Favorite Simpsons Quotes!

[DBZgirl88]

[COLOR=#004a6f]What are your all time favorite Simpsons quotes? Here are a few of mine:


[B]Bart is browzing in the souvenir store in itchy and scratchy land:[/B]

Bart: Cool! Personalized plates! Barcley, Barry, Barry, Bert, Bort...come on...Bort?
Kid: Mommy mommy! Buy me a liscence plate!
Mom: No! Come along Bort!
Guy: Are you talking to me?
Mom: No, my son's name is also Bort.

[Later]

Control Guy: We need more Bort lisence plates in the gift shop! I repeat, we are sold out of Bort lisence plates!


[B]When Moe gets hooked to the lie detector:[/B]

Cop: Did you hold a grudge against Montgomery Burns?
Moe: No. [buzz]
Moe: All right, I did. But I didn't shoot him. [ding]
Cop: Checks out. All right, sir. You're free to go.
Moe: Good, 'cause I got a hot date tonight. [buzz]
Moe: A date. [buzz]
Moe: Dinner with friends. [buzz]
Moe: Dinner alone. [buzz]
Moe: Watching TV alone. [buzz]
Moe: All right! I'm going to sit at home and ogle the ladies in the Victoria's Secret catalog. [buzz]
Moe: Sears catalog. [ding]
Moe: Now will you unhook me already? I don't deserve this shabby treatment! [buzz]

[B]When homer ran away to the light hous in search of his soulmate:[/B]
I'm alone! I'm just a lonely speck on a has-been world orbited by a cold and distant Sun." -Homer[/COLOR]

[Xyandar]

[B]On a Halloween Episode(I believe), the family stays at this haunted house and there is no tv, no alcahol or anything.[/B]

Homer:No TV,No Beer make Homer go what??
Marge:uh...crazy..?
Homer:Don't mind if I do! * goes crazy

I love that haha

[Lord Dante]

[B] lisa the stargazer episode[/B]

lisa (to homer): dad, this lack of sleep is making mom and maggie crazy.

homer: don't you think you're reacting talking gumball machine??

[NinjaJedi007]

Ralph - Mr. Simpson, these tar fumes are making me dizzy.
Homer - Yeah they'll do that.

[Lord Dante]

homer: NANANANANANANA fishing NANANANANANANANANA fishing, fishing, fishing, fishing.

movementerian jerk: why don't you come over to the welcome centre and hear about the leader?

homer: will there be beer?

movementerian jerk: beer is not allowed.

homer: homer no function beer well without.

movementarian jerk: would you rather have beer, or complete and utter contentment?

homer: what kind of beer?

movementarian jerk: why don't you come and watch our movie at the welcome centre, you're free to leave whenever you want.

homer: oh wow a movie! OUTTA MY WAY JERKASS!!!

[Gavin]

[SIZE=1]Interesting, most interesting.

[b]Homer driving home in his car after work.[/b]
"Simpson, Homer Simpson,
he's the greatest in history.
From the town of Springfield
he's about to hit a chestnut tree."
[[i]Screams[/i]]

[b]Abe's words of wisdom.[/b]
"Homer, you're dumb as a mule and twice as ugly"

[b]Stan Lee in Comic Book Guy's store.[/b]
"Broke it, or made it [U]better[/U] ?"

[b]Sideshow Bob on focusing.[/b]
"Homer, if I could write haikus while skinheads beat me with soap, I can concentrate anywhere."

[b]Sideshow Bob on Homer.[/b]
"Must...save...buffoon."

That's all that I can think of at the moment.[/SIZE]

[Guest sr_00]

Not sure of the episodes, but these are my favourites:

(side note: they're all quoted by Homer Simpson)

I just wish once someone would call me "Sir" without adding, "You're making a scene."

Marge, every time I learn something new it pushes something old out of my brain. Remember that time I learned how to make wine and forgot how to drive?

We can hike anytime. This is our chance to see cars driving.

Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

Operator! Give me the number for 911!

You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel.

A graduate student, huh? How come you guys can go to the moon, but you can?t make my shoes smell good?

Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.

I'm not normally a religious man, but if you're up there, save me, Superman!

Stupid T.V. Be more funny.

I don't have to be careful. I've got a gun!

I am so smart. I am so smart. I am so smart. SMRT

Homer no function beer well without.

That's all from me.

[Doukeshi]

[COLOR=DimGray][SIZE=1]Okay This is from the ep where Bart goes on a squishy bender and ends up joining the cub scouts.

Homer, having just dropped his peanut is searching for it under the couch.

[b]Homer:[/b] Ewww, squishy. Oww, pointy. Uh oh, moving. Aha! Aww, twenty dollars...but I wanted a peanut.

In the episode where Bleeding Gums Murphy dies

[b]Homer:[/b] Aww its okay honey. Remember the time when the cat died. We were all sad, but we got a new cat. So, we can all feel sad right now, or we can go to the pound and get a new jazz man.

and just a few random ones.

[b]Homer:[/b] O spiteful one! Show me who to smite and they shall be smoten!

[b]Homer:[/b] Lisa, vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos .

[b]Grandpa Simpson:[/b] When you get to be my age death is everywhere. Look Death!
[b]Lisa:[/b] That's the lamp grandpa
[b]Grandpa Simpson:[/b] Death!
[b]Lisa:[/b] Thats the dog grandpa.
[b]Grandpa Simpson:[/b] Death!
[b]Lisa:[/b] Thats the lamp again grandpa.

and finally one of my favourites.

[b]Homer:[/b] (singing) Oh Mindy. You came and you gave without flaking, but I sent you Ben Gay.
Oh Andy You kissed me and stopped me from something..."
[b]Lisa:[/b]It sounds like you're infatuated with a girl named Mindy...or a boy named Andy.
[b]Homer:[/b] Actually I'm auditioning for a small part in a broadway musical, its not much but its a start.
[b]Homer's Brain:[/b] Bravo...(slow claps)[/SIZE][/COLOR]

[cyberphenix]

mine was in the episode where Homer was working at wallmart and said
im sick of this treatment everyone let pull out our control chips(or something like that)
Homer-hey i did it with no braim damag-gamit-gamit-ge. lol

[Lord Dante]

[QUOTE=cyberphenix]mine was in the episode where Homer was working at wallmart and said
im sick of this treatment everyone let pull out our control chips(or something like that)
Homer-hey i did it with no braim damag-gamit-gamit-ge. lol[/QUOTE]
as far as my knowledge goes, homer has never worked at wallmart.

[DBZgirl88]

[COLOR=#004a6f]Reverend Lovejoy: Nice dress.
Catholic Minister: Oh, go home and have sex with your wife!
Reverend Lovejoy: That's it, bring it on!
(start fighting)

Homer: English - Who needs that? I'm never going to England!

Homer: Hey, we didn't have a message on our answering machine when we left. How very odd...

Homer: Bad bees. Get away from my sugar. Ow. OW. Oh, they're defending themselves somehow.

Krusty: Lets just say it moved me....TO A BIGGER HOUSE! Oh crap, I said the quiet part loud and the loud part quiet.

Abe: Homer, you're as dumb as a mule and twice as ugly. If a strange man offers you a ride I say take it!

Bart: Remember, you can always find East by staring directly at the sun

Moe: Hi, my name's Moe. Or as the ladies like to refer to me, 'hey you in the bushes'

Homer: Moe, I need your advice.
Moe: Yeah?
Homer: See, I got this friend named... Joey Jo Jo... Junior... Shabadoo.
Moe: That's the worst name I ever heard.
Joey runs out of the bar sobbing
Barney: Hey! Joey Jo Jo!

Milhouse: Remember the time he ate my goldfish? And you lied and said I never had goldfish. Then why did I have the bowl Bart? [I]Why did I have the bowl?[/I]

Principal Skinner: Order, order. Do you kids wanna be like the real UN or do you just wanna squabble and waste time?

Burns: Look at that pig. Stuffing his face with donuts on my time! That's right, keep eating...Little do you know you're drawing ever closer to the poison donut! [cackles evilly, then stops abruptly] There is a poison one, isn't there Smithers?
Smithers: Err...no, sir. I discussed this with our lawyers and they consider it murder.

Grandpa: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is [I]not[/I] a porn star.

Lenny: There's nothing like revenge for getting back at people.
Carl: I don't know man, vengeance sounds pretty good.

Carl: You know I'm sick and tired of people assuming I'm good at basketball just because Im African American. (Slam Dunks the ball)

Frink: GLAYVEN! [/COLOR]

[Lord Dante]

Concert guy: OI! where are you all going! the concert just started!

Wiggum: who cares? we allready heard the "bah-buh-buh-bum", you know, the rest is just filler.

-----------------------------------

*homer runs into casino* GEHFURARADAGUARA!!!!!!!!!

marge: homer slow down.

homer: geh-fura-rada-gu-ara

marge: think before you talk!

[Genzo]

Marge: Homer, are you going to ignore Grampa for the rest of your life?
Homer: No, just for the rest of his life!

Little Debbie: Dr Frink, is the Space ship going to be ready for the performance tonight?
Dr. Frink: I have visited the future and yes, it well be ready.

Principal Skinner: Well Wille, I'm off on vacation. Make sure that the school is spotless when I come back.
Wille: Sure thing, yeh silk wearin' croquet playin' buttercup!

Wille: BONJOUR! yeh Cheese eatin' surrender monkeys!

Ralph: I bent my wookie!

Homer: What do you think of the new area code Carl?
Carl: I don't know. the 6 is closer to the 3, which is a conviency, but the 9 has less to do with Satan in this religious world of ours.

[Osaka]

when Bart found the three eyed fish and Mr. Burns came over for dinner.

Homer:Bart will you say grace?

Bart: Okay, Dear god. We paid for most of this stuff ourselves so thanx for nuthin :D

And when Bart Lisa and Maggie are adopted by the Flanders.

Homer: Dad we leave you with the kids for a few hour and you let the county take them?! :mad:

Granpa: OH B**** B**** B**** :o

[Yoda]

[B]Mr Burns picks up the phone.[/B]

[B]Mr Burns:[/B] Lets see now... Smithers. S-M-I-T-H-E-R-S. There we go...

[B]Moe:[/B] Moe's Tavern.

[B]Mr Burns:[/B] I'd like to speak to Whelan Smithers please.

[B]Moe:[/B] What the? Listen you, if I find out who this is I'm gonna rip your eyes out and shove them down your pants so you can see me kickin' your ***!

[CENTER]-------------------------[/CENTER]

[B]Mr Burns:[/B] Oh no! They know too much... Smithers, use the amnesia ray!

[B]Smithers:[/B] You mean the revolver Sir?

[B]Mr Burns:[/B] Yes, and by sure to give yourself a dose when your finished.

[CENTER]---------------------------[/CENTER]

[B]Moe singing:[/B] Moe Moe Moe! How d'ya like me, how d'ya like me? Moe Moe Moe! Nobody likes me, why wont ya' hug me?

[CENTER]---------------------------[/CENTER]

[B]Scully:[/B] Homer, we're going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand?

[B]Homer:[/B] Yes. (lie dectector blows up)

[CENTER]---------------------------[/CENTER]

[B]Marge:[/B] Why doesn't the Judge like you?

[B]Lionel Hutz:[/B] Well, he's kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace "accidentally" with "repeatedly," and replace "dog" with "son."

[CENTER]---------------------------[/CENTER]

[B]Apu comes back to his store after closing it down for 5 minutes ? Hans Moleman is trapped inside[/B]

[B]Hans Moleman:[/B] You cost me 5 minutes of my life and I want them back!

[B]Apu:[/B] I am sorry, sir.

[B]Hans Moleman:[/B] Never mind, I would have just wasted them anyway.

[CENTER]---------------------------[/CENTER]

[B]Groundskeeper Willie:[/B] Brothers 'n' Sisters 'r' mortal enemies! Like English 'n' Scots, 'n' Welsh 'n' Scots, 'n' Scots 'n' other Scots! Stupid Scots, they ruined Scotland!

[CENTER]---------------------------[/CENTER]

[B]Lionel Hutz:[/B] This is the greatest case of false advertising I've seen since I sued the movie 'The Never Ending Story'.

[Lord Dante]

frink: oh, sorry i'm late. there was trouble at the lab with the running and the exploding and the crying... one of the monkeys... stole the glasses off my head!