Writing What You Do [PG-13]

[vegeta rocker]

This is still a rough draft and i would appreciate any input.


What you do

everyone looked away
and let themselves go
blind

my screams drove them deaf
and made them cringe
on the outside

they wrapped
themselves tight with
lullabies in their heads

now the voices inside
hurt my ears and
i can't forget the things
they've said

cutting them out of me
doesn't work anymore
not like it used to

stay and watch
and see what it is
you do

[Kaimara]

[COLOR=DeepSkyBlue]that's really pretty. I like it a lot![/COLOR] :animesmil

[vegeta rocker]

I wasn't really going for something pretty, but whatever works i guess.
There are implications of self mutilation but i guesse that wasn't voiced quite enough.

[Kaimara]

...I called it pretty, cuz it was a nice poem...I call everything pretty! :animesmil
lol
I know almost nothing about poetry, so i didn't understand a word you just said... :animestun

[JT Darkfire]

[QUOTE=vegeta rocker]
There are implications of self mutilation but i guesse that wasn't voiced quite enough.[/QUOTE]

I don't know...it was kind of apparent to me. It was actually an intriguing rhyme scheme. All in all, it was a pleasure to read, regardless of the less than pleasant subject content. Good job.