We, the executive board of the Scorpion Corporation, have goals far more complex than simple financial gain.?[/b] A small huff that might have been a laugh escaped the cowl.

[b]?And you, Goddess,?[/b] Dagger continued, regardless. [b]?You had to be right up there, at the top of the pile, didn?t you??[/b]

[b]?This is boring,?[/b] said the honeyed voice. [b]?Jay, Riddler, prepare them.?[/b]

[b]?What ? prepare? Prepare how??[/b] Blackjack babbled as two business-suited figures rose from their high-backed chairs and advanced. [b]?Delacroix! What?s happening? Why?d she call you Jay??[/b]

The woman he knew as Delacroix halted at the foot of the mat.

[b]?Jay is my name,? [/b]she replied. [b]?My [i]real [/i]name. But perhaps you would prefer ??[/b]

As she spoke, Blackjack recoiled in horror. Her skin was beginning to ripple, crack, peeling back and reconfiguring, until her appearance had changed entirely. Though her hair was still red, it was cut in short-cropped spikes, and her face was sharper, meaner, her figure leaner. A small pair of glasses rested on the bridge of her nose.

She and Blackjack spoke together.

[b]??Saishi.?[/b]

She morphed again and again.

[b]?Or maybe Gabriel? Methuselah? Crucifix? Imi??[/b]

Blackjack hardly felt the dart entering his chest from the pistol she was wielding. He hardly noticed Dagger falling unconscious at his side after similar treatment at the hands of ^.^, or ? Riddler, Goddess has called him. His head was spinning too much anyway, and it only spun more as he spiralled into blackness.


[/color][/size] [center][size=1][color=Red][color=DarkGreen]Hee ... that was fun. I got to write some proper supervillain trash-talk.
Unfortunately the Scorp Corp forum's been quiet for so long that a lot of people won't get the references now. Luckily I managed to find out enough people's Scorp Corp usernames before I forgot the URL.
I wonder how you pronounce ^.^ ...?
I haven't worked out superpowers for a few Scorp Corp people yet. If I can get a few more then I'll be able to just gloss over the rest, but so far the only people whose powers I know are Delacroix, Trib and Rei_Man.
People that have asked for cameos, you'll get them - this was an exposition-heavy installment so I couldn't think of anywhere to fit you in. Next time...
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[Ezekiel]

[SIZE=1]Man, you made me totally badass....I love this to the extreme.

I adore the way you're writing is such a simple style and yet you get so much detail put into it. This really is a very masterful piece of story.

I can't wait to read the next instalment. ^_^[/SIZE]