Is politeness wrong?

[shinji172]

This could just be my paranoia but Has anyone noticed that if you help someone your more likelly to recieve abuse than appretiation? Today i held the door open for someone (it seemed to be the right thing to do) and rather than even say thanks he laughed at me and called me a stupid *******. Now I dont want praise but I certainly dont want this to happen everyday. Am I overreacting or have things like this happened to any of you?

[Godelsensei]

Don't ever make the mistake of letting something said/done by a total jackass modify your thinking. It doesn't really help you achieve anything.

General civility is something to be held sacred, and it's usually greeted with some sort of "thank you", even if it's just a nod or a smile. Because everybody has it in them to be generally civil. Some people ignore this ability, though, and, consequentially, have no real friends, or chance of gaining any.

[Corey]

[size=1]This happens to me a lot at my school.
Though it's always by the ones that I expect to see on the news at night for shooting someone or being involved in some huge drug bust.

Like Godelsensei said, don't let the actions of a few idiots change your polite demeanor. People like you are few and far between. It's important to hold onto the little good this world has left.[/size]

[Semjaza]

When I saw the title to this thread, I thought "god, what the hell is this crap..." like I do so often when I come in this section heh. However, I have to say that the point you bring up here is something I actually understand. As said, I'd not use the actions of a particular jackass to lead you to question anything such as this. The fact that someone would call you any sort of name for doing something such as that is really beyond ridiculous. Personally, I would have just insulted the guy back, but sometimes it's hard to react quickly in situations as surprising as that.

I find, in general, that being a nice guy/girl has its ups and downs. I don't particularly feel I'm an especially nice person, but I'm told I am. You have some people who genuinely appreciate it and you have some people who take advantage of it completely. I can't tell you how many times doing something nice for someone gets me dragged into some sort of debacle of epic proportions, just because the person seemingly expects to be able to walk all over you (sometimes that's even something they do unconsciously, I notice).

You just have to take these things in stride, I suppose. I think being polite or decent to people in those senses is just a basic thing. Some people don't. It's not my loss. The times people actually do appreciate it tend to make up for the crap that happens otherwise.

[shinji172]

Thanks for all of your reassuring advice. Its nice to know that there are still kind people in the world and im gratefull for that (better stop before i repeat myselph even further :D )

[Kamuro]

ahh well, people are ignorant, it happens. Even though politeness often isn't a big deal, I believe that doing something nice or helping someone out will come around and you'll be rewarded in some way. Karma I guess. Maybe its just hopeful aspirations, but its nice to think your kindness is truly appreciated and will eventually be returned to you.

[Baron Samedi]

[size=1]I've always found it amusing to shut the door in old ladies faces. Yeah, thats right.

...

Anyway, politeness is not wrong. Think about how you feel if someone holds a door open for you, or helps you in some other [n]non-invasive, but courteous[/b] way. Can you really say that it's wrong? Good on you for not succumbing to the morass of seething stupidity some people indulge in.[/size]

[Sara]

[font=trebuchet ms]At my dorm, you have to swipe your ID to get into the building, and again to get to the section of the building where your room is (and yet [i]again[/i] if you want to get into the computer lab). It really isn't that much of a hassle, but it can be a real pain when you're carrying something or in a bit of a hurry.

After a while, you automatically hold the door for someone coming a ways behind you, and you expect others to do the same for you. When someone [i]doesn't[/i] do so, people tend to get upset--not in a dramatic way, but I've overheard comments ranging from "too important to hold the door, I guess" to "yeah, **** you, too."

Little make-things-run-more-smoothly courtesies are really appreciated, and people--remember, we're talking about bored teenagers, here--will actually go out of their way (not [i]far[i] out of their way, mind, but out of their way nonetheless) to help someone out. Holding the elevator for someone who's carrying laundry will earn you their eternal gratitude. (Okay, not really, but still.)

And I opened the door for an old lady at McDonald's last summer, and she said "Bless your heart," and I totally felt awesome. Heh.[/font]

[AzureWolf]

[quote name='Lore']At my dorm, you have to swipe your ID to get into the building, and again to get to the section of the building where your room is (and yet again if you want to get into the computer lab).[/quote][COLOR=blue]Given the chance, I never swipe in. At Stevens, you have to swipe your card for every building (including dorms), and I used to. Then I went to the Office of Residence Life asking about why my ID wasn't working. They were like, "It's working. You were at the library at 5:27 PM, and before that at 3:11 PM. At around 4:25, you went to the computer center, and ten minutes ago you arrived in Howe (this building)." O_O

I have a similar situation as Lore. The dorms are a pain to get into, and so everyone just lets everyone else in. There's one thing I can't stand, though, and that's in the cafeteria when people think you'll just open the backdoor for them so they can come in and get free food. Why get free food from the school cafeteria instead of somewhere better will always boggle my mind.[/COLOR]

[SunfallE]

[QUOTE=Godelsensei]Don't ever make the mistake of letting something said/done by a total jackass modify your thinking. It doesn't really help you achieve anything.

General civility is something to be held sacred, and it's usually greeted with some sort of "thank you", even if it's just a nod or a smile. Because everybody has it in them to be generally civil. Some people ignore this ability, though, and, consequentially, have no real friends, or chance of gaining any.[/QUOTE]

Exactly what I think. In the long run being polite is always a good thing. I always go by the thinking of treating others how I would prefer to be treated. I prefer to be treated politely so I always try to make sure I treat others that way.

[Bloodseeker]

Its a classic problem. People tend to mistake for weakness, and most people like to take advantage of weaker people. Its good to be a nice guy, but sometimes you've got to go psycho on people that try to take advantage of your kindness to let them know that you're not going to be pushed around. Otherwise, people will continue to disrespect you because they know that you're too nice/weak to do anything about it.

[AlishaKitten]

*laughs* Why would politeness be something that's wrong?

Anyway I know some people like to be a$$holes by back stabing you but I don't think that's something that's gotta stop you from being nice. I mean just go on living your life even though there's gonna be jacka$$es in it. You just gotta learn from your mistakes.

[Zephyr]

[quote name='shinji172'] Today i held the door open for someone (it seemed to be the right thing to do) and rather than even say thanks he laughed at me and called me a stupid *******. [/quote]

Just be glad you even got a responce. Here in northern Illinios you have a 50-50 chance, when holding a door open, of the person even looking your way. I can't even begin to tell you how many times I have wanted to grab someone by the collar and toss them back out of the door I held for them just because they don't even feign politeness.

At the very least I look at it this way. I am polite to others because I don't want to become one of those rude jerks that I mentioned above. One good note, someone actually did say thank you when I held a door for him today, and even held if for the family that was right behind him. It's amazing how something small like that can brighten your day up, even by a little.

[Harry]

Well you gotta remember that no good deed goes unpunished. Also I got a good laugh from the stupid ******* part. I think I would've busted down laughing if someone said that to me after I held the door open for them.

[Venge]

Originally posted by Harry

[QUOTE]Well you gotta remember that no good deed goes unpunished. Also I got a good laugh from the stupid ******* part. I think I would've busted down laughing if someone said that to me after I held the door open for them.[/QUOTE]
Nah. Bashing the door on their face next time you see them would of been the 'polite' thing to do to prove to them that you are not a weakling. -bashes various faces in various doors-

I am a very nice guy. Whenever I see someone in need of help, I help them, except if I severly hate them...but I do help others. I always hold the door for someone, ask if someone needs help carrying things and I also help others out with personal problems if they are willing to tell me about them.

Crap..short post...gotta go. Bell is about to ring.

[shinji172]

Im posting to say that yesterday I got my own back (albeit in a clicheid way). After he suddenly found out that his field work (which counts as 25% of the exam) was missing its graphs and other bits and pieces. What does that Idiot do? he goes and askes ME to help him as no one else has a copy of their fieldwork results (its already being collected-I only have it saved on floppy disk). So I calmly and coldly said no. Whilst that petty act in itselph wasnt special I will always remember the way his face suddenly dropped :D
A preaty boring story and a bit off topic but at least im happy :animeswea .