Charles Posted May 1, 2005 Share Posted May 1, 2005 Oh my! Oh my! Everything is toast! Oh my! Oh my! The sky is made of toast! Golden--and bright! It's toast! All right! Comes in slices of sunlight--Yes! I'll bite! That's right! I might! The sky has gone a-rye! Breakfast! Hooray! Foundation of the day! Okay! Oh my! Oh my! Everything is toast! Oh my! Oh my! The air is made of toast! So crisp! So fair! I do declare! Asleep! Awake! I smell it unaware! I do! I dare, Come bounding down the stair! Breakfast! Hooray! Foundation of the day! Okay! Oh my! Oh my! Everything is toast! Oh my! Oh my! The land is made of toast! No fuss--I crave crust! I must! Those nooks! Those crannies! Oh, how I lust for that delicious, flaky crust! A sluice of butter smoothes my trust! Pass me seconds! Pass me more! With my fork, I thrust down to its core! Breakfast! Hooray! Foundation of the day! I do not mean to boast, but I need to shout the wonders of the toast, so if I may, I'll propose a toast! Hooray! Okay! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lea Posted May 1, 2005 Share Posted May 1, 2005 If I knew toast made you that happy, I would have given you some for your birthday. I thought it was interesting how you compared toast to the air and such. That was rather clever. =) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2010DigitalBoy Posted May 1, 2005 Share Posted May 1, 2005 Wow... what a coincedence, I actually ate toast today, which I do extremely rarely. You have a serious obsession with toast. I hope this isn't some unnoticed double meaning Im not getting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charles Posted May 1, 2005 Author Share Posted May 1, 2005 I've now made some revisions suggested by Alex. I'd say that the poem has improved quite a bit overall. So, while I sift through all these countless replies, :rolleyes: enjoy the new, revised edit. And nah, I'm not really obsessed with toast. Although when I was young, I was obsessed with French Toast. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roxie Faye Posted May 1, 2005 Share Posted May 1, 2005 [color=#9933ff]Nice rhyming, I must say. I haven't seen a rhyme scheme like that in um... never? It's very creative, and I love the exclamatory phrases. ^^; And like I said, I had toast for breakfast, too. =D[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amity Posted May 1, 2005 Share Posted May 1, 2005 [font=times new roman][size=2]Oh my, Charles... you're so weird.. nice poem hun, but you're still weird!! Toast freak... haha.[/size][/font] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Japan Posted May 5, 2005 Share Posted May 5, 2005 [COLOR=Navy]The best part about this poem in particular is the rythmn. I LOVE the rythmn. Not bad of a subject choice either. Three words can describe this poem perfectly? Awesome! Superb! I'm hungry! I know that the last one wasn't a word, but what the heck...it made me hungry. All of your poems dealing with food really really make me hungry...and crave for what ever you write about. A+++[/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gavin Posted May 7, 2005 Share Posted May 7, 2005 [SIZE=1]Interesting, most interesting. A poem about my stable food stuff, I cannot imagine a nicer subject matter or one which would send the reader involuntarily to go and eat some toast to truly appreciate the poem. Great poem, let's have some more about Chinese food or fried steak. [/SIZE] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Asphyxia Posted May 8, 2005 Share Posted May 8, 2005 [font=arial narrow]Oh god, what I would give for Vegemite and real butter on toast right now. I love the way you continually do something to change and to impress us. If all you did was write the same sort of poems, then it all would hae gotten old fast. But the way you change it; the cats poem which was indescribably yummy, and now this toast poem with no connotations at all [but with extra zest! ^.~] it all makes it very interesting to keep reading your poems. For some reason, the poem reminds me of something like Dr Seuss. I think it has to be the exclaimation marks. Have you written anything in Dr Seuss style? If so, where is it? If not, I challenge you to! ^_^[/font] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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