How straight are you?

[skedy]

[COLOR=Teal][SIZE=1][FONT=Lucida Sans Unicode] Hey all. After reading [i]Coming Out[/i] by gothicserenity I started wondering just how many OBers, and their peers, are something other than straight. I'm Bi persoanlly and have a couple of gay friends. This is common knowledge in my social circles but it is often not. Have you had any 'awkward' social situations arise as a result of people not knowing you or your friend's sexuality?[/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]

[elfpirate]

[b][size=2]When I find myself even [i]remotely [/i]interested in things pertaining to my sexuality, I am definitely attracted to both genders. [/size][/b]
[size=2][/size]
[size=2][quote name='skedy][color=teal][font=Lucida Sans Unicode]Have you had any 'awkward' social situations arise as a result of people not knowing you or your friend's sexuality?[/font'][/color][/quote][/size]
[b][/b]
[b][size=2][i]Way[/i] too many to count, but by far the [i]most[/i] awkward was when I ran into my lover's mother at the pub, and was chatting with her about why they let me into the pub to begin with since I wasn't old enough to be there legally[/size] [color=blue](she had no idea that I was more than just "a friend" to her kid)[/color][size=2]....and all of a sudden, a[/size][/b][b][size=2]n acquaintance of mine (a dull-witted acquaintance, at that) staggers up to us and says something to the effect of "You look rather cheery tonight-- did you and _______ get a quicky in before work?"[/size][/b]
[b][size=2][/size][/b]
[b][size=2]At that moment, my S.O.'s mom's face went from "happy-to-see-you" to a look of shock and horror. I could have died, I was so embarrassed.[/size][/b]
[b][size=2][/size][/b]
[b][size=2]Before I could say anything, the stupid acquaintance says "Oh! I'm sorry, Sherri-- I'm sure you didn't wanna hear about your kid gettin' it on with _______ (me). How do you feel about them hooking up and being together for this long, anyway?"[/size][/b]
[b][size=2][/size][/b]
[b][size=2]So "Random Idiot Acquaintance" had outed both me and my lover (at the time) to my lover's[i] mom[/i]... and unfortunately while I was sitting right there.[/size][/b]
[b][size=2][/size][/b]
[b][size=2]I quickly excused myself and left, because I could swear that Sherri's fingers were repositioning themselves on the beer bottle she was holding and that I was about to eat glass and fist.[/size][/b]
[b][size=2][/size][/b]
[b][size=2]It was awkward... and it remained awkward (and very very frightening) to be around Sherri for some time after that.[/size][/b]
[b][size=2][/size][/b]
[b][size=2]But, it was all good in the end, because Sherri decided that I was the best thing that ever happened to her child, because after that, her child felt free to open up to her for the first time and they became closer than they had ever been. She thanked me for making it possible for her child to stop pretending to be something they weren't and finally be happy...[/size][/b]
[b][size=2][/size][/b]
[b][size=2]Aaaaaaaaaaawww-- isn't that sweet?:D [/size][/b]

[DuoMax]

Oh, man elfpirate. I would've died if that had happened to me. >.< I can't say I have any moments like that.

Oh, and I find m'self attracted to guys and girls.

[elfpirate]

[quote name='DuoMax']Oh, man elfpirate. I would've died if that had happened to me. >.< .[/quote]
:animesmil [b]I thought I was [i]going [/i] to-and it usually takes [i]a lot[/i] to embarrass me.[/b]

[b]Every time I went to their house after that, I would get horrible panic attacks. I seriously thought she was going to kill me. It took her almost six months to get over it and decide that she accepted me again.:animesigh [/b]

[AzureWolf]

[COLOR=blue]So, do people here think sexual preference is discrete, or is there a spectrum (was it Freud who said that)? What I mean is, do you think when one person likes girls, that person only likes girls, or just likes boys significantly less. And then there are bisexuals, who would be in the middle of the spectrum, liking both genders equally.

Do you get what I'm asking? O_o Just putting in more things to discuss, heh.[/COLOR]

[elfpirate]

[QUOTE=AzureWolf][color=blue]So, do people here think sexual preference is discrete, or is there a spectrum (was it Freud who said that)? What I mean is, do you think when one person likes girls, that person only likes girls, or just likes boys significantly less. And then there are bisexuals, who would be in the middle of the spectrum, liking both genders equally.

Do you get what I'm asking? O_o Just putting in more things to discuss, heh.[/color][/QUOTE][b]I'm sure that everyone can tell whether a person is attractive or not-- regardless of that person's gender, but I do think that as far as sexual preference for dating/sexual contact,and love it's pretty straightforward.[/b]

[b]A heterosexual would [i]only[/i] choose a mate of the opposite sex, a homosexual-only one of the same sex, and a bisexual would choose either.[/b]

[b]I think the only one that falls into a spectrum is the bisexual.[/b]

[b]But I'm strictly referring to choice of partners, mates, and whom they are capable of falling in love with, not just having sex with... that's a whole different issue.[/b]

[b]I'm not sure if I really understood your question, but I THINK that's what you were asking.[/b]

[DarkShippo]

[QUOTE=AzureWolf][COLOR=blue]So, do people here think sexual preference is discrete, or is there a spectrum (was it Freud who said that)? What I mean is, do you think when one person likes girls, that person only likes girls, or just likes boys significantly less. And then there are bisexuals, who would be in the middle of the spectrum, liking both genders equally.

Do you get what I'm asking? O_o Just putting in more things to discuss, heh.[/COLOR][/QUOTE]

I belive that bisexual is Defined as being attracted to both sexes.

[2010DigitalBoy]

I consider myself antisexual. I don't try to get dates, but I don't make a big deal about it. Nobody has ever asked me out (at least not since 5th grade) and I have never asked anyone out. Maybe it's because people consider me childish. I admit that I act very young in the fact that I hang out and get along with people mostly 2 years younger than me. I have plenty of friends my age, though, but all of them are either really weird, or find my quirkiness neccessary to their existence. I think girls talk good and bad about me behind my back, and I know that 70 percent of all the guys that know my name treat me like a leper. I just don't think boyfriends and girlfriends are neccessary. I have friends that are boys and friends that are girls, but all of them are just friends.

Does this cause akward moments? Well, because nobody seems to understand this, everyone calls me "gay" and things like that, but while I have no disrespect for gay people, I am not gay. ANTISEXUAL.

[future girl]

[size=1]They say all people have a time in their lives where they question their sexuality, but I never have. I've always known I like boys, there's something so perfect in my eyes about a man and a woman. It's just beautiful and arousing, the combination of the hard and the soft, the masculine and the feminine. Almost like ying and yang and all that good stuff. As far as awkward moments go the one that comes to mind the most is after having a wonderfully dirty conversation on aim with my then boyfriend I forgot to close the window and fell asleep. My sister went to use the computer and read the conversation. She didn't talk to me for days and when she finally did I got the biggest sermon in my life because she's basically like my mother. So yea, she knows what I'm into which is just really weird...[/size]

[SunfallE]

[QUOTE=AzureWolf][COLOR=blue]So, do people here think sexual preference is discrete, or is there a spectrum (was it Freud who said that)? What I mean is, do you think when one person likes girls, that person only likes girls, or just likes boys significantly less. And then there are bisexuals, who would be in the middle of the spectrum, liking both genders equally.

Do you get what I'm asking? O_o Just putting in more things to discuss, heh.[/COLOR][/QUOTE]

It's hard to say. For myself I find that what attracts me to people is character traits and personality. I have always dated just guys *I'm a girl by the way* but I have run into girls who personality wise were just as attractive as the guys were. *so does that make me bi?* I honestly just don't know if I'm bi or straight. Admittedly I live in a highly religious area so being bisexual or homosexual is highly frowned upon. Hell the state even has laws that say you can be arrested for living with a member of the same sex if you have that type of relationship. *though they don't really enforce it*

I think on some level I proably am bisexual since I get hit on by both guys and girls. I mean I don't try to get their attention but girls are attracted to me too. Sometimes this whole sexuality thing is just downright confusing. :animesigh

[Hevn]

[quote name='AzureWolf][COLOR=blue']What I mean is, do you think when one person likes girls, that person only likes girls, or just likes boys significantly less. And then there are bisexuals, who would be in the middle of the spectrum, liking both genders equally.[/COLOR][/quote]
[COLOR=Purple][SIZE=1]I believe homosexuals are homosexuals. They like other people of the same sex. Heterosexuals are straighter than straight. Bisexuals don't necessarily have to be attracted (sexually or not), to both genders [i]equally[/i]. They might like girls more than boys and vice versa.[/SIZE][/COLOR]

[quote name='ThatOneOddDude']I consider myself antisexual. I don't try to get dates, but I don't make a big deal about it. Nobody has ever asked me out (at least not since 5th grade) and I have never asked anyone out.[/quote]
[COLOR=Purple][SIZE=1]Lol. I don't believe there is such a thing as antisexual. And not getting dates does not necessarily mean you are antisexual. I mean, you must have an object of.. masturbation, as I want to call it. You just can't do it and think of nothing.[/SIZE][/COLOR]

[skedy]

[QUOTE=AzureWolf]
when one person likes girls, that person only likes girls, or just likes boys significantly less. And then there are bisexuals, who would be in the middle of the spectrum, liking both genders equally.[/QUOTE]

[COLOR=Teal][SIZE=1][FONT=Lucida Sans Unicode]I don't think that you can really view sexuality as cleab cut as that. I know a couple of people, both guys and girls, who are straight and never even thought otherwise but there are still members of their sex that they find themselves attracted to. I think it's how far people are willing to go, with members of the same sex, that determines their sexuality. Personally I'm bi but find I'm more attracted to girls than I am guys when it comes to a relationship but I often think some guys are physically more appealing to me.

Then again I also know a lot of people who'd be offended at the suggestion that they are even remotely attracted to a member of the same sex. But the community I live in is pretty open to the idea of same sex partners; a lot of people wouldn't try it for themselves by they accept those around them as equal members of the community. Heck it's more or less a bad thing to judge a same sex couple around here, end up with people being treated much like the couples they insult in other areas. I really feel sorry for SunfallE living in such a restricting community. Oh, and I think its how you feel about the same sex hitting on you that determines how straight you are, not whether they hit on you or not. How do you feel when other girls hit on you SunfallE?[/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]

[Sui Generis]

[color=purple] I really have never had an akward moment, because of my sexuality. Well thats a lie, I've probably had my fair share of them, I just can't seem to recall any memorable ones.

I agree with skedy on what he/she said. I believe it isn't if you get hit on, but rather what you do about it. Because I mean gays will get hit on by the opposite sex, but that doesn't make them straight.

As for myself I'm bi sexual, and I'm pretty lucky about it. Although my parents went effin crazy about it, and 4 years later still are pissed about it, the community itself isn't that condeming about it. A lot of people in my area have came out about their sexuality, and nothing has really changed.

Going to the spectrum question, I really don't think that there is one bisexual person that they can say that they like both girls and boys completely equally. Because both possess different qualities, and people are attracted to these qualities. However, it is completely natural that you are going to be attracted to one quality more than another.

The weird thing that I've noticed is; around here it seems if a person is bisexual they are a lot more open minded towards sexual activity then other people. In other words most bisexuals around here are considered sluts, and I'd almost say its true. I don't know if thats just a coincidence or is a common occurance throughout bisexuals. [/color]

[elfpirate]

[quote name='skedy][color=teal][size=1][font=Lucida Sans Unicode]I don't think that you can really view sexuality as cleab cut as that. I know a couple of people, both guys and girls, who are straight and never even thought otherwise but there are still members of their sex that they find themselves attracted to. I think it's how far people are willing to go, with members of the same sex, that determines their sexuality. Oh, and I think its how you feel about the same sex hitting on you that determines how straight you are, not whether they hit on you or not. ?[/font][/size'][/color][/quote]
[b][color=black]I think that you're wrong, skedy-- I don't think that it has anything to do with how far you're willing to go. [/color][/b]

[b]If that were the case, then virgins (the ones that remain chaste by choice, I mean) would have no sexuality whatsoever, and that's just not the case. I mean, I'm celibate now... but that doesn't make me magically unpreferenced.[/b]

[b]What determines your sexuality is what gender you find yourself desiring sexual and romantic relationships with.[/b]

[b]As I said earlier in this thread, I think that [u]everyone[/u]-regardless of their sexuality-has an idea of who is attractive and who isn't-within both the opposite gender and their own. A guy isn't any less hetero just because he can admit that Johnny Depp is hot. lol[/b]

[quote name='Lalaith Ril][color=purple'] The weird thing that I've noticed is; around here it seems if a person is bisexual they are a lot more open minded towards sexual activity then other people. In other words most bisexuals around here are considered sluts, and I'd almost say its true. I don't know if thats just a coincidence or is a common occurance throughout bisexuals. [/color][/quote]
[b]If you would say that that's true, then you're ignorant. Promiscuity has nothing to do with sexual preference... just irresponsibility and ignorance.[/b]

[Juu]

[size=1]I've always believed that the heart and soul have no gender. Therefore, I would say that I am bisexual. This doesn't mean if I fancy a guy, there's still 'something missing' or that I look at everyone in a sexual way - just that I'm like many, many other people unsure of where they stand, and it's just something I'd rather not waste time thinking about. You can't help who you fall in love with, so what makes you think you can decide which gender?[/size]

[Sui Generis]

[QUOTE=elfpirate]
[b]If you would say that that's true, then you're ignorant. Promiscuity has nothing to do with sexual preference... just irresponsibility and ignorance.[/b][/QUOTE]

[color=purple] I am ignorant to the fact thats what I tried to pose it as a quesiton. In my school, it seems to hold a bearing of truth to it, and I wish you could come to the school and see.

I'm not stating that since so and so is bisexual then they must be sluts, I'm just saying that around here, it seems to be this way. I was wondering if this was just a coincidence or a common occurence. I myself am Bisexual and I'm not calling myself a slut, because frankly I'm really not.

I was just wondering if being bisexual renders the thought of being more open-minded in the context of three somes as well as other scenarios that many heterosexuals find, disgusting or impure.

I really didn't mean to offend you if I did, and after reading how I stated that it does sound like I'm being rather..brash about it and immature in the sense that I stated it. I'm really not trying to label anyone on the subject or say that its a fact, I was attemping (horribly) to see if this was just something with my school or perhaps it was a true fact.

I guess in all reality I was thinking out loud, at the wrong time, and at the wrong place.[/color]

[elfpirate]

[QUOTE=Lalaith Ril][color=purple] I really didn't mean to offend you if I did, and after reading how I stated that it does sound like I'm being rather..brash about it and immature in the sense that I stated it. I'm really not trying to label anyone on the subject or say that its a fact, I was attemping (horribly) to see if this was just something with my school or perhaps it was a true fact.

I guess in all reality I was thinking out loud, at the wrong time, and at the wrong place.[/color][/QUOTE]
[b]I wasn't offended- I was responding to this part of what you posted:

[quote name='Lalaith Ril][color=purple'] In other words most bisexuals around here are considered sluts, and I'd almost say its true. I don't know if thats just a coincidence or is a common occurance throughout bisexuals. [/color][/quote]
[b]You said that you would "almost say it's true". [/b]

[b]While it [i]may[/i] be true that the bisexuals in your area [i]are[/i] sluts- or that you'd almost consider them to be so, it would have nothing to do with their bisexuality... [/b]

[b]It would be ignorant to think that their bisexuality had anything to do with their promiscuity, that's what I was saying.[/b]
[/b]

[SunfallE]

[QUOTE=skedy][COLOR=Teal][SIZE=1][FONT=Lucida Sans Unicode]
Then again I also know a lot of people who'd be offended at the suggestion that they are even remotely attracted to a member of the same sex. But the community I live in is pretty open to the idea of same sex partners; a lot of people wouldn't try it for themselves by they accept those around them as equal members of the community. Heck it's more or less a bad thing to judge a same sex couple around here, end up with people being treated much like the couples they insult in other areas. I really feel sorry for SunfallE living in such a restricting community. Oh, and I think its how you feel about the same sex hitting on you that determines how straight you are, not whether they hit on you or not. How do you feel when other girls hit on you SunfallE?[/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR][/QUOTE]

I guess that's why I wonder about it as being hit on by other girls doesn't bother me. The only reason I have never dated a girl to find out is I absoutly refuse to cheat on someone. If I am dating someone or if I get asked out by someone who is already with someone else, I won't date more than one person at a time. Or someone who is already dating. One of the girls who hit on me was living with another girl and often reffered to the other girl as her partner for life. She was only interested in 'fooling' around and I turned her down as I don't want to be involved with people who will cheat on you. She even wanted me to keep it a secret from the other girl she was living with. Nothing turns me off quicker than finding out a boyfriend is dating someone else at the same time. So I guess the only reason I haven't tried dating a girl is that I've already been dating when I get hit on, or they are already dating. I'm sure there are people who don't consider that cheating, but I personally don't want any part of it. I've seen to many problems arise from that type of situation.

[KittyLynn]

[quote name='Juuthena][size=1']I've always believed that the heart and soul have no gender. Therefore, I would say that I am bisexual. This doesn't mean if I fancy a guy, there's still 'something missing' or that I look at everyone in a sexual way - just that I'm like many, many other people unsure of where they stand, and it's just something I'd rather not waste time thinking about. You can't help who you fall in love with, so what makes you think you can decide which gender?[/size][/quote]


[SIZE=1][COLOR=DimGray][SIZE=2]First before I post, this will be my first post in likeee a billion months =)

Anyways, I agree on everything Juu said, the only genderized component is their body, whether you're attracted physically to girl or boy, down in your soul is where you'll fall in love.[/SIZE][/COLOR][/SIZE]

[AzureWolf]

[COLOR=blue]Lalaith Ril, I don't think you should be the one apologizing. You made a mere observation, and someone tried to argue against it - although I still don't get why. Also, I think your observation has more there than elfpirate is willing to admit.

I too have noticed that bisexuals are usually more open about sex than other people. Maybe bisexuals have a greater sexual drive than the normal person (I think they call that libido)? That could also explain why some (most?) bisexuals have a preference for one gender, but are still attracted to either sex.

I'm not trying to say a strong libido is bad, but it's an interesting idea that sexual drive could be the cause for some (not all) people's bisexual behavior. In other words, so as to not offend someone by some misunderstanding, it could be that some people are bisexuals, and others are bisexuals by a strong sexual drive.[/COLOR]

[skedy]

[QUOTE=elfpirate][b][color=black]I think that you're wrong, skedy-- I don't think that it has anything to do with how far you're willing to go. [/color][/b]

[b]If that were the case, then virgins (the ones that remain chaste by choice, I mean) would have no sexuality whatsoever, and that's just not the case. I mean, I'm celibate now... but that doesn't make me magically unpreferenced.[/b][/QUOTE]


[COLOR=Teal][SIZE=1][FONT=Lucida Sans Unicode] I think you've taken what I meant wrongly elfpirate. I said I think sexuality is determined by how far you are willing to go, not how far you have gone or will go. But I also admit that I phrased what I meant badly and should say that I think it is a large factor in determing ones sexuality and is a huge bearing on how much someone is willing to admit to themselves.

Also, how many people have been at odds with their parents over their sexuality? Mine were pretty cool about it, though they did tend to view bisexuals as slutty because of the people they have known throughout their lives. They were surprised that I said I was bi, however, and not gay.

And I think there is some substance in what Lalaith Ril said. People in my area tend to view bisexuals as 'slutty' because they are more open. I think, as a genreal perception in the public, this fact it true but isn't of the individuals being steroetyped with it. Just because someone is bi, and in theory more open to a larger variety of sexual activities (due to the fact they will have partners of both sexes), doesn't mean they personally will be as promiscuous as the people around them believe them to be. Essentially I believe how free someone is sexually is determined by their own personality.

Taking my self, for instance. I haven't had very many partners but simply because I'm not particularly apt in socially intensive situations. Alot of people would consider my ethics in dealing with partners slutty. I have no problem if two people have sex simply for the fun of it or cause they enjoy it, I don't care if someone pursues a relationship afterwards or not. The two things that tick me off with relationships however, is a lack of trust in one's partner. I hate it when creeps don't trust their girlfriend enough to leave her alone for a couple of hours with some of her guy friends. And I also hate it when people are dishonest with one another in a relationship. If someone does something wrong they should have the guts to tell their partner for better or worse.

I also agree strongly with SunfallE in that it is wrong for someone to cheat on someone else. I find I'm a little more 'open' in this area though. I wouldn't consider it cheating if someone 'slept with' another person while they are in a relationship, or even pursued a relationship with a second person. So long as the partner is aware of and ok with it before the other person pursues such course of action.

A couple of points there hey,

~skedy [/FONT] [/SIZE] [/COLOR]

[SunfallE]

[QUOTE=skedy][COLOR=Teal][SIZE=1][FONT=Lucida Sans Unicode] Also, how many people have been at odds with their parents over their sexuality? Mine were pretty cool about it, though they did tend to view bisexuals as slutty because of the people they have known throughout their lives. They were surprised that I said I was bi, however, and not gay.
[/FONT] [/SIZE] [/COLOR][/QUOTE]

I've never been able to tell my parents I think I'm bisexual because living in the state I do any form of relationship that isn't legal marrage is considered one of the worst sins possible. And my Dad and Mom are both the type to think if you are different you must be a child molester or criminal. :animesigh

[QUOTE=skedy][COLOR=Teal][SIZE=1][FONT=Lucida Sans Unicode] The two things that tick me off with relationships however, is a lack of trust in one's partner. I hate it when creeps don't trust their girlfriend enough to leave her alone for a couple of hours with some of her guy friends. And I also hate it when people are dishonest with one another in a relationship. If someone does something wrong they should have the guts to tell their partner for better or worse.
[/FONT] [/SIZE] [/COLOR][/QUOTE]


I so agree with you on that point. I had one boyfriend like that who couldn't handle my having normal guy friends. And I agree about the being truthfull with one another instead of being dishonest.

[QUOTE=skedy][COLOR=Teal][SIZE=1][FONT=Lucida Sans Unicode] I also agree strongly with SunfallE in that it is wrong for someone to cheat on someone else. I find I'm a little more 'open' in this area though. I wouldn't consider it cheating if someone 'slept with' another person while they are in a relationship, or even pursued a relationship with a second person. So long as the partner is aware of and ok with it before the other person pursues such course of action.

A couple of points there hey,

~skedy [/FONT] [/SIZE] [/COLOR][/QUOTE]

I feel the same way about that too. I have no problem with additional relationships so long as it is agreeded upon by both partners. Which is why I won't do it unless I talk to the other person first. If the girl who hit on me hadn't hid it from her current girlfriend I might have actually been interested. But her dishonesty disgusted me. Until that moment I actually liked her alot. But when I realized what she wanted from me I found I couldn't stand to be around her anymore.

[elfpirate]

[b]This is the last post I'm going to make on this thread, so if anyone else has an issue with my posts or my thoughts on the subject (or just [i]thinks[/i] that they might...*ahem*), feel free to PM me or hop on my IM to discuss it, because I don't want to upset Panda with my filthy pirate mouth again.:p *winks at Panda*[/b]

[b]Before I leave this thread, though, here's part of the reason that I won't be revisiting this thread:[/b]

[quote name='AzureWolf][color=blue']Lalaith Ril, I don't think you should be the one apologizing. You made a mere observation, and someone tried to argue against it - although I still don't get why. Also, I think your observation has more there than elfpirate is willing to admit.[color=#000000][/quote][/color][/color]
[color=blue][color=#000000][/color][/color]
[color=blue][b][color=#000000]Why, pray tell, should either Lalaith Ril or myself be apologizing to the other? [/color][/b][/color]
[color=blue][b][color=#000000][/color][/b][/color]
[color=blue][b][color=#000000]I already said that I hadn't taken offense to anything--that it was simply my response-- and I didn't argue with Lalaith at all... I used the quote to point out what I was responding to (that's why you can't figure out why I was arguing--because I wasn't).[/color][/b][/color]
[color=blue][b][color=#000000][/color][/b][/color]
[color=blue][b][color=#000000]And please-- tell me-- what exactly am I supposed to be admitting to? No, really- this one I really want a reply to- PM me or something.[/color][/b]

[QUOTE=AzureWolf]I too have noticed that bisexuals are usually more open about sex than other people. Maybe bisexuals have a greater sexual drive than the normal person (I think they call that libido)? That could also explain why some (most?) bisexuals have a preference for one gender, but are still attracted to either sex

I'm not trying to say a strong libido is bad, but it's an interesting idea that sexual drive could be the cause for some (not all) people's bisexual behavior. In other words, so as to not offend someone by some misunderstanding, it could be that some people are bisexuals, and others are bisexuals by a strong sexual drive.[color=#000000][/QUOTE][/color]

[b][color=black]a) "More open about sex" is not the same thing as being a "slut".[/color][/b]

[b][color=black]b) I'm failing to see how one's sex drive can dictate their preference. I'm just too damned exhausted right now to explain why that argument is so flawed. PM me if you want to hear my reasoning on that.[/color][/b]

[/color][color=black][b]And here's the other reason-- that somehow, I'm not speaking English anymore, or you guys aren't-- either way, my sexuality is not something I want to argue about and defend-- I posted on this thread for discussion's sake, and it's been nothing but misunderstanding and conflict (which I can usually enjoy, but not now... grrrr...not now...)[/b][/color]

[quote name='skedy][color=teal][size=1][font=Lucida Sans Unicode] I think you've taken what I meant wrongly elfpirate. I said I think sexuality is determined by how far you are willing to go, not how far you have gone or will go. But I also admit that I phrased what I meant badly and should say that I think it is a large factor in determing ones sexuality and is a huge bearing on how much someone is willing to admit to themselves.[/font][/size'][/color][/quote][b]Of course I have taken it "wrongly"... that's what I do these days...:rolleyes: [/b]

[b]I took it as it was written. "I think sexuality is determined by how far you are willing to go."[/b]
[b]It was a pretty cut-and-dry statement, and I offered my opinion on it-- as it was written.[/b]

[b]LOL- come on, you guys, I know I'm the all-powerful elfpirate, and I make a habit out of reading all of your minds simultaneously, keeping up with your clever little antics *shakes fist at Drix* and knowing everything that you MEANT to say, but I just can't do it this week...[/b]
[b]I haven't slept since... wow--I don't even remember-- cut me some slack, huh? It's been a rough year for me already.lol[/b]

[skedy]

[COLOR=Teal][SIZE=1][FONT=Lucida Sans Unicode]More a point for reflection that an actuall comment on anything. I dreaded telling my parents that I was anything other than straight. Dad is what like call a blokey bloke. By this I mean he is the sort of guy who gets out there plays football, has a couple of drinks with his mates and generally has an 'it'll be right' attitude.This isn't a bad thing, but he is also very proud and somehow I convinved myself that he would feel almost ashamed to learn that his eldest son was not straight.

Now my parents split up and married seperate partners when I was young. I was raised by my mother and my step-father but spent time with my father regularly. My step-father is a real out doors man but generally more accepting of homosexual couples than my hereditary father. He hates the idea of bisexuality however, thinks it results in too many people's feelings being hurt in unsure relationships. I think he thinks that bisexual people are simply confused and that people have to be either gay or straight, there is nothing else. I still don't really think he likes the fact that I'm bi too much.

My mother is cool, she makes a point of being accepting towards everyone and everything. She was the only one, as far as family go, that I didn't hesitate in telling my sexuality. Likewise my step mother seemed cool. But I know she is more or less disgusted by the notion of a same sex relationship. But she is accepting enough to live with it, so long s they don't involve her in any way.

That was my take on my family before I told them. Then last new years eve I decided, slightly trashed I might add, that I should make my sexuality an open. I'd already told several of my closest friends but decided it was time to let my family know and the whle world along with it.

Over the break I was watching mother's house, she was holidaying up north with the rest of the family, so I called my father from there and told him over the phone. He thought I was joking at first but was cool once he realised that I wasn't. There was no way I could have confronted him in person about it, I just couldn't get he confidence up to do it. Then I called my mother and told her openly that I was bisexual. She wasn't really suprised but said that she expected me to say I was gay.

I guess my point is that you tend to assume people's reactions are going to be worse, well at least I do, than they are actually going to be. I know that SunfallE isn't confident in whether or not she is bi but I somehow it seems relevant to make the point that you cannot get anywhere with this sort of thing unless you take a risk and put it out there.

There was no way that I was going to be confident with my sexuality until I told people. And since then I've been alot more comfortable around both my friends and family. But then again I don't have strong ties to my family, I will move a fair way away from them in the next year and don't really care all that much about it, and I'd already talked to my closest friends about it so I knew that they didn't have a problem with it.

Well yeah, there is a nice little reflective sorta speil. What do we think?

~skedy[/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]

[The Harlequin]

[font=gothic][color=darkslategray]Well, I may as well throw something into the ring.

I'm bisexual, I'm a slut, I'm open to, and have done, just about everything (I have a few limits), and I know several bisexuals who are exactly the same. Mind you, we all went to the same parties, so that could have helped. My family's fine with it, it's common knowledge, and I have absolutely no care what people think about me. Not to say this any kind of marker for the normal experience or anything, but I would agree that bisexuals are often described as sluts, or "greedy" around here, and I have to say it's accurate in my experience.

Anybody want to have a problem with that?[/font][/color]